Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 7 – Act V

“So you what, you like toured around the school telling everybody I’m gay?” asked Nick with a frown.
    “Not everybody, just the group.  What, like it’s a secret?” asked Karine innocently.
    “Well yeah, Karine, exactly.  It’s up to me to tell people, not you.”
    “Why?  Isn’t it easier now?  Why not let information spread organically?”  Karine felt that this was a valid question and she hoped Nick wasn’t seriously mad at her.  Terry seemed amused by their exchange and ate his lunch with a smirk.
    “No!  ‘Cause like, then the guys on the team are gonna find out and I don’t want them to.”
    “Oh my god, Nick, no one cares!  Seriously, it’s 2013, people don’t give a shit about stuff like that.  I mean we don’t live in fucking Alabama or some shit!”
    “No one cared?” he asked, perhaps a bit offended.
    “God, Cerise didn’t even care that her stalker is gay.”
    Terry perked up at this news, predictably.  “Really?  I gotta say I’d prob’ly be a bit skeeved if like, Vani turned out to be gay.”
    “Why?” asked Nick.  “Why would it matter?  Tons of chicks you don’t dig have crushed on you.  Why is it different if it’s a guy?”
    “’Cause even the ugliest chick, I mean, I’d still do her if like, you know, desert island and shit.  But a guy?  I dunno.” 
Nick was obviously annoyed by this news and Karine was surprised he was being so upfront about his feelings on the matter.
Terry sighed.  “Oh come on, I have to be on like gay alert now?  I can’t be a bit skeeved by the idea of a guy being into me?”
    “So you’d freak if I said I had a thing for you?”
    “I guess.”
    “Ok, I won’t mention it then,” Nick said with a smirk.
    “Ok, cool,” smiled Terry and they both chuckled.
    Seriously?  Did Terry even realize he was flirting with Nick?  It seemed pretty obvious to Karine that Nick really did have a crush on Terry, after all, who wouldn’t?  But to what degree was Terry in denial about it? Or was he perhaps indifferent?  If he could joke around with Nick about it, was he actually skeeved by the idea of Vani being into him?  Wasn’t he be secretly flattered, even a little bit?  Karine had to admit that she was a tad annoyed to find out Cerise’s stalker was gay.  How many freaking people would turn out to be into Cerise?  For the millionth time Karine tried to figure out what was so special about that stupid cherry and came up with nothing.
In any cause, it was gonna be fun to have a gay friend.  They had to find Nick a boyfriend.  Karine suggested it and Nick immediately protested, claiming he could find his own prospects.
    “Bullshit.  If you could, then you wouldn’t be so hard-up,” said Terry.
    “What about the guys in the Queer Collective?” asked Karine.
    “Ehh, not my type.  They’re all like Kirk from Glee.”
    “So what’s your type then?” Karine went on.  “Guys like Terry?”
    “Shut up.”  Nick rolled his eyes.  “But I mean, I guess, yeah, in the sense of like, athletic you know?  I don’t wanna go to the theatre, I wanna go to games.”
    “What’s wrong with theatre?” pouted Karine.
    “You know what I mean.”
    “Have you ever had a boyfriend?” she asked.
    “I guess not,” shrugged Nick.  “I mean I’ve done stuff with guys.  Like a couple times I went to gay bars and just like made out and stuff and a couple times…” he trailed off.
    “A couple times what?” prompted Karine.
    “You wanna hear this shit?” Nick asked, the question obviously directed at Terry.
    “I’m not gonna spontaneously combust if I hear about dudes fucking,” smirked Terry. 
    “Well we didn’t fuck exactly,” shrugged Nick.  “I mean, just oral, handjobs, stuff like that.”
    “So why not go the extra mile, or like, inch?” asked Karine with a grin.
    “I dunno,” he shrugged, looking down at the remnants of his lunch.  “I mean we were in clubs.  It’s wasn’t like romantic or anything.  Not like a real relationship.”
    “So you don’t just want hook-ups, you want the real deal?”
    “Yeah, I guess.” 
    Poor Nick.  If only he could find a gay version of Terry.  If only Karine could find a straight version of Terry.  If only Terry weren’t so fucking obsessed with his stupid Cherry angel.
    “Yeah,” Nick went on with more conviction.  “I guess I want what you and Cerise had,” he said to Terry.  “I mean she wasn’t just a chick you fucked, you like, liked her.  She was a friend as well as a girlfriend.  I want that.  I want someone I’m into that I can actually hang out with.  All the guys in the Collective, they’re boring.  And all the guys at clubs, they’re old or they’re way too into themselves.  How do I find someone worth being with?”
    “It’s impossible!” Karine exclaimed.  “There are no cool guys out there!  They’re all assholes or just boring as shit or they’re little weasely fuck-nuts who like, dump their girlfriends ‘cause they’re afraid of getting beat up.  God, I’m so glad I never hooked up with Jay.”
    “I feel bad for Cerise,” nodded Nick.  “I mean she had this great relationship with this great guy but then he dumped her ‘cause he was all Jealous McEnvypants and then she gets together with the fuck-up her guy was jealous of, only to have him shit all over her too.  I wonder why Jay even got together with her in the first place.  He was so obviously never into her.”
    “Seriously, what a dick move,” agreed Karine.  She had to admit even Cherry angel didn’t deserve to be treated so badly.
    They looked at Terry, who sat there scowling and grinding his jaw.  Without even saying a word he got up and walked away.  Nick and Karine looked at each other quizzically.
    “So you’re into him, aren’t you?” she asked.
    “No, moron, Terry.”
    “Nah, he’s a good guy and he’s undeniably hot, but I want someone who wants me.”
    “Yeah, me too.”
    “Tons of guys want you.”
    “But I don’t want them!  All the guys of the universe suck!” she insisted.
    “I know!”

