Season 1 - Episode 3 - Act IV

            Shauna stood in the large kitchen of her large house.  Though no one would have known it from Shauna’s clothes or her lack of personal hygiene (she didn’t much like getting wet and so only showered a couple times a week), the Darren family was fairly well off.  Their house was by the waterfront in Pointe-Claire, their backyard leading directly to the shore of Lac Saint-Louis.

            They’d remodelled recently and their kitchen was all copper cookware and granite countertops and cupboards made from some dark wood with a swirling grain.  Her mother liked to call it her Tuscan kitchen and she obviously loved it more than she cared about her kids because they weren’t even allowed to use the microwave without permission.

            Shauna stood over the counter next to the fridge eating leftover pizza, careful not to use a plate or cutlery because then she’d have to clean them.  Even though they had an excellent dishwasher, her mother seemed to think it was important for dishes to be thoroughly rinsed before washing.

“Honestly, Shauna.  For breakfast?”

Her mother ripped the pizza out of Shauna’s hands and dumped it into the trash.  She handed Shauna a banana, ordering her to eat something healthy.

Shauna took the fruit and tried to leave but her mother caught her arm. 

“Look at yourself, you’re getting fat,” she sighed.

“I have to go to school,” Shauna said quietly, trying to move away.

Her mother held fast.  “Are you really going to wear that?  Honestly, Shauna, you look like a boy.  And a very sloppy boy at that.”

“I have to go.”

“I don’t know where you get this attitude from.  I would never have been caught dead looking so ugly when I was your age.  Don’t you even care how you look?”

Shauna shrugged and darted her eyes to the side while her mother lifted her chin and peered at her face, pushing her hair out of the way.

“When’s the last time you washed your hair?  If you would just pull a comb through that rat’s nest once in a while and wear a little makeup you might look half-way decent.  You’ll never get a boyfriend looking like this.”

Shauna shook herself free and walked away.

“Shauna!  Don’t forget your lunch!”  Her mother grabbed the brown paper bag and rushed after Shauna, pushing it into her hands.

She stuffed it into her school bag, a ratty looking thing covered in buttons for punk bands, which her mother also disapproved of.  Evil harpy bitch. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Economics?”  Terry asked Karine, joining her at their smoking wall.

“Aren’t you?” Karine countered, passing Terry her cigarette, which he puffed on and passed back to her.

It was the end of September and finally cold enough for jackets, which Terry appreciated because he wasn’t a fan of summer humidity, though he acknowledged that the warmer seasons were better for female fashions. 

“So I haven’t officially congratulated you yet,” he grinned.

“For what?” asked Karine as though she didn’t know.

“For dumping Captain Cornball.  I guess you took our conversation to heart, eh?”

“I dunno.  I guess I couldn’t see a real reason to stay with him.  I feel bad though.  I think I really hurt him.”

“Yeah, sucks for him.  Rocks for me.  So what you doing tonight?”

“Well you sure don’t waste any time.”

“So?  What you doing tonight?”

“I dunno.”

“I do.”

Terry took the cigarette out of Karine’s lips and threw it to the ground.  He cupped her face in his hands and pulled her towards him, kissing her gently.  She kissed back eagerly, her tongue darting into his mouth.  He responded in kind as her hands snaked under his jacket and up his back.  Her lips were soft and warm and she tasted of tobacco and spearmint gum. 

Suddenly she broke off the kiss and pushed him away.  “Terry, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I meant what I said yesterday.  I wanna be alone for a while.”

“You were serious?”

“Yes.”

“Gimme a break, Karine.  You’re not the type that stays alone.”

“What does that mean?”

            “You’re a party girl.”

            Karine glared at him angrily.

            “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.”

            “Terry,” she sighed.  “We can’t get together.”

            “Give me a real reason why not.”

            “Chrissy.”

            “Are you serious?”

            “You may not give a shit about her but she’s my best friend and I can’t do that to her.  She’s like, obsessed with you.”

            “And that’s my fault?”

            “Well yeah!  Partially anyway.  I mean you did apologize to her.  Now she thinks you like her again.”

            “Fuck.”  Terry leaned against the wall in annoyance.  “See I knew I should just keep being mean.  It’s the only way to get the message across.”

            “So why’d you apolotext to her then?”

            “I dunno.  I felt bad I guess.”

            “And I feel bad too.  I’m not about to totally backstab her by going out with you.”

            “But aren’t I worth it?”  Terry smiled his most charming smile.

            “Terry, you really need to get over yourself.”  She laughed and tussled his hair.

            “Hey, watch the hair!”  He pushed her away playfully.

            “Pretty boy.”

