Friday, April 26, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 10 – Act V

            All the second-years huddled in a circle in Karine’s living room, hugging and jumping up and down, singing My Inner Ninja.  It was the end of an era.  Their last play together.  Karine was going to miss these guys so much!
            “Oh my god, you guys!” wept Cassie.
            “I know!” wailed Janice.
            “I’m gonna miss you guys!” said Laura, and Karine hugged her even though she was a total bitch.  But still, she was gonna miss this bitch!
            “What’s the drama?  Why’s everyone freaking out?”
            Karine turned to see Christina standing behind her, holding a beer and munching on a pretzel.
            “Oh my god, Chrissy!  It was our last play!  Everything’s over!”
            “Ok,” said Christina as they hugged.  “So is Terry here?”
            “So you broke up with Paul?” asked Cerise in concern.
            She and Sarah were sitting on the couch in the den, eating popcorn.  Cerise was feeling much better now that she’d taken a shower and was resting with a hot water bottle behind her back. 
            “Yeah, I just couldn’t deal with him having no ambition,” nodded Sarah.  “Maybe that makes me a snob but there you have it.”
            “Even if it does make you a snob, so what?  You’re an ambitious person, it only makes sense that you should be with someone equally ambitious.”
            “Yeah!  That’s what was so great about Karl.  Even though he acted like he didn’t care about anything he was still really ambitious.  He was going places, you know?  Like, PhD, Post-Doc, everything.  He’ll probably win a Nobel Prize someday.”
            “God, I don’t even wanna go for a Masters. Or a Bachelors even!” moaned Cerise.
            “Oh come on,” said Sarah with doubt.
            “I just, I dunno.  I feel like I have no path,” shrugged Cerise.  “You and Karl, and even Karine, it’s so clear.  You know what you wanna do.  I have no idea.  I’m gonna take English Lit but then what?  I mean, to what end?  And do I even wanna do that?  I’m not well read, Sarah!  Everyone thinks I’m so smart because I’m into sci-fi and I don’t wear makeup but I’m not that smart, I’m just ordinary.  If Paul isn’t ambitious enough for you, then I’m not either!”
            “Cerise, you’re plenty smart.  You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
            “I don’t wanna go to school.  I don’t wanna read books and write papers.  I just wanna sit around and watch TV.”
            “That’s not true,” countered Sarah.  “You’re just upset ‘cause you’re all bloated or whatever.  And ‘cause you’re not with Terry or Jay so you’re just feeling down on yourself.”
            “Maybe,” shrugged Cerise.  “Maybe I just need a change of pace for a while.  Maybe I should go see my dad in Quebec City.  Like just for the summer or whatever.  Or even just for a few weeks.”
            “Yeah, if your whole point in life is to be as bored as possible,” said Simone, entering the room with a tray of hot chocolate. Simone set down the tray and they each took a mug.  “Actually, Cerise,” Simone went on.  “I was thinking.  You know how I’ve been itching to move out?”
            Cerise nodded and turned to Sarah.  “Simone wants to move downtown so she can be closer to school.”
            “I’m in Fine Arts at Concordia.”
            “Oh, I hear it’s a really good program,” said Sarah as she scooped up a mini marshmallow with her tongue.
            “It has its moments,” shrugged Simone.  “Actually, it’s kinda lame.  I mean, I like the work but the people drive me crazy.  I mean I know it’s hypocritical ‘cause I’m a bit of a scenester myself, I dunno, straddling the line between goth and hipster but artists, fuck, they’re crazy!  If ever I thought I had any neuroses, that idea wiped away when I met these people.  They are whacked in the head!  The most pretentious, self-important, neurotic, but like, fake neurotic, all making up reasons to be upset.  Fuck!  I hate them!”
            Cerise and Sarah giggled as Simone described a few of her classmates. 
            “Is it so bad that you’d wanna switch programs?” asked Sarah.
            “Nah, I’m already two thirds done.  I’ll see it through and then, fuck, go work at McDonald’s or something, ‘cause that’s how much my degree will be worth.  But anyway, I’m sick of the commute.  Living in the West Island is total bullshit.  I’m totally gonna move downtown, I’ve already talked to dad about it and he’s gonna help out with rent and shit, but he thinks I should get a roommate ‘cause you know, it’s cheaper, but like, I’m not gonna live with those fuckers in my program!  So like, why don’t you move downtown with me?  I mean if you’re gonna be going to Concordia next year, it only makes sense.”
            “Oh my god, totally!” exclaimed Sarah.  “That would be so cool, Cerise!  If you lived downtown, and then if I was going to McGill we could hang out between classes!”
            Cerise nodded.  It was indeed a good idea.  She hadn’t even thought about moving out of the house, but it did make sense.  Simone complained about the long commute downtown all the time, how it was such a pain in the ass to take the train every day.  Cerise figured she’d use the travel time to do homework but to actually be living downtown would be super cool!  “Oh my god, we so have to do this!”
            “What?” shrieked Julie, popping up out of nowhere.  “You guys would just move out and leave me here all alone?”
            “Well, yeah,” shrugged Simone.
            “Julie, you complain about us all the time.  If we moved out you’d have the place all to yourself.”
            “You mean myself and Mom!  That would suck, she’d ride me more than ever!”
            “God, Julie,” drawled Simone.  “Mom is so mild compared to normal moms.  She doesn’t ride us at all.  The worst thing she does is go out with that toolshed, Andre.”
            “Like that’s not enough reason to move out of this hell-hole?!” Julie whined.  “I could move with you guys, and go to a CEGEP downtown!”
            “You’re not old enough to move out,” said Cerise.  “I mean I’m not sure I’m even old enough.”
            “I’m almost seventeen!” insisted Julie.  “That’s like way old!”
            “I am sixteen, going on seventeen,” Cerise sang.  “Ever since I did Sound of Music I always get that song stuck in my head.  It so sucks that Theatre Workshop is over!  And that my last play had to be so shitty!  Sarah, it’s getting late, don’t you wanna go to the cast party?  Everyone’s there.”
            Sarah shrugged and sipped her hot chocolate as Julie exploded and ran out of the room.  “Mom!  Simone and Cerise wanna move out together!”

