Monday, June 13, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 15 - Act IV

            Shauna sat on her swing and threw her chips in the air one by one, trying to catch them in her mouth.  She was unsuccessful every single time.  She ate the ones that fell on her dress and after a moment ate the ones on the ground too.  They were a bit sandy but whatever, chips were chips.  She was out of beer though.  Sucked.

            The Glue Sniffers were standing way too close to the punch bowl and they had a can of dog food. They were seriously threatening to ruin Sarah’s prom.  She hadn’t worked so hard on this thing so a bunch of junkie rejects could mess everything up.
“Oh just forget it, she’s not here,” sulked Wendy, turning the can of dog chow over in her hands.
            “Seriously dude, let’s just pour it in the punch!” snickered Ben.
            “Ok, open it,” agreed Mike.
            Wendy gave the can to Ben and he shrugged.  “Dude, I don’t have a can opener.”
            “Well I don’t!” said Mike.
            “Nobody brought a fucking can opener?” shrieked Wendy.
            They all laughed hysterically and then decided to simply smash her in the head with it, whoever her was, at which point Wendy reminded them that she wasn’t here.  So they just kept laughing like idiots and rolled the dog food can along the ground, playing with it like a soccer ball.  Sarah was content to leave those losers to it, at least it would keep them busy.
            She returned to Karl and the others at the casino room, where they’d moved on to poker.
            “Everything ok?” asked Karl.
            “Yeah, just the Glue Sniffers being losers,” she replied.
            “They gonna fuck things up?”
            “No, it’s fine.”
            “’Cause I could beat them up for you,” he offered with a sly grin and lifted his arm, showing off his non-existant muscles.
            Everyone laughed.  Sarah was glad she’d chosen Karl as her date.  Turned out he could be pretty charming when he wasn’t immaturely trying to undermine her.

            She turned around to see Terry chasing after her and easily catching up.  They stood facing each other in front of the hotel.
            “What?” she demanded sourly.
            “You can’t keep running away from me,” he said nastily.
            “Why the hell not?” she snapped.
            His body language and tone softened and he stroked her arms gently.  “Look, if we’re gonna be together we can’t keep doing this.”
            “I know,” she nodded.
            “We hafta, you know… I dunno.”
            “I’m sorry I freaked.  I was just pissed.”
            “Yeah, in more ways than one,” she drawled.
            “I’m allowed to drink if I want,” he said, his posture stiffening.
            “I didn’t say you weren’t.”
            “I know you judge me.  I know you think…”
            “I don’t think anything bad of you, Terry.  You’re just freaking me out.  I’ve never seen you like this.  It’s scary.”
            Terry looked taken aback.  He stared at her, mouth agape, forehead frowning deeply.

            What could she possibly to do salvage the evening?  Karine was thoroughly bored with all of this.  Terry was gone, running after his stupid Cherry Angel, Steven was dancing with Marla Fitzpatrick, and Christina was making out with Simon Pyeng.
            Erica was still trying to make headway with Andrew, and still failing.  Karine sighed, supposing she might as well finish pwning Erica.
            “Come on, Andrew, let’s go dance,” Erica purred as she tugged on his arm.
            “In a minute, I’m on a roll here.”
            “Who cares about stupid fake casino shit?  All you win is junk.”
            “Shut up, I’m busy!”
            “I wanna dance!” Erica insisted.
            “So fucking dance then!” he shook her arm away.
            Karine sidled up to him and curled his hair through her fingers.  “Andrew, wanna dance with me?” she asked sweetly.
            He grinned widely and took her hand, abandoning his game and leading her to the dance floor.  Karine turned to gloat at Erica as she went.  Mission accomplished.  Suck it, bitch!

