Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act III

            Somehow Cerise managed to steer the conversation away from sex and towards Star Trek, a subject she was much more comfortable with.  They decided that First Contact was the best of the movies and when Cerise ordered him to blow up the damn ship he protested by attacking Cerise with a pillow.  They struggled for a while until he let her overcome him and she celebrated by stretching out on the couch, resting her legs on his lap.

            She was acutely aware that she was recreating her first meeting with Terry, right down to the couch on which they were sitting but this experience was different because Tom wasn’t self-confident enough to give her a foot rub.  Oh well, at least he could discuss Star Trek intelligently.

            “So how come when he breaks his little ships it’s such a revelation for him?  He looks at his little broken models and that turns him around?  I never got that,” Tom confessed.

            “It made him think of the destroyed Enterprise D and he’s all, hey, I’m not even on my original Enterprise.  And I guess it’s not so bad if another one gets destroyed ‘cause it’s about winning the war, not the battle.”

            Tom seemed stunned.  “Oh, really?  That totally makes sense.  You’re smart.”

            She giggled and decided that yes, she was smart and could totally choose what would happen next with Tom.  She was in complete control. 

            Terry had met up with Andrew at Clyde’s and they’d played pool as usual and ogled chicks as usual and drank copious amounts of beer as usual.  Or rather, it was no longer usual but once had been.  Honestly it wasn’t quite as much fun as back in the day and Terry wondered if maybe it would be worth it to dump Andrew in favour of getting back with Cerise.  But no, it wasn’t so much about Andrew himself as the principle of the thing.  Besides, he was footloose and fancy free now and this was the perfect opportunity to get some tail, something he hadn’t done in ages. 

            They rated the chicks in the room and Andrew set his sights on the one he considered hottest, although she wasn’t really that hot in Terry’s opinion.

            “You just like her ‘cause she seems the most desperate.  I mean she’s practically wearing a bikini she’s so not dressed and it’s like, November so it’s like, not even seasonally appropriate so it’s like pretty obvious she’s a total slut.”

            Andrew stared at Terry in disbelief.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

            “Whatever, I want a chick who’s more… I dunno, pretty.”  He was about to point out a girl with short blonde hair but then thought better of it, realizing he was just picking the chick who looked most like Cerise.  He scanned the crowd and picked someone as far away from Cerise as possible, but still cute.  “There, her, the black chick there with the big tits.  I’m going for her.”

            “I’m so over black chicks,” groaned Andrew.  “They’re like, totally stacked but they’re always bitches.  I mean always dude, always.”

            “Well I’ve never been with a black chick so I’ve gotta fill the quota, right?” smirked Terry, acutely aware of what a racist asshole Cerise would accuse him of being at this moment.

            “No doubt, man, no doubt,” nodded Andrew.  “But give the bitch a fake number ‘cause fuck, you don’t want her calling you.  Trust.”

            Terry agreed and off they went to catch their prey.

            Julie basically knew she was a loser for doing it but she still went to Terry’s house even though he was totally her sister’s ex-boyfriend and it was totally gross and incestuous and lame to try and get with him but still, he was totally hot and totally worth it if he’d go out with her so she might as well try even though she was seriously nervous and totally second-thoughting the idea to bring him homemade cookies, which was like totally lame and 1950s and shit, right?

            She held her breath as the door opened and Terry’s little brother, whose name escaped her at the moment, appeared looking confused.

            “Jules?” he asked.

            Wow, how totally embarrassing.  He totally remembered her name and she had no idea what to call him.  “Hey, yeah, hi,” she smiled.  “Um, is Terry here?”

            “You wanna see Terry?”

            “Um, yeah?  I like, brought him some cookies.  I made them myself,” she said lamely.

            “You made cookies for Terry?” he looked incredulous.

            “Like um, yeah?”

            “Why?”

            “Uh,” she paused, wracking her brain for the answer.  “I dunno.  I haven’t seen him in a while. I was wondering how he was doing.”

            “Oh.”  He stared at her.  “Well he’s not here but I am and I like cookies too.”  The way he smiled was totally like Terry’s smile.  Totally hot!

            She stepped into the house with a giggle.

            Was it something to do with that couch?  How come every time Cerise came to Karine’s house she hooked up with some guy on her living room couch?  It was pretty clear they’d be hooking up before the night was over.  Cerise has her legs draped over him and he was holding her knees, rather awkwardly, what a loser, and they were laughing and talking excitedly and stuff.

            Another successful party, Karine supposed.  Janice had apparently recovered from her fall and was now dancing with a bunch of random guys Karine couldn’t identify. 

            “So you wanna dance?”

            Karine turned to see that Peter was still with her, having followed her into the room.  She’d totally forgotten about him.  But why?  He was totally hot in his own way.  What was Karine’s deal?  She said she was in too much pain to dance, which was true but mostly she didn’t feel like it.  There weren’t any seats left in the room so she strode over to Cerise and her embarrassing flirtation with that Tom guy.

            “Use up all the couch space much?” she smirked.

            “Oh sorry,” said Cerise, straightening up.

            She and Tom scooched to one end of the couch while Karine sat down, with Peter snuggling up next to her.

            “That good?” asked Peter.

            “No, but it’s fine,” Karine said dismissively.  At this point she was more interested in eavesdropping on Cerise’s retarded conversation with nerd boy.

            “I always thought Picard and Dr. Crucher should have gotten together,” she was saying.

            “Well they did in the possible future in All Good Things.”

            “Yeah but we never got to see it.  I just thought they should be together especially after they got psychically linked in that episode where they get psychically linked.”

            Peter was nuzzling Karine’s neck and she thought for a moment that it was kind of rude of him to try to pick her up when she was clearly still in a lot of physical pain.  Then again, it had been awhile since she’d gotten her neck nuzzled and it did feel pretty good.

            “Yeah really, there’s all that tension and then it just fizzles,” said Tom.

            “I know!  These mega revelations and then nothing.  It’s like, why didn’t you ever tell me you were in love with me?”

