Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Act V

            They met up at the Colisée in Kirkland and saw a movie set in space that Cerise chose.  Terry picked up Karine and Cerise while Sarah and her clones arrived by bus.  The skinny blonde dude with glasses who always wore green brought the nerds in a total shitmobile.   
            As they exited the theatre, Cerise and her dorks immediately began ranting about the movie.  They were saying how it didn’t have internal consistency or something and how the space scenes were totally unrealistic.  Terry kept his mouth shut.  He’d thought it was pretty good.  In fact, he’d really liked it.  As they kept complaining, Terry exchanged a look with Karine.  She was obviously as unimpressed with their ranting as he was. 
            “I kinda liked it,” said Mel in a quiet voice.
            “Me too,” admitted Steph, looking to Sarah for confirmation.
            Sarah shrugged.  “Well, it was fun,” she said diplomatically.  “But the guys are right.  I mean, they completely ignored the laws of physics. I’m sorry, but space travel will never work that way.”
            “Exactly!” the skinny blonde dude exclaimed.  “It was wackotic!  I mean I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll forgive lens flares and sound in space, I mean all movies do it.  You suspend your disbelief.  But their fucking magical fuel source?”
            “They didn’t even try to explain the FTL.  It was just lazy writing,” agreed Sarah.
            “Because it wasn’t really sci-fi!” said Cerise with agitation.  “It starts out and you think it’s gonna be sci-fi but it just devolves into action.  It was just Die Hard in space!”
            “Yeah, it was cool,” Terry finally said.  He smirked at Cerise in amusement.  She was so cute when she took her science-fiction stuff seriously.
            Cerise laughed, as did Sarah and Karine.  The Green Girls followed suit, although they seemed less sure of what they were laughing about.  The dorks all looked at each other with knowing glances.  Terry knew they were silently telling each other that he was dumb.  They could go ahead and think it if they wanted, and maybe they were right but they were all hard-up virgins who were gonna go home that night and masturbate to fucking Star Wars porn or some shit and he was gonna go home with a real girl, so fuck them.
            “Ok, so where to now?” asked Cerise.  “You guys wanna eat?”
            They all murmured their agreement but no one had any suggestions on where to go. 
            “Ok well you guys decide,” said Sarah.  “I’m gonna to go the bathroom.”
            “I’ll go with you,” said Cerise, walking off with Sarah.
            The Greens immediately followed and after a beat, Karine shrugged and went with them as well.  The fat dude watched Cerise walk away.  All the time that she’d been talking about the movie he’d been staring at her chest.  The guy wasn’t even subtle about it; what a fucking perv.
            “Girls always go to the bathroom together,” said Hangman.
            “They’re like wolves, they travel in packs,” said the fat guy.
            “Plus they’re evil,” said Hangman.
            “Wolves aren’t evil,” said the skinny blonde dude.
            “They’re killers!” insisted Hangman.
            “Survival of the fittest,” shrugged the skinny guy.
            “They go by instinct,” noted the fat dude.
            “Vindictive by nature,” nodded Hangman.        
            “They stalk their prey, sometimes to hunt, sometimes to check out their asses,” said the fat dude while waving his fingers around.
            Hangman and the skinny dude laughed at Jason Harris, the stupid hair guy.  He was obviously embarrassed.  Probably an inside joke.  Terry wished for a moment that Karine or one of the girls had stayed behind with him.  Being alone with these geeks was weird.  Not that he was intimidated by them.  Stupid bunch of spazzes.
            “So Terry,” said Hangman, rocking on his heels.  “Tell us about Cerise.”
            Terry smirked.  “Whataya wanna know?”
            “Is she a good kisser?”
            “Vani, shut the fuck up,” said the stupid brillo pad hair guy.
            “Inquiring minds want to know,” smiled Hangman.
            “Don’t you guys already know everything about her?” asked Terry.
            “We don’t really know anything about her,” shrugged the fat guy. “Except that she’s hot.”
            Terry raised an eyebrow and stared at the fat guy.  Sure enough he turned away, intimidated. 
            “And she’s equally versed in the nuances of Star Trek and Stargate,” said the skinny one.  “And Supernatural, Ordinary Family, BSG, Dexter, Fringe…”
            “She likes TV,” nodded Hangman.  “But other than that we know nothing!”
            “We don’t even know when she was born!” said the fat guy.
            “Yesterday,” smirked hair boy.
            “She’s smarter than you,” said the skinny dude.
            “No, I mean literally.  Her birthday was yesterday.  May 5th.”
            Terry was stunned.  Yesterday had been Cerise’s birthday?  And she hadn’t even told him?  What the fuck?  All the nerds seemed equally stunned and they stared at Jason Harris and his stupid ‘fro.
            “I went to her house.  Her family had a birthday dinner for her,” said ‘fro boy smugly.
            “Oh, did you go too, Terry?” asked Hangman.