            “Look at him, he’s so whipped,” snarked Willy.
The casino games had lost their luster so Jay, Vani and Willy were eating the desserts off of everyone’s plates while watching Karl dance with Sarah, or rather stand stiffly with his arms slightly bent and his hands balled into fists, shaking back and forth slightly as Sarah danced around him. 
“I never thought I’d see him dance,” said Vani, seemingly impressed.
“I don’t think it counts as dancing if you don’t move,” chuckled Jay.
“He’s so whipped,” sneered Willy.
“You wish you could be so whipped,” said Jay.
Vani nodded his agreement.  “I for one would settle for a girl who’s shorter than me.  And who actually acknowledges my existence.  And you know, one who wouldn’t mind that I wouldn’t ever talk to her or have any kind of actual relationship with her.”
“Speaking on non-relationships, what happened with you and Karine?  I think she’s danced with every guy here except you.”
“Shut up,” said Jay through clenched teeth.
“Well, you didn’t lie,” smirked Vani.  “You did manage to go to prom with Karine Cavalière.  You just didn’t manage to stay with her.”
“Do you even have any evidence that this night happened though ‘cause you know we’re gonna deny it in years to come,” stated Willy.
“Seriously,” nodded Vani. “We’re gonna be old men in a fogie home and Jay’s gonna be all like, I went to the prom with Karine Cavalière, the prettiest girl in school and we’re gonna be all, you lie!  It never happened!”
“It so never happened.”
“Your mistake was aiming too high, Jay,” said Vani, resting his hand on Jay’s shoulder.  I mean you might as well pine over Summer Glau.  You have just as much chance of getting into her pants as you do Karine’s.”
“Yeah, you should’ve tried to get with Porta-potty girl, she’s more in your league,” agreed Willy and Vani snorted gleefully.
“No one asked to hear about your personal love life, Willy,” said Jay.  “Everyone knows Cerise’s stalker only went in that porta-potty ‘cause she thought it was you.”
Vani cocked his head to the side.  “I’m not sure that made any sense but I enjoyed it all the same.”
“Speaking of Cerise, where is she?” asked Willy.  “You know she danced with me,” he added, pleased with himself.
“Well I don’t see the Terrynator either,” said Vani.  “They’re prob’ly off doing the monkey dance of love or something.”

“You’re scared of me?” asked Terry, seemingly offended.  “I would never hurt you, Cerise and I’m really insulted that you’d think that of me.”
“I’m not afraid you’re gonna hit me or something,” she said, genuinely regretful for having hurt his feelings.  “It’s just that you’re freaking me out.  The way you reacted when I was hanging out with Jay was way out of line.”
His jaw clenched.  The doorman ignored them thoroughly but passersby all glanced in their direction, some even slowing their pace to eavesdrop for that much longer.
“You were acting creepy possessive,” she concluded.
“Ok, I’m sorry.  I know I’m spazzing.  Let’s just… ok,” he took a deep breath.  “You wanna go somewhere?”
“Like where?”
“My car?”
“And do what?” she asked, shocked by the implication that he might want to drive in this state of advanced inebriation.
“You know,” he said, placing his hand behind her head, tipping back her neck and nibbling on her earlobe.
She pulled away.  “God, seriously?  You think I’m gonna have sex with you now?  Gimme a break.”
“I didn’t even say that!” he bellowed.  “Fuck, you really are scared of me!  I’m not a bad guy, Cerise!  But you think I’m some kind of slimy pervert and I’m sick of it!  Sick of it!”
She was bowled over by the vitriol in his voice and equally shocked when once again he abandoned her, turning around and marching back towards the hotel.  Without missing a beat, the doorman held the door open for him, which was somehow absurdly amusing to Cerise and she laughed bitterly as Terry disappeared. 