            “So are we going in?” asked Willy.  “We can easily just walk in, you know.”
            They all stood outside the door to Karine’s house, under the porch roof.  At first they’d been standing on the street next to Jay’s mom’s car, but then it started to rain so they went up to the house.  But they hadn’t walked in yet.  Didn’t seem prudent. 
            “Karine’s probably so drunk by now that she won’t even notice,” said Karl.
            “You think?” asked Jay.
            “Let’s just go in!” shrieked Vani.  And with that he opened the door and flew inside, in the least discreet way possible.
            Karl shook his head in dismay but followed Vani, and then Willy followed Karl and Jay followed him.  They shook off their wet shoes and strode into the house, nodding at random people they didn’t even know, trying to act casual. As they entered the living room they were immediately confronted with Terry Trebitallsky and his man-bitch, Nick Morgay.  All it took was an eyebrow raise from those roughnecks and they all turned around and walked back out of the house and reconvened on the porch. 
            “So gaming then?” suggested Karl.
            “Check,” said Vani, actually tracing an invisible checkmark in the air with his little hand.
            So they got back in Jay’s car and went to Jay’s house.

            Oh god.  Terry reached out and gripped Nick’s arm.  “Brace yourself,” he hissed, as Christina bounced up to them.
            “Hey guys!” she smiled.
            “Hey, Chrissy,” Terry smiled back with gritted teeth.
            “Hey, girl,” Nick said, leaning down and giving Christina a double cheek kiss like they were all old and sophisticated and shit. 
“So I hear you broke up with Cerise,” she said. 
Wow, she certainly wasn’t gonna waste time.  In a way he admired that.  You had to give her credit for knowing what she wanted, and for being focused and persistent.  Shit, was he like crazy horny or something?  Why wasn’t he immediately repelled by Christina?  Usually he couldn’t stand her.  But it was probably unfair of him to rag on her so much.  She was a nice girl and she’d never done anything to hurt him.  All she’d ever done was like him and her worst crime was being too nice.  Poor girl.
“Listen, Chrissy, I never really apologized to you, you know, for all that shit I did to you back in high school,” Terry said.
“Oh,” she said, stunned.
“I mean, I did some shitty things.  I know that.  I was a dick.”
“Oh,” she said again, as Nick watched with interest.
“So sorry.  I never meant to hurt you.  I was just a stupid kid.  But you deserved better.  You still do.  I mean, you should be with someone who respects you.  Someone who will, you know, value you or whatever?”  He finished the comment like it was a question, like he wasn’t even sure what he was getting at. 
Was he trying to butter her up so he could hit that again, or was he being sincere?  In a way, Chrissy didn’t really deserve to be with someone who would treat her right because she didn’t treat herself right.  Whoa, that was some insightful shit right there.  But it was true.  Chrissy let herself be dogged, so why not dog her?  But no, Terry had to rise above that shit.  He had to be a good guy, ‘cause he didn’t want to be with a chick who was into bad boys.  He wanted someone who would challenge him, who would fight back, who would demand respect.  Is that what he was trying to get Chrissy to do?  To be stronger, so they could be together?  She was undeniably hot.  He’d totally be into her if she just changed her entire personality.
“Well, yeah, that’s ok,” she smiled happily, giggling like he’d said something funny.  “So like, you want a beer?”
“Um, yeah, I guess,” he shrugged.
She announced she’d go get him one and skipped off to the kitchen.
“I don’t think what you said really sunk in,” mused Nick.
“Yeah, fuck, she really is a moron, isn’t she?” Terry said sadly.  “I don’t wanna take advantage of her but fuck, she makes it so easy.”
Before Nick could respond, Christina was back with three beers.  She gave one to each of them and then asked about hockey, stroking Terry’s arms, asking if he was still working out.  He flexed when she touched him.  Shit, he was gonna fuck her tonight, wasn’t he?