            “You were married to my best friend.  But he’s dead now so screw it!”

            And then Tom actually kissed Cerise and she kissed back.  Wow, way to go nerd boy.

            “That would’ve been a better ending!” said Cerise with a giggle, totally missing the opportunity to get some action in favour of talking about nerd shit.  “Hey, Data, what were you thinking about just now?”

            “Haha!  Cat food!  Just like in that poem you wrote, cat food kissing!”

            “Exactly!  It’s all about Data.  You know, that guy got a lot of action for an android.  I mean he got more than Geordie ever did.”

            “Hah, but that’s not saying much!” laughed Tom.

            “It’s always the wacky characters who get the most action.  Like in Voyager it was the doctor.”

            Seriously?  Was Cerise seriously talking about Dr. Who now or whatever, instead of making out with this cute guy who was maybe not actually cute but definitely nerd cute?  It was so pathetic.  Karine adjusted herself so she could get a better view of their little interaction and nudged Peter away as she did so. 

            “Your back hurt?” he asked.

            “Yeah.  No.  Peter, no offence or anything… but I don’t know if I really wanna do this.”  She smiled, trying not to sound bitchy.

            “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” he asked wryly.

            She laughed.  “No!  Shut up!  It’s just… I don’t wanna have some meaningless hook-up.  I’m not into that kinda thing anymore.”  Yeah, that sounded good.  It was even true.

            “Who said I wanted a meaningless hook-up?  Karine, I’ve had a thing for you since sec 4.  I’d be into… you know, having a real relationship with you.”

            Karine was speechless.  He sounded completely sincere and that was actually genuinely endearing.

            “If you’re not into me it’s cool.  I can take it.  I mean, I’ll just convince myself that it’s another case of the white man brainwashing the white woman into rejecting the black man.”

            She laughed again.

            “It’s just the white man trying to keep us brotha’s down.  Know what I’m sayin’?” he said, suddenly sounding like a gangsta stereotype.

            Karine laughed appreciatively.  “I’m not saying I don’t wanna get together with you.  I’m just saying... I mean, what if we took it slow?  ‘Cause I mean, I’m thinking these days, I should go about things differently than I used to.  ‘Cause the way I used to do things, you know, they didn’t always work out so great for me.”

            He smiled, revealing perfectly straight, glowingly white teeth.  He was kind of a pretty boy, wasn’t he?  Well Terry was kind of a pretty boy, so wasn’t that her type?  He assured her that they could take things slowly if she wanted to. 

            Karine looked over to Tom and Cerise, who were still talking about whatever the hell lame ass nerd stuff they were into. 

            “So uh, how slow is slow?” Peter asked.  “Should I start investing in an RRSP or what?”

            She laughed yet again and then kissed Peter and it was actually perfectly pleasant, except for the ridiculous background noise.  Were they seriously going to talk about nerd stuff all night?

            “All his spirituality crap was so dumb.  It’s like, you’re in space, stop being so cosmic.  All his beliefs were like, whatever.  It was so forced.  Hi, I have a spirit guide, let’s play with my medicine wheel.  It’s like, unless you’re on North of 60, I don’t wanna see it.”

            “That’s so politically incorrect,” laughed Tom.

            “But that’s the point, they were trying to be so progressive and like, sensitive to Amerindians or whatever but it was so forced and unnatural,” said Cerise with more passion that Karine had ever heard before.  “They just didn’t know what to do with him.  Every week he had a new thing. Oh, I’m into palaeontology, I like boxing.  Now I’m a Mars buff and I’m stealing Tom Paris’ shtick.  Pick a thing and stick with it.”

            “He had diverse interests,” laughed Tom.

            Karine kept making out with Peter as Cerise flipped out.  Something about how it was totally lame to like Choco-tay or whatever.  Tom said he was cool ‘cause he got with seven.  Seven what Karine wasn’t sure.  Cerise felt that was the most ridiculous thing ever because Seven, who was apparently a woman, was supposed to be hairy or something.

            “Harry Kim?” laughed Tom.  “He was a putz!  I mean come on, Harry and the Kimtones?”

            “Oh my god, Tom!  You are Harry and the Kimtones!”

            “Oh my god, you’re so right.  Shit!  I’m such a loser!”

            “No you’re not.  I liked Harry,” Cerise said with a voice suddenly seductive.

            “Oh yeah?  Wanna see my clarinet?”

            Wow, ok, nerd double entendres were totally lame.  Karine couldn’t help but laugh and Peter asked her if he was amusing to her, doing his best Joe Pesci, which made her laugh all the more.  It took her a second to notice that Cerise and Tom were now completely making out.  Well, good for them.

            Terry was already inside the girl when he realized he didn’t really want to be there.  As a result, he paid no attention to his performance and ended up coming rather quickly.  He pulled out with embarrassment and tossed the soiled condom into a nearby trash can.  The girl covered her hand in a Kleenex and fished it out, mumbling something about not wanting her mother to find it. 

            They were in the girl’s bedroom and her parents were out for the evening but they’d be home soon, so could he perhaps be on his way?

            Terry wondered if she was trying to get rid of him because he’d been a bad lay.  Great, now he was going to get a bad reputation in the black chick community.  Not that they had a forum or anything.  Or maybe they did, Terry didn’t know.  He certainly hadn’t made any effort to get to know this girl.  At this point he couldn’t even remember her name.  They hadn’t even exchanged numbers.  She was just a girl, an anonymous chick like any of the dozens he’d hooked up with in high school. But this time had been different because he hadn’t even been trying.  It had been as easy as ever.  A smile, the gift of a drink, a quick chat about this and that and whatever the hell.  Then back to her place - walking distance from the bar - for some brief foreplay and then no more than a minute of penetration. 

            “I’m sorry I didn’t last longer,” he said half-heartedly.  “Usually I last longer.  I guess I’m kinda drunk.”

            He was completely sober.  Completely cognisant of the fact that he’d just had bad sex with a random girl and the whole time he’d been thinking about Cerise.