            Terry shrugged nonchalantly.  “I’m not into family shit,” he said.
            “I hear ya,” Hangman nodded sagely.  “I’m not really into family shit either.”
            The skinny guy snickered.  “You do realize that comment would sound more convincing if we couldn’t see the apron strings.”
            “Cerise says she hasn’t even told her family she’s going out with you,” said the stupid hair jerk, smirking at Terry. 
            “It’s between us, not the whole world.”  Terry narrowed his eyes, peering at the circus freak asshole defiantly. 
            “I don’t see what the big deal is.  Her mom’s pretty cool,” the shit-head smiled.
            “I’m going out with Cerise, not her mom,” said Terry condescendingly.
            “Still, kinda weird she didn’t even tell them about you,” the fucking spazzy loser shit-for-brains drawled, all proud of himself and his stupid hair.
            Finally the girls came back, all giggles and nudges and sly glances.  
            “So did you guys pick a place to eat?” asked Sarah.
            “Let’s just go to Jack Astor’s or something,” said Terry.
            The girls agreed and they all followed Terry as he walked outside, putting his arm around Cerise’s shoulders. 
            At the restaurant, Terry and the girls sat at one end of a long table and the nerds sat at the other.  But Terry spoke loudly enough that they’d hear.  He wanted that stupid hair kid to know that Cerise was Terry’s girlfriend, not his.
            “So I was thinking about grad,” he began.
            “Oh?” said Cerise with interest.
            All the girls looked up from their menus and watched Terry expectantly.
            “Yeah.  Do you want me to pick you up or do you wanna do a whole limo thing?”
            “I dunno,” Cerise shrugged.
            “Karine, aren’t the others doing a whole limo thing?” he asked.
            “Yeah,” Karine confirmed.
            “Do you wanna go in on that or just do our own thing?”
            Cerise looked to the Green Girls, who shrugged, their eyes wide.
            “’Cause I’m cool either way,” said Terry.
            “Well I’ve never been in a limo,” said Cerise.
            “But I don’t really wanna ride with Erica.”
            “Don’t worry about her,” Terry said reassuringly.  “If she gets her bitch on we can always just show her a mirror and she’ll turn to stone.”
            Everyone laughed, even the nerds.
            “But maybe we could do a limo thing with the girls,” said Cerise, indicating the Greens, who perked up, practically hopping out of their seats with excitement.  “And um, speaking of which, do you have any single friends?  Like your hockey friends?  Anyone on the team who would be free on prom night?”
            Terry smiled knowingly.  “You girls need dates?”
            “Not me,” said Sarah.  “But Mel and Steph do.”
            “I’m still available!” Hangman yelled above the ruckus of the restaurant.
            Luckily the other nerds laughed at him, so the girls didn’t have to feel so bad about rejecting him.  Mel and Steph giggled awkwardly and tried to avoid looking at Hangman.
            “But Melanie, we’re both Indian!  It’s meant to be!” he went on.
            “Um, I’m Sri-Lankan,” Mel said.  “Besides um, aren’t you Hindu?  I’m only allowed to date Muslims.”  She looked at Terry meaningfully, trying to get him to understand she didn’t mean it.
            “Don’t worry Vani, I still love you,” said the fat dude with a smirk.
            Hangman put his hand to his brow in exaggerated relief and then he and the fat dude pretended to make out.  It was gross, but pretty funny.  Terry couldn’t help laughing along with the others.
            “No but so seriously,” said Mel, leaning across the table and whispering at Terry.  “Can you like seriously set us up with a couple hot guys?”
            “Yeah like hot hockey player guys?” asked Steph pleadingly.
            Terry grinned.  “I’ll see what I can do,” he promised even though he had no idea who he’d recruit. 
            They smiled happily and Cerise squeezed his hand, clearly pleased.  That’s right, he was an awesome boyfriend.  He ordered a round of garlic bread for the table. 
            The rest of the night went pretty well.  The nerds pretty much kept themselves entertained, talking about geek stuff and Terry hung out with the girls.  He had to admit it was pretty fun hanging out with a bunch of girls.  It was different from hanging out with guys.  With guys it was always about who was coolest, but with girls there was no question.  They all thought he was cool.
Cerise and the Green Girls all piled into his backseat while Karine sat up front.  It seemed to make more sense for his girlfriend to sit in the passenger seat but Karine had called shotgun before they’d even left the restaurant.  Once he’d dropped her and the Greens off, Cerise climbed in next to him and he drove her home.  She leaned over and kissed him after undoing her seatbelt.
            “Thanks for tonight.  You know, for making an effort,” she smiled. “And thanks for getting dates for Mel and Steph.  You think you really can?”
            “I’ll try,” he said.
            “Thanks.  Ok, well goodnight.”
            “Cerise,” he began.
            “What?” she said apprehensively, sensing his mood.
