Sometimes Terry had to remind himself that he still enjoyed the game. Hockey had become such an aggravating routine that he periodically needed to refresh his interest by thoroughly ignoring his coach. He dutifully participated in all the drills during practice and he worked out throughout the week as instructed, but he often found himself automatically nodding at whatever Coach was going on about while simultaneously thinking about something completely unrelated.
During games he sometimes got a little violent, just for the fun of it. Hockey was a violent game to begin with, so it wasn’t as though his aggression was unusual but sometimes he began fights completely unprovoked. He was unofficially acknowledged as the enforcer for his team but sometimes he veered into pest territory and even sort of enjoyed it when his coach yelled at him during his penalties. It was funny to see him blow a gasket.
Throughout his hockey career, Terry had often been forbidden from acting as enforcer, since his coaches sometimes felt his talent was wasted in this area. It was also sort of against the rules to fight in his hockey league but everyone mostly turned a blind eye to Terry’s excesses. As much as spectators didn’t want to admit it, everyone loved a good fight, even parents, especially parents. And as Terry got older it became clear that he would fight during games whether his coaches wanted him to or not, so he was grudgingly allowed to do so and as far as he was concerned, his games were all the more entertaining because of it.
One of the reasons Terry liked taking on this role is that he relished his reputation as a bad-ass. He especially liked taking on guys from other teams with similar reputations. They always let their anger get the best of them and fought irrationally, but Terry kept his cool and let them tire themselves out with their little punches before delivering his smackdowns. He was known in the West Island
Privately, Terry knew this made him a bad person. Even though he enjoyed his bad-ass reputation and played it up in public, he was well aware that it kind of made him a jerk. It made him his father’s son, which he hated. Not that John had ever been violent, but his dad was a dick and Terry supposed he was one too.
That’s why he made himself stick to a strict rule of on-ice only violence. Sure, he’d beaten up a few losers at school but that didn’t really count since he was always proving a point in those instances. For example he’d once hit a kid for insulting a chick he was dating at the time, and once he’d taken down a dork who’d mocked jocks. But he wouldn’t be violent just for the fun of it. He needed a reason. As much as he liked being seen as a bad-ass, Terry didn’t want to be perceived as a bully. He didn’t want to be seen as stupid and he especially didn’t want people to be afraid of him. Or rather, he didn’t want girls to be afraid of him.
That Saturday afternoon, the Lakeshore Jaguars took on the Laval Patriotes. As he sat in the penalty box, he thought about Cerise and what she might think of his violent nature. She’d probably be horrified. Of course, she had a bit of a temper herself. Still, she’d be totally disgusted by his outbursts, not only because she wasn’t into hockey but because she was good. Certainly she was too good for him. Unless he were to change. How hard would it be to simply stop fighting?
Once his penalty was over Terry flew back out onto the ice. He deliberately forced himself to avoid fights and it worked out fine, though the game was fairly boring and his team lost. Coach gave him an earful in the locker room, berating him for not being on his game and for allowing the other team to walk all over him. It was true. Being nice meant being weak.
Even though they lost, the Jaguars had a party afterwards. They always had parties after their games. If they won they needed to celebrate and if they lost they needed to unwind.
The party was at Rob Townsend’s house. He always threw the best hockey parties, since he knew a ton of puckbunny chicks. These parties were hook-up heaven.
Terry roughhoused with the guys for a while as they all blamed one another for the loss. The hockey groupies assured them that they’d played a good game. They only lost by one goal after all. Terry surveyed the room, trying to decide which groupie to hook up with. Usually he let the girls come to him, since it was a particular kind of chick who was attracted to the enforcer, although he’d also had much success with generic jock groupies who were simply interested in tall guys with muscles. But today none of these chicks were really doing it for him.
A girl with dark, curly hair wanted to know how much he could bench press and she practically swooned at the answer. It would have been too easy to hook up with her so Terry moved on to a small girl with a short blonde hair. She complimented him on his game and giggled as she touched his biceps, which he didn't even bother flexing.