            He offered to go down on the girl, to get her off.  He owed her that much.  He couldn’t very well leave without even trying but she wasn’t into it.  So he walked back to Clydes and drove home.  He would be going right past Karine’s house on his way, might as well drop by, just for the hell of it.  But no, even if he did see Cerise, he didn’t want to talk to her when he reeked of some other girl’s perfume.  Cerise didn’t even wear perfume.  Didn’t need to.  She smelled great no matter what.

            When he got home he almost thought he could smell her.  He found an open tin of cookies in the kitchen; Cerise’s cookies!  Had she been here?  Brought them by as a reconciliatory gift?  He stuffed one in his mouth and chewed happily, running upstairs, poking into rooms, yelling for his brothers.  He burst into Evan’s room without knocking.

            “Hey, Evan, did Cerise bring those cook…”

            “Get the fuck out!” Evan yelled from his bed.

            On her knees, in front of him, sucking his cock was a blonde head and just for a second he almost thought it was Cerise but no, it was her sister, Jules.  For the first time in his life Terry knew what it felt like for all the people who had walked in on him doing stuff.  It had never bothered him much when he got caught but being the one doing the catching was different.  It was more embarrassing somehow.  He didn’t even leave the room, as he knew he should, he just stood there, aghast.

            Jules turned around and licked her lips while Evan frantically covered his diminishing penis with a pillow.

            “Hi Terry,” she smiled.

            “Jesus Christ, Evan.  She’s fifteen!” he replied.

            “So am I!  Now fuck off!” Evan screeched.

            Well that was a fair point.  Terry closed the door and walked back downstairs.  He’d certainly been having sex at fifteen, sometimes with girls a year younger.  He had no grounds to give Evan shit.  Still, it was so weird.  Jules seemed like such a little girl.  Cerise was only two years older but she seemed so much more mature.  For the first time Terry wondered how old the chick he’d banged tonight had been.  He hadn’t even asked.  He’d just sort of assumed she was the age she looked, which was about eighteen, but maybe she was just a high school kid.  Some girls developed early.  Karine had fully developed breasts when she was just twelve. 

            Not for the first time, Terry thought about those early years of high school, when he and Karine had become really good friends.  When her father died and he’d comforted her.  He’d thought they’d get together but he didn’t want to push it, what with her grief and all.  And then Steve had swooped in and they were joined at the hip.  What if it had been him?  Well, maybe if he’d hooked up with Karine all those years ago it would have ruined their friendship.  Or maybe they’d still be together, which would mean that he’d never have hooked up with Cerise.  This thought saddened Terry so much that he resolved to make up with her as soon as possible.  He’d give in and give up his friendship with Andrew and everything would be ok.  So what if he was pussy-whipped?  It was worth it to be with her again.  Should he tell her about the girl he’d been with tonight?  No, best not to add fuel to the flame.

            Cerise and Tom were practically eating each other’s faces off.  It was pretty sick and totally hilarious.  Karine joined Cassie and Janice as they watched from across the room.

            “Way to go, Tom,” laughed Janice.

            “Oh my god, I’m so happy for him!  He’s been wanting this all semester.” squealed Cassie.

            “I dunno though.  Total rebound for her,” noted Karine, ever the voice of reason.

            “Not necessarily.  She and Terry have been broken up for like, a month.”

            “That’s like, nothing!” insisted Karine.

            “Oh come on,” drawled Janice.  “It’s a pretty long time.  I’ve never waited more than a week between boyfriends.”

            “Boyfriends?  They’re not called boyfriends unless you go out with them more than one time, Janice.”

            “You callin’ me a slut?”

            “No, just a whore.”

            “Ok then,” Janice cackled.

            “Anyway, Cerise isn’t like that.  She takes this kind of thing seriously.”

            “God, what-ev-er.  The girl has been funked out for ages.  She just needs to get laid and we all know it.”

            “That’s not how she is.  And like, her and Terry were together since high school.  And they’ve broken up before and gotten together again.  So it’s like, pretty major for her to hook up with someone else.  And that’s why you know, this might just be a rebound thing.  ‘Cause like, her and Terry are like, a thing.”

            “What is it, like a soap opera?” laughed Janice.

            “Pretty much,” admitted Karine.

            Cassie stepped in.  “Well her and Tom are kind of a thing too.  They like, always hang out together in class and like, outside of class too and she’s like, a total groupie for his little band and like, I dunno.  I think she might actually be into him.”

            “Hey, don’t get me wrong, I encourage it.  Her and Terry being together never leads to anything good.  It’s like, total progress for her to like, hook up with someone more her speed.”

            “They do kind of like, match,” nodded Janice.

            “Totally.  Way better than her and Terry,” said Karine, agreeing with herself.

            “Oh!  She’s spotted us!” Cassie squealed as Cerise looked up and blushed, realizing she was being watched.

            The three girls looked around nonchalantly but there was no looking away when Cerise took Tom’s hand and led him out of the room.  He seemed stunned, slack-jawed and tripping over his own feet as he followed her upstairs.  Karine, Janice and Cassie scrambled to watch them ascend the stairs without making it obvious that they were spying.

            “Oh my gosheroonies!  Someone’s hooking up!” laughed Janice, loudly enough that everyone in the vicinity looked over.

            “Eww, they’d better not go to my room,” grumbled Karine, eliciting giggles from the crowd that had since turned to watch Cerise and Tom disappear upstairs.

Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act II

            It was pretty sad how Tom kept leering at Cerise like he was a total perv and she was totally clueless.  She totally wasn’t clueless and totally knew that Tom was into her, mostly because Cassie made it clear.  Why didn’t they just hook up already and be done with it?  Cassie was getting totally sick of watching them play this stupid dance of not quite flirtation and whatever.  It was totally lame.  They weren’t kids anymore; they didn’t need to play games.  Cassie decided she might as well take matters into her own hands.

            “Would you stop staring at her and just ask her out already?”

            “What?” he whirled around, red faced.

            “Stop staring at her, Tom!  It’s creepy!”

            “I’m not staring!”