    “How come kung-fu movies aren’t a thing anymore?” asked Jay as he kicked at the hardened snow on the ground.  It was so freaking cold lately.  He hated having to wait for the bus like this, though he supposed the ride home wasn’t as bad as the ride to school, which was always super early in the morning.  At least all his classes finished early enough that he could go home while it was still light out.  Karine always had rehearsal at night and had to wait at this stop when it was even more freezing. 
    “They’re still a thing,” insisted Karl.  “They have them every year at the Fantasia fest.” 
Karl seemed to be the only person in line who wasn’t freezing to death.  Of course, he was the only one wearing a hat and mitts and boots but still, he didn’t have to be so smug about it.  Everytime Jay or Willy or Vani complained about the cold he’d yell at them for being umprepared for winter and rant about how it’s January and it’s supposed to be cold and blah blah blah.  He could be so annoying.  Sometimes it was better just to suffer in silence.
    Jay pulled his collar up around his face and responded with a muffled voice. “I’m supposed to wait ‘till summer to see one?  Besides, I hate that fest, the seats suck.”
    “So just fucking download the movies then, you fucking ‘tard bucket!”
    “Fine!  When we get to my place you can download some shit and we can watch one.”
    “But we’re supposed to game,” insisted Vani.  “We haven’t gamed in like forever!”
    “What are you talking about?  We gamed at lunch,” said Willy.  “Now that everyone hates us we game all the time.”
    “Indeed,” nodded Karl.  “I must say a happy side effect of Jay’s fucking up our social lives is that we have made great strides in the Santimbanco campaign.”
    Jay wished the guys wouldn’t speak openly about the game when in public.  There were tons of people in this bus line, including some cute girls but of late Karl and Vani seemed to have forgotten that their secret shame was supposed to be a secret.
    “I still wish it was the way it used to be,” sighed Vani.  “Hey, speak of the devil!”
    Jay looked up to see Terry Trebinotevenwearingacoatsky striding towards them purposefully.
    “Hey Terry!” beamed Vani.  “I hear Nick’s gay now.  Is he like macking on you and… uh, I think Terry’s here for you, Jay.”
    Terry Trebicheeksgettingallblotchyeitherfromthecoldorfromrage loomed over Jay.  “I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate you any more than I already did, Harris.  But congratulations.  You’ve managed to make things even worse.”
    “Uh,” Jay stammered, looking up at Terry Trebisuperangrysky’s eyes, which were narrowed into little green slits.
    “What the fuck is wrong with you anyway?”
    “Um, is this about Cerise?” Jay dared to ask.
    “Never say her name!  Don’t even fucking look at her!”
Terry Trebibrutesky lunged forward and Jay couldn’t help but recoil.  He stepped backwards and stumbled on the frozen snow but caught himself before falling.  The guys snickered and Terry Trebicompletegoonsky smirked with satisfaction. 