            Cerise and Sarah sat down at one of the long faux-wood tables in the school library.

            “So I’m pretty sure Weird isn’t gonna let us do it on Breaking Dawn.  So I was thinking The Handmaiden’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.  Have you read it?”  Sarah smiled.

            “Yeah totally,” Cerise nodded.  “That’s one of my favourite books!”

            “Awesome!  I was thinking we could do the debate like we’re two people from the book.  One of us thinks that the regimented, repressed society is all good.  And the other is all like, oh this society is crazy, it’s like bad.”

            “Hey yeah, that could be cool,” Cerise happily agreed.

            “Ok then!  Do you wanna work on it this Saturday?”

            Cerise wanted to say yes because this was the perfect opportunity to solidify a real friendship with Sarah but the guys were already giving her a hard time about her lack of dedication to the game.

            “I kinda have plans this Saturday.”

            “With Karl and them?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Those guys are such freaks.”  Sarah crossed her arms and sat back in her chair.

“Yeah.  I don’t know why they’re so mean to you.  They’re just like, really hateful.”

“They’re jealous,” Sarah stated with certainty.  “Karl thinks he’s like, the smartest person ever and he’s just threatened by me because I’m even smarter.”

“Yeah,” Cerise nodded.

“Guys can’t handle smart girls, so they just make life hell for them.”

“Yeah.”

“Just like in the book.  It’s the women whose lives have to suck.”

“Yeah.  Seriously.  But Karl and them are mean to guys too.”

“Yeah well,” Sarah shrugged, a smile creeping onto her lips.  “There’s also the possibility that they’re just jerks.”

Cerise giggled in agreement.  She decided to ditch the boys on Saturday and told Sarah she’d meet up with her so they could work on their project.

Shauna stared into her locker, waiting for everyone to leave so she could eat lunch in peace. 

“Boo!”

Shauna jumped and turned to see Wendy peering at her, leaning on her own locker door.

“Do you wanna see my cat again?”

“No.”  Shauna looked away.

“Why not?  Don’t like pussy?  Hah!  Could’ve fooled me!”

Shauna’s eyes darted over to Wendy.  She glared at her with as much menace as she could muster.  “Whataya want?”

“The real question is what do you want?”  Wendy smiled sweetly and lifted a pierced eyebrow.

“What?”

“Well, you look kind of… how can I put this?  Dead.”

Shauna frowned.

“You look like you could use something,” Wendy went on.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you need?”  Wendy stuck her hand in the pocket of her very long coat and lifted it up, waving the pocketed hand through the air.

“What do you have?”  Shauna was beginning to catch on.

“How much you got?”  Wendy took a step back and lowered her head, looking at Shauna appraisingly.

“Enough.”

“Then I have whatever you want.”

It was the best offer Shauna had had in… forever. 

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Act III

            “I refuse!”  Willy insisted.  “I refuse to do it!”

            “You’ll have to do it,” stated Cerise.  “Everyone who’s gonna graduate has to do it.”

            Cerise and the boys were walking to Jay’s house after school for another gaming session.

            “Was it pain?” Vani wondered.

            “It was total pain.  You’ll see.”

            “Square dancing?”  Jay seemed scared.  “It’s like some sort of evil Nazi torture device.”

            Karl was equally dismayed.  “Just when I think the crazytude of this place can’t get any more wackotic.”

“Totally,” nodded Cerise.  “It was like watching someone getting maimed and then being maimed oneself and then being forced to main puppies and kittens.”

“Pain,” Willy nodded.

“Crazy pain,” Jay confirmed.

“Pure pain,” Karl sighed.

“Super mega pain,” Vani slumped his shoulders.

Karine and Steven sat on the couch in front of the TV.  The remains of their pogo sticks and Lipton Sidekick dinner were sitting on the coffee table along with some magazines and several remote controls.  Video on Trial was playing in the background while Steven kissed Karine’s neck.  She was enjoying the sensation of his lips against her throat but her eyes were half open, trying to see which Britney video Trevor Boris was mocking.  Steven pulled away from Karine and stroked her hair affectionately, love very plainly in his eyes.

“You know, if you got pregnant, I’d totally marry you.”

“What?!”  Karine made no effort to hide her horror, jumping away from Steve.

“I’m just saying…”  Steven looked worried.

“I’m on the pill, Steve!”

“I’m just saying if it happened I’d totally support you.  I love you.”

“Oh my god, Steve, I’m not gonna marry you.  Christ!”

“I’m just saying!  I mean don’t you love me?”

Karine shook her head in exasperation.  “Look Steve, if I got pregnant I’d get an abortion so fast you’d never even know it happened.”