“Roll off, roll off, roll off!” the guys sang as they threw down their dice.
“Ooh, I suck,” whined Vani as he saw his die land on a two.
“Must be Jay’s influence,” snickered Willy.
“Yeah, maybe you should go sit in the corner, Jay.  To repent for your wrongdoings,” suggested Karl.
“But I’m the one who fucking won the roll off!”
“Whoa! Calm down!” instructed Karl.
“Shit, are you back to being Motor-Control Boy?” asked Vani with concern.
“He was never not Motor-Control Boy,” snorted Willy as he inhaled a bag of Doritos.
“Stop fucking blaming me for everything,” Jay said calmly, taking a deep breath and going on.  “People hating us isn’t my fault.  At least not entirely.  Willy, you’re the one who’s always shit-disturbing.  And you guys going along with it doesn’t help.”
“It’s you everyone hates,” countered Willy.  “We’re just innocent bystanders caught in the cross fire.”
“It’s true, Jay Jonah Jameson,” nodded Vani.  “You broke up with Cerise, so she hates you.  You broke up with Cerise, so Terry hates you.  You broke up with Cerise, so Karine hates you.”
“That’s why Karine hates me?” Jay asked sincerely.  “Why would Karine care if I broke up with Cerise?”
“That’s actually a really good point,” said Karl.  “Karine never cares about other people.  She’s as cold as we are.  Less rational certainly but still, it’s not characteristic for her to hate you just ‘cause Cerise does.  I mean I would have thought that’d actually make her like you more.”
“She said she never even liked you, Harris,” said Vani.  “Those were her exact words when she cock-slapped you.  Maybe Cerise like, blames Karine for you dumping her and so now Karine is pissed ‘cause Cerise hates her so she’s hating you.”
“But why would Karine care if Cerise hates her?” asked Jay.
“She cares,” said Vani. “She’s female and she fancies herself Queen Bee.  She wants to be the top of the female pyramid, so like, another chick hating her threatens her power.  So like, she’s all hating you to maintain her position as top of the pops.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” nodded Karl.
“I’m so good at analyzing the female psyche, seriously I should be a psychologist, or like a serial killer,” said Vani, as they all nodded in agreement.
“Ok, so you’re onboard the Cardassian ship,” said Karl, beginning the game.  “An ensign says to follow him to the negotiation room.” 
“Maybe it’s ‘cause I told Cerise,” suggested Willy.
“Huh?” they all turned to him.  “Told her what?”
“The truth.”
“About cats and dogs?” asked Vani.
“I told Cerise about the ultimatum and how Jay chose Karine over her.”
“You what?” asked Jay, forgetting to keep his tone calm.
Karl burst into laughter.  “That’s awesome.”
“Hilarious indeed,” said Vani.  “But also misguided.  No wonder the chicks fucking hate us!  Are you insane?  You can’t tell people about the shit we do.  They don’t get it.”
“Oh man, that’s awesome,” snickered Karl.  “No wonder everyone hates us!  Cerise must have freaked on Karine so she got all pissed and, it all comes together.  Willy, you wacktard!  You’re so priceless!”
“I just told the truth.  I mean, why not?”
“You told a truth that was never meant to be told.  You violated the code, the like, bro code or whatever,” said Vani.
“See?” exclaimed Jay.  “The code!  The unwritten rules!  The unspoken dibs!  Everything is your fault, Willy!  You’re the one who’s always stirring up the shit and fucking everything up!”
“Yeah, I gotta say, Willy.  Masterfully done,” snickered Karl.  “You really fucked shit up good.  I mean you’re so incredibly fucking malevolent, it actually has to be admired.”
Jay didn’t admire it but was trying hard not to lose his shit.
  Karl went on.  “But you do it on purpose, don’t you?  You’re such a fucking shit-disturber.  You love the drama.”
“You just want everyone to be as miserable as you!” said Jay.  “You fucking hated that I had a girlfriend so you fucking ruined it ‘cause you can’t fucking handle the fact that you’re a fucking chick repellant!”
Willy simply shrugged and smirked.
“I fucking hate you!” yelled Jay, jumping up and body slamming Willy.  And he wasn’t joking either.  At this moment he seriously wanted Willy dead.
“And they’re off!” announced Vani.  “Motor-Control Boy came in with a deadly body slam but not to be outdone, Willy the Destroyer is aiming his butt in Jay’s face, armed with much gas.  And yes, it is a stinker!  People in China can smell the emissions.”
“Ok, hang on,” said Karl.  “Let me just get out my iphone.  Ok, I’m recording, carry on.”
“Whoa!  A punch to the face!  To the face!” Vani laughed.  “Motor-Control Boy is playing for keeps and seems to have injured his hand, but it was evidently worth it, as Willy’s nose appears to be bleeding.”
Jay didn’t care that his hand felt like it had been run over by a truck.  He was going to kill William Watts if it was the last thing he ever did.