Cum 2 back door bus stop trust me worth it.
Cerise was pretty sure Willy had never texted her before and she was intrigued.  Since she was in Casgrain it only took a second to walk to the back door.  She was half-way there when she realized she should have grabbed her coat since it was no doubt freezing outside but maybe Willy could come inside to tell her whatever he wanted to say.  Oh god, hopefully he didn’t want to ask her out or something.  He was being kind of flirty with her lately, which was gross, but thankfully she was avoiding all the guys and only had to contend with the occasional Facebook message.
She climbed a flight of stairs and stopped when she got to the back door.  All the guys were there, waiting in line for the bus and Terry was standing in front of Jay.  She couldn’t hear what they were saying and wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“What the fuck?  I didn’t even do anything!”  Jason Harris and his stupid hair exclaimed. 
Oh seriously?  That’s how he was gonna play this?  Like he wasn’t the biggest piece of shit ever?  Like he hadn’t completely fucked over Cerise, who’d always been way too good for him, whom he’d always taken for granted and treated like shit. 
“You don’t even fucking get it, do you?  You don’t even know what you had.  You just shit all over everything, don’t you!?”  Terry knew he was making a fool of himself, yelling in front of all these randos, in front of the guys, but he couldn’t help it.  Jason Harris seriously needed to understand how badly he’d fucked up.
He just wanted to punch the little snivelly shit in the face.  But he knew he couldn’t.  Violence wasn’t the answer, or whatever the fuck bullshit Cerise would say if she were here.  Terry tried to calm himself down, tried to remember that only a loser would try to solve a problem with his fists.  He turned and started walking back to the school.
“God, whatever, fuck… fuck you,” Jason Harris spat out.
Terry spun around and lunged at Jay, his hand flying out before he could stop it.  It caught Jay square in the nose.  Jay screamed and cradled his face as he fell backwards and landed on his ass with a thud.  Blood spurted everywhere, making all the dirty snow red.  Jay’s jacket was dark blue, too dark to show the stains, but his hands were completely covered in blood and a pool was developing under his face, between his knees.  Shit.  Holy fucking shit.  Terry froze, no idea how to react.  He had to stay in control, to act like this was all part of his plan.
“If you ever hurt her again I’ll break more than just your nose,” he said insistently. 
He met Vani’s eyes, who looked shocked but maybe also amused.  Willy was full-on laughing and Karl was on the ground, holding tissues up to Jay’s nose.  Jay tried to push him away but Karl told him not to be a pussy and to get up ‘cause they had to go to a hospital.  Terry knew none of them had cars.  He knew he should offer to drive but fuck, he had to stand his ground.  And seriously, Jay deserved what he’d gotten.

Holy fucking shit.  Jay sat in the snow, his face bleeding profusely and Terry just turned around and stomped back towards the school.  Cerise bolted, running upstairs so he wouldn’t see her when he walked in.  She ducked behind a wall and listened as the door opened and slammed shut.  Footsteps got fainter as Terry presumably walked downstairs.  Holy fucking shit.

“Well I guess you were right to be afraid of him,” said Vani as he and Karl led Jay inside. 
“I was never afraid of him!” Jay managed to say, his voice strangled.  It hurt to talk.  It hurt to breathe.  It hurt so fucking much!  He couldn’t even believe what had just happened.  He hadn’t even been afraid of Terry Trebiwhateverthefuck! 
“Well I guess you should have been,” snickered Willy.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 7 – Act IV