“You wouldn’t even tell me?”  Now he was angry.

“I am so not having this conversation.”  Karine turned to the TV and picked up the remote, turning up the volume. 

“God, I don’t get why you’re so pissed.”  Steven placed his arm on Karine’s knee.  “I’m trying to be nice.”

“Please, seriously.  Let’s just drop it.  I’m not in the mood for this.”

“For what?”

“For fucking anything!” she yelled.

Steven was shocked and sat back, looking at Karine with concern.  He asked her if she was ok.  She relaxed and insisted she was fine.  It was just that school and work were starting to get to her.

“It’s more than that,” Steven guessed.  “Why are you being so weird lately?”

“How am I being weird?”  Karine struggled to keep her voice even.

“You’re always being like, all bleh all the time.”

“Just because I don’t wanna get married and have kids…”

“Forget that.  It’s just that you’re always all whatever.”

“What does that mean?”

“I dunno.  You’re being all weird and distant and like not tired but like, I dunno, bored?”

Karine tucked her legs under her and looked down.  “Well, I dunno.  Maybe I am bored.  Maybe I’m sick of like, everything being the way it was last year.  And the year before that.”

“What do you mean?”

“God, we’ve been together for like ever.  Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

“Sick of what?”  The panic in Steve’s voice was evident.

“The same old thing all the time.  Don’t you ever get… ennuyé?”  She didn’t want to say the word ‘bored’ but couldn’t think of an appropriate synonym so she chose the French equivalent.

“So you are bored?”

“Aren’t you?” Karine whispered.

“No!”  Steven took Karine’s hand.  “Not at all.  I’m happy.  Aren’t you?”

            Karine slowly pulled her hand away.  “Not really.”

            “Well I’m sorry I’m not exciting enough for you.”  His voice was high and angry.

            “Well I’m sorry too.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            “It means… I want to just… stop for a while.”

            Steven sounded choked up.  “Stop what?” 

Was he crying?  Karine looked up at him and he turned away, a hand furiously wiping his cheek.  Karine didn’t want to hurt him any further but she couldn’t stop now.  “Us,” she breathed.

“Are you breaking up with me?”  He looked at her, no longer trying to hide the tears.

“I just think I maybe need to try being alone for a while.”

“I was just kidding with the marriage thing!  I mean, we don’t have to break up!  I was just saying!  I love you Karine!  I love you so much!” 

He was crying for real now and wiping the palms of his hands over his eyes, gulping for breath.

“Steven, I’m so sorry.  I don’t want to hurt you.  I care about you a lot and you’ve always been the best boyfriend.”  She rested her hand on his shaking shoulder.  “But it’s been two years and I’m the only serious girlfriend you’ve ever had.  Don’t you want to see what other girls are like?”

“No!” he yelled, horrified.  “I want you!”

“Come on, Steve.  Seriously.  Did you think we were gonna stay together forever?”

Steven jumped up from the couch and stomped out of the room.  Karine followed him to the front door, where he was furiously trying to get his sneakers on. 

“We can still be friends,” Karine smiled.  “We can still hang out.”

“You’re such a fucking bitch!”  Steven yelled as he ran out the front door and struggled to get on his bike.  Karine watched him ride away, still crying.

            “She looks kind of upset today,” Jay remarked.

            “Who?” asked Cerise.

            “Karine.”

            She hadn’t been at the smoking wall this morning.  All her friends were there, even her stupid boyfriend but she was conspicuously absent.  Jay thought she might have been sick today but then he saw her at her locker, looking kind of sad.  Maybe she was fighting with her friends.  That Erica Mackey chick was a pretty serious bitch so maybe she said something mean to Karine to hurt her feelings. 

            Cerise looked at Jay like he was retarded and he insisted that he hadn’t been paying attention or anything but that he’d just noticed, not from trying to notice, just randomly, that Karine looked kind of out of it today, but he didn’t really care, since it didn’t really matter and anyway, Cerise’s character in the game was doing pretty shitty and she needed to start taking a more active role and earn some experience points so she could get a proper gun.

            Cerise agreed to come over every day after school so she could earn that gun.  They started walking to class but ran into that asshat, Steven Reid.    

            “What are you looking at?” he demanded.

            “Nothing,” Jay said meekly while stepping aside to give the asshat room to pass.

            Completely unprovoked Steven banged his fist on Jay’s hand, forcing him to drop his math book and pencil case.  Then he walked away all proud of himself like it was a big accomplishment to be such an asshole.

            “God, what an ass,” remarked Cerise while picking up Jay’s stuff.

