Thursday, October 27, 2011

Season 2 – Episode 5 – Act II

            “Because of your skater shoes.”  Terry read the piece of paper wrapped around the cookie and neatly folded it, placing it next to the others on his bedspread.
            He stuffed the cookie in his mouth and unwrapped another one.  Cerise liked him because he was gorgeous, because of his hair, because he makes her laugh, because of his kindness, because of the way he takes care of his little sister, because of his warm hands, because of his strength, because of his patience, because of his gentleness, because he listens, because he doesn’t mind how crazy she is…
            Yeah right.  He ate the last cookie and looked at all the notes.  Eighteen little notes.  Eighteen reasons she liked him.  Liked, past tense.

            Cerise tried to be normal at home but everyone could tell something was up so she had to tell her family that she’d broken up with Terry.  They all wanted to know why, especially Julie, who freaked out so strongly about the prospect of Terry no longer coming around that Cerise’s sadness turned to anger.  She was sort of relieved for the switch in emotions and enjoyed telling Julie to get over herself.

            It was weird to drive to school without swinging by Cerise’s house first.  Terry wondered if he should pick her up anyway but then realized that was totally retarded because Cerise had totally broken up with him for a totally stupid reason and everything totally sucked!

            Cerise had to wake up extra early to catch the 211 to school.  She was seriously an idiot for breaking up with Terry.  Maybe if she secretly murdered Andrew Lester she could get back together with him and everything would be ok.

            Well, might as well start smoking again.  If Cerise didn’t want to be with him then he had no reason to quit.  Might as well just get lung cancer and die.
            As soon as Cerise opened her locker she saw a picture of her and Terry stuck to the inside.  She would definitely need to come up with an untraceable way to kill Andrew Lester.

            “Hey, I thought you quit,” said Nick Morgan as he joined Terry outside of Casgrain and lit up a cigarette of his own.
            “Yeah, I did,” Terry shrugged.  “I always pick it back up when Cerise breaks up with me,” he said, surprising himself with his honesty.
            “She do it a lot?”
            “Yep,” he admitted.
            “Crazy,” Morgan sighed, but not unkindly.  It wasn’t like he was saying Cerise was crazy, it was more like he was saying the situation sucked.
            Terry appreciated the distinction.  “Yep,” he nodded.

            “You ok?” Tom whispered to Cerise in the wings.
            She nodded wordlessly.
            “You’re quiet today.”
            She shrugged.
            “If you don’t wanna tell me it’s ok.”
            She smiled sadly and he smiled back.
            At lunch she was sitting on the staircase closest to the theatre, reviewing her art history notes when Tom sat next to her without saying anything.  He handed her a poutine and also had one for himself. 
            “Thanks,” she said, not bothering to protest at the generosity or offer to pay for it or anything.  She didn’t have the energy.  She just started eating, suddenly realizing that she was indeed quite hungry. 
            “All your friends are at the Munch Box,” he said casually.
            “I don’t wanna see anyone right now.”
            “Want me to leave?”
            “No, it’s ok.  I didn’t mean you.”
            “Oh, so I’m not anyone?  Gee thanks,” he grinned.
            “You know what I meant,” she smiled.
            “Yeah I know,” he smiled back, eating his poutine.

            Cerise wasn’t at the Munch Box even though everyone else was.  Terry almost turned around to go eat in the cafeteria or something but then they’d all see him leaving, which would be even worse than sitting with them without her.  He stood in line behind some chick in one of his classes; he couldn’t even remember which one.  She turned around and acted pleased to see him and they made small talk about upcoming exams or whatever.  She was pretty cute and obviously interested.  He could totally hook up with her if he wanted to.  It’d been forever since he’d gotten laid.  Nothing stopping him now.  Might as well go for it.  What should he get for lunch today?  Usually he shared a club sandwich and a poutine with Cerise but today he’d make it a BLT and fries.  He could do whatever he wanted now that he didn’t have that ball and chain tied to him anymore. 