“Monkey dance of love?” asked Willy, more grossed out than amused.
“Yeah really, monkey dance of love?” chuckled Jay.
“Yeah, Willy, I can’t believe you said that!” exclaimed Vani.
“Yeah, Willy,” said Jay, shaking his head.
“So what, you really think Cerise is off monkey love dancing with Terry?” asked Willy with more interest than was reasonable.
Vani shrugged.  “Well what else do two crazy kids do in these crazy times of crazitude?”
“The monkey love dance I guess,” said Willy.
“You’re not even saying it right,” scolded Vani.
“Shut up!” said Jay, tired of their banter.
“What’s the matter?  Just recalled a repressed memory of having engaged in the love dance with a monkey?” asked Vani.
“This prom sucks,” Jay declared.  “Look at Karine, now she’s hooking up with Andrew Pornster.  God, he’s even worse than Terry Shityshitsky!”
Willy and Vani turned to see Karine dancing with Andrew, where dancing meant groping and giggling and making Jay want to vomit.
Vani sighed.  “God, Jay, what the hell did you expect?  Ok, you know what?  You’re not allowed out anymore.  You’re even more retarded than Willy.  No more female interaction for you!”
“No more male interaction either!  I’m leaving!” Jay announced and stood up from the table, much less gracefully than intended.  He stumbled on his chair and lost his footing, catching himself on the neighbouring table.
Vani and Willy laughed their heads off as Jay walked off.  God, even his friends were assholes.  Jay’s exit was made even more uncool when he literally bumped into Terry Giantshouldersky on his way towards the exit. 
“Watch where you’re going, you fucking loser!” Terry Tequilabreathsky snarled, pushing him aside.
Jesus Christ, he was such a piece of shit!  Jay watched as Terry Neanderthalsky lumbered back into the ballroom.  No matter how long he lived, Jay would never, ever, ever understand what Cerise saw in that asshole.

“You know what I’m thinking about?” Andrew moaned into Karine’s ear as they danced.
“You in your Titania costume.”
“You’re such a lech,” she giggled.  “Your first name should be Moe.”
Andrew ignored her joke and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.  “Thinking ‘bout you in that costume got me through many a lonely night.”
“Andrew!  Gross!”
He laughed and rubbed his hands all over Karine’s back.  She pushed him away playfully and laughed along with him.

Shauna lay on the ground and arranged her empty beer cans in a crown around her head.  She stared up at a streetlamp and squinted, forcing the light to narrow.  Then she opened her eyes wide and let the light fan out.  Suddenly the light was obscured and it glowed like a halo around the head of the person standing above her.  It was an angel, a black angel, utterly darkened by the light that shone out of it like an aura.  For an instant she believed it was Cerise but then the man spoke.
“Well if it isn’t the retarded prom girl.”  It was the vendor from the dep.  “Had yourself a little party did ya?”
“I guess,” Shauna replied quietly, unmoving.
“You gonna stay out here all night?”
“What time is it?” she asked, suddenly curious if she’d missed curfew.
“Around eleven.”
“I only have an hour left ‘til curfew.”
“We’d better hurry then, eh?”
“Hurry to what?”
“Keep the party going.”
She blinked up at him, unsure of what to say.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Looks like you’re out of beer, Shauna.”
            “You want more?”
            He lowered his hand and she took it, allowing him to hoist her up.  He grunted from the effort.  “Come on,” he said and Shauna let him lead her to his car.

            What a complete fucking whore!  She breaks up with her stupid boyfriend just so she can fuck Terry but then when he doesn’t want her bony little ass she tries to hook up with Andrew?  Bitch!  Erica fumed as she watched Karine slut it up with Andrew.  They walked off together and Karine actually turned around, winking at Erica as she went.  What a fucking beyatch!  She was obviously just trying to make Erica jealous, like Erica gave the slightest shit about Andrew and his pathetic little cock. 
            Who the fuck was Erica supposed to hook up with now?  All these fucking high school boys were all rejects, total losers!  There was Terry, guzzling punch, looking hella pissed off.  What a fucking ass.  She walked up to him and watched him drink.  He glared at her.
            Popped that cherry yet?” she smirked.
            He leaned in towards her, coming very close and for a moment she thought he might actually kiss her, might grab her and take her and it would be so hot but no, he just hissed in anger.  “Go fuck yourself, you fat-assed, skanky whore.”
            It almost looked as though he would throw his drink in her face but thank god he thought better of it.  He slammed down the punch glass and walked away.  Erica quickly scanned the room to make sure no one had witnessed that scene and then walked over to the poker table with the cute dealer guy.  He was older, mid twenties, stretchings in each ear.  She played a few rounds and flirted with him aggressively enough that the other players at the table got uncomfortable and left. 
            “You get a break from this shit at any point?” she smiled.
            “Uh yeah, we pack it in in like an hour.”
            “Cool.  I’ll meet you in room 212.”
            He grinned and nodded his agreement and she walked off, shaking her hips, giving him a good preview of what was to come.