            “I know!”  Jay cradled his hand, trying not to let Cerise see how much it hurt.  “Karine can do so much better.”

Meet me in the fishbowl ASAP!

Karine sent the text to both Erica and Christina and then waited impatiently for them to show up.  When they did, they asked what the big deal was and why she hadn’t been at the wall in the morning. 

“I broke up with Steve.”

Christina gasped and Erica laughed. 

“For serious?”  Christina sat next to Karine, her mouth still open in surprise.

Erica sat in the chair across from them and declared the news to be hilarious.

            “God Karine, why?” Christina whined.

            “I told you yesterday!  I’ve been feeling like I needed a change.”

            “Well it’s about time,” smirked Erica.  “Let me be the first to congratulate you, Karine.  You’re finally ready for the big leagues.”

            “What does that mean?”  Christina asked.

            “We’re totally going clubbing this Friday and we’re all gonna hook up!”

            “We do that all the time anyway,” said Christina in undisguised annoyance.

            “But this time Karine won’t be a skanky whore cheating on her loser boyfriend when she sucks some random guy’s cock.”

            “Nice.”  Karine rolled her eyes.  She would have denied cheating on Steven but there was that one time last year when she’d gotten a bit drunk at a club and a guy in University had picked her up and she’d gone to his apartment and they’d sort of hooked up.  She hadn’t done anything major with him, just… well ok, it had been pretty major.  They’d had full on sex but they’d used a condom so it barely counted.

            Word travelled fast at BHS and by second period pretty much everyone knew that Karine Cavalière and Steven Reid had broken up.  Jay was ecstatic.  Finally Karine had come to her senses. 

            They were in Enriched English and Karine seemed fine.  She was texting with her phone when she’d come in but Mr. Weir always made them hand in their cell phones before class so she’d had to stop.  Now she was sitting at her desk, twirling her hair in her fingers.

            Weir was explaining that their book reports had to be presented as debates so they’d be paired up into teams of two.  They could choose whatever book they wanted to do the report on but Weir had to approve it first.  Sarah wanted to know if the debates had to be a pro and con type thing, like one person saying the book is good and the other saying it’s bad.  Weir said that the presentations didn’t have to be book reviews.  They could also explore an issue in the story and debate two sides of it.  Then Sarah asked if the debates could be like a play with each person taking on the persona of a character in the book and whatever, sometimes Sarah really was too much of a brown-noser.

            When she was done finding out exactly what was and wasn’t allowed, Weir took a coffee cup off of his desk and said that he’d filled it with everyone’s names.  They would draw for their partners.  Everyone groaned but Jay knew he had a better chance this way than if they could choose their own partners. 

            Since the class was organized alphabetically, Vani was the first to choose.  He picked Jonah Cupryk.  Nice.  Vani was obviously pissed but Jojo looked pleased enough.

Karine was next.  She dipped her hand into the cup and Jay worked very hard to telekinetically float his name to the top.

Don’t be Jay.  Don’t be Jay.  Don’t be Jay.  Don’t be me either.  And really don’t be Jay.  Cerise repeated this mantra in her head as she stared at Karine’s hand fishing through the cup.

Karine lifted out a piece of paper.  “Jason Harris,” she sighed with obvious disappointment.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

            “It’s fate!  I mean how else do you explain it?”

            Cerise and the boys all rolled their eyes as Jay bounced up and down in his cafeteria seat. 

“I just can’t believe it!  Karine and me!  Partners!”

“It’s just a stupid English presentation,” Cerise sighed. 

She seemed to be unreasonably unsupportive during Jay’s time of triumph.  Jay told them how mega the situation was because they had a month to work on their presentations.  Just think of how many meetings it would take to do it all!  First they had to pick the book and then read it and then decide what the debate would be about and they would need to practice and everything.  This situation was definitely mega.

“Yes, yes.”  Vani rolled his eyes.  “We’re all very happy for you.  Meanwhile I’m stuck with frakking Jojo!”

“I’m just glad I wasn’t paired up with Sarah,” said Karl.  “I thought for sure the Universe would want to kick me in the ass and stick me with her.”

“I don’t know what your big damage is against Sarah,” Cerise frowned.  “I’m glad I got paired up with her.  She’s smart.”

“It’s Enriched English.  Everyone is smart.  I mean relative to the other lamebots in this school.”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded.  “Everyone thinks Karine is dumb because she hangs out with those chucks but she’s totally smart.  She did a presentation on Greek mythology in grade 9 and it was like, really good.”

“Do you keep a scrapbook of Karine memories or something?” Vani smirked.

“Of course he does,” Karl said matter-of-factly.  “We’ve all seen the shrine.”