            “So I’ve been trying to write some new songs for Parisses Squares,” said Tom.
            “Yeah?” said Cerise out of politeness more than actual interest.
            He nodded and crumpled up the Styrofoam remains of his lunch, then tossed it towards the garbage can and missed by a mile.  “Well that was embarrassing,” he sighed, getting up and picking up the trash, carefully placing it in the bin.
            She giggled.
            “Yeah so it’s not going so good, mostly because I suck.  I mean, not just at basketball but at song writing too.”
            “You also suck at self-esteem,” she teased.
            “Which brings me to you,” he smiled.
            “Yeah, I bet you could help with the song writing and the self-esteem, ‘cause if you agreed to write songs with me then I’d feel better about myself, probably.”
            “Ok but I don’t think I can help with the basketball skills.  I suck pretty bad myself on that front.”  To prove her point she gulped the last of her lunch and scrunched up the container, casually tossing it towards the garbage bin.  She missed even worse than he did.
            “Aww, you just did that to make me look good,” he smiled, getting up and throwing away her trash.  “See, you’re already fixing one of my problems.”
            “Yeah, I’m awesome,” she nodded with a grin.  “You know I do kind of write poetry sometimes, I mean, nothing serious.  I never intended to show it to anyone.”
            “I’d love to look at it,” he said, seemingly sincere.
            “Maybe it could be modified into a song or something,” she shrugged in embarrassment.
            She’d honestly never meant for anyone to look at her writing.  She had enough self-awareness to know that teenaged poetry was universally bad and would never expect anyone to take her shit seriously.  But all the same she jogged over to her nearby locker and found her notebook, which she brought back to Tom.  She flipped through the pages until she found the piece that would be least embarrassing to share, or at least something Tom would probably get.
            “It’s not about anything in particular,” she mumbled as he read her poem.  “Just a bunch of references and stuff.”
            He laughed and she winced but it seemed that he was laughing with her rather than at.  “This is good!  It’s funny.”
            “I guess,” she shrugged.
            “Do you have a tune in mind for it?”
            “No, I don’t know anything about writing music.”
            “Me neither but that never stopped me,” he chuckled.
            “Well maybe you can figure something out for it.  I mean if you want.”
            “For sure!  Hey, is this part about that temporal causality loop episode of TNG?”
            “Yeah,” she smiled, pleased that he’d picked up on that.
            “That was a good episode.”
            “I know.”
            “I can’t believe you totally destroyed all my plans for world domination!” exclaimed Vani.
            “I couldn’t let you kill all those poor people!” said Cavity.
            “Big loss anyway,” said Jay in between bites of his grilled cheese.  “You’ve already conquered a million other worlds.”
            It was nice to be sitting at the Munch Box with just the core group.  Well, the guys plus Lee and Jojo and Cavity.  Terry Trebigorrillasky had been there for a second but he ate his food at the speed of light and then walked off without explanation, which suited Jay just fine.  And Cavity was turning out to be a pretty good replacement for Cerise.  She’d only been playing like a day but she’d already shown more dedication than Cerise ever did.  Now if only they could get rid of Jojo, all would be right with the world. 
            “Only forty three.” Said Karl.
            “Yeah, only forty three and Betazed was an important one!” whined Vani.
            “It’s not Betazed,” said Karl.
            “You have to watch out for those telepaths!”
            “What’s Betazed?” asked Cavity.
            “It’s a planet of telepaths in Star Trek,” explained Jojo.
            “But I thought we were in the Stargate world,” she said in confusion.
            “We are,” sighed Karl.  “Vani just calls these telepaths Betazoids because they’re so touchy feely and stupid.”
            “Ok, so you know how Vulcans do that mind meld thing?” asked Cavity.  “Doesn’t that make them telepaths too?”
            “Yeah, it does,” nodded Karl, seemingly impressed.
            “So how come no one ever talks about how Vulcans are telepathic?  It’s always about the logic but mind melding, I mean that’s pretty cool.”
            “Yeah but they don’t mind meld to like share feelings and shit,” insisted Karl.  “Their primary export is still logic.”
            “Are you talking about Vulcans again?” asked Sarah as she squeezed into their table with a tray holding a sandwich and water bottle.  “God, get over it, Karl.  You’re not Vulcan.”
            “But I can always aspire,” said Karl wistfully while Sarah rolled her eyes.
            “So speaking of killing rats,” said Lee.  “We watched a cool video in bio today where they were exposing the brains of rats and…”
            “That’s horrible!” exclaimed Cavity.  “That’s totally animal cruelty!”
            “Yeah, isn’t it great?” smirked Lee.
            “It’s all about the bunnies,” chuckled Willy.
            “People shouldn’t do experiments on defenceless creatures,” Cavity insisted.
            “Yeah but they have like these ethical rules,” said Jay, using air quotes.  “Where like you can’t experiment on people so animals are really the only option left.”
            “I know, it’s so bullshit,” nodded Lee.  “If only we could let nature take its course, in no time we’d have Soylent Green, just like everyone secretly wants.”
            “It would solve a lot of the world’s problems,” nodded Jay.
            “Famine and overpopulation taken care of in one fell swoop,” agreed Lee.
            Cavity looked perplexed so Jojo explained what Soylent Green was and she got all huffy and shit.  So funny how she took their ramblings so seriously.  So cute. 
            Vani apparently agreed because he affectionately told Cavity that her love for lower life-forms was quaint and endearing.  She thanked him, mildly puzzled while Karl insisted her views were misguided.
            “In the end it’s all about the war against the machines,” said Jay.
            “Oh my god,” said Sarah with genuine irritation.  “Is anything not about the fucking war against the machines with you guys?”
            “What do you mean?” asked Lee.  “Like the war against the zombies?  That’s never gonna happen either unless we can finally start experimenting on humans.”
            Vani nodded in agreement.  “We should gather like a hundred or so babies and put them on an island and just leave them to their own devices.  See if they develop language on their own.”
            Karl considered this proposition.  “You’d have to put in some sort of furry robot to take care of them though.  They’ve already proved with monkey experiments that people go nuts without physical nurturing.”
            “Aw man, see?” Lee nodded his head.  “Furry robots?  War against the machines, man, war against the fucking machines.  It’s already started and we don’t even know it!”
            “So you admit people need nurturing,” Sarah said pointedly to Karl.
            “Unfortunately yes,” he nodded.  “But if we could only do those blasted experiments we could start working on breeding that out.”
            “Genetic engineering.  It’s the wave of the future,” said Lee.
            They all nodded in agreement.  Even Cavity went along with it, giggling all cute like.  But Sarah seemed less amused. 
            “Where’s Cerise?”  She looked around.  “And where’s Terry?”