            “How come you didn’t tell me about your birthday?”
            “My birthday?”
            “That Jay guy said it was your birthday yesterday.  Is that true?”
            “Yeah,” she admitted.
            “How come you didn’t tell me?”
            “I dunno.  It didn’t seem important.”
            “Of course it’s important!” he snapped, his voice rising.  “I mean what the hell?”
            She slunk back in her seat, clearly uncomfortable.  “Sorry,” she shrugged.
            He took a deep breath to calm himself down and spoke evenly.  “Cerise, we’re a couple.  We’re supposed to tell each other stuff like that.  I mean if I’d known I would have gotten you a gift.”
            “You get me gifts all the time.  I didn’t think… I mean… you don’t have to get me anything.”
            “But I want to.”
            Cerise looked at Terry but he couldn’t read her expression.  What was she thinking?  He wished she would tell him but he didn’t want to have to ask.
            “I dunno.  I guess I felt like if I told you it would be like I was asking for a gift.  Like I was grasping for attention,” she shrugged.
            “That’s so messed up, Cerise.  I mean, I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to give you attention.”
“Yeah,” she smiled.
“Well happy birthday.”
            “Don’t you wanna know when my birthday is?”
            “October 13th.”
            He looked at her in surprise.  “How’d you know?”
            “Christina told me one time.”
            They sat in silence for a moment.
            “How come you haven’t told your mom about me?”
            “That Jay guy said you haven’t told your family that we’re going out.”
            “You know, when I said I wanted you and Jay to be friends I didn’t mean bosom buddies.”
            “He was trying to prove how he knows more about you than I do,” Terry scowled.
            “Really?” she asked, stunned.
            “He’s obviously jealous.”
            “Yeah right,” she scoffed.
            “You know those dorks want you, right?  I mean the fat one at least.”
            “Eww,” Cerise gagged.
            “Terry, I didn’t think you cared about stuff like family.  Like why would you want me to tell my mom about you?  It’s not like you’ve ever asked to come in.  You’ve never even come to the door.  You always just wait in the car.”
            Terry cocked his head, conceding the point.  “Do you want me to come to the door?”
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“I will if you want me to.”
“Only if you want to.”
They looked at each other and laughed.  Terry leaned over to Cerise and kissed her. 

            Cerise changed her facebook status to “in a relationship” and Terry accepted the request.  It was totally official now.  She googled ‘prom dress’ and scrolled through the images.  All the options were whore dresses.  Did people really wear this crap? 
            “Um, eww,” said Simone, sneaking up behind Cerise.
            She spun around.  “I know, right?  All these dresses are rank.”
            “Are you looking for a prom dress?”
            “Yeah,” Cerise grinned. 
            “You’re going to prom?  Who with?” she asked, an eyebrow raised in amusement.
            “My boyfriend,” Cerise smiled, unable to contain her sense of self-satisfaction.
            You could practically hear a tire screeching as Julie ran into the room like a chicken with its head cut off.  “Since when do you have a boyfriend?”
            “Um, since the grad ski trip,” Cerise smirked.
            “Oh my god!” Julie squealed.  “Wait, is it Jay?” she asked in disappointment.
            “No, it’s not Jay.”
            “Is it the guy with the car?” asked Simone.
            “The car?”
            “Please, Cerise.  The car that’s like constantly picking you up.”
            “Yaeh, it’s the guy with the car,” she smiled.
            “I knew it!” Simone declared triumphantly.
            “What’s his name?” asked Julie.
            “Is he cute?”
            “Yeah,” Cerise grinned.
            “What does he look like?”
            Cerise tried to suppress her smug smile but couldn’t quite manage it.  “6’3”.  Blonde.  Hazel eyes.  He plays hockey so he’s pretty built.”
            Simone and Julie both looked at Cerise skeptically. 
            “Like I’m so sure you’re dating an MVP,” snarked Julie.
            “Does he have all his teeth?”smirked Simone.
“Yes!” laughed Cerise.
“Where is he on the hot scale?” asked Simone.
            A couple of years ago, the Laframboise girls had devised their own personal scale of hotness with which to judge the attractiveness of guys.  It was based on a celebrity standard. 
The first tier on the ladder was called the Degrassi rung, and it referred to boys who were totally normal looking but still cute enough to be on TV, even if it was only Canadian TV. 
The second tier on the ladder was the Disney rung, and it referred to boys like Zac Ephron and the Jonas brothers, who were pretty in a non-threatening kind of way. 
Next came the ABC rung, which referred to the cuteness on display on shows like Lost and Heroes; guys who were hot but who had stupid daddy issues or whatever, which detracted from their attractiveness. 
The next tier was the CW rung.  It referred to the blinding hotness of the men on shows like Smallville and Supernatural.  These guys were so hot that it didn’t matter if they had issues because their sheer hotness overcame all. 