“There’s no shrine!” Jay protested.

“Isn’t there, Jay?  Isn’t there?”  Karl lifted an eyebrow.  “Are you sure you don’t have a picture of her tucked under your pillow?  Or perhaps a secret file on your computer, with a whole bunch of pics of her, which you’ve photoshopped into nakeditude?”

Jay denied it and hoped they couldn’t tell he was lying.

“Jesus Christ,” Willy smirked.  “You’re worse than Cerise’s stalker.”

“Hey, she’s not stalking me…” Cerise began but Willy went on.

“You seriously need to get over your Karine obsession.”

“Look I admit I like her but I’m not obsessed ok?  I just think the Universe is trying to tell me something here.  I mean this could be my chance!”

Karl pressed his hand to his forehead as though developing a headache.  “Are you seriously so delusional that you think she’s gonna go for you now just because she broke up with Jocky McStereotype?  I highly doubt she’s all celebrating the fact that she got paired up with you.”

“I don’t even have the energy to deal with this shit!” Karine exclaimed.  “I mean Jason fucking Harris? Eww.”

The group was sensitive to the recent break-up, so they positioned themselves on their picnic table so that Karine and Steven would be sitting as far away from each other as possible.  It still wasn’t far enough.

“Who gives a shit that you got stuck with him?” Steve spat out.  “You’re the one who took Enriched English in the first place and everyone in that class is a fucking nerd so no shit you got stuck with a loser. It’s your own fucking fault!”

“Chill.”  Karine narrowed her eyes.

“I can’t stand your fucking constant whining!  I need to get out of here!”  Steven jumped up from the table and stomped away.

Terry couldn’t help but be amused.  Sure, it sucked for Steve but come on, Karine had simply done what she’d had to do.

“God, bitter much?” Erica said it amusement.

“Can you blame him?” asked Christina.

“Come on, what’d he expect?”  Terry smirked, eyeing Karine.  “She wasn’t about to stay with him forever.  A chick this hot has to spread the joy.”

Andrew laughed and got up to stand behind Karine.  “Aww yeeah, my turn right?”  He thrusted his crotch towards her head.  

“Like even!” she squealed, punching Andrew in the thigh.

“So who are you gonna hook up with now?”  Erica asked slyly.

Karine claimed she wasn’t going to hook up with anyone, that she just wanted to be alone for a while but Terry knew better.  He smiled at her and she smiled back.  She’d obviously taken their diner chat to heart.

Shauna finished another crappy sandwich and stuffed her empty juice box onto her locker shelf.  She walked through the deserted hallways of the school, enjoying the stillness during lunch hour, when almost everyone was outdoors or in the cafeteria.  She hadn’t meant to walk in that direction but before she knew it, she was outside the caf.  Cerise was sitting with all those guys and they were smooshing food onto the table.  Cerise looked grossed out but she was also laughing.

Maybe if Shauna were to casually walk by the table, they wouldn’t notice her.  She could just walk behind Cerise as though she were going to the lunch line, it wouldn’t be a big deal.  She would just get close enough to be in the same air space.  She wouldn’t touch her or anything.  Maybe just smell her.  Just close enough to reach out a hand and stroke the collar of her shirt.  Maybe the tips of her hair would lightly breeze over Shauna’s fingers if she just let her hand dangle in the air.

Shauna knew she would never do such a thing but she inched forward anyway.  Slowly, imperceptibly, she crept into the cafeteria and towards the table.  She kept to the wall, there was at least a metre separating her from Cerise.

Suddenly they were all jumping up and running away.  Cerise didn’t look in her direction, she simply ran off, literally sprinting as though Shauna’s mere presence had been enough to not only scare her away but all of her friends as well.

Shauna stepped up to the table and looked at the mess covering it.  She wondered if any of this trash held the remains of Cerise’s meal.  Had any of it been touched by her hands or maybe even her lips?

“Is this how we treat school property?”

Shauna looked up in confusion to see Mr. Weir looking down at her in angry disapproval.  He scanned his hand over the mess and asked her what it was about.  She stammered and claimed not to know but he told her to clean it up.  He stood there staring at her as she found some napkins and wiped up the mess, gooey mashed potatoes mixed with juice and something else even grosser. 

Shauna hoped very strongly that Mr. Weir would get arrested for child abuse and go to jail and get ass-raped by a guard and get AIDS and die and have maggots eat his eyes out.

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Act II

            “Time to get up!”

            Shauna was startled awake.  She’d been dreaming.  She was in school and she had to get to class but she couldn’t find it.  All she could find were stairs.  Every time she turned the corner there was another staircase but it never led to her class.  Shauna didn’t know why her dream self wanted to find her classroom so badly.  In real life she’d be happy if she didn’t have to go to school. 