            The next day Cerise spent her lunch break on the stairs again and again Tom brought her lunch.  This time he had Glosette Raisins for desert, which was one of Cerise’s favourites. 
            “Whoa!  I don’t need the whole pack!” she laughed as he poured way too many chocolate covered raisins into her open palm.
            He scooped some out of her hand and tossed them into his mouth.  “So I’ve been thinking of joining the army,” he said randomly.
            “Just kidding,” he grinned.
            “What the hell?” she laughed.
            “I haven’t really been thinking about anything.  I’m trying to write music for your Star Trek poem but usually I collaborate with Jeff.  He’s bass and he’s busy at University right now so the band is kind of on the back burner.”
            “Yep,” he shrugged.
            “I broke up with Terry,” she said suddenly.
            “Oh?” he nodded, wide-eyed.  “Sorry to hear that.”
            She shrugged and munched on the raisins.
            “What happened?”
            “It’s kind of a long story.”
            “I’ve got nothing but time.  As pathetic as that is.”
            “I dunno.  Well, I do know.  I broke up with him because... it’s gonna sound insane.”
            “Try me.”
            “Well, he has this friend, this guy who’s like... I can’t tell you why he’s bad news because it’s not my place to say but just trust me when I saw he’s really... he’s fucked up.  Like criminally.  So I kinda like, told Terry if he didn’t stop hanging with this guy I’d break up with him.”
            “And he chose the guy?  Over you?  What an idiot.”
            “No, he’s not.  I mean, I wouldn’t have accepted an ultimatum like that either.  It’s a totally unfair thing to do.”
            Tom shrugged as though conceding the point and she went on to say that she’d had no choice because she simply couldn’t associate with someone who would be friends with a guy like that.
            “Did you tell Terry what this guy’s problem is?”
            “No, that’s the thing.  I can’t tell you and I couldn’t tell him either.  It’s kind of a secret and it’s not mine to reveal.”
            “This is all very Chuck.  I mean like, spy stuff.”
            “I know it sounds stupid but it’s really serious.”
            “I wasn’t making fun,” he assured her.
            “Do you watch Chuck?  I used to but gave up on it.  It can be funny sometimes but the stories are so over the top and ridiculous.  Shit, this situation is totally Chuck.  It’s just dumb.  But I still don’t know what the solution is.  I don’t know what to do.  Should I get back with him and just accept that fact that he hangs out with a complete fucking- gonna go to hell, assuming hell actually existed, which it doesn’t, so he’ll never even get what he deserves-asshole?  Or do I stick to my guns and hope that he’ll eventually realize that this guy’s a wackjob?  Or do I tell him the secret which isn’t my place to tell?  Keeping in mind that if I told the secret I’d be betraying someone else and breaking a promise.”
            “Man that’s like, legitimately intense.  One thing’s for sure, Chuck is cancelled, so maybe if you wait long enough things will just sort themselves out.  Or not.  I dunno. I really don’t know, Cerise.”
            It was so nice when people pronounced her name right.  So often they would pronounce it like Sahreece, when it should really be Suhreez.  She supposed the distinction was subtle but whenever someone got it wrong, it got on her nerves even though she chastised herself for being annoyed by it.  Tom said it perfectly and she appreciated that.  He was a good listener; he was being a good friend.
            “Give it some time.  Maybe everything will work out.”
            “Maybe,” she agreed.
            “You know, there is another option.”
            “Which is?”
            “You could immerse yourself in your work and become a prolific songwriter, and you could team up with a slightly dorky guy who’s a little stuck in the emo sensibility even though that whole thing is on the way out.  And you could tour the world as this like, amazing duo a la Captain and Tenille or Roxette.”
            She chuckled in response.
            “But for real though, if Terry knew why you don’t want him hanging around this psycho guy, do you think he’d agree not to hang with him?”
            Cerise considered this.  Would Terry stop hanging out with Andrew moLester if he knew he was a rapist?  Yes, certainly he would.  “Yeah I think he would.”
            “Then he has to know what the deal is.  Not telling him is unfair ‘cause he’s operating without full knowledge.  Ask the person with the secret if you can break your promise.  I mean, if you can’t tell Terry why this guy is all out of it then why not ask the secret person to reveal their secret? Know what I mean?”
            “Yeah, I’ve thought of that but…” Cerise trailed off.  “She’d say I was making this all about me.  Which I am.  I’m taking it personally and making it my issue when it’s really hers.  If she even finds out why I broke up with him, she’ll probably be really pissed.  I don’t wanna go back to being her enemy.”
            “Damn, it just gets more and more complicated.”
            “I guess you think I’m being melodramatic.”
            “No, I don’t.  It sounds genuinely serious.  A for real big deal.”
            Cerise sighed heavily.  Was it really that big of a deal?  Could she try to speak to Karine?  She hadn’t really interacted with her since they’d gone to see Christina.  She knew she’d have to eventually, but she didn’t want to bring up the Andrew thing with her.  It was all so awkward and gross.  And if Cerise felt this badly, imagine how badly Karine felt?  She was dealing with a real problem, an actual traumatic, life changing experience.  Where did Cerise get off trying to make it about her and Terry?  She was a shitty friend and a shitty girlfriend and she didn’t even deserve Terry anyway.  Everything in the world just totally sucked. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Season 2 – Episode 5 – Act I