The last tier was the movie star rung and it referred pretty much exclusively to Ryan Reynolds, who was not only cute and ripped but also funny and charming and Canadian.  It was acknowledged to be impossible to meet someone in real life who could reach the top tier, but Terry came close. 
            Cerise paused before answering, building the suspense.  “CW,” she said.
            “Yeah right!” they both groaned.
            “He has the height of Sam and the hotness of Dean,” she insisted.
            Her sisters stared at her in amazement.
            “Ok, show us a picture,” challenged Simone.
            Cerise spun around in her chair and logged on to facebook.  She showed them Terry’s profile.  There were several pics of Terry playing hockey and enough of him in the summer, wearing form fitting t-shirts that Simone and Julie got the point.  He really was that hot.  And just like everyone at school, they were totally jealous. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Act IV

Jay and Cerise walked to school together.  It wasn’t as warm as yesterday; it was really windy.  Cerise kept her face buried in the collar of her jacket and never once looked up at Jay.  When they got to school she started walking towards her stupid boyfriend who was with Karine.  The way Karine worked her cigarettes was so hot.  Jay was totally against smoking but he’d let her blow smoke in his face if that was what she was into.
Jay started walking into the school but Cerise stopped him.
“Wait, Jay.  Come on, join us.”
Us who?  Terry Trebislimy?  Gross.  “No thanks,” he frowned.
“Come on,” Cerise went on.  “I want you guys to be friends.  Besides, it’s a chance to bask in Karine’s presence.”
“Shut up,” said Jay.  She was right though.  This was a unique opportunity to hang out with Karine without anyone else around.  Usually she was with Erica Mackey or her jockstrap boyfriend. 
Terry Dickichavsky put his slimy arm around Cerise when she joined him.
“That was pretty classic what you said to Erica the other day,” he smarmed.
Cerise grinned.  “Well she started it.”
“And you finished it.  I’ve never seen anyone give her shit like that.”
“Except you, eh Terry?” said Karine.
“She fucking deserves it every time,” he said.
“Yeah, I gotta admit it was pretty cool.  It takes guts to take on Erica,” said Karine, tossing away the butt of her cigarette.
Jay was half tempted to pick up the butt and lick it.  Her scent would still be on it.
         There was an awkward pause as they all stared at Jay like he had no right to be there.  He had to say something.
“Yeah, I heard you were all like, you fat, you ugly.  And Erica was all, doy.  And you were all, talk to the hand, bitch.  And she was all, duh.  And you were all, and you shop at Village des Valeurs, pow!”
Karine laughed and even Terry Droolypuppy chuckled. 
“Yeah that pretty much sums it up,” Karine giggled.  “Erica is totally begging for a serious bitch slapping.”
“I’m glad we can all agree,” grinned Cerise.
“And everything you said about her is totally true,” said Karine.
“Did you tell her she smells like highlighters?” asked Jay.  “’Cause I don’t know what kind of perfume she uses but it’s kinda rank.”
Karine burst into laughter.  “Oh my god!  She does kinda smell like highlighters.  I think it’s all the product she uses for her hair.”
“It looks like an oil slick,” snarked Cerise.
“I know, it really does,” nodded Karine.
“Fuck it’s windy,” whined Terry Bigbabyscaredofwindychavsky.  “You wanna go in?”
Cerise nodded and walked into the school with the lumbering jackass.  Jay watched Karine as she lit up another cigarette and placed her lips around it sensually.  Her lips were so full, so red.  He couldn’t help imagining them curled around his penis.
“Ahh, ain’t love grand?” she smiled.
What?  How the hell did she know he was in love with her… oh, she was talking about Cerise and assface.
“You think they’re in love?” he asked, not bothering to hide his disgust.
She chuckled.  “No.  Why, do you?”
“No.  Do you?”
“I already said no,” she said, looking bored and irritated.
“Oh, right.  Sorry.”
“But I do think he really digs her.  He really, actually does.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda weird.  He doesn’t usually… I mean, I’ve never seen him like this before.  I mean he bought her candy from the States and the shipping fees were retarded.  He’s like totally into her.”
“I thought he was just…”
“What?  Using her?”
“Yeah,” Jay admitted.
“Yeah, me too.  I mean we all did.  But I don’t think so anymore.  I mean, why else would he bother?  I mean, no offence but she’s not exactly… um, super cool.  He could have anyone but he wants her.  He obviously really likes her.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“Yeah, so does she like him that much too?”
“I guess so,” Jay shrugged, allowing himself to examine Karine’s lips again.
“Right.  I mean, who wouldn’t?”
“Yeah, who wouldn’t?” Jay drawled sarcastically.
Karine laughed and her mouth opened wide.  So wide.  “Oh come on, Jay.  He’s not so bad.  I mean, I know we haven’t always been so cool with you guys but… get over it.  You gotta pull that stick out of your ass.”