Were they fucking serious!?  Fuck both of them!  Christina totally swore that she was gonna take a break from guys and Terry, well Terry… shit seriously?
Karine couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  Christina and Terry, sitting on a couch, practically intertwined.  She scanned the room for Nick, but he was talking to some randos.  How could he leave Terry with Chrissy?  Didn’t he know that Terry would only hurt her again?  Hadn’t Terry moved beyond all this bullshit?  Couldn’t Chrissy ever develop any self-respect? 
Karine would never do that.  Even though she liked Terry, she knew he was a player.  She’d never hook up with him if she didn’t think it was for real.  But Chrissy did think it was for real, didn’t she?  ‘Cause that’s how fucking stupid she was.
Sighing audibly, Karine walked back towards the kitchen, only to stop in the hallway when she heard her name. 
“She must have been a good lay though,” said that guy who played some rando in the play.  She could never remember his name.
“She was ok on the normal shit,” said Brady.  “But she wasn’t into anything even a bit kinky.”
Karine poked her head into the kitchen, just to see how many people Brady was saying this shit to and to her horror she saw a massive group of guys hanging on to his every word.
“She got all frigid and shit.”
“Karine, seriously?  I never woulda figured her for a prude.  She dresses so hot.  And she hangs out with Janice.”
“I know but it’s all an act.  She’s a total prude.  Can’t fucking suck dick right, just fucking lies there when you fuck her.  Fucking freaked at the idea of anal!”
“Oh yeah?  What a fucking bitch!”
“Totally,” Brady confirmed.  “She was like a fucking nun.  So I was like, fuck that shit.  I don’t care how fucking hot you are, I’m fucking done.  Now I’m with Marise and like, yeah, she’s kinda fat, but she sucks dick like you wouldn’t believe.  She swallows, she takes it up the ass, like, you can go ass to mouth, it’s fucking sick.  She’s a total whore.”
They all laughed and she couldn’t hear what they said next, but she’d heard enough anyway. 

Well, so this was happening, thought Terry as he led Christina upstairs.  He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but what the hell?  They got to Karine’s bedroom but the door was closed, which was fine ‘cause he didn’t want to do it in there anyway.  They walked to the little sewing room, and closed the door behind them.  Christina didn’t waste any time.  She ripped off her clothes in an instant and then disrobed Terry.  Wow, she was eager.  That’s what he’d always liked about her.  She really knew how to get it done.

Wow.  Had Cerise just decided to go live downtown with Simone?  It seemed they’d made a solid plan and as long as the ‘rents agreed everything was good to go.  They just needed to find a place and of course, Cerise needed to get a job.  She couldn’t do what she’d done last summer, when she’d toured around with that stupid band just to break even.  She needed to make serious money. 
Maybe this was all too much.  Maybe she should stay at home for another year, just to build up some cash.  She didn’t want the pressure of rent and utilities hanging over her head while she was trying to endure a program she had only limited interest in.  Cerise wasn’t looking forward to University at all.  There was Sarah, looking so excited to start the next chapter, and there was Simone, who’d almost completed it, but Cerise felt stuck.  She knew she had to go forward, this is what everyone did, but this path wasn’t appealing.  Not that she had any alternatives in mind.  Oh well, she supposed she’d just go with the flow, like she always did. 
Jay sat on the floor panting, as Willy sat across from him, equally exhausted.  If either of them had been in better shape, they might have done some serious damage.  As it was, they’d punched each other a couple times, and there would surely be bruises tomorrow, but for now, they were done. 
Karl put away his iphone and suggested they get back to the game.  He and Vani played for a while but Willy and Jay ignored them. Why didn’t these assholes just get out of Jay’s house already?  Why did they even keep coming over all the time?  He was so done with all of them. 
Finally they seemed to take the hint, and Karl and Vani dragged Willy out of the house, thanking Jay for the entertaining evening as they went. 
Fucking assholes.  They could all go die for all he cared. 

Karine closed the door to her bedroom and took off her clothes, changing into her flannel pajamas.  She crawled into bed and put in her ear buds, cranking up her music to drown out the noise of the party downstairs.  Fuck Brady and fuck all his friends and fuck everyone.  They only had a few weeks left of this semester and then she’d be free of all this bullshit. 
Next year would be better.  She’d be in a professional program, with people like her and she’d stay away from assholes.  She’d stay away from all guys.  She wouldn’t date at all.  Fuck Terry and fuck Christina!  She didn’t need either of them.  She didn’t need anyone!

They’d been driving around for hours, with no destination in mind but finally Shauna couldn’t put off going home any longer.  Leanne dropped her off and grabbed her hand before she could get out of the car.
“Anytime you need to talk, you call me.”
“I will.”
“There are places you can go, Shauna.  Shelters.   If it gets too bad.”
“Seriously.  There are options.  I mean, you could always move in with me.  My parents are totally chill.  There’s not a lot of room, and we already have two people staying with us, and one of them has mental health issues, well, both of them do kinda.  But still, you could stay in my room.  We could make it work.”
Shauna appreciated the suggestion, and she was even considering it, but for now, she had to go home.  She nodded and got out of the car and went up to her house, and walked up the stairs, and went into her bedroom.  You were supposed to feel safe in your own home, weren’t you?  But Shauna didn’t.  She never had.  There was nothing safe about this house.  She needed a plan.  A solid plan.  She needed to do something with her life.  She needed to quit school, ‘cause nothing was happening there anyway, and get a job, so she could get her own place.  Maybe she could go back to Cerise’s mom’s bookstore.  Or go to another bookstore, now that she had experience.  Or maybe she should just kill herself.  That would be so much easier.