It was getting rather chilly these days but Cerise loved Fall.  The pretty Autumn colours and the crisp smell in the air made everything seem fresher and more hopeful.  She didn’t even care that she’d sat through another useless late night rehearsal, doing nothing but watching Karine and the other principles rehearse while she sat in the wings whispering with Cassie and Tom. 
She thought about calling Terry and getting him to pick her up but instead she took the bus to his house and she studied for an upcoming art history test during the ride.  Vicky let her in when she got to Terry’s house and she descended into his room unannounced.
“Um, knocking maybe?” yelled Terry in irritation, jumping up from his bed but relaxing when he saw it was Cerise who’d barged in.
He smiled broadly and swept her up into his arms, kissing her eagerly.  Gross!  He tasted of smoke, and reeked of it too.  She pushed him off and complained of the smell.  He lifted his t-shirt to his nose and sniffed it, frowning.  Then he stared at Cerise like a deer caught in headlights.
“God, I hate it when you smoke!”
“I didn’t even…” he said meekly, avoiding eye contact.
“So now you’re lying to me?” she said in irritation.
“It was just one cigarette, not even fully one, just part of Andrew’s.” he shrugged defensively.
That just made it worse.  Cerise scrunched up her face in disgust, not sure how to respond.  She wanted to give Terry an ultimatum right then and there: stop hanging out with Andrew or else but how could she do that?  She wasn’t allowed to tell Terry just how evil Andrew was and him being a smoker wasn’t really a good enough reason to ban him from Terry’s life but what else could she do?  She obviously couldn’t let Terry continue to associate with a rapist.
“You always smoke when you’re with that fucking… eurk!  And only when you’re with him.”
“Well it’s the peer pressure dontcha know?” he tried to be funny.  “I just can’t handle it.”
Cerise glared at Terry for a moment and decided to go for broke.  “I don’t want you to hang out with him anymore.”
“Jesus Christ!  Just because he gives me a cigarette?”
“Like that isn’t enough?  Smoking… it’s an assault, Terry,” she said, formulating this theory as she said it aloud.  “It’s not like drinking, which only affects others indirectly.  Smoking affects others directly.  Like with second-hand smoke.  Every time you smoke you pollute the environment and you force other people to breathe in your cancer.  You know there’s even such a thing as third-hand smoke.  It oozes out of your pores; it lingers on you for days.  Even if you brush your teeth and shower, you still secrete nicotine and that gets absorbed into my skin when I’m with you.  So when you smoke you’re forcing me to smoke and I’m sorry but that’s just immoral.”
She couldn’t tell how he was reacting to her rant.  Did he think she was being ridiculous and over-reacting or was he ashamed of his bad habit?
“I try really hard not to do it, Cerise.  I promise I’ll try harder,” he finally said, looking quite pained, although she still couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or ashamed.  Maybe both.
“I wish I could believe you.  But even if you did stop for real there are other reasons I don’t want you hanging out with Andrew.”
“Like what?” he asked, this time clearly irritated.
She sighed and finally put her book bag down, and sat on his bed.  He sat next to her.  “Like, just… stuff.”
“Like nothing.  God, Cerise, why are you on this again?  I thought you said you were gonna chill on the Andrew thing.”
“And I tried.  I tolerated him at your birthday and it was ok I guess, but, fuck, I just can’t.  You just, you just don’t know him as well as you think you do.”
Terry rolled his eyes so dramatically he almost looked like he was doing a Karl impression.  “And you do?  Gimme a break!  You don’t know shit about him!  I’ve known him for five years!”
“He’s just, fuck!  I don’t know what I can say to make you understand.  He’s just so creepy.  He’s mean.  He’s a misogynist, Terry.”
Terry scrunched up his face, clearly unfamiliar with the word.
“He’s not respectful of women.”
Terry snorted.  “So he’s a player, so what?  That doesn’t make him evil, ok?  He’s no fucking different from me.  Stop being such a prude!”