            “Every time she changes you ogle her like a dirty old man!”

            “No I don’t!”

            She looked at him gravely.

            “Ok well, come on!  I can’t help it!  It’s not my fault the dressing room is co-ed!”

            “It’s your fault you’re leering.”

            “But she’s hot and she’s right there… all in her underwear and stuff. I’m sorry!”

            He did seem kind of ashamed, or maybe that was just embarrassment.  God, guys were such losers.  Like Lee still hadn’t called.  Of course it had only been a day, but still. 

            “Whatever, Tom.  Just ask her out or let her take out a restraining order on you.  One or the other.”

            “Well she’s going to the cast party with me tonight.  That’s sort of a date, right?”

            “Oh, that was supposed to be a date?  ‘Cause she already asked me to come along with you guys.”

            “Oh.”

            “Is that ok?”

            “Yeah, of course,” he nodded sadly.

            “I’ll get out of your hair as soon as we get there.”

            “That’s ok, you don’t have to.”

            “It’s cool, Tom.  She likes you.”

            “Really?”

            “Sure, why not?” she shrugged, not entirely sure if it was true.  Cerise was rather non-committal about the whole thing.  She was clearly still into Terry, not that Cassie could blame her.  “Come on, let’s go strike the set.”

           

Cerise joined Tom and Cassie and a bunch of others as they worked to take down the set of a Tale of Two Shitties.  That’s what they’d taken to calling the production and it was even a little sad that the entire debacle was over. 

            “So me and Lee are going out,” Cassie said with a smile as she and Cerise carried a piece of plywood to the wings.

            “Oh yeah?”

            “Yeah, we went out last night.”

            “Oh, awesome.  How was it?”

            “Pretty good,” said Cassie with a giggle and a wink.

            Cerise took a moment to decipher Cassie’s meaning.  “Did you guys like, do it?”

            “Yeah,” Cassie giggled.  “I totally wasn’t planning to but you know how it is.”

            “I guess,” said Cerise half-heartedly. 

            “I know, I’m a total Janice.  But he was so sweet and he’s so hot and fuck, I’m horny!  I mean it’s been over a week since I broke up with Jonah.  I had to get laid!”

            The image of Cassie having sex with Jojo entered Cerise’s mind and she was startled by it.  It had never even occurred to her that those two had a sex life.  But apparently they did.  Jonah Cupryk, the biggest loser at BHS, a bigger nerd than all the guys, he wasn’t a virgin.  Cassie, just as old as the rest of them no doubt, but as tiny as a child, she wasn’t a virgin.  Janice, constantly keeping everyone appraised of how many guys (and girls) she was fucking; the number was already higher than Cerise’s amount of facebook friends. 

            Clearly Cerise was the only virgin left on the planet.  Why hadn’t she ever done it with Terry?  Because she hadn’t been ready?  Ready for what exactly?  Like it was such a big deal?  Everyone else was doing it all over the place, with people they’d just met, on first dates, just for the fun of it.  Why couldn’t Cerise just get over herself and get with the program?

            “But he hasn’t called,” Cassie pouted.

            “Well it’s only been a day.”

            “Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t worry.  But maybe I gave it up too fast, you know?  Maybe he thinks I’m a slut or something.”

            “This isn’t the ‘60s.  The virgin/whore thing…” Cerise trailed off.

            “Yeah I know.  We like to think it doesn’t exist anymore but it totally does.  I mean, everyone kind of makes fun of Janice behind her back, right?  I mean even we’ve done it.  Is there like an ok number of guys you can have sex with before you’re considered a slut?”

            “Is it ok to not have sex at all, or are you automatically a frigid prude?”

            There must have been something in Cerise’s tone when she asked because Cassie’s face registered realization.  “You’re a virgin?” she had the decency to whisper.

            Cerise nodded, ashamed.

            “Wow, I never would’ve guessed.  I mean, Terry.”

            “I know,” Cerise nodded.

            “I never would have thought…”

            “That a guy like that would put up with not getting it?”

            “Well… yeah.”

            “I know.  He was pretty awesome.”

            “Why’d you break up with him again?  Oh my god, did he cheat on you?”

            “No,” said Cerise, trying hard to remember why she was no longer with the best boyfriend ever. 

            “Ok is it just me or are we like, the only ones still here?” asked Tom, suddenly appearing out of nowhwere.

            Cassie looked annoyed but Cerise was glad for the change of subject.  She agreed that indeed, everyone had gone and they were pretty much the only ones left.  It was decided they would sneak off as well and head to the cast party.

            “Janice!  Get the fuck down from there right now! I’m serious!”

            If Janice fell off the roof of Karine’s house, it would definitely make this party legend but having to call an ambulance and shit was not Karine’s idea of a good time.  And the party was doing fine without Janice’s help.  Tons of people had shown up, not just the cast and crew, but their significant others, and some other randoms, including kids from Professional Theatre, who were a bunch of pretentious twats but still.  In spite of the good turnout, it kind of sucked to throw a party and not have a boyfriend.  Karine couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had that particular predicament.  Yes she could. It was last year when she’d briefly broken up with Steve.  But then they’d gotten back together at the party.  She wasn’t very good at being single.  She always felt so exposed when she was.  Like people were talking about her behind her back, wondering what was wrong with her if no guy wanted her.  She wondered herself what was wrong with her if Terry didn’t want her.  She had honestly believed he’d show up tonight but so far nothing. 

            “I’m the king of the fucking world!” Janice hollered from atop the roof. 

            She must have gotten up there by climbing out the bathroom window on the second floor.  Although how she’d fit through it was anyone’s guess.  Not that Janice was fat, but she had put on a few pounds recently and the window was pretty narrow.  It would be a serious piss off if she’d broken it in some way, like ripped the screen out or something.  It was such a pain to fix shit around the house without Steven around.  Terry helped sometimes but she hated to rely on him.  Playing Mr. Fix-it was a boyfriend’s role and Terry obviously didn’t want to be her boyfriend, the stupid jerk.