Holy shit! She knew his name!  How awesome was that?  “I don’t have a stick up my ass.”
“You sure?” she giggled and grabbed Jay’s arm, twisting him around.  She looked at his butt.
Jay squirmed in embarrassment, his face hot and probably bright red.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she giggled.  “Maybe one day I’ll take a closer look.  Just to be sure.”
She tossed away her cigarette and winked at Jay before walking away.  Jay stared after her.  Holy fucking holy shitting holy hell!  Karine Cavalière knew his name and she just winked at him.  This was the best day of Jay’s life.   

Cerise and Terry entered homeroom and sat at Terry’s desk, with Cerise in his lap.  They kissed and Terry asked her to come over after school that night.
“What if we went out instead?”
“You don’t wanna stay in?” asked Terry.  “It’s fun to stay in…” he trailed off, nibbling her neck.
Each time new classmates walked in they stared at Terry and Cerise before taking their seats.
Cerise giggled.  “Yeah, but I was thinking maybe we could meet up with my friends and do stuff.”
“God, don’t look so horrified,” she snarked.
“Sorry,” he frowned.
“Look, I want you to be friends with my friends.”
“I’m already friends with the Green Girls.”
“Yeah, no but with Jay and the guys.”
He looked at her hesitantly.
“Come on!  I hang out with all your asshole friends!  You don’t even like Erica and yet I have to eat lunch with her every freaking day!  And I’m not a big fan of Andrew either.  And Christina totally ignores me, it’s pretty awkward.  Is it really such a big deal to spend one night with my friends?  I’m not asking you to hang out with them every day, like I do with your friends…”
“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point.”
“Ok then.  We could go to a movie.  That way you hardly even have to talk to them.”
Terry chuckled.  “Can Karine come too?”
“Yeah ok.  But not the rest of them, right?  I mean I’ll invite the Greens but not Erica and Andrew…”
“Yeah, just Karine.”
“Ok, cool.”

“Karine totally checked out my ass this morning,” said Jay with a smile as he joined the boys in the caf at lunch.
They all looked at him in stunned confusion.
“I just…” Karl began.  “I dunno.  Does someone else wanna field this one?”
“She checked out your ass?” asked Vani incredulously.
“You don’t even have an ass,” said Willy.
“Karine thinks I do and she totally checked it out.  She turned me around and she totally stared at my ass.”
“Because she thought she might have lost her cell phone in there?  I don’t get it,” frowned Vani.
“We were talking and she said I had a stick up my ass and I said I didn’t and then she turned me around and checked out my ass.  And then she said that one day she’d take a closer look and she winked at me.”
“She winked at you?”
“You sure she didn’t just have something in her eye?” asked Karl.
“Or maybe she was tired,” suggested Willy.
“Yeah, like how Vani always starts winking when he’s tired,” nodded Karl.
“I don’t wink when I’m tired.”
“Except that you megatastically do,” said Karl.
“You’re a winker,” agreed Willy.
“Stay on target, you guys!  Karine was flirting with me!” said Jay a bit more loudly than he’d intended.
“Um, doubtful,” said Vani.  “Like, she just came up to you in the halls and groped your ass?  Like why?”
“We were talking.  I walked to school with Cerise and we joined her and Terry at the smoking wall.”
“Oh, so it’s Terry now!” said Vani with a grin.  “Last I checked you were still referring to him as ass-breath.”
“Hmm, you seem to have a thing with asses,” mused Willy.
“Whatever,” sighed Jay.  “She’s megatronly warming up to me.”
“Yeah, she wants you,” smirked Karl.
Cerise bounded into the caf and plunked herself down next to Jay.  “So you guys wanna go see a movie tonight?  And then hang out?”
“It’s Friday,” said Karl.  “Gaming night.”
“Oh come on.  It’s gonna be a whole thing.  It’s a chance to socialize with people who don’t wear red shirts.”
“Other peeps are gonna be there?” asked Vani with interest.
“Yeah, me and Terry, and the Green Girls…”
“Sarah?” asked Karl.
“Yup,” confirmed Cerise.  “And Karine too.”  She smiled at Jay knowingly.
“Really?” he asked.
“Maybe she’ll check out your ass some more,” smiled Willy.
“What?” asked Cerise, furrowing her brow.
“Karine’s favourite new pastime is checking out Jay’s ass,” offered Vani.
“She’s an ass-checker-outer,” smiled Karl.
Jay told the guys to shut up while Cerise looked weirded out. 

“People might see us,” said Karine.
“Karine, don’t be such a snob,” said Terry with a sigh.
They were walking across the lawn slowly, taking their time to join the gang at the picnic tables.
“I don’t wanna hang out with those nerds.”
“I don’t wanna hang out with them either but Cerise makes a good point.  I mean she eats with us everyday even though Erica is totally bitchy to her all the time.  But I never hang out with her loser friends.”