As soon as he’d said it Terry wished he could take it back.  Why did he always say the wrong thing to Cerise?  And how the hell was he going to get out of this one?  She was already flying off the handle, telling him to fuck off and standing up, collecting her bag, making for the stairs.  He grabbed her arm and then let go when she shook him off.  Her face was red.
“Fuck you!  How could you say that to me?  When you know… you know how…. Just screw you, Terry!”
“I’m sorry, please, calm down,” he tried to sound soothing, tried to take her in his arms.  She shook him away and started crying.  Oh god, waterworks.  Now what was he supposed to do?
“I don’t wanna calm down!  I don’t want you to hang out with him anymore and that’s all there is to it!”
Was she really seriously going to be so irrational about this?  Where the hell did she get off telling him who he could hang out with?  If she thought a few tears would be enough for her to get her way she had another thing coming.
“You can’t dictate who I hang out with!  You can’t just like, forbid me from seeing a friend, I mean, even if it was a chick that would be way uncool.  I mean you just can’t do that, Cerise!”
“I know but…” she sputtered, wiping her eyes.
“Ok, how ‘bout this?” he said, a brilliant idea entering his head.  “If I can’t hang out with Andrew then you can’t hang out with Jay.”  He crossed his arms and smiled with self-satisfaction.  He was a total genius sometimes.
“What?  What the hell does Jay have to do with anything?”
“Nothing.  Except I can’t stand him.  So you veto one of my friends then I veto one of yours.”
She was stunned.  He was so totally brilliant.
“I thought you were ok with him now,” she said quietly.
“You thought wrong, so you’re not allowed to be friends with him anymore.”  He was actually surprised by how good it felt to say that.  He kind of hoped she would agree to the idea.
“But why?” she asked meekly.
“I think you know why,” he said with narrowed eyes.
She seemed to be considering it.  “But Jay is one of my best friends.  I mean, I know he’s a jerk but still.”
“And Andrew is one of my best friends.  And I know he’s a jerk, but still.”
“You’re just being spiteful,” she barked.
“Yeah, maybe I am.  But you’re being unreasonable.”
“No I’m not!” she insisted.
“You can’t even give me a good reason!  You just don’t like Andrew and that’s not good enough, Cerise!  Seriously, don’t you see how crazy you’re being?”
She gritted her teeth.  “Well I guess I’m just fucking crazy then.  And I guess I’m just a prude.”
“Please don’t get all melodramatic, Cerise.  Can we please just be normal for two seconds?”
“Screw you, don’t tell me how to be.”
“And don’t tell me who I can be friends with!”
She closed her eyes and for a moment she looked completely exhausted, like the energy of having this conversation was too much to bear.  She looked at him, no longer angry, just tired.  Like this relationship wasn’t worth the effort.  Terry just knew she was going to break up with him again.
“Well you won’t have to worry about that anymore, ‘cause yeah, just forget it.  Forget everything.  Forget us.  Bye, Terry.  Have a nice fucking life.”
He let her climb the stairs, unwilling to go through this bullshit again.  But a moment later he sucked it up and ran after her.  He caught up to her on the driveway of his house.
“Really, Cerise?  You’re breaking up with me again?!”
“Well how ‘bout we make it for good this time?” she said, still seemingly exhausted.
He wanted to yell and scream and seriously punch something.  It took all his effort to keep himself from blowing up.  “Please don’t do this!” he pleaded, hating himself for begging her.  Hating himself for actually considering her ultimatum.
“Are you gonna stop seeing Andrew?” she asked.
His rage was renewed.  “No!”
“Then I’m doing this.”
He let her walk away.  He was tired too.  That girl seriously took way too much energy to deal with.  She was completely fucking insane.  When he got back to his room he slammed the door behind him and then punched the nearest wall.  His fist went right through the drywall, making a massive, fist shaped hole.  Ok, so that just happened.