Everything was just the way it had been the previous semester.  Every day Terry would eat lunch in the cafeteria with Nick and every so often Karine would join them.  Sometimes they’d join her for a smoke outside even though they’d officially quit.  Terry thought it was pretty good that he was down to one cigarette a day.  Of course when he’d been with Cerise he’d totally clean, but still.
Today they decided not to go for a smoke because it was particularly cold out.  Instead they lingered in the caf and after a while Karine came along, her cheeks red and her boots covered in snow.
“Hey losers,” she said as she sat next to Terry.  “What’s up?”
“I was just about to tell Terry that I think Cerise’s stalker is a lesbian,” said Nick.  “I mean I think that’s why she’s stalking Cerise.  ‘Cause she likes her in that way.”
“Wow, didn’t see that one coming,” Karine rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, not much of a leap,” admitted Terry.
“Fucking nasty though,” Karine went on.
“Why?  ‘Cause it’s gross to be gay?” asked Nick tentatively.
“No, because that chick is like, magnetically attracted to porta-potties.  And the fact that she wants to infect Cerise with her porta-potty germs is gross.”
“Sooo, you don’t have a problem with gayitude?”
“Gayitude?” chuckled Karine.  “I watch Glee, don’t I?  Even though it totally sucks now.  Have you guys seen Les Mis?  ‘Cause that sucked too.  Like, I get wanting to use established actors but get some who can sing.  Their voices are like, so thin.  And you can barely hear the score.”
“Yeah Nick, have you seen Les Mis?” asked Terry with a grin.
“Oh, shut up.”
Karine regarded them with interest.  “What’s the joke?”
“Nick’s gay,” explained Terry.
“Thanks Terry, but like, I can out myself, ok?” Nick scowled.  “I don’t need you to do it for me.”
“So fucking do it then!”
“Shut up.”
Karine looked from Terry to Nick and her eyes widened.  “Wait, like, for serious?”
“Yeah,” Nick nodded.
“How come you never told me?”
“I never told anyone.  I’m like currently in the process of like, coming out to certain people.”
“Well I guess that makes sense,” she shrugged.  “Nice, good-looking guys who dress well and like to talk are always gay.  Or at least that’s what TV tells me.”
“So by that logic I’m gay,” said Terry.
“Don’t I wish?” smirked Nick and then hastily added that he was just kidding.
“I said nice guys, Terry.  And you’re in no way a nice guy.  Speaking of which, I found out why Jay broke up with Cerise.”
“Really?  Why?  I mean, not that I care,” Terry clarified.
Nick rolled his eyes as Karine went on.  “It’s ‘cause of you!  Apparently he was like, scared shitless that you were gonna beat him up or some shit!”
Terry burst into laughter.  “No fucking way!  What a fucking wuss!”
“Seriously, what the hell?” asked Nick, also laughing.
“Like you should talk, Nick,” Terry chuckled.  “Didn’t you say you were scared of coming out ‘cause you didn’t want people to beat you up?”
“It’s different and you know it.”
“It’s way different,” Karine nodded.  “Jay is a fucking loser.  I don’t blame him for being scared but for being soooo scared he’d fuck over Cerise like that?  I mean, she is mondo hurt.  She’s like, depressed.  It took her like, ages to read her script.  God, the play we have to do this term is like so shit.  I mean it’s so beyond shit!”
“She’s depressed?” asked Terry, trying to get Karine back on track.
“Yeah,” Karine nodded.  “I guess not just about Jay,” she shrugged.  “She’s all sad ‘cause of you too.  She’s all saying how like she betrayed you and it was so stupid and you were right and she was wrong and Jay broke her heart and she’s an idiot and whatever the fuck.”
“He broke her heart?” asked Terry, trying not to sound too interested, but maybe not caring that much if he did.
“Poor Cerise,” said Nick.
“That fucking ass, he was right to be scared,” said Terry with gritted teeth.  “I’m gonna pound his face in.”
“And prove him right?” snickered Karine.  “God, why are you so violent?”
“I don’t care if I do prove him right.  He needs to be taught a lesson.”
Nick snorted with derision.  “And you wonder why he was scared?  You wonder why I was worried?  Karine’s right, you’re totally violent.  Is it ‘cause of your daddy issues?”
“So I should just let him get away with it?  With treating Cerise like shit?”
“So only you can treat her like shit?” asked Nick with a smirk.
“I never broke her heart!”
“Her exact words when you dumped her were: you’re breaking my heart”.
Terry shrugged and grumbled incoherently.  They were right, he was violent, but still, he couldn’t just ignore the way Jay and his stupid hair had treated Cerise.  She deserved better. 

Karine held on to Nick’s news for an entire day before she burst.  She hovered over the guys’ table at the Munch Box and casually asked if they knew he was gay.
“Fascinating,” said Karl sarcastically.
“Are you serious?” asked Vani with the appropriate amount of shock and awe.  “I knew it!”
“Why? ‘Cause you can smell your own kind?” smirked Willy.
“Does this mean we can’t make gay jokes anymore?” asked Jay.
Karine put a hand on her hip and smiled down at him.  “He could still beat your ass, you fucking coward.”
Jay sighed and glared at Vani who ranted about how his pure non-homosexual man love for Terry was now threatened by one whose love was more pure.
“Nick doesn’t love Terry,” said Karine, wondering if maybe he did.
“I knew he was up to no good,” Vani ranted on.  “I knew he was trying to steal Terry away from me!  Oh god, does this mean I have to become gay in order to fight for the man I love?”
“Become?” asked Willy.  “I mean, am I the only one who is getting increasingly disturbed by Vani’s declarations of love for Terry?”
“He just does it to piss me off,” grumbled Jay.
“Yeah, ‘cause everything is about you and your fear of Terry,” scoffed Vani.
“I’m not even afraid of him!” Jay insisted.
“Maybe you should be,” said Karine.  “He still wants to beat you up, you know.”