            Cerise and Cassie and Tom came along and stared up at the roof along with a bunch of others who were encouraging Janice to jump.  They formed a circle and claimed they’d catch her.  Oh god, and Janice was just dumb enough to try. 

            “Kiss my ass, world!” Janice yelled as she pulled down her jeans and mooned the crowd. 

            Everyone cheered.

            “She kind of has a blubbery ass, doesn’t she?” remarked Cassie.

            It was true, she totally did.  No wonder she was such a slut.  Probably overcompensating for low self-esteem or whatever. 

            She pulled up her pants and turned around, flashing her breasts.

            “Nice tits though,” smirked Tom.

            Cerise and Cassie turned to him and he smiled awkwardly. 

            “Not that I was looking.”  He whistled nonchalantly. 

            “Oh my god!” Cerise squealed as Janice jumped.

            All the kids who had formed the circle ran out of the way, not that they needed to because Janice landed nowhere near them.  She was sprawled on top of Karine and holy, goddamn hell, it hurt like a mother-fucker!

            “Oh fuck, if I wasn’t so stoned that would probably really hurt,” groaned Janice.

            “Well, I’m not stoned, you bitch and yeah, it really fucking hurts!”

            Cerise, Cassie and Tom rushed to Karine’s aid, trying to pull Janice off her, but Janice just cackled her stupid hyena laugh and kept lying there, spread eagle.

            “Get the fuck off me, you fucking cow!” Karine gasped for breath.

            “You saying I’m fat, bitch?”

            “Yes you’re fucking fat,” Karine raged.

            Cherry and her little friends managed to pull Janice up and she stumbled down again, rolling around on the grass and dead leaves.

            Karine stuggled to get up and said that no, she was certainly not ok, in response to Cherry’s concerned inquiry. 

            “Just ‘cause I ain’t no skinny little stick like you don’t mean I won’t cut you!” Janice slurred.

            “Janice, that little speech would be a lot less ridiculous if your pants weren’t down around your ankles.”

            Everyone laughed but it was small comfort to Karine, who might need to call that ambulance for herself.  She stumbled into the house, and grabbed a beer from the fridge, collapsing on a kitchen chair a second later.

            “Karine, are you ok?  I heard Janice like, fell on you!” said Peter as he ran into the kitchen.

            “Yeah, she fell off the roof,” Karine confirmed.

            “I can’t believe I missed that!”

            “I can’t believe she didn’t miss me.  I mean everyone ran but I just stood there, what the fuck, right?” Karine laughed and then groaned in agony. 

            “Where does it hurt?” asked Peter, sitting next to Karine and touching her shoulder delicately.

            “Fucking everywhere!”

            So maybe Janice wasn’t someone to aspire to be.  But there had to be a happy medium between freaknut sex addict and freaknut scaredy cat.  Cerise had to be more like Cassie.  She’d taken control of her life.  Found a guy she liked and then got him.  How come Cerise had never been able to do that?  How come she always ended up with the guy who liked her?  Always, as though she’d ever had more than one option.  Now her only option was Tom.  Cerise wondered if the only reason she was hesitant to get together with him was because he wanted her.  Maybe she was one of those messed up people who only wanted what they couldn’t have.

            Once the Janice drama was over, Cerise walked into the house with Cassie and Tom.  They all sat on a couch and a second later Cassie rather pointedly excused herself and Tom and Cerise were left alone.  She should give him a chance, not because he was the only guy who was interested but because he was a good guy.  He wasn’t that different from Jay really.

            “Can I get you a drink?” he asked.

            “No I’m good, I’ll grab some water when I get thirsty.”

            “Whoa!  Water, eh?  I hope you’re not planning on driving home tonight,” he laughed.

            “Well I don’t drink alcohol so, yeah.”

            “Oh, you don’t?” he asked awkwardly.

            “Nope.”

            “I didn’t know that.”

            “Now you do.”

            “Well I don’t really drink that much either.  Or at all really.  Do you want me to uh, do you want me to get you some water?”

            Cerise rolled her eyes.  She knew he drank, she’d seen him do it.  Why was he lying?  Was he trying to impress her?  Should she be impressed?

            “So is it like, is it like a lifestyle choice?  A health thing or like a…” he trailed off.

            “I dunno.  I guess I just don’t get it.  If your life is so crappy that you have to get drunk to enjoy it, maybe there’s something in your life that needs fixing.”

            “It must be tough around here.  Like Montreal I mean.  Everyone drinks.  Everyone smokes.”

            “I know, right?  So many smokers!  I hate smokers.”

            “I know, they’re gross,” Tom nodded enthusiastically.  Perhaps he’d heard that she’d broken up with Terry because he smoked.  Perhaps he smoked himself and was lying about it.  “I should do that, the whole straight edge thing.  But then it’d be hard to do the whole sex, drugs and rock n’ roll thing.  I mean, I’m gonna be a rockstar, you know that, right?” he said with an amusing wink.

            Cerise laughed.

            “Are you, I mean, if, I mean, are you like officially straight edge?  Like all the beliefs of that… thing?” he asked, seemingly nervous.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well ‘cause like, isn’t it a… aren’t they like… it’s like no drugs but also no sex, right?” he coughed, avoiding eye contact.

            She decided to let him squirm for a while and simply stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

            “’Cause then I’d have nothing left except the rock n’ roll and… well…”

            “And your guitar playing isn’t good enough to make up for the lack of sex and drugs,” she smirked.

            He laughed timidly.  “Yeah, I’m pretty bad.”

            “Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to join the cult or anything.”

             He nodded awkwardly and she let him flounder for a moment before adding that she wasn’t actually straight edge or anything official.  “I just don’t drink is all,” she shrugged.

            “Oh, ok,” he smiled.  “I don’t really drink much either.  Not really.”

            “I’m certainly not against sex,” she added with a smile.

            Was it her imagination or did he blush?  “Oh, yeah, no, I didn’t, I mean, yeah, no, right,” he stammered.

            “I mean how can you be against a natural biological function?”