Her mother left her bedroom door open and walked away.  In five minutes she would be back to pull the covers off of Shauna’s body.  Shauna felt paralyzed.  She couldn’t face another day.  She didn’t want to sit in front of her locker at lunch, eating alone.  She didn’t want to go to gym, where Cerise would ignore her.  She didn’t want to go to Economics, where Erica Mackey would call her a disgusting loser.  She wanted to grab Erica Mackey’s hair the next time she saw her.  She would pull her hair until it was yanked out of her skull.  Bald Erica Mackey would shriek in pain and fall backwards onto the floor, her scalp spurting blood.  Everyone would walk over her, stepping in her blood and leaving red footprints on her body.  She would be howling in pain and everyone would laugh and laugh and laugh.

“Up, up, up!”  Shauna’s mother pulled the blankets off the bed. 

Shauna climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to pee.  Back in her room, she fell on her bed and crawled under the covers.  Her mother eventually came back and yelled at her, pushing her to the floor.  The bus would be here in ten minutes.  Shauna grabbed the first clothes she could find, the same outfit she’d worn the day before.

She sat towards the front of the school bus.  There was less likelihood of someone pushing her or saying something to her if she was close to the driver.  She absentmindedly rubbed her shoulders as she waited to get to school.  For some reason her shoulders were always sore.

She stepped off the bus with her head down and the boy behind her pushed her aside.

            “Get out of the way, skank!”

            Shauna stumbled and rushed aside.  She kept her head down as she walked into the school.

            Erica lit up and leaned against the smoking wall.  “So Chrissy, made any good voodoo dolls lately?”

            “Funny,” Christina said tightly.

            Karine changed the subject, asking Erica what was up with her.  Erica talked about how her mother was giving her a hard time lately.  She’d finally seen Erica’s navel ring and wanted her to remove it, which was totally random since she didn’t seem to mind the tongue ring.  But maybe she’d never noticed the tongue ring since she was so out of it half the time anyway.

            When Andrew and Steve joined them, Andrew commented that he’d never seen Erica’s belly button ring and she lifted her shirt to show him.  He pulled at her top, pearing down at her cleavage and asking if she had nipple rings as well.  She pushed him away while laughing.

            Terry walked up to the group lazily, a cigarette between his lips.

            “Well look who it is,” sneered Erica.

            Everyone braced themselves.

            “Terry, have you seen any good voodoo dolls lately?”  Erica smiled sweetly.

Christina froze, panic in her face.          

“What?” Terry peered at Erica quizzically. 

            Erica was about to say something else but Karine deflected her interest by asking her to elaborate on her mother’s dislike of her piercings. 

            “I dunno, fuck,” Erica shrugged.  “That’s how mom’s are.  I mean most moms.  You’re seriously like so lucky your mom is never around, Karine.  I wish mine would leave me alone all the time.”

            “Yeah,” Karine nodded and Steven put his arms around her.

            “Speaking of which, when are you having a party?” asked Andrew.

            “I dunno.  My mom’s gone for like, most of October.”

            “Cool, it’s about time we have a party,” Andrew grinned.  “Oh hey, check it out: Lard-ass and Jihad.”

            Andrew jumped in front of two of those nerd guys as they were trying to get into the school.  He shoved them aside, telling them to watch where they were going.  The Indian kid almost fell and he grabbed the fat kid for support.  Then the fat kid pushed the Indian kid away and they kept punching each other as they went inside.

            Cerise walked into the girl’s locker room hesitantly.  She hated gym.  There was so much potential for humiliation.  She was always among the last to be chosen for teams and having to undress in front of other people was like some sort of Jack Bauerian torture tactic.

She chose a locker a respectable distance from Karine Cavalière and her friends.  Close enough to eavesdrop, but not so close as to really be noticed.  They were talking about a party or something and Christina Penna wanted to make it a costume party since it was going to be in October but Erica Mackey thought that was totally gay, not just because Halloween was at the end of October and the party had to be earlier than that, but because they weren’t in the fourth grade anymore.

Christina then suggested they make it a birthday party for Terry and Cerise learned that his birthday was the 13^th of October.  Erica accused Christina of being completely obsessed and called her a retard who needed to get the fuck over it and stop making voodoo dolls and shit.  Karine thought a birthday party wasn’t such a bad idea but pointed out that Terry would probably prefer to go to Clydes and play pool for his b-day so the party at her place should just be a regular party. 