Shauna was beginning to strongly suspect she didn’t like Stan anymore.  The more she thought about it the more it seemed he was a complete and total loser.  True, living here was still better than living at home but surely there was a third alternative that was even better than shacking up with a horny asshole, shithead fucknut.  Like living alone for instance.  Of course to do that she’d need to make money and to do that she’d need to get a job and she had no idea how to go about doing that and had even less motivation to learn.
She’d never mentioned the Bill incident.  The afternoon she’d woken up to find him staring at her.  She wasn’t even sure it had really happened.  Maybe she’d imagined it.  Maybe she was going totally insane.  Well, if she was it was Stan’s fault.  Living with him was totally stressful, almost as bad as living at home. 
When Stan asked if she wanted to go out to Clyde’s or something she declined, not so much because she didn’t want to go but because she didn’t want to go with him.  She braced herself for the inevitable rant and sure enough he went on and on about what a shitty girlfriend she was and how she was a mooch and how he wished she would get her shit together.
He stared at her.  “Don’t you even have anything to say?”
She shrugged in response.
“Say something!” he demanded.
“You’re right, I’m a mooch,” she confirmed.
“Fuck!  Why do I even let you live here?”
“I dunno, why do you?” she asked defiantly.
He sat down next to her on the couch and took her hands in his.  “Because I love you, Shauna.  God knows why, but I do.  Fuck, I wish I didn’t.  You’re so fucking useless.  And you’re ugly and you’re not even a good lay.  You just lie there.  No matter what’s happening you just lie there.  You know no one in the world will ever love you.  You know that, right?”
She nodded.  It was true.
“You’re lucky to have me,” he went on.  “No one else will take care of you like I do.  You have absolutely nothing going for you but I love you anyway.  I just want you to be happy.  You know that, right?”  He stroked her cheek and smiled.
She nodded.  It was true.
“So come on then,” he said, getting up and walking towards the door.  Let’s go out.”
She thought about how if he just stood a little to the left and were to suddenly fall over, he’d impale himself on that stupid pointy sculpture thing she’d picked up at a dollar store.  She’d wait until he’d bled to death before calling 911.
“Come on!” he insisted and she got up off the couch. 