            “Right, yeah.”

            “It’d be like being against the consumption of food, or being against going to the bathroom.”

            “Right!”

            “Of course, eating and pissing don’t typically lead to AIDS, but still.”

            “Right.”

            Was this flirting?  Was she flirting with Tom?  She couldn’t even tell.  She knew he was into her but did that mean a conversation that included the word sex was automatically flirtatious?  Was she leading him on by saying she wasn’t against it?  Was she maybe not leading him on, and genuinely interested in him?  She couldn’t be sure, but one thing was interesting, she felt completely comfortable with him.  With Jay she always had a butterfly in her stomach, even if they were just playing the game or talking about calculus, there was always an attraction.  And with Terry it was even more pronounced.  In the beginning he’d made her so nervous; he was so intimidating, so popular and good-looking, but more than that, with Terry there was always this heavy curtain of lust hanging over them.  But that wasn’t really a problem here.  Tom was totally cute and everything but she could take him or leave him.  And that gave her power, didn’t it?  She was in complete control of what happened next.

            “Yeah, so like, I’m not like into crazy like Janice level sex but I’m not a nun either,” Cerise smiled sweetly, just to see what would happen.

            Tom’s face flushed.  “Oh yeah, that’s good.  I mean, you know, not good, I mean, it’s not bad.  I mean, yeah, it’s uh... yeah.  That’s a good thing... I mean, not that it affects me in any way... it’s just... seems like a good attitude to have... and um... yeah.  Now is the time where I stop speaking.  And that’s… I am quiet now.”

            Cerise giggled and placed her hand on his leg.  She could actually hear his breath quickening, could practically see his heart racing.  It was so easy with Tom!  This was so much fun!

Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act I

            Not for the first time in his life, Jay wondered if he was particularly stupid.  He’d always thought of himself as being of above average intelligence but every so often there was evidence to the contrary.  Live theatre was one such example.  It totally sucked.  But wasn’t it supposed to be more high-brow than movies and TV?  Jay seriously didn’t get it.  He had never been able to focus during a live production and always ended up completely bored out of his mind.  Last year had been especially harsh since Karine’s play was Shakespeare, which was like double the torture.  Jay didn’t get Shakespeare at all.  He didn’t feel too bad about that, since Vani and Willy didn’t get it either.  Karl did but then again, maybe he didn’t.  Maybe he just pretended he did ‘cause it’s not like the rest of them could tell the difference anyway.  Jay often tuned out when Karl talked about non-game related stuff.

            In any case this year would hopefully be better because it wasn’t Shakespeare but Dickens wasn’t much better.  He’d had to read a Dickens’ book, he forgot which one, back in high school and it was totally boring.  He basically understood it, but it was a struggle.  So it’s not that Jay was dumb, it’s just that he had little patience for boredom and couldn’t really be expected to absorb the content if the context was like totally dullsville.  See, that was totally smart right there!  Can’t absorb the content for the context.  If the medium is lamo, then the message will be lost.  Jay smiled to himself, proud of this revelation.  He was totally the new… that guy there from the Canadian heritage commercial who said that famous quote.

            Jay stood in Casgrain that evening with Vani and Willy and Karl.  Lee hadn’t come because he wanted to see Cavity’s cast.  Tonight was Cerise’s cast, and Karine’s.  It was good they were in the same one ‘cause it would totally suck to have to see this shit-fest twice.   Not that it would necessarily suck, although obviously it would ‘cause both Karine and Cerise had said it was basically lamo.

            They looked over the poster board that carried photos of the cast when Sarah walked up and joined them. 

            “Hey,” she said to no one in particular.

            “Hey,” Jay and Vani and Willy said back.

            Karl stood motionless, completely ignoring her.  She ignored him right back.  Were they fighting or something?  Come to think of it, Sarah hadn’t been around much lately. 

            “So… think it’s gonna be a good play?” she asked casually.

            “Doubtful,” shrugged Vani.  “Cerise says it’s suckotronic.”

            “Yeah well…” Sarah trailed off.

            Karl suddenly walked away, just a few paces and stared out of one of the windows that looked down at the swimming pool below on the lower level of Casgrain.  Sarah made a throaty noise and then walked off in the opposite direction, joining some people she apparently knew but Jay didn’t.

            Vani looked at Jay quizzically and pointed his hands in the two directions their friends had gone.

            “So what the fuck?” asked Willy.

            “They broke up you guys,” said Jojo, appearing out of nowhere.

            “Jesus Christ, where the fuck did you come from?” yelped Willy.

            “I’ve been here the whole time,” said Jojo, scrunching up his face in what was either annoyance or confusion.

            “They broke up?” asked Vani, trying to get the conversation back on track.  “No wonder Karl has been in such a funk lately!”

            Willy snorted.  “He’s always in a funk!”

            “He’s been way more robotastic than usual these days though.”

            “So when did this happen?”

            “Last week, you guys!  They all went on a fucking dumping binge!”

            It was funny to hear Jojo swear.  It was funny to see him do anything outside of his Keebler elf tree.

            “Who’s they all?” asked Vani.

            “Hello?!” Jojo sang out, like it was obvious.  “First Cerise and then Cassie and then Sarah.  It’s like they all got together and decided to have a dumping party!”

            Willy sighed heavily.  “Jojo, why are you even here?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Why are you trying to hang out with us?!”

            “I think Willy is asking why you’re here to see Cassie’s show if she broke up with you,” asked Vani, softening Willy’s insult unnecessarily. 

            “I’m not gonna waste the ticket,” Jojo pouted.

            “Cerise and Cassie are double cast and Cerise is on tonight.  Why do you have a ticket in the first place?” asked Willy accusingly.

            “I have a ticket for every showing!”

            “Why?”

            “I wanted to be supportive, you guys!”

            “Wow, there’s a fine line between supportive and pathetic,” snorted Jay.

            “No there isn’t.  Even if they were still together this would still be straight up pathetic,” chortled Willy.

            “You guys are such assholes,” Jojo grumbled.