Oh god, what the fuck had Terry just done?  He lay on the couch, stark naked, with Christina’s tiny, equally naked body lying on top of him.  The way she was breathing he figured she had to be asleep.  Wasn’t it a guy thing to fall asleep after sex?  Why was Chrissy all blissful while he was wide awake, full of regret for what he’d just done? Fuck, should he just push her off?  Gently nudge her awake?
Oh fuck it.  He made his bed, now he had to lie in it.  He’d just make Chrissy his girlfriend.  That’s what she wanted, might as well make someone happy. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 10 – Act IV

            “So what the fuck, dude?!” said Nick as he joined Terry at their locker.
            “What?” asked Terry, still groggy from staying up too late.  It always sucked to go back to school after a long weekend.
            “Forcing me to pick up Karine the other night?”
            Terry laughed boisterously.  “What, you actually went?  Man, you are so pussy-whipped and you’re not even getting any pussy!”
            Karine joined them and asked what was funny, only to have Nick bitch her out for acting so spoiled and entitled.
            “Well shit, you didn’t have to come,” she smiled sweetly.  “You could’ve just said no and we would’ve taken a cab.”
            “We?” asked Terry.
            “Christina was with me.”
            “Oh, how’s she doing?” he asked, not actually caring about the answer.
            “Fine I guess.  You know, she’s Chrissy.  Asked about you of course.”
            “Fuck, let’s not go down that road again,” Terry groaned.
            “You guys have history?” asked Nick.
            “Yeah, I’ve told you about her,” said Terry.  “She’s the one who was always like way too clingy.”
            “Right, right.  Good lay but not worth the trouble.”
            “So speaking of good lays,” said Karine with a smile.  “Have you gotten together with that guy from the bar?  You said you got some guy’s number, right?”
            “Meh, didn’t pan out,” shrugged Nick.
            “So let’s go out again,” she suggested.  “We can go back to that bar, or try another one.  I mean you guys could.  I’m swamped with play stuff.  We premiere tomorrow.”
            “Let’s just go to Cunningham’s or Annie’s,” sighed Nick. 
            “Seriously, you should be able to meet a cute gay dude around here,” nodded Terry.  “I mean you can’t be the only one, right?”
            “Oh, I think you just called Nick cute,” giggled Karine as Nick grinned.
            “Yeah, so, you wanna make out?” smirked Terry.
            Nick actually blushed, which was hilarious and Terry laughed out loud as Karine kept giggling. 
“Maybe you should try gayness.  You guys would make a super cute couple,” she suggested.
            “Yeah, might be easier.  Too bad I’m addicted to pussy,” sighed Terry.
            “Gross,” said Nick with an eye roll.
            “Ok, so speaking of gross, are you guys gonna come to the play?  I know I haven’t exactly been talking it up and yeah, it basically sucks, but still, you’re gonna come, right?  Come Saturday ‘cause that’s closing and I’ll be having a cast party after.”
            “Yeah sure, whatever,” said Terry as Nick shrugged.
            “Well don’t crush me with your enthusiasm or anything,” she grumbled.
            “Hey, we’re coming, ok, so chill,” said Terry.  Fuck, Karine was such a spoiled brat sometimes.

            “I think we should go to the play tonight,” said Jay as he joined the boys at the Munch Box.  “Or better yet, tomorrow.”
            “What play?” asked Karl.
            “Karine and Cerise’s play.  Tomorrow is closing.  I’ve been talking about it all week!”
            “Right, right, and we’ve been making fun of you for it,” nodded Vani. 
            “Hello?  We’ve been trying to think of a way to get back in with them.  Make them stop hating us!  The play is perfect.  We go to it, we clap or whatever and then we tag along to the cast party.  It’s gonna be at Karine’s.”
            “You’re a fool!” exclaimed Willy.  “What makes you think they’d even let us in?”
            “To the play?  We buy tickets!”
            “To the party, you moron.”
            “Well fuck, do you have a better suggestion?”
            “Much as it pains me to admit it, Jay’s suggestion is so far the most viable,” noted Karl.  “Although I reiterate my position that we should remain satisfied in our self-contained bubble of isolation and non-friendship with outsiders.”
            “God, stop being so Sheldon,” groaned Jay.  “My plan is genius.”
            “Your plan is… non-genius,” grumbled Willy.  “Yeah, I couldn’t come up with a better insult.  I’ll do better next time.”
            “We appreciate the effort all the same,” said Karl reassuringly.
            “Yeah, let’s go with Jay’s plan,” nodded Vani.  “We’ll call it the Vani plan.”
            Jay could do nothing but roll his eyes as the others agreed.