“Well that explains it,” said Janice with great relief after Karine had burst into the green room and announced that Nick was gay.  “He’s like the only guy at this school I haven’t hooked up with yet.”
A couple of the guys in the green room looked up at this comment but they didn’t say anything.  They were dorky guys unworthy of Janice’s attention and undoubtedly free of her STDs.  Cerise looked around the room, wondering why she’d never considered anyone’s sexuality before.  There were a lot of guys in Theatre Workshop this semester and she supposed some of them might be gay.  It was perhaps a stereotype that theatre guys were gay but still, it was strange that she’d never even thought about it before.  Hugh was obviously gay and she’d never really thought about that either.  Cerise wondered if her lack of attention to the matter meant she was unusually tolerant or unusually ignorant, or maybe even unusually self-absorbed.  
It had certainly never occurred to her that Nick might be gay but she felt ok about that since Cassie and Janice seemed equally taken aback.  They gathered their scripts and went to Casgrain to sit in a hallway where they met up with Sarah and shared the news with her.
“So that’s why he never liked me!” she exclaimed.
“That’s what I said,” nodded Janice.  “It’s a shame, such a fine piece of man meat, gone to waste.  Oh well.  Maybe he’ll let me watch him fuck another dude.”
“Eww,” said Cassie.
“You’re such a prude,” scoffed Janice.
“And you’re a whore,” giggled Karine.  “So there’s more.  Know who else is gay?”
 “Who?” they all asked.
“Your stalker,” Karine smiled at Cerise.
“How do you know?” asked Cassie before Cerise could react.
“Nick said so.  I guess they have like a homo hive-mind or something.”
“Gross,” said Cassie.  “I mean not being gay.  I mean about her wanting to have sex with you.”
“Are we surprised by this news?” asked Janice.  “I thought it was already well established.”
“She doesn’t wanna have sex with me!” Cerise insisted.  Once again, this was something that had never even occurred to her.  Thinking back, she could remember kids calling Shauna a dyke and whatnot but she’d still never really considered the possibility that Shauna liked her in that way.
“Of course she does!” insisted Janice.  “That’s always what stalkers want!”
“And if you won’t be her sex toy she’s just gonna like, try to murderise you!” suggested Cassie.
“Guys, let’s not be mean,” sighed Cerise.  “Shauna’s never done anything bad to me.  She’s never been violent, she’s never threatened me.  Over the course of the years I’ve known her, I’ve been meaner to her than she’s been to me.”
“And with good reason!” said Karine.  “She’s a lesbo stalker and she wants to like, marry you.”
“You guys, seriously, enough,” pleaded Cerise.  “Why can’t we ever get over the whole Shauna thing?”
“Because she continues to exist,” said Karine.
“And she continues to stalk you,” insisted Sarah.
“She doesn’t even!  Is she here?  Is she stalking me right now?!”

Shauna started to sweat.  She retreated further down the hallway, determined to walk away, to prove she wasn’t stalking Cerise but she couldn’t stop listening now!  Not when they were talking about her!  Pressed up against the wall, she inched back towards the Casgrain hallway, straining to hear, even daring to peak out from behind the corner for a moment.
“Just because she’s not camped out in your backyard doesn’t mean she’s not still stalking you,” said Karine Cavalière, the pretty, popular girl from high school.
“And now she’s doing it lesbian style,” laughed the hipster chick.
“It’s not like that changes anything,” said Cerise.
“So you don’t even care that she like, wants you in that way?” asked Sarah Wong, the Asian girl from high school.
“Even if she did, which is just an assumption, so what?  I mean it’s not the fact that she’s a girl that offends me.  It’s the fact that she’s her.”
Shauna tried not to feel the twisting in her stomach.  She peaked around the corner again, just for a second.
“She is pretty gross,” agreed the short girl.
“I know, she’s rank,” agreed Karine.
“Well let’s say she wasn’t rank.  Would you have sex with her then?” asked the hipster slut.
“No, what do you mean?” asked Cerise.
“Would you fuck a chick?”
“Would you?”
“Already have, everyone knows that.”
“Is it different than being with a guy?” asked the short girl.
“Yeah,” said the whore.
“I think I’d do it,” said the short girl.
“I don’t think I would,” said Sarah Wong.  “But I mean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it or anything.”
“So Cerise, would you?”
“Well like I said, Shauna’s gender isn’t the issue.  It’s the person that matters.”
“So you would?”
“Well I dunno.  I’ve never met a girl I’ve wanted to sleep with.  But… I think girls are attractive.  I mean in a general sense.”
“I knew you had a little bit of kink in you!” announced the skank triumphantly.  “With a name like Cherry, had to be true.”
“Yeah, I think I’d do it,” confirmed the short girl even though no one was asking her.
“Karine, would you?”
There was a pause and Shauna peaked around the corner again.  Karine Cavalière was considering the question.  “Part of sex is the manipulation you can exert over the guy you’re doing it with.  That wouldn’t apply with a girl.  So it’s like, what would be the point?”
“Hello?  Are you serious?” asked slut-ho.  “The pleasure of it.  It’s about sex, not politics.”
“Politics play into everything.  Especially sex.  You’re kidding yourself if you don’t think relationships come with power struggles.  There’s always a dominant and a submissive.  And if you want the upper hand you have to call the shots.  And it’s a lot easier to control guys than girls.”
“But that’s the whole point of being with a girl.  There’s no power struggle,” insisted ho-bag.  “I’m not even talking about relationships, Karine.  I’m talking about sex.  A one shot deal of pure sexual pleasure where you don’t have to worry about pregnancy and you don’t have to worry about a guy who’s gonna think you’re a slut, or a guy who’s gonna wanna make it more serious or a guy who’s gonna have some sort of weird fetish about coming in your mouth.”
“Ewww!” exclaimed Sarah Wong.
“Yeah, I’m not into that,” agreed short girl.  “Do you swallow?”
“God, no.”
“I do,” said cum-whore.
“Shocking,” replied Sarah Wong with what Shauna assumed was sarcasm.
“It makes a guy feel superior if he thinks he can come whenever or wherever he wants,” said Karine Cavalière.
“Well I like it when a guy comes inside me,” announced Cerise.  “I mean not my mouth, my… inside me.  I mean, I like it when it like, happens, ‘cause you can feel it throbbing and everything and it feels cool.”
“Hah!” laughed Slutty McWhoreskank “Translation, that means Terry’s got a big dick.  You only feel it throbbing if his dick is big enough.  And Cerise?  We all know you’re talking about Terry.”
So gross.  To think of Cerise doing such a thing… it made Shauna want to puke.  They kept talking about having cum inside them and how it was gross when they could feel it dripping and the short one said she wouldn’t know ‘cause she always used condoms and Cerise said that skin on skin felt better and Shauna seriously had to walk away ‘cause this was disgusting but instead she kept listening.  They kept talking about all sorts of sex stuff and Shauna wondered what it would be like to be in the conversation.  She could say stuff about Stan and Rod and Bill.  It would be so much fun to have girlfriends to talk with.  But not girlfriends.  Just friends who were girls.  Like Leanne except normal. 
The whore accused the rest of them of being hard-up and not even knowing it and said they should all have more sex and if they weren’t enjoying it they weren’t doing it right.  Shauna supposed that meant she’d never done it right.  Maybe doing it right meant doing it with someone who wasn’t Stan or Rod or Bill.  Maybe it meant doing it with someone who wasn’t a boy.  Or maybe it meant that Shauna would be alone forever, because Cerise’s friends had made it pretty clear that they found her utterly disgusting and she couldn’t exactly blame them.  She was such a loser.   