            “Stop saying you guys!  Man, Cavity was so right to dump your annoying ass!”

            “Shut up, Willy!”

            “Well he’s got a point, Jojo,” said Vani gently.  “It’s kinda sad to get a ticket to the shows she’s not even in.”

            “She’s still in the crowd scenes!”

            “Why not resell the tickets?  Or just accept the waste of money.  I mean you’re just torturing yourself, Jojo.” said Vani, still seemingly sympathetic to Jojo’s plight.

            “Are you guys ever gonna stop calling me Jojo?” he asked with a sigh.

            “No,” all three responded in unison.

            Terry Trebiwhyisheevenheresky strolled up at that moment, glowering.  He positioned himself in front of the poster board and stared at it.

            “See!” Jojo exclaimed.  “Terry’s here and him and Cerise broke up.  But he came anyway.”

            Terry Tryingtobeintimidatingandtotallyfailingwellokprettymuchsucceedingsky slowly turned to them, still glowering.  “I’m here for Karine,” he said, walking off a moment later and smiling at Sarah, walking into the theatre with her.

            The rest of them followed, even Karl.

            Thank god for Karine.  Thank god he had a reason to be here.  Even the guys thought it was pathetic to show up to his ex-girlfriend’s play.  As pathetic as Jojo Cupryk.  Terry knew he would have shown up even if it wasn’t for Karine.  He might even come to another showing.  Any excuse to see Cerise.  God, he really was pathetic, just as bad as her stalker, that fucking porta-potty loser.  Was she seriously still stalking her?  Well it was a good thing he just happened to swing by Cerise’s the other day.  Someone had to look out for her, protect her from that nut-job.  Terry wasn’t actually stalking Cerise himself.  Not really.  He just went to her place a couple times, just to make sure she got home ok after those late night rehearsals.  And so why had he come here tonight?  To make sure she got through the play ok?  Whatever, he was so seriously pathetic.  He hated that Cerise could do this to him; reduce him to such a fucking loser.  He needed to break away from her.  He needed to get his shit together. 

            And there she was, looking hilarious in a stupid boy outfit, delivering her one line, and not even delivering it particularly well.  But looking so fucking adorable all the same.  Almost snickering as she said her line, hopping off the stage almost mockingly, her tight ass hugged beautiful by those tight little boy pants.  How the hell was Terry supposed to forget about her when she kept on being so incredibly fucking cute? 

            “Well I thought it went well,” chirped Cassie.

            “Yeah, it was fine,” nodded Cerise.

            They sat with Tom at the Munch Box, eating their daily poutines.  Cerise was definitely going to need to cut down on the junk food.  Her costume had barely fit the night before.  Most people get fat when they get comfortable in a relationship, but she was getting fat now that she was single again.  Now she’d never get a boyfriend.  Except for Tom she supposed.  He was telling her she’d been great, and she returned the compliment without considering if it was true.

            “I can’t wait for my turn tonight!” Cassie giggled.

            “Yeah, it was pretty fun even if we have shit to do,” agreed Cerise.  She appreciated Cassie’s enthusiasm and had to admit that the performance actually had been decently amusing.

            “Oh there’s Lee!” Cassie tittered nervously.

            “Lee?  Is that the guy you’re into?”

            “Yeah, isn’t he hot?”

            Was he?  Cerise regarded him as he stood in line.  Cassie jumped up and joined him and they stood there talking, he staring down at her coolly, she giggling and jumping up and down.

            “Do girls really go for that type?” asked Tom, seemingly as confused as she.

            “What type?”

            “The weird facial hair and psychotic shifty eyes type.”

            Cerise laughed.  It was a genuine laugh and she was pleased to be truly amused by something Tom said.  She was glad anytime he showed himself to be appropriate boyfriend material because she was thinking more and more about elevating him to that status.  “Some girls I guess,” she replied.  “Not me though.”

            “No?”

            “Nah, I prefer guys who are as nerdy as I am.”

           

            Oh puke!  Cerise was all laughing and smiling and shit and that fucking skinny-ass nerd guy was totally drooling all over her, looking down her shirt every two seconds, leaning in to her to talk.  Terry’s hands got sore and he realized he’d been holding them in fists.  Well fuck them both!  Fuck Cerise for moving on so quickly and so easily and fuck that nerd guy for being such a fucking nerd!  Fuck!!!!

            Terry pulled himself together and walked outside just as he received a text from Karine, beckoning him to the back door outside Casgrain.  He joined her there and shared her cigarette as she admonished him for not having said anything.

            “About what?”

            “The play!”

            “Oh yeah, right.  It was good.  You were really good.”

            “Thanks so much,” she sighed, rolling her eyes, clearly aware that he hadn’t been paying attention during the production.

            “No seriously, you were really good,” he said, pretty sure it wasn’t a lie.

            “I know it’s a boring play.”

            “Well you were really pretty in that pink dress.”  This was definitely true.

            “Thanks.  Closing night is Saturday.  Do you wanna come to the cast party?  It’s at my place.”

            He sort of shrugged, trying to indicate that he wasn’t sure.  He knew Cerise would be there and he desperately wanted to be there too but wouldn’t she be there with that stupid nerd guy from stupid Theatre Workshop?  That was maybe just a bit too much torture even for Terry.

            “Come on, it’ll be fun.  It’s a big house, you don’t have to cross paths with Cerise if you don’t want to.”

            “Well I mean, do you think I should though?  I mean, do you think she’d be willing to like, talk to me?  Maybe enough time has passed.  Maybe we can work things out.”
            “Whatever, Terry.  I have class.”  Karine walked off without another word.

            Well fuck her too then!  Terry definitely wasn’t going to go to that fucking party!  Not if Cerise was gonna be there!  Well, maybe just for a little bit.  Just to make sure she wasn’t making out with that nerd guy.  No!  What was he thinking?  What if she was making out with him?  What would he do then?  There was nothing he could do so he might as well spare himself the pain.  He took out his phone and sent a text off to Andrew, making plans for that night.  He would get drunk and he’d get laid by some random hot chick and that’s all there was to it.