There were a couple of girls at the party who were hockey players themselves and could be counted on for intelligent conversation but Terry had already hooked up with them in the past and didn’t feel like going back for seconds.
There were a couple of girls at the party who were hockey players themselves and could be counted on for intelligent conversation but Terry had already hooked up with them in the past and didn’t feel like going back for seconds.
Feeling deflated, he walked outside and found his teammate Nick Morgan sitting on the front porch, smoking a cigarette.
“Hey dude, ‘sup?” said Terry, taking out a cigarette of his own.
“You better not be smoking, Trebichavsky!” Morgan barked, imitating their coach. “You’re athletes, act like it! No drinking either! Raaah!”
“Yes, coach!” Terry laughed. “What you doin’ out here? Too much pussy in there for ya?”
Morgan chuckled. “Yeah right, man. Any good prospects?”
“I guess,” Terry shrugged.
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I dunno fuck. Whatever dude, I’m so over it.”
“Over what? Unlimited blowjobs? What the fuck?” Morgan laughed.
Terry laughed too. “No man, I dunno. There’s some hot chicks I guess.”
“But not your type?” Morgan regarded Terry quizzically.
“Maybe my standards are higher lately. All these bitches are boring.”
“Oh, it’s not enough they suck your cock, now they have to keep you entertained too?”
“Yeah, I’m crazy I guess,” Terry smirked.
“Nah man, it’s cool. You want an actual girlfriend, right?”
“Yeah, I guess,” nodded Terry.
“But none of these chicks do it for you?” Morgan asked with genuine interest.
“Well, there’s a chick at school actually.”
“Oh! You’ve got someone in mind.”
“Yeah man, she’s fucking intense. She’s not like these fucking puckbunnies. She’s like I dunno man. She’s intense.”
“So what’s the fucking problem? She already got a boyfriend?”
“No, it’s complicated.”
“Like how?”
Did Morgan actually want to know? They’d never talked like this before. Terry didn’t typically have real conversations with his teammates. They usually kept things strictly business or pleasure. The usual topics were the game, getting wasted and getting laid.
“Like I dunno, dude,” Terry shrugged. “I fucked up. I went out with her a couple times and both times she told me she never wanted to see me again.”
“Imagine that,” Morgan chuckled. “And yet she still went out with you the second time. So third time’s the charm, right?”
“If I can convince her to give me another chance.”
“Flash that fucking smile, bat those fucking eyelashes.”
Terry laughed and smirked at Morgan. “The fuck?”
“I dunno, dude. Chicks dig your eyelashes. They actually like, talk about them.”
“Whatever, fuck!”
“I know, right?” Morgan chuckled, seemingly embarrassed.
“What about you, man? I’ve heard some chicks say they dig your style too. How come you’re not in there getting your cock sucked?”
“I have a girlfriend,” Morgan shrugged.
“Oh, ok.”
“I’m thinking of breaking up with her though.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, I really like her as a friend but I’m not really into her. I kinda did a shitty thing tonight.”
“What?”
“I uh, I guess I wanted to test if it was just her or me or what so I hooked up with some other chick and uh, I wasn’t really into that either. Now I feel really bad for cheating on Chloe for no reason.”
“That sucks,” said Terry sympathetically.
Morgan looked up at Terry earnestly. “Yeah. What do you think I should do?”
“If you’re not into your girlfriend then you gotta break up with her. ‘Cause there’s gotta be a chick out there you can dig for real. Maybe she doesn’t come to these stupid parties but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist. Don’t string your gf along for nothing if you’re not feeling it.”
“Yeah,” Morgan nodded. “Totally.”
“’Cause trust me man, cool chicks, they exist.”
It was a bitterly cold day. So cold that Terry had his hood up. He didn’t mind the cold but he hoped it would get a little nicer for the grad ski trip. It was only a week away. He finished his morning cigarette and went to homeroom a bit earlier than usual. He was stick of standing in the snow in his Vans, his feet were freezing.