Friday, January 18, 2013

Season 3 – Episode 7 – Act III

            When everyone got up from their seats and started milling out of the theatre, Cerise figured class must be over.  It was the first day back at school since Christmas break and Cerise had been in a fog all morning. 
            “You coming to the Munch Box?” asked Karine.
            “Not likely,” mumbled Cerise as she followed Karine out to the hall.
            “Come on,” Karine insisted.  “I know you don’t wanna see him but if you don’t go then everyone’s gonna think you care that he broke up with you.”
            “I do care.”
            “You can’t leet him know that.”
            “Why shouldn’t he know it?  Why shouldn’t he know how much he hurt me?  And what if I sit across from him and like, start to cry or something?  It’d be too embarrassing.”
            “Oh my god, we so have to toughen you up,” said Karine with a roll of her eyes.
            Cerise shrugged.  She knew Karine was right but she just didn’t have the energy to face Jay yet.  She said she was going to eat lunch on the stairs and Karine said she’d join her after she’d gone to buy her lunch.

            “One question, Jay.”
            As if he didn’t know what the question was going to be.
            “Why’d you break up with Cerise?” Sarah went on.
            Jay shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the Munch Box and said he didn’t want to talk about it, which did nothing to dissuade Sarah’s inquisitiveness.  She and Cassie and the guys all stared at him expectantly as Sarah asked if it had anything to do with Karine.
            “Karine?  Why do you say that?” he asked, trying not to show his panic.  Had the guys said something?
            “Well it just seems odd is all,” Sarah said with that sense of superiority she always carried around.  “Everything between you and Cerise seemed fine so you must have a reason.”
            “Because!  I just did that’s all!  Fucking drop it!”
            “Geez, Jay,” Karl sighed.  “The least you could have done was think up a cover story.”
            “Oh! So there is a reason!” Sarah said triumphantly.  “You guys know?”
            “Well,” began Vani, which just heightened Jay’s sense of panic.  Whatever Vani was about to say could only make things worse. “Jay just couldn’t handle the fact that Cerise was Terry’s ex.  He was afraid Terry would beat him up.”
            Yep.  Vani always made things worse.
            “Really?  That’s the reason?” Sarah asked while Cassie laughed aloud.
            “No it’s not!” insisted Jay.  “Vani just made that up!”
            “Wow, I never knew you were such a coward,” said Sarah, getting up to go stand in line with Karine, who was ignoring all of them.
            “I’m not a coward!” Jay called out.
            “Don’t deny it, Jay, we know you’re a giant pussy,” grinned Willy.