            Terry sat in his car and wondered what to do.  If he drove home as drunk as he was, Karine would for sure kick his ass.  And Cerise would never forgive him either.  He fumbled for his phone and tried to think of someone to call.  He wanted to call Cerise but she didn’t have a cell and he wasn’t about to call her house at this hour.  She probably wasn’t even home yet.  She was probably hanging out with that stupid hair guy.  Terry gripped the wheel and thought long and hard about hit and running that stupid hair guy and his stupid hair.  Fortunately he fell asleep before managing to get the keys in the ignition.

            Karine and Andrew stepped off the elevator and walked to room 212.  The whole gang had chipped in to get the room for the night.  They tried to open the door with their keycards, taking turns swiping the card and trying the doorknob and it was only after several tries and many hysterical giggles that they finally got in.
            “Nice,” breathed Karine when she saw the room.
            It was pretty swank.  Two double beds and a big TV and even a kitchenette.  The plan had originally been to bring bagels and stuff and have breakfast in the morning but with all the switcheroos about who was going with who and all that awkwardness Karine wasn’t sure that was still going to happen.  
            Andrew whistled as he peered into the mini-bar and Karine shut it with her foot.  “No way are you adding that shit to the bill!  Don’t you still have anything on you?”
            “Terry drank all my shit,” Andrew shrugged and then smiled at Karine.  “Not that we need anything to have a good time.”
            Karine squeeled as Andrew grabbed her by the waist and flung her onto the bed.  He jumped up and landed next to her.  Karine reached for the remote and switched on the TV, trying to see past Andrew’s head as he began kissing her neck.

            The dépanneur vendor brought Shauna to an apartment building and they rode the elevator up to the 6th floor.  His apartment was pretty cool.  It wasn’t that big, but big enough and it was kind of a mess, but Shauna didn’t mind.  If she lived on her own she’d let her shit pile up everywhere too. 
He introduced himself as Stan and gave her a tour.  The kitchen was just a closet really, dominated by a huge pile of dishes in the sink.  The bathroom smelled like mold and the bedroom was very small, just enough room for a bed and a dresser.  The bed was unmade and there was a porn magazine open to a picture of a girl spreading her legs.  Stan didn’t seem embarrassed by it. 
            He brought her back to the living room, which housed a big TV, some gaming consoles and a couch so ugly it must have been from the ‘70s.  Instead of a coffee table there were a couple of milk crates holding empty beer bottles. 
            Stan told her to make herself comfortable and he poked his head into the kitchen, coming back with two bottles of beer.  Shauna sat on the couch and accepted the beer.  When she couldn’t twist it open, she placed the bottlecap up against a milk crate and smacked down on it with her hand.  It popped open and Stan whistled his appreciation.  He mimicked her movements and opened his beer in the same way.  They clinked bottles and took large swigs. 
            Shauna wasn’t sure how old he was; she wasn’t very good at guessing ages.  He had to be pretty old ‘cause he was balding but his face seemed young; he still had zits.  His face was stubbly but she had no idea how many days growth this beard in progress represented.  His eyes were a sort of greyish colour and when he smiled they crinkled up at the sides.  He was sort of fat, with most of his weight concentrated in his belly and he was short, just a few inches taller than Shauna.  No one would consider this guy attractive but Shauna liked him, if only because he’d given her a beer.
“That dress uh, doesn’t do you any favours,” he said.
            “I lost a bet,” she said, shrugging and he laughed.
            “I bet you’d look better out of it,” he grinned.
            Shauna stared at Stan and kept drinking her beer.  It was pretty clear what was happening here but she wasn’t sure what the appropriate response would be.  She didn’t know how to flirt and she didn’t know how to do other stuff either.  Nor was she sure if she even wanted anything to happen. 
When she finished her beer she placed the bottle on the milk crate and smiled awkwardly.  He reached for her hair and tried to sweep his fingers through it but they got tangled.  Some sand drifted down to her shoulders and he brushed it away. 
            “I need help taking it off,” she said, turning around so he could access the zipper of her dress.  

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