It was no wonder Jay was completely insane for her.  Karine looked like she could be a model.  As Cerise changed out of her military shirt and jeans, she spied Karine changing out of her miniscule jean skirt into equally skimpy shorts.  Her tank top was replaced with a tight tee.  Her legs were long like a gazelle’s and muscular, tight and fit.  How could she be so thin and yet still have such large breasts?  How come some people got to be perfect and others looked like wet sacs of dog vomit?  Cerise made sure to suck in her gut as she quickly pulled down her jeans and replaced them with track pants.

How could she be so beautiful?  It wasn’t even possible for a human being to have such perfect skin.  Yet there she was, her shapely legs long and creamy white like milk, suddenly exposed as she pulled down her jeans.  She lifted her tiny foot and pushed it into the leg of her track pants, bending slightly at the waist, her soft, round bum pushed out, covered by nothing more than the thin, blue cotton of her underwear.  She put the other leg through and pulled up the pants, covering all that perfection.  She had two adorable dimples on her lower back, right above her bum, still visible over the waistband that hugged her silky hips.  The curve of her back was like an invitation to a caress.  The muscles in her shoulders flexed as she pulled off her shirt.  She was like a marble statue, so flawless, so glossy.  Her lithe arms swam through the sleeves of her gym shirt as it was pulled over her head.  She shook out her hair, her delicate fingers pushing through the silky soft strands of gold.  Even the act of tying her shoes was somehow sensual.  Her nimble fingers flying as they pulled the shoelaces tight.  The tendons in her hands dancing up and down like the strings in a piano.

Cerise slammed her locker shut and Shauna held her breath as she walked by.  Shauna’s eyes darted around, hoping no one had noticed her staring at Cerise’s half naked body.  Gym hadn’t even started and already she was sweating.  She waited until all the other girls in the locker room had entered the gym.  Shauna always waited to be alone before changing.  Not that she even changed that much.  She kept the same t-shirt on and only replaced her cargo shorts with jogging pants and her docks with running shoes. 

“What would you do if you got a chick pregnant?”

Every boy in the locker room heard him and they all looked up in unison.  Seeing that Andrew Lester had asked the question, they went back to changing, unsurprised.

“You got a chick pregnant?” Steven shook his head at Andrew.

“Again?!”  Terry was incredulous.

“No!” Andrew insisted, turning away from the guys to fiddle with his gym shirt.

“Yeah right,” Terry scoffed.  “You prob’ly have a million bastard kids running around Montreal by now.”

“It’s a hypothetical question,” Andrew insisted.

“Who did you knock up?”  Terry sighed while pulling on his track pants.

“It’s hypothetical!  Forget it.”

Steven sat on a bench and tied his shoes.  “Why do you wanna know what we’d do?  ‘Cause if I got Karine pregnant I’d totally marry her.”

Andrew and Terry stared at Steven in amusement. 

“Gimme a fucking break,” Terry chuckled.

“Well what would you do?” Steven asked, annoyed.

Terry thought about it for a moment.  “Well I guess it depends on what the chick wanted.  I mean obviously I’d be like, abortion, hello?  So if she was cool with that then I’d take her to get it done.  But if she wanted to keep it I’d be a dad I guess.  But if she wanted to go all Juno and sell it to the highest bidder I don’t think I’d be into that.  Unlike Andrew I’m not cool with having my spawn running around and like, not even know them.”

“So you’d like, be involved?” Andrew asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” stated Terry like it was obvious.

“Easy to say when you’re not in that situation.”

“Ok seriously, who’s pregnant?  Does she go here?”

Andrew sighed as he slumped down on the bench and picked up his running shoe.  “No, she doesn’t, ok.”

“Hah!” Terry exclaimed triumphantly.  “I knew you were talking about a real thing.”

“So who is she?” asked Steven as several boys in the locker room casually stood around, closing their lockers very slowly and inaudibly. 

“No one new.  The same chick from grade 8.”

“You got her pregnant again?” Steven asked.

“No, retard!”  Andrew fumed.  “She had the kid!  I figured she’d get an abortion but like all of a sudden she shows up at my house with her stupid kid and she’s all trying to make me give her money.”

“Shit,” Terry breathed.

“You haven’t seen her in all that time?  I mean the kid must be two by now.” Steven’s eyes were wide.

“Look, how do I know he’s even mine?  She’s just trying to scam me.  The kid doesn’t even look like me.  I mean he’s black.”

“Dude!”  Terry practically screamed.  “She’s black!  You know you’re the father.”

“She could have fucked a million guys at that party for all I know!”

“Wait.” Steven held up his hand.  “She said she was getting an abortion but then didn’t?”