            “We have news,” announced Karine as she, Sarah and Cassie joined Cerise on the stairs in Casgrain.
            Cerise looked up expectantly.
            “Ok so like, apparently, like according to Vani…” Sarah began.
            Karine interrupted.  “Jay broke up with you because he’s scared of Terry.  Scared Terry was gonna like, beat him up or some shit.”
            Cerise looked at her friends skeptically and they all confirmed it.  Jay was apparently denying it but it was obviously true because he was being all weasely and stuff.  Cerise insisted that Terry would never do such a thing and Sarah agreed.
            “Well, he might,” Karine shrugged.
            “No he wouldn’t!” Cerise protested.  “I mean Terry’s a good guy.  He wouldn’t beat someone up for such a stupid reason.”
            “Do you miss him?” asked Cassie.
“Of course,” nodded Cerise.  “I can’t believe we broke up.  I mean, I can believe it.  He was right to break up with me ‘cause I treated him like shit.  I betrayed him by like pining over Jay, who goes and like totally breaks my heart two seconds later!  It actually serves me right.  It’s like karma or whatever.”
            “You’re missing the point!” said Sarah.  “Jay is a total coward!  You can’t be all like upset he broke up with you!  You’re better off without him!”
            “We all are,” nodded Cassie.  “So like, do you think Terry would actually beat him up?” asked Cassie.
            “Of course not!” insisted Cerise. 
            “Well…” Karine shrugged.
            “This doesn’t even make,” mused Sarah.  “You and Jay were together a month and Terry didn’t do anything,” said Sarah.  “Why would Jay suddently get scared now?”
            “Maybe Terry threatened him,” suggested Cassie.
            “No, I would have heard about it,” said Karine.
            “Even if he did, for Jay to like, break up with you over it is totally pathetic!” insisted Sarah.
            “Totally!” Karine and Cassie exclaimed.
            “You know, come to think of it, he was pretty pathetic with me too,” said Sarah.  “I figured it was just nerves or embarrassment or whatever, but like, the first time we had sex, he was actually a complete asshole to me after.”
            “God, seriously?  What a fucking ass!” Karine exclaimed.
            “I’m glad I never slept with him,” said Cerise.  “I can’t believe I ever went out with him!”
            “Me neither,” echoed Sarah and Cassie while Karine nodded assent.

            “God, just relax,” counselled Leanne.  “It’ll be ok.”
            Shauna was hesitant and she protested for the billionth time but a second later Leanne was dragging her into a room in Hochelaga.  It was a lounge of some sort, with mismatched chairs and various bulletin boards and a vending machine.  Those girls that Leanne knew, that Shauna had met once at Cunningham’s, they were there, the pretty one and the one who looked like a boy.  And there were four guys, one of whom looked super girl and one whom Shauna recognized.  Wasn’t he that guy always hanging out with Cerise and her hockey boyfriend?
            “Oh hey Shauna,” said the girl who looked like a boy.  Her name was maybe Kim?  “I didn’t know you were queer,” she said in a bitchy tone.
            “She’s just here to sit in,” explained Leanne while Shauna squirmed and sat next to her on a ratty little sofa. 
            Leanne led the group and they all said their names, even Shauna, even though Leanne had said she wouldn’t have to.  The other girl’s name was Brenda and Cerise’s hockey friend was Nick.  He was one of those guys who was so good looking he could be a movie star.  He had black hair and tanned skin and a big smile with straight, white teeth.  It was weird to think he was gay, ‘cause if he were normal he’d be perfect.  He started the talking part of the meeting by asking Leanne if she’d had fun at the New Year’s party.
            “Yeah, it was ok, you?”
            “Yeah, it turned out to be really good,” he smiled.  “I came out to a friend.”
            They all congratulated him like it was really awesome and he smiled and shrugged like it was no big deal.  He went on to explain that it was his close friend Terry, the one he’d been telling them about.
            “Oooh! The guy you have a crush on?” asked Kim in a sing-song voice.
            “I don’t have a crush on him,” he blushed. “I just think he’s hot.”
            “He’s a bit of a pretty-boy isn’t he?” asked Leanne.
            Nick narrowed his eyes and she giggled and prompted him to go on.  He said how this past year he’d become really good friends with Terry but he was worried that he might be homophobic.
            “Why ‘cause he’s a jock?” asked the girly boy.  “That’s just a stereotype and it’s no better than straight people thinking we’re all a bunch of queens.”
            “Says the most fey guy I’ve ever met in real life,” scoffed Kim.
            “And if you were any more butch you’d have a dick,” he countered.
            “Play nice you guys,” said Leanne.  “It’s valid to be fey or butch or anything in between.”
            “Oh my god, Leanne!” Brenda stuck out her tongue in a show of exhaustion.  “Don’t you ever get tired of validating everyone?”
            “Anyway!” Nick said in a raised voice. 
            “Yeah, let Nick go on,” Leanne instructed.
            “Yeah, so like I was worried ‘cause he makes gay jokes sometimes and he has these weird friends who also make gay jokes that are kinda… well sometimes I think this one guy is gay ‘cause he’s like obsessed with Terry but then again, he seems to like girls too.”
            “So maybe he’s bi.  I’m bi,” said Brenda.  “You know, I think if you really think about it, everyone is bi.”
            “Oh my god!” Kim exploded.  “Broken record much?  We get it!  You’re bi!  But you’re gonna have to time travel back to the ‘90s to find someone who gives a shit!”
            “Let Nick finish!”
            “I’m done,” he shrugged.  “The point is just that I was worried Terry would freak but he totally didn’t.”
            “That’s great!” said Leanne enthusiastically.
            “Yeah, at first he was surprised but then he was really cool about it.  Said I should have told him sooner.  He even joked around with me about it.  And he encouraged me to come out to all his friends.  He said they wouldn’t care.”
            “Well that’s awesome!  So Cerise is one of those friends, right?” said Leanne pointedly.
            “Yeah.  I mean, they broke up but yeah, she’s in that group.”
            “So it’s a pretty sure thing that Cerise wouldn’t have a problem with homosexuality.”
            Shauna sunk deeper into the couch, hoping it might swallow her up.
            “Yeah, I think she’d be cool about it,” said Nick with a smirk.
            “Well that’s good to know,” said Leanne, smiling down at Shauna.
            God, she’d known it was a mistake to come to this stupid meeting.