            Oh god, why now?  Why did it always have to come at the worst time?  Everything had been going so well.  They were killing it.  Cerise was killing it.  The play was still sort of boring and weird, but every time Cerise was on stage she got a laugh.  She was sarcastic and snarky and her repartee with Karine-Elaine was apparently hilarious.  Hugh and Fred had even complimented her on opening night, giving her more attention than even Karine! 
            But now, on closing night, because everything in life always had to suck, Cerise got her period.  She knew she should have renewed her pill prescription. But since her love life was non-existent and she was too busy, or perhaps lazy to go to the doctor’s she hadn’t renewed it.  She figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to skip it for a few months and then go back on it but no, even just one month without those hormones and her body went back to full on monster mode.  Getting her period was like getting gastro, and of course it would hit on closing night.
She got some Midol from Cassie and took two pills but the pain remained.  She was in full costume, and the cramps in her stomach could no longer be ignored.  They were literally half an hour from curtain and Cerise couldn’t take it anymore.  She ran from the green room, telling everyone she’d be back in a second and rushed to a bathroom she assumed would be empty.  Thank god it was.  She rushed to a stall and threw up, then washed her hands.  But no, that wasn’t it.  She had to go back to the stall and sit on the toilet.  Gripping her phone to watch the time, she cursed everything she could think of as her bowels emptied.  Sweat poured down her face as she shivered, her skin covered in goose bumps.  Twenty minutes ‘till curtain.  Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!  And to make matters worse, her costume consisted of a tight dress, which was now decorated with lovely pit stains. 
When she was done emptying her colon she left the stall and once again washed her face.  Nope, she wasn’t done.  Her stomach churned and she was back on the toilet.
    Fifteen minutes ‘till curtain.  Everyone was texting her.  Cassie, Karine, Janice.  She texted back that she was feeling sick.  But there wasn’t even anyone who could take her place.  Usually most roles were double cast but not Bernice.  It had originally been considered too small a role to bother double casting but now, with all her additions, she’d become one of the favourites.  God, why hadn’t she just renewed her fucking prescription?! 
    They’d have to go on without her.  She could miss the first scene.  It wasn’t entirely crucial for her to be there.  The plot wouldn’t be affected.  It just wouldn’t be as funny, that’s all.  Cassie or Tom or anyone could say her lines and it would be fine.  Just fine.
    Ok, fuck, get off this toilet!  Cerise stood up, cleaned herself up and put in a fresh tampon.  She washed her hands and used a paper towel to blot the sweat and runny makeup from her face, then ran back to the green room.
    “Help me!” she yelled as she rushed in.
    “Cerise, where the fuck,” everyone asked at once.  “You look like hell!”
    “I’m sick!  Please, fix my makeup!  Help!”
    Karine, Cassie and Janice dragged her into the dressing room.  They ripped her dress off and Karine put her in her own street clothes, jeans and a tight sweater.  The clothes were way too tight but that was appropriate for Bernice. 
    Cassie brushed her hair back and floofed it up while Karine wiped down her face, reapplying lipstick and blush.  Then they dragged her on stage and she sat at her place.  The curtain parted. 
Karine thought that Cerise would completely blow it, and there was even a part of her that hoped she might, but no, she kept it together.  She hit all her cues and delivered all her lines with as much sarcasm as ever, eliciting laughs each time.  She was a little sweatier than usual, which is to say she actually perspired for perhaps the first time in her life, but not to a degree the audience would notice. 
After the show, as they all spilled into the dressing room, congratulating each other, laughing and shouting with glee, Cerise collapsed into a chair and burst into tears.  Because of course tonight would continue to be all about her and her mystery illness.  She shook violently as everyone piled around her, rubbing her back, telling her she did a great job.  She took off her costume, thanking Karine for the clothes, which were now covered in sweat, though not stinky, which was also kind of annoying; Cerise didn’t even smell when she was sick?!  Then she put on her own clothes and picked up her things. 
“Is it ok if I don’t help you guys strike the set?  I’m so sorry but I just feel like shit.”
Everyone fell over themselves assuring her it was fine, that she’d been a real trooper, a real champion.  God, whatever, like she was the first person to ever perform while slightly ill?  Whatever! 

Terry stood outside the theatre with Nick and thought about going out for a cigarette as they waited for Karine.  But before he could even finish the thought, he saw Cerise’s family, her mom and both sisters, walking towards him. 
“Hi Ms. Simon, Simone, Jules,” he smiled.
“Hello, Terry.  You can still call me Angela,” she smiled brightly.
Simone and Jules said hey and Terry introduced Nick.  It risked being awkward but then Sarah came along, and they all chatted about how great the play was and how Cerise totally stole the show.  It was true, she’d been great.  Karine had been good too, but even though Cerise only had a few lines, they were all hilarious.  In fact, Terry wasn’t even really sure what the plot had been.  Karine was in love with the producer guy or something?  He wasn’t sure why, ‘cause he was such a douche, which was why it was all the funnier when Cerise was smarming all over him; she out douched the douche. 
“Speak of the devil,” said Simone, as Cerise joined them.
Holy shit, she looked spent.  They all congratulated her and told her how great she’d been and she smiled and thanked them happily but Terry could tell she wasn’t ok.  She’d been crying and they weren’t tears of joy.  She was paler than usual, even under all that stage makeup he could tell.  She was sick maybe, or perhaps just sleep deprived.  He wanted to reach out to her, to hug her, take her home, make her soup or whatever.  But she was leaving with her family.
“You’re not gonna go to the cast party?” asked Sarah in shock.
“I’m just not feeling well,” Cerise shrugged.  “I just wanna go home.”
“Oh, that sucks, are you ok?” asked Sarah.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.  Just my period is all.”
“But I thought…” Terry began but then stopped himself.  He knew that Cerise got really painful menstrual cramps but when she was on the birth control pill it wasn’t so bad; she didn’t get the nausea and diarrhea.  But he didn’t want to say all that out loud. 
As if sensing his thoughts she nodded.  “I stopped taking it, I’m an idiot.  God, it was so embarrassing.  I almost didn’t make curtain ‘cause I was busy puking in the bathroom.”
“Fucking brutal,” said Simone.
“Language,” clucked Angela.
“Sorry, fucking intense!”
“Hey, want me to come with?” asked Sarah.  “I mean, I can hang with you for a bit and hit the party after.”
“No, it’s fine, you don’t have to do that.”
They haggled for a while and Sarah left with Cerise and her family.  As they walked off, Cerise turned around and smiled at Terry, waving sheepishly.  He watched her go and waved back.  Nick smiled at him knowingly and he simply rolled his eyes and suggested they go out for a smoke.