“Yeah, because they’re losers.”
“Maybe they’re not so bad.”
“I’m pretty sure they are.”
“Ok fine, don’t come,” Terry sighed. 
Karine smiled sympathetically.  “No, I’ll come.”
“Yeah, I can’t let you face them alone.  I know you need the moral support,” she grinned.
He chuckled.  “Thanks.”
“Maybe it’ll even be fun.  I mean I guess that Jay guy isn’t so bad.”
“Really?  I think he’s the worst of them.”
“I dunno.  His hair freaks me out.”
“Yeah, I guess it is a little scary.”
“A little?  He’s a fucking circus freak!”
Karine giggled.  “We’d just better hope Erica doesn’t get wind of this.”
“Oh, who cares if she does?  What’s she gonna do?  Stop hanging out with us?  What a tragedy that would be,” he said while rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, but seriously, Terry.  We make fun but she does wield a certain amount of power around here.”
“Gimme a break!  This isn’t Section and she’s not Madeleine.”
“What, is that an Alias reference?”
“No, la Femme Nikita.  The old one, not the new one.  I’ve been watching it with Cerise.  Madeleine is the shit.”
“Um, ok.  Roy Dupuis has a mullet in that show.”
“He has a mullet in everything he does.  Besides, you shouldn’t talk, you pepper.”
“I don’t have French hair!” Karine exclaimed while Terry laughed.  “Anyway!  Erica will rip us a new one if she finds out we’re hanging out with losers!”
“What’s the worst she could do?” asked Terry, still chuckling.
“She could make my life hell.  I’ve seen her work.  Remember when Marla Fitzpatrick wasn’t the biggest slut in school?”
“Oh dude, have you seen her blog?”
Karine raised her brow, looking at Terry like he was an idiot.
“Well whatever,” Terry sighed.  “I won’t tell Bitchface if you don’t.”

Monday, April 18, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Act III

Terry skipped Economics and went outside for a smoke.  He was trying to quit for Cerise’s sake but for some reason being at school really made him crave cigarettes.  Maybe it was being around all his friends who smoked like chimneys.  Speak of the devil; Karine joined him at their wall, apparently also choosing to skip Economics.
“You look very content with yourself.  If I didn’t know better I might even say you were happy,” she said with a smug smile.
“Yeah, I hear it’s the latest thing,” grinned Terry.
“You really like her, eh?”
Terry sighed.  “Not another lecture about Cerise.”
“I’m not lecturing you!  I’m saying she seems to make you happy.  It’s nice to see.  Usually you’re all like smirky and shit.  Now you actually smile, just like real people.”
Terry laughed and hoped he wasn’t blushing.  “Yeah well…” he trailed off.
“Erica doesn’t like her much though.”
“Like I give a shit what that cunt thinks.”
“Terry, don’t use the word cunt, ok?  Even if Erica totally is one.”
“Anyway, she’s probably just jealous, right?” Karine snickered.
“Don’t gross me out.”  The mere thought of hooking up with Erica was enough to make Terry’s stomach turn.  Suddenly his cigarette didn’t taste so good anymore and he flicked it away in disgust.
“She and Andrew are taking bets on how long it’s gonna last.”
Terry rolled his eyes.  Of course they were.  Andrew probably assumed that Terry hadn’t made any headway at all with Cerise, since he wasn’t bragging about it.  Andrew was a fucking moron. 
“So what’s your bet?” he asked.
Karine giggled.  “I figure you’ll stay with her as long as she’ll have you.”
Terry smirked but knew that Karine was right.  And what if Cerise decided she didn’t want to keep going out with him?  How could he convince her to stay?  He’d already done everything he could think of.  He’d given her an orgasm and that had pretty much exhausted his arsenal.  Not that she was showing signs of disinterest, but still, she was unpredictable and she was walking to school with that stupid Jason Harris guy again.  Terry’s hands involuntarily balled into fists.  Every time he thought about that stupid brillo pad hair guy he wanted to punch him in the face.
At lunch, Terry went to meet Cerise at her locker and he walked with her to their picnic table outside.  He nibbled at her neck while she ate her lunch and she giggled, playfully pushing him away.  She looked great today, wearing a tight t-shirt with a plunging neckline.  It was a nice day and they all had their jackets off, except Chrissy for some reason, who was wrapped up tightly in her coat.
“Do you still graduate if you fail Economics?” asked Andrew.  “’Cause I’m totally gonna fail Economics.”
“How are you failing?” asked Erica.  “I thought you were cheating.”
“Ehh, I got too lazy to cheat.”
“Well at least cheat on the final.”
“I might fail anyway though.  So will I still graduate?”
“What’s your overall average?” asked Cerise.
“Well it’s not 93%,” snarked Erica.  “But then we can’t all be you can we, Cherry?”