            Cerise felt like a zombie.  She was trying to get back into her school routine but she just wasn’t feeling it.  Even though it had only been a couple of weeks she felt like Jay had dumped her a million years ago.  Time was passing soooo slowly.  Shouldn’t the year be over already?  She was so tired. 
Karine kept telling her she had to get over it, and to fake it until she made it but even though Cerise could intellectually acknowledge that Jay was a piece of shit and not worth pining over she still felt like shit.  The fact that he was a cowardly asshole just made him dumping her all the more humiliating.  She thought back to how uncomfortable she’d been with him, how awkward their relationship had been when they’d tried to be a couple and she knew they were better as just friends but now she didn’t even have that.  They were such a cliché.  Everyone knew that the best way to ruin a friendship was to try to make it a romance.  It never worked.  And that’s what sucked the most; Jay had been a good friend and now he was nothing.  He was maybe even an enemy.  She never wanted to see him again.
            She’d taken to eating lunch in the green room and was hanging out there pretty much all the time.  Today everyone was losing their minds.  
            “Have you guys read this shit?” asked Janice, waving around their script.
            “Yeah,” said Karine sadly.
            “It sucks!” Janice screeched. 
            “I know,” Karine nodded.  “It sucks hardcore.”
            “It’s retarded,” agreed one of the boys.
            “And it’s totally boring,” said Cassie.
            “And Fred’s rewrites are insane.  I mean I saw the original in movie form.  They made a movie about it in like, the ‘40s.  But I was halfway through the script before I made the connection ‘cause that’s how much is changed.”
            “I know, he tried to like update it to like modern times but it just doesn’t work.”
            “He’s so out of touch.  All the slang is still the ‘40s slang.  It makes no sense.”
            Cerise had no idea what anyone was talking about.  She hadn’t read the script yet and wondered how everyone had gotten through it so quickly.  When had they gotten it?  She rifled through her bag and found it, chastising herself for being so out of it.  Just because Jay was a stupid cowardly loser was no reason for her to mess up her schoolwork.  She’d have to prepare her audition soon; she really needed to read this thing. 
Everyone went on with their complaints, saying the story was boring and irrelevant.  Apparently in the original all the characters were girls but because half the class was boys Fred had made some of the characters males.  Janice thought this was retarded because none of their lines were changed and they came across as pussies.  
Karine complained about various other anachronisms, including the main plot point.  She didn’t even know which part she wanted, since the protagonist was a wishy-washy weakling.
“I know, why does she even fall in love with the main guy?  He’s an ass!  At first I thought she was just using him for her career but then they get together in the end like it’s a good thing,” said Cassie.
“I know, that’s supposed to be the happy ending?  It’s totally bullshit!” agreed Janice.
“You guys, I think this is supposed to be a comedy,” said Karine with a frown.
“But it’s so not funny.”  They all agreed.
“It sucks that this is our last show.  I mean for those of us who are second-year.”  Karine contemptuously shrugged at the first-years.  “We should be going out with a bang.  We should be doing a big extravaganza like last semester.  How come we’re doing this piece of shit?”
A theory was put forth that Fred didn’t have the energy to do a big show because he was going through a divorce.  Perhaps this was why his rewrites seemed so half-assed.  Or perhaps he just sucked as a writer and Hugh was too nice to tell him.  Or maybe Hugh was the problem.  Maybe he was the one getting divorced.  Or maybe they both just sucked as teachers.
Cerise resolved to read her script that night.  She needed to get her act together in spite of the suckitude of her personal life right now.  Karine was right; even though Jay had hurt her she couldn’t let him get the better of her.  She had to be above it all.  And throwing herself into her schoolwork would be a good distraction, even though the play this year apparently sucked.  She’d audition for the protagonist and she’d be the best wishy-washy weakling ever!