“Missed your chance,” said Leanne.
“I didn’t wanna talk to her!” insisted Shauna, as she backed up against a wall.  It was annoying being in such a crowded place.  How come everyone was hanging around?  The play was over, shouldn’t everyone go home?
“It might be an idea at some point to tell her how you feel.”
Leanne shrugged.  “Well it probably wouldn’t do anything for your relationship with her but it would help you.  It’d be like this healing thing.  Like a cathartic thing.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it’d probably just make things even weirder with her,” shrugged Leanne.
“Exactly.  Can we fucking go now?”
“You don’t like crowds, eh?  Unless you’re drunk, I’ve noticed.”
“So let’s go drink then,” Shauna grumbled.
“God, you’re so pissy lately.  What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, ok?  God.”  Shauna hobbled away as best she could.
“Why are you walking all hunched all the time?  And since when is it your style to wear scarves?”
Shauna ignored her friend and tottered outside.  Once they were inside Leanne’s car, Leanne turned to her with a frown.
“What?” asked Shauna in irritation.
“You’re wincing.  What’s wrong?”
“You’ve been like this since Easter break.”
Leanne, quick as a flash, threw out her hand and poked Shauna in the stomach.  Shauna yelled and swatted her hand away.
“Show me!” Leanne insisted.  “Did those glue sniffing people beat you up again or something?”
“No, it was my brother.”  Shauna resigned herself and lifted up her hoodie and t-shirt to show the bruises on her ribs, faded but still present.  Then, she unwrapped the scarf from her neck and showed the bruises there.  These ones were almost gone, just a bit red.  She could stop wearing the scar and people might think she just had a hickey.  Yeah right.
Leanne became quiet and simply turned back to the wheel.  She started the car and they drove off. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 10 – Act III