“Lay off, Erica,” Terry growled, puffing himself up to look intimidating, even though he knew Erica wasn’t really afraid of him.  She knew he’d never do anything to a girl and even though Erica was a flaming harpy from hell she was still technically female.
Erica snickered and eyed Terry coolly.  Cerise’s nerd friends ran past the table and Cerise waved at them, which just made Erica snicker even more.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, Cherry, where do you get your cute little outfits?  ‘Cause I hope you know shopping at second-hand stores went back from being trendy to just being gross.”
Terry sat up even straighter and was about to tell Erica to shut up but Cerise put her hand on his leg and spoke up.
“Oh I’m sorry,” she purred.  “I didn’t realize this area was the GAP only section of the school.  I didn’t mean to disrupt your conformity with any original thought.”
“Like I’d even shop there,” Erica snorted.
“We all know it’s the only mainstream store that carries your size,” said Cerise.  Her tone was perfect; she didn’t sound sarcastic, just sweet as honey, as though she genuinely felt sorry for Erica’s fat ass.
Everyone laughed and Erica practically burst into flames. 
Cerise stood up and pointed at Erica’s hair.  “By the way, Kesha called and she wants her trailer trash roots back.  Also, some people like to use shampoo to take care of that little grease problem you’ve got going.  Just a tip.  I’ll see you later, Terry.  We’re gonna go work on the yearbook.”
Cerise walked away with her head held high and the Green Girls all followed her without missing a beat.  Terry grinned at Erica, silently daring her to say something.
“God, whatever,” she snarked.  “Bitch.  Like she should talk.  Her haircut is totally Chloe from Smallville.”
“Chloe from Smallville is hot,” offered Steven and for once Terry was grateful for his ability to speak.
“Shut up, Steven!” Erica snapped.

Mel, Steph and Sarah all laughed their asses off as they caught up with Cerise.
“That was so awesome!”
“Oh my god!”
“I know!”
“That was pretty intense, Cerise,” Sarah giggled.
“She’s such a bitch,” smirked Cerise.
“You totally put her in her place.”
“So…” Mel frowned.  “Is the GAP not cool anymore?”
Cerise shrugged apologetically as they reached student union.  The boys were sitting at their wall.
“Hey, you guys should have been there,” said Sarah.
“It was hilarious!”
“What?” asked Karl.
“Cerise just told off Erica Mackey.”
“Right in front of everyone!” Mel giggled.
“It was classic,” laughed Steph.
“What’d you say?” asked Vani.
“Nothing,” shrugged Cerise nonchalantly.
“She made fun of her clothes, her weight and her hair,” smiled Sarah.
“She said she was trailer trash!”
“She said she was like Kesha!”
“She is hideous,” nodded Karl.
“I think she’s hot,” mused Willy.
“She’s evil,” nodded Vani.
“My point is proven,” smiled Willy.
“Does that mean you’re finally gonna stop hanging out with those assholes?” asked Jay.
“Well, no,” said Cerise.
“We’re still gonna hang out with them,” said Steph.
“I mean, right?” asked Mel, obviously worried.
“Terry’s still my boyfriend,” explained Cerise.
“Well thank god for that!” said Jay sarcastically.
Jay obviously had no love for Terry and Cerise wanted to flatter herself into believing it was because he was jealous but she knew that wasn’t the case.  Or rather it was jealousy but over Karine, not Cerise.  He hated Steven just as much.  He hated anyone who got to hang out with Karine on a regular basis.  If Cerise didn’t watch out he’d start hating her too.
After school, Cerise gave Terry a quick goodbye kiss and caught up with Jay on his way home.
“Ahh, I see the surgery was successful,” he smirked.
“I don’t think I wanna know where you’re going with this,” she said.
“They managed to pry your lips off of Terry Trebishitsky’s.”
“Shut up,” laughed Cerise.  “Jealous?”
She’d said it jokingly and without thinking but Jay looked really insulted.  Really hurt.  Was it possible he did like her after all?  Maybe he really was jealous, like because of her, not because of Karine.
“Do you wanna come over for dinner tonight?” she asked suddenly, trying not to sound too eager.
“On a school night?”
“Yeah well, it’s my birthday.  My mom’s having a little thing.  She said I could invite someone.”
“Oh ok.  Yeah sure I guess.”

“What’d you wish for?” asked Cerise’s little sister when Cerise blew out the candles on her cake.
It was weird having dinner with her family.  They were all so… female. 
“If I tell it won’t come true,” replied Cerise.
“I bet I can guess.  Eh, Jay?” said Julie.
What the hell did that mean?  Jay shrugged in confusion and Cerise’s sisters giggled.
“Anyway,” said Cerise, annoyed.
“So what exciting things happened at school today?” asked Cerise’s mom.
“Nothing exciting ever happens at school, mom,” Cerise sighed.