It was clear that Terry was beyond angry.  He hadn’t even texted first; he’d just shown up unannounced and if he’d appeared two minutes later she’d have been in bed already.  It was sort of inconsiderate of him to barge in like that but Karine realized he needed her so she let it slide.
“So what’s up your butt?”
“Don’t make jokes right now, I’m totally pissed,” he growled, sitting down and then thinking better of it and standing up again, going to the kitchen, opening the fridge and then slamming it shut, causing the whole room to shake.
“Watch it, loser!” she snapped, opening the fridge to make sure nothing inside had shattered.
“Sorry, fuck,” he grumbled.
“So what happened?  Cherry break up with you again?”
He stared at her in disbelief.
“I was kidding!” she insisted.
“Well you’re right,” he sulked.
“Ok,” she said sympathetically, sitting on a kitchen chair.  “What happened this time?”
He sat down too and said he had no idea what had happened.  It was completely messed and she was being completely retarded and unreasonable and the whole thing got away from it and it was totally whacked out to hell.
“Ok,” she prodded.
“She’s all trying to dictate how I live my life, all like not wanting me to smoke and shit…”
“What do you expect?  She’s all little miss perfect no drugs.”
“Well she’s just worried about my health, and hers.  Like there’s a thing called third-hand smoke now apparently.  But that’s not even it.  She’s all like trying to dictate who I can be friends with!”
“That’s retarded!”
“I know!”
“But then I totally fucked up, Karine,” he whined.
Terry’s attractiveness quotient dropped about a billion percent whenever he whined about his stupid Cherry angel.
“I called her a prude,” he said sheepishly.
Karine snickered and he glared at her.
“It’s not funny!  She went ballistic!”
“Well she is a prude.”
“No she isn’t!  You don’t even fucking know how she is.  I just, fuck, I don’t even remember why I said it.  But I knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say.  I mean she’s way sensitive about that, about all that sex shit, like her inexperience or whatever.  It’s like a total sore spot and I shouldn’t have pushed it.”
“Yeah, I guess that is kind of mean,” she conceded.
“Well she said mean stuff too!” he huffed.  “And she was really being completely unreasonable!  This wasn’t my fault!”
“I never said it was!  I’m on your side here.  I mean Cerise has always been a nut job.”
“No she hasn’t!  She just has a temper and I know that and I pushed her anyways. Fuck!”
“So what?  It’s her own fault for losing her temper.”
“But that’s one of the things I like about her!  I like how intense she is.  How she takes shit so seriously.  Even though it’s fucking annoying.  But still, I shouldn’t have gotten mad.  It never goes well.”
“Oh what, so she can get mad but you can’t?  That’s total bullshit.”
“You don’t even know anything about it!”
            “Well fuck, don’t jump down my throat!” Karine scoffed.
            “Sorry.”  He slumped in his seat and ran his hands through his glorious hair.
            “So what are you gonna do?”
            “I’m not gonna fucking do anything!  She’s the one who was being all out of it!  The ball’s in her court!”
            “Ok,” Karine nodded.
            “What do you think I should do?” he asked.
            “Fuck, Terry, I dunno.  I’m not even gonna say anything.  If I say you were wrong you’ll say she was being completely unreasonable and if I side with you, you’ll go fucking nuts defending her!”
            “I’m not defending her.  She was totally wrong this time.”
            “Ok well then, don’t do anything.  Wait for her to come to you.”
            “But what if she doesn’t?”
            “Then get over it and move on?”  She said it like a question because she knew it was wishful thinking.
            “Karine!” he predictably whined.
            “Well what?  She’s been nothing but a thorn in our side ever since you met her.  Just get over it.”
            Terry folded his arms onto the kitchen table and dropped his head onto them.  She rubbed his back soothingly and wondered how long this latest break-up would last.

            “You look like you need a plug-in,” said Jay as Cerise joined him in his basement.
            She didn’t even say anything.  Just sat next to him and started crying, like actual tears, of like sadness or whatever.  It was totally weird and awkward and Jay had no idea what to do.
            “Uh, there, there?” he said, patting her shoulder.
            “I broke up with Terry,” she sobbed.
            God finally.  Jay wondered how long this supposed break-up would last.
            She stared at him and wiped her eyes.  He had no idea what to say.  About a kazillion years of awkward staring ensued and then she finally sighed and got up and left without another word.
            “Ok, well, uh bye,” he called after her.
            God, chicks and their emotions.  Crazy cakes.  Hopefully Cerise would be normal again the next day ‘cause Jay didn’t know if he could handle any more craziness.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Prologue