There were only a few kids in class but Cerise was one of them. He caught her eye and smiled at her, holding her gaze as he walked up the aisle and past her desk. He sat down and kept watching her. She turned around and peered at him. He raised an eyebrow.
Nice. She was getting up. She sat down at the desk in front of his. He leaned forward, putting his arms on his desk and smiling as charmingly as he could.
“Why did you…” she spoke with hesitation.
“Why did I what?”
“Your debate in EMR. It was improvised wasn’t it? Why didn’t you write something for it beforehand?”
Terry smiled to himself, privately amused that Cerise called MRE by the French acronym. “Dude, there were like five topics. I wasn’t about to research each one.”
“Why not?”
“Didn’t feel like it.”
“But you could have done really well.”
“I did do really well. I got an 84 on it.”
“But you could have done even better. If you’d just done some research and like, prepared something it would have been really good ‘cause you would have known what you were talking about instead of just talking out of your ass which is what you were doing.”
He shrugged. “I actually did do a bit of research. The stork statistic thing is a real thing.”
“So how come you didn’t bring in proof?”
“Whatever,” he shrugged. “It’s just MRE.”
“You could have done so well. I mean your speech was still really good. I mean you obviously have oral skills.”
He couldn’t help smirking. “So I’ve been told.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be gross, Terry. I mean you’re good at public speaking.”
“Thanks,” he smiled.
“If you just tried a little harder you could do really well in school.”
“I do ok.”
“But you could do even better.”
He knew he shouldn’t push it and should just agree with her but she was starting to push his buttons. “Why bother? So I can be on the honour roll?” It came out slightly more snarky than he’d intended.
“What’s wrong with that?” she asked huffily.
“Smacks of effort.”
“Oh yeah. God forbid you work for anything. Wouldn’t want to break the shield of laid back, don’t give a shit cool.”
Damn, she was cute. He loved the way her lips pursed when she bitched him out. And it was kind of sexy the way she narrowed her eyes whenever she got angry.
“Why do you even care?” he asked with a grin.
“I don’t,” she sighed.
“Then why are we having this conversation? I thought we weren’t supposed to talk to each other anymore,” he teased.
“Because, Terry. I just don’t like to see wasted potential.”
He smiled kindly and reached out to her, gently taking her hand. “Neither do I,” he said.
She jerked her hand away and stood up, stomping back to her seat, but Terry kept smiling. That had gone pretty well.
Andrew wasn’t sure if he should play Bottom like a complete retard, or just as a kind of clueless dick. Should he be totally farcical or should he try to elicit a bit of sympathy for the character? Weir said that Bottom is supposed to be a dude who really thinks he’s a good actor but is actually a total loser and is the butt of all the jokes. Everyone joked around that Andrew had been typecast and he laughed along with them but what if it was true? What if he really was a shitty actor and everyone was just laughing at him for even trying?
Going into theatre hadn’t exactly been easy for him. Terry and Steven had given him a lot of shit for going the drama fag route. Not that he couldn’t take it. He wasn’t some fucking pussy who couldn’t take a joke. And everyone knew he could take down any asshole who tried to give him a hard time. But were people cool with him because they thought he was cool or were they just afraid he’d beat them up?
Every time they did a play everyone fell all over themselves telling Karine how awesome she’d been but no one ever told him he was good. It wasn’t fair. Everything was so easy for chicks. They could do whatever they wanted. But he constantly had to worry that people would think he was a fag, just because he liked theatre.
He walked by that little ho Marla as he left the auditorium and he winked at her as he went. She completely avoided his gaze. What a fucking cunt. She’d been all over him at Karine’s party and now she was ignoring him? Not that he wanted her anymore; she was a totally frigid bitch who couldn’t suck dick properly if her life depended on it.
“Andrew!”
Christina and Erica joined him as he left the auditorium.
“Hey,” he smiled.