“That’s not true,” smiled Jay, happy to contribute to the conversation.  “Cerise told off a girl today.  That was pretty exciting.  I mean, I wasn’t there but I heard about it so it must have been pretty exciting.”
“Would you shut up?” said Cerise in exasperation.
“You told off a chick?” asked her older sister.  “Cool.”
“Cerise is really good at that,” smirked Jay.
“Shut up.”
“Was it Shauna?” asked Simone.
“No, she’s branching out.  This time it was this girl Erica who’s a total bit… not nice person.  So she deserved it.”
“What’d she do to piss you off?” asked Simone.
“Well it’s ‘cause she’s the friend of…” Jay tried to go on but Cerise interrupted him.
“Would you?  Nothing.  She’s just a bitch.  She insulted my clothes so I insulted hers.  End of story.  Eat your fucking cake.”
“Excuse me!  Language!” exclaimed Cerise’s mom.
“Oh, sorry,” sighed Cerise.  “Eat your fucking baked good.”
Cerise and her sisters all snickered and Cerise’s mom rolled her eyes.  What a weird family.
It was pretty good cake and Jay had about a zillion pieces but the Raspberries didn’t seem to mind.  After putting their dishes in the dishwasher, Cerise and Jay went out to his driveway to shoot some hoops.
“God, why didn’t you just tell them my whole life story?” snapped Cerise.
“What?” said Jay, taken aback.
“Don’t tell my family about my life.”
“Why not?  They’re your family.  Don’t you tell them stuff?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“You’re so weird.”
“You’re weird.  What, do you give your parents a play by play of each day?  That’s messed up.”
“Whatever,” shrugged Jay. 
Cerise didn’t need to know that his mom practically made him recount each minute of his life in excruciating detail. 
“So what are you these days, seventeen?”
“Yep.  When’s your b-day?”
“July 29th.”
“I’m gonna be in Quebec City in July,” she said.  “Hey, so I’m like three months older than you.”
“So you should respect your elders,” said Cerise, bouncing the basketball off of Jay’s head.
He grabbed the ball and acted like he would throw it at Cerise.  She flinched and he laughed.
“So how come your boyfriend isn’t here?” he asked, shooting the ball and missing the hoop by a mile.
“You got another boyfriend I don’t know about?  How come you didn’t invite him?”
“I haven’t told my family about him.”
“How come?”
“I dunno.”
“You’re so secretive.”
She shrugged.
“You didn’t even tell us.  You know, me and the guys.  About you and Terry.  We just had to like, figure it out.”
“It wasn’t a secret.  I just didn’t change my status on facebook.  It’s not that big of a deal.”
“So if it’s not a big deal does that mean it’s not serious?” 
He avoided looking at Cerise while he asked the question so he didn’t know how she was reacting.  But she didn’t answer so eventually he looked at her.  She was holding the ball and staring at it.
“I dunno,” she finally answered.
“Well you eat lunch with him everyday.  That’s pretty serious.”
“Oh yeah,” she snarked.  “Lunch, it really defines your day.”
“Well yeah, Cerise.  It kinda does.”
“Ok fine.  So it’s serious then.  I mean, I dunno.  I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Jay.  I’m just going with the flow.  It’s not like I have a plan.”
“Well do you like him?”
“Of course I do!  I wouldn’t go out with him if I didn’t.”
“I bet plenty of girls would,” said Jay perhaps a bit more harshly than he’d intended.
“He’s nice,” she insisted.
“Oh yeah, really nice.”
“He’s nice to me.”
“Yeah?” Jay looked at her skeptically.
“Yeah!  He is.  And he’s cute and… fun and stuff.  And he asked me out.  It’s not like I had a line of guys beating down my door.  I mean, who else am I supposed to go out with?”  Cerise stared at Jay defiantly.  God, what was her damage?
“Why do you have to go out with anyone?”
“Why the hell shouldn’t I?  Like I’m just supposed to sit at home being lonely?  Like if you can’t go out with Karine then nobody can go out with anybody?”
“I am so sick of everyone throwing Karine in my face all the time!” snapped Jay.  “God, I’m just saying it’s gross, Cerise.  Terry’s a jerk!”
“No he’s not!” she snapped.  “Not with me.  He’s super sweet to me.  We watch spy shows together and then joke about working for Section.  He makes us grill cheese sandwiches and always remembers that I like it with ketchup on the side.  He buys me Jolly Rancher jellybeans off the internet because you can’t get them in Canada.  He sends me random emails telling me he misses me.  His lips are soft and his hands are warm and he knows how to touch me…”
“Ok, ok!” Jay exclaimed, throwing his hands over his ears.  “Don’t make me puke!  I get it.  He’s a dreamboat.”
“Yeah, he is.  He really, actually is.  So stop trying to make me feel bad about having a life!”
She tossed the ball aside and purposefully strode back to her house.  God, she was so dramatic.  Chicks!  Whatever.