It was bad enough that Jojo was gaming with them now but why had he brought Cavity along with him?  The little midget and his girlfriend descended into Jay’s basement and plopped down onto the floor like they’d been doing it for years.  Granted, Jojo used to play with them when they were kids but you’d think he’d be more awkward to rejoin them after being officially kicked out.  Did he have no shame?  Maybe he thought he was the shit now ‘cause he had a girlfriend, which was admittedly pretty cool. 
Not that Jay would ever admit to being jealous of Jojo, who was still the biggest loser ever.  But still, Cavity was pretty cute, even though she was starting to get in the way, all acting like the owned the place.  How was it that some people always seemed confident and secure no matter the circumstances while others felt ill at ease even in their own homes?
Not that Jay was uncomfortable but it was a lot to take in.  At this point Lee had pretty much taken over the game, hogging almost as much air time as Vani.  And now they were allowing Jojo to resurrect his old character and even Cavity wanted to create one!  When she’d started hanging out with them it wasn’t so weird because she could hang with Cerise but after a week or so of keeping her place Cavity was making everything about her.
Vani patiently tried to steer things back to himself and his efforts to commandeer a ship, but there was nothing for it.   
“I have to roll a dice thingy, right?”
Jay could see Karl trying hard not to roll his eyes.
“Yeah,” nodded Cerise.  “You need to roll for a ton of attributes.  But you need to choose a character first.”
“Ok so anyway, I’m in the ship,” Vani went on. 
“Do I have to read all these books?” wondered Cavity.  “Can you choose one for me?”
“Silence!” Vani bellowed.  “I’m trying to destroy Betazed!”
They’d found a planet of telepaths, so they called them Betazoids, even though Karl insisted there was to be no Star Trekking in this universe.
“Which I still disagree with,” Cerise fruited.  “I don’t see what your big damage is with the Betazoids.”
“They’re telepaths!  They must all be destroyed!”
“They know what I’m thinking!”
“Is it as scary for them as it is for us?” asked Lee, totally saying the joke Jay would have said before Jay could think of it.
“So they know you’re trying to kill them,” Cerise pointed out.
“Which is why I have no time to lose!  Battle stations!”
“So can I like make a character while Vani’s killing the Betazorns?” asked Cavity.
“Yeah you guys, can Cassie make a character?” pleaded Jojo in a whine that reminded Jay why’d he’d been expelled from their group so long ago. 
Karl sighed deeply and closed his eyes briefly, as though every bit of his willpower was at work trying not to throttle these poseurs.  “Yeah I guess.  What do you wanna be?”
“I dunno, what are my options?”
Even Cerise seemed a little exasperated by the question and Vani rightly pointed out that the options were limitless. 
“Ok, relax,” Cavity snotted, perhaps offended, or perhaps just naturally bitchy.  “Why don’t you just give me an existing character to play if making a new one is so much trouble?”
It was an insanely stupid idea and yet probably their best bet.  Cavity would no doubt last only a couple of sessions at best, so no point in creating someone just for her to die two seconds later.  Willy echoed Jay’s thoughts but agreed with the plan, pointing out  that Cassie was unlikely to return to this dank hellhole ever again.
“What does that mean?” she asked, not defiantly but genuinely confused.
“Girls have no dedication to the game.”
No reply was needed since the irony was obvious but Cerise had to pull out her feminist card all the same.  “First of all, I resent that implication.  And second, Willy, you shouldn’t talk Mr. Comatose half the time.”
It was finally too much for Karl.  He told Cavity to read the Rifts manuals and to brush up on her Stargate and tried to get back to Vani and his Betazoid killing but the midget’s girlfriend handled the books like they were made of dog vomit.
“Oh, just give Cassie a red shirt and let’s get on with it,” Cerise sighed.
“Why do I need a red shirt?”
Jay really and truly hated the world and everything in it.  But then he kind of had to eat his words, or his thoughts rather, as he’d never admitted aloud that he didn’t want Cavity and her girlitude messing up their game.  In any case Cavity turned out to be pretty good with a die and seemed to grasp the rules of the game quite well.  She indeed started playing some random NPC soldier and completely rocked it.  She even got all crude and stuff, all yelling at the rest of them when they didn’t roll as well as her and swearing up a storm as she blew the brains out of various bad guys.  And she was pretty hot while doing it.  Too bad the character she was playing was a guy ‘cause otherwise Jay might have made a move on her with his character.  Well, no, he obviously wouldn’t have because that would be weird, especially with Jojo being there, and Cavity being sentient and everything but still.  If her character had been female then Jay could have at least fantasized about their characters getting together in the privacy of his own brain.  As it was he’d have to settle for a more realistic fantasy of them getting together in real life.  Not that that idea was actually more realistic but whatever; it was a bit of new material for the spank bank.