            So it was completely random and not at all on purpose that he ended up in Hochelaga sort of eavesdropping on Cerise talking to that spaz muffin Jason Harris and his spasmodic hair of spazitude.  He was just walking past to get to class, honestly, when he saw her walking towards Jay stupid hairris and sitting next to him on the ground and talking to him and cheering him up when he complained about how he was doing really shitty in calculus and he had an exam coming up in like two seconds.  She seemed pretty incredulous that he was only starting to study now and he admitted to being a loser.  Hah!  Terry could have told him that years ago.  Jay said how it didn’t matter, even if he studied like crazy he’d never get it ‘cause he was no Wesley Crusher and Terry wasn’t really sure who that was but Cerise seemed to think it was no one to aspire to be.  Jay said this Crusher guy’s twitter was pretty interesting and Cerise confessed to not being so into twitter.  Jay made fun of Cerise for being a luddite and Terry wasn’t sure what that was but Cerise seemed to think it was a pretty good joke and sarcastically admitted to being one.

            What?!  So gross!  Why was he touching her neck?  He was saying stuff about charging up and needing a plug-in and Terry didn’t even know.  Why was Cerise letting him touch her like that?  So nasty.  Only Terry could… he caught himself.  Was he really stalking his ex-girlfriend, getting all jealous ‘cause she was hanging out with some stupid guy who was so clueless he’d never be able to maintain an erection for more than two seconds anyway?  Cerise could hang out with whoever she wanted, Terry didn’t give a shit.  She could even fuck around with whoever… and now that stupid Tom guy was joining the party?  What, was it gonna be some sort of orgy or something?  Cerise and a bunch of losers?  Jay and Tom and Porta-potty chick and Wesley Crusher all going down on her and shit?  Ugh!  Terry seriously had to get himself together. 

            Cerise walked off with that stupid Tom guy and Terry knew he should walk away but he didn’t.  He found himself walking up to Jay, who was standing up and putting his books away.

            “Hey,” said Terry icily.

            Jay looked up at him and froze, obviously intimidated.  “Uh hey,” he stammered, looking majorly uncomfortable.

            Terry just stood there, staring down at him, not smiling, not smirking, not anything, just staring.  Jay was unable to maintain eye contact.  He kept looking around, his eyes coming back to Terry’s face every so often and then looking away in fear.  Beads of sweat began forming on his forehead. 

            “I have an exam,” he finally whispered and hugging his books to his chest, he crept away, shoulders hunched.

            What a fucking loser.

Season 2 – Episode 6 - Prologue

        It was ridiculous to be here.  What would happen?  Would she suddenly decide they were perfect for each other?  That they had to be together after all?  There she was, right on schedule, walking home from school, from the 211 bus, now that she was no longer being dropped off.  She looked beautiful as always.  Her blonde hair poking out from under a hat, one of those ones made to look like an olden days hat, like from the ‘20s or whatever.  She had a scarf on too, and gloves even though it wasn’t really that cold, although it was getting colder as the evening progressed and the sky darkened.  But Cerise had always been a bit sensitive to the cold, probably because she was a girl, small and dainty like girls are supposed to be. Her cheeks were red, flushed from the chill.  But her cheeks were always red, weren’t they?  She didn’t wear makeup, she was naturally rosy.  Naturally beautiful, vibrant and present, so alive, so vital.  Her eyes so bright, her skin so smooth. 

            She walked across her lawn, feet shuffling the leaves on the grass.  Cerise had always enjoyed fall, had always loved stepping on crinkled, dead leaves and hearing that satisfying crunch underfoot.  She got to her front door and fumbled in her backpack, presumably searching for her keys.  She found them and unlocked the door; opened it but then paused.  She looked around, perhaps sensing she was being watched? 

            The voyeur ducked behind a tree and was ashamed.  Because truly this was stalking.  This was taking what was once a real relationship with Cerise and twisting it into something perverted.  Something that would scare her.  But it was so hard to resist.  How was one expected to go through life without Cerise?  She who could light up a room just by entering it. She was a bitch, sure, but wasn’t that sort of part of her charm?

            And it had been so long since she’d seen her.  Shauna just needed to know that Cerise was still ok.  So fine, she was stalker, a freak, just as everyone had accused her of being back in high school.  Hopefully Cerise hadn’t noticed her watching.

In her fear Shauna forgot she had a cigarette in her mouth and it fell to the ground.  She looked down at it, wondering if she should leave it there or hide the evidence.  Looking back up she gasped, almost jumping out of her skin.  At the next tree over was Cerise’s boyfriend, looking just as shocked as Shauna felt.  He too had a cigarette dangling from his mouth and he too lost it as his jaw went slack.  It was getting pretty dark out but there was no mistaking him, it was definitely that Terry whatever guy, looking guilty, looking stunned.  His eyes darted around.  He poked out from his hiding place, for clearly he was hiding just as much as she, and looked towards Cerise’s house.  Shauna looked too.  Cerise was gone. 

            They stared at each other for another moment and then he ran off.  It wasn’t a walk or a jog; it was a sprint towards a bike parked nearby.  He jumped on it and rode away before Shauna could even process the situation.

            Would he tell Cerise that Porta-potty chick had been watching her house?  Why hadn’t he simply gone into her house?  Shauna was slow to put it together but her neurons eventually fired and she realized they’d broken up.  Hence her walking home from school instead of being dropped off.  Was this guy seriously coming to her house anyway just to watch her come home on her own?  How lame was that?  Sure, Shauna was sort of doing the same thing but at least she was coming from a different direction.  At least she didn’t have the opportunity to see Cerise every day at school.  For the first time Shauna regretted not going to school anymore.  Sure school was hell but at least it was full of distractions.  She had way too much time to think these days. 

            Just to be safe, she picked up her cigarette butt and relit it, putting it back between her lips.  She walked past the guy’s cig butt and picked that one up as well.  Not to hide his evidence but to keep for later.  No use wasting a perfectly good cigarette.