Now Chrissy, she was a good lay. Fucking tight pussy, nice dick sucking lips. And Erica was good too. No one knew it but he and Erica had fucked a few times when they’d gotten crazy drunk. He actually didn’t really remember if she was any good but he was pretty sure she was, based on her reputation. For sure he’d have to try her again sometime when he was sober.
“Wanna join us for a smoke?” asked Erica.
“Yep, I’m just gonna go take a leak first,” he replied.
“Ok well…” mumbled Christina, following him.
Erica was also following. He stopped and looked at them. “You guys coming with me?”
“We’ll be outside,” said Erica.
“I could wait here if you want,” smiled Chrissy.
“That’s ok,” he smirked. Shit, Terry had warned him about how clingy she got.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, Chrissy, I’m sure. But you could come in and hold my dick for me if you want. I know how much you like that.”
Erica laughed while Chrissy blushed in embarrassment. Andrew chuckled as he stepped into the bathroom. Fucking chicks, they were all little hos. Didn’t matter if people thought he was a drama fag, he could still bag as many bitches as he wanted.
When Andrew came out to join them for a cigarette, Erica and Christina both leapt to his side. What was up with those two fighting over him? Like there weren’t better guys to go after than Andrew? Sure, he was cute enough but Karine had never been into him. Maybe ‘cause he was such a man whore. Not that Terry was much better. Where was Terry anyway?
Karine said her goodbyes but instead of leaving, she went to check out the parking lot. Sure enough, Terry’s car was still there. She texted him and he said he was under the overpass.
“What you doing here?” she asked as she joined him.
“Dunno,” he shrugged. “Just felt like being alone.”
“Want me to go?”
“No, it’s ok.”
“What’s wrong? Still bored?”
Terry smiled. “I’m fine, Karine.”
“You seem pensive lately. Listen, Terry, I’m gonna give you some advice you gave me once upon a time.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Don’t think so much. Just chill.”
“Good advice,” he chuckled.
“I didn’t think so at the time.”
“And now?”
“Still don’t.”
He laughed boisterously. “So what’s your real advice?”
“What’s your real problem? Come on, you can talk to me. Dr. Karine is here to help.”
“Yeah I bet.”
“No really, I’m a good listener.”
“Yeah I know. You should go into psychology,” he suggested. He seemed serious.
“I’ve actually thought about it. But I also wanna do theatre.”
“So do both.”
“I dunno. I have all these stupid ambitions but I can’t do everything you know? And who says I can even do anything? I mean, there’s always someone better, you know?”
“Karine Cavalière! Insecure?”
“Oh shut up!” she swatted his arm and he chuckled.
“I’ve never known you to doubt yourself.”
“Well I am human you know.”
“Apparently.”
“Yeah well anyway, back to you…”
“So you think about how you suck?”
“Shut up loser! No! Well I mean, except you know, yeah. Of course. Sometimes I wonder you know, about the future and stuff. And what’s gonna happen.”
“Hey, you know what?”
“What?”
“I was right! You shouldn’t think so much. Just chill,” he grinned.
She swatted him again. “Oh my god! I hate you! You act so superiour. You’re the one who’s always being all moody all the time. Obviously you’ve got something going on in that pretty little head of yours.”
He shrugged and smirked. Those were basically the two states of Terry. Shrugging and smirking. And yet he made those simple, dismissive gestures look so hot. Karine knew exactly what it was that had been bothering him lately. He wasn’t that deep after all.
“You know, ever since Cherry the Raspberry came along you’ve been totally out of it.”
He sighed heavily and tossed away the butt of his cigarette. “Can we not?”
“Just admit you’re totally far gone on her!”
“Why should I admit it? So you can shit all over me?”
“Since when do you care about my opinion?”
He looked at her briefly as though in pain. “You know I care,” he said, staring down at his feet.
She’d never been more attracted to him than at that moment. But she knew what she had to do to really be his friend. “You know Terry, you have my permission to hook up with her.”
He looked up, smirking. “You’re such a shit.”
“You’re welcome,” she smirked back.