            Karine couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had so much fun.  She was totally drunk, which was totally Christina’s fault, ‘cause like Chrissy was like totally making her match her drink for drink and they were dancing and having the best time!  The bar was totally packed, which could be annoying with all these guys trying to feel her up and stuff but she didn’t even care ‘cause it was so fun!
            After a while though, it wasn’t so fun anymore.  Karine staggered outside and threw up on the sidewalk, which was like, totally gross, ‘cause all the snow was gone.  Puking in snow was better than puking on concrete. 
            “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this drunk,” giggled Christina, holding back Karine’s hair.
            “I’ve seen you this drunk,” Karine giggled back.
            “Hell, I’m that drunk right now.”
            “You need to puke?”
            “Nah, I can hold my liquor, I ain’t no amateur,” Chrissy boasted.
            They walked for a second and then sat down on the windowsill of a Thai restaurant.  “Fuck, I think I’m done,” said Karine, her head pounding.  “I wanna go home.”
            “Yeah, I’m good.  Let’s go.”
            “I don’t wanna a bus.  It’ll take forever.”
            “Let’s get a cab.”
            “Yeah, I guess, except cabs are gross.  Why’d we even come to Ste-Anne’s?  We could’ve just gone to Clydes and like, walked home,” Karine sighed.
            “I totally suggested Clydes and you were like, no, you hate that place.”
            “Oh right.  Yeah, I do hate it.”
            “Well so, a cab then?”
            “I’m gonna call Terry.”
            “Good idea!” agreed Chrissy.
            This phone was so stupid!  It was like, totally impossible to even get to the place where you put in the phone number, god!  Finally she clicked on Terry and the phone dialed. 
            “What’s up?” he answered.
            “Why are you yelling?”
            “Terry, oh my god!” she screamed into the phone.
            “Are you drunk?”
            “You need a lift home, don’t you?” he asked, all judgemental, like he’d never been drunk before.
            “Yeah,” Karine tried to sound less like she was drunk, and more like she was just wanting to hang out for fun times.
            “Where are you?”
            “In Ste-Anne’s?!”
            “God, you don’t have to yell!”
            “Karine, I’m not gonna drive all the way to Ste-Anne’s just to drive you to Beaconsfield!  I’m in NDG, for fuck’s sake!”
            “I thought you were in Kirkland.  Visiting your dad or whatever.”
            “That was yesterday. I’m home now.”
“Ehhh,” Karine whined.  “But what am I supposed to do?”
            “Take a bus or a cab.  What’s the big deal?”
            “Terry!  I’m feeling really sick.  I just puked.  I don’t wanna take a bus with a bunch of stinky people and like, I don’t wanna take a cab with like some gross guy.”
            “Oh my god!” Terry said in exasperation.  “Call Nick.  He lives in Kirkland.”
            “He has a car?”
            “He has access to one.”
            “Ok, thanks, bye!”
            “So I guess he’s not coming,” said Christina in disappointment. 
            “He lives in NDG now, with like, his sister’s mom.  She like, divorced his dad and he like, hates his parents or whatever.  It’s a whole thing.  He says we should call Nick.”
            “Who’s Nick?”
            “He’s totally hot.”  She dialed and the phone rang and there was no answer.  So she texted a few times and then called again.
            “Karine?  What the fuck!  It’s like fucking one in the morning!  I’m fucking sleeping.  What the fuck do you want?”
            “Nick!  I need a lift home!  I’m at Annie’s and I’m all like drunk and sick or whatever.”
            “Are you fucking serious?  Are you being fucking serious right now?  You wake me up so I can fucking drive you home?  You ever heard of fucking taxis you fucking bitch?”
            “He’s like totally pissed,” giggled Karine to Chrissy as she held the phone away from  her ear.  “But cabs are gross and Terry said you’d help,” she said sweetly.
            “Seriously?! I’m gonna fucking kill him.”
            “Nick, come on!  Oh my god!”
            “I swear to god I’m gonna fucking kill Terry on Monday and I’m gonna kill you too.  Fine, I’ll be there in a bit.”
            “Thanks!  You’re the best!”  She hung up and smiled at Chrissy.  “He’s coming.”
            “Who is he?”
            “Terry’s hockey friend.”
            “So Terry lives with his step-mom?”
            “Didn’t I tell you the whole thing about Terry finding out like how his mom isn’t his real mom and how like, his real mom like totally abandoned him and divorced his father and he married his mom, I mean like, his fake mom, like you know, like, the one he grew up with and she like, raised him and they never told him the truth.  He like discovered it by like finding these old pictures of his real mom and it’s a whole thing.”
            “I know, it’s totally crazy.  So he was like all pissed and shit and he like moved out and everything and he like moved in with his step-mom to like, keep taking care of his sister and stuff.”
            “I know.”
            After a moment Chrissy asked if Terry was still with Cherry. 
Karine was surprised Christina had managed to restrain herself from asking until now. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t tell you.  They like, totally broke up.  And it was like, epic.  He totally dumped her ‘cause like, she liked this other guy and then she went out with that other guy, like Jason Harris, you know from high school?  That like, total loser?  Right, so they go out and then like he dumps her like five seconds later and then Terry is all like, pissed so he punches him in the face and he has a broken nose and shit and Cerise tries to get back with Terry ‘cause she thinks if he hit Jay he must still like her or whatever but he was like, nope, totally over you and she’s like, all sad and shit.”
            “I know.”
            “Sad for Cerise I guess, but fuck, her name is so stupid,” Chrissy snorted in derision.
            “Totally,” Karine nodded.
            “So then Terry’s single?”
            “Yeah,” Karine confirmed with a sigh.
            “You think he’d go out with me again?”
            Karine laughed and then shrugged apologetically.  “I mean, yeah, totally, probably, why not?  Sure.  Anything’s possible I guess.”
            “But I thought you were over him.  Besides, we’re supposed to be guyless for a while!”
            “Yeah but like, it’s Terry,” said Christina.  “Besides, I’ve already been single for like, a way long time!”
            “But we agreed to be single together!”
            “Yeah well it’s not like he’d go out with me anyway.”  Christina slumped her shoulders in defeat.
            “Yeah, probably not.  Even though him and Cherry are broken up he’s still all into her.  Fuck, he never gets over her! She needs to become ugly or something.  Or you know, uglier.”
            They both burst into a fit of giggles.
            “She’s not actually ugly though,” Christina sighed.
            “I know.  But we’re both prettier.”
            “Yeah, totally.”
            “And we have bigger boobs!”
            “Yeah!” laughed Christina, shoving out her chest.
            “And we’re not named after fruit!”
            They were still laughing when Nick showed up.  He got out of the car and helped them get into it. 
            “Hey!” Karine clasped her arms around his neck.  “Nick, this is Chrissy.  Chrissy, Nicky.”
            “Hi!” she said brightly.
            “It’s just Nick,” he said with a sigh.
            “Oh my god, he’s so hot!” whispered Christina from the back seat, before Nick got back in the driver’s seat.
            “I know but he’s gay,” Karine announced just as he was taking the wheel.
            “Am I taking you guys to different places?”
            “No, Chrissy will sleep at my house,” said Karine with finality.
            “You’re totally hot,” said Chrissy, slumping back into the leather of Nick’s parents’ car.
            “Thanks,” said Nick.  “I’m still killing you on Monday for this.”
            “I love you too,” said Karine, closing her eyes and wondering if she should bother brushing her teeth before going to bed.