“Well, she didn’t really say she was gonna, but I figured she would.  I mean who has a kid when they’re fourteen?”

“Dude.” Terry frowned.

“Fuck, she’s obviously just some slutty scam artist, I mean right?”

“Fuck dude, you are a serious asshole.” Steven looked appalled.

“Seriously.  Dude.”  Terry looked at Andrew with disapproval.

“Fuck you both,” Andrew slammed his locker closed.  “That bitch is a fucking slut and her stupid ass kid isn’t even mine!”

“Dude,” Terry restated the word slowly.  “You gotta man up.  You have to pay her like, child support or something.”

“Yeah,” Steven agreed.  “If I got Karine pregnant I’d totally marry her.”

            Ms. Rosenbaum was fiddling with a stereo system from the ‘80s as the class sat around lazily.  The Green Girls were hanging out with Marla Fitzpatrick and Cherry the Raspberry was leaning against a wall all alone, examining her fingernails.  She was such a loser.  Not as bad as the greasy girl but still.

            The bell had totally rung but Terry, Andrew and Steven still hadn’t emerged from the locker room.  They were probably making plans for Karine’s party, just as Erica and Chrissy were trying to do.  Erica kept trying to solidify a date for the event but Karine was noncommittal.  She confessed that she was tired lately and wasn’t sure she even wanted to throw a party.  Erica and Chrissy were appalled of course. 

            “I dunno you guys… listen,” she leaned in towards the girls.  Erica and Chrissy mirrored her movements.  “I’ve kinda been thinking about Steve lately.”

            “What about him?” asked Chrissy.

            “Well we’ve been going out since like, Sec 3.  Which is pretty much like, forever.”

            “So that’s awesome,” said Christina.

            “It’s pathetic,” drawled Erica.

            “Why?” Christina wondered.

            “It’s called variety.  Look into it.”

            “Exactly,” Karine agreed.  “It’s like maybe I should move on.”

            “But you guys are like, the perfect couple,” Chrissy protested.

            “Perfectly disgusting,” Erica chuckled.

            “I think it’s sweet,” Chrissy smiled.

            “I think it’s boring.” Erica’s face was distorted in its patented smirk.  Her eyelids drooped and her right eyebrow, overplucked into a thin line rose while the left side of her mouth edged up in amusement.  “I would never want to tie myself down to one guy.”

            Like she even could. 

“I kinda think Erica might be right,” said Karine.  “Being with the same guy for so long sorta is kinda boring.”

            Christina was unconvinced.  “Well I liked having a boyfriend.  If I could get back together with Terry, I like, totally would.”

            “Yeah good luck with that,” Erica’s smirk turned into a laugh. 

            “Oh my god, there he is!  He looks so cute in track pants!”

            Terry had entered the gym with Andrew and Steve.  They were deep in conversation and Terry looked sort of angry.  Andrew was trying to ignore him.  Erica told Chrissy to get over her voodoo doll obsession or she would rip out her eyes with her bare hands but Chrissy was right, Terry did look cute in track pants.

"Ok people.  Try to look alive,” Ms. Rosenbaum interrupted Karine’s reverie with her booming voice.  “Today will be everybody’s favourite.  Square dancing.”

Rosenbaum pushed a button on the stereo and the lamest music ever started playing.  Everyone in the class groaned in horror.  Square dancing?  Was she serious?

“Woohoo!”  Andrew yelled and turned his arm as though swinging a lasso.  “A hoe-down!  That means I’m gonna get down with a ho!  Get it?”

“This is sooo lame,” Erica sneered.

“Ok, ok.  Settle down,” Rosenbaum stopped the tape.  Yes, it was actually a cassette tape, like from the Stone Age or something.  “I know nobody wants to do it but it’s a tradition.  At graduation there’s always a ceremonial square dance.  And as potential graduates it’s something you’re just going to have to learn.”

“Ceremonial square dance?”  Erica was livid.  “That’s retarded!”

“I didn’t invent it,” Rosenbaum sighed in irritation.  “I just teach it.”

“It’s a stupid tradition that nobody likes!”  Erica went on.  “I say we trash it this year.”

Everybody in the class hooted and clapped in agreement.

“Yeah!  Square dancing is for squares!”  Andrew did a goofy jig to emphasize his point while the others laughed in appreciation.

Rosenbaum told them that if they wanted to change the tradition she wasn’t the one to complain to.  Erica wondered why they had to learn it so soon, considering graduation wasn’t for another eight months.  Rosenbaum explained that they’d be learning the basics now and would practice the dance a few times a month until graduation.

“Oh my god.  This is like totally fascist,” Erica fumed.

“Fight the power!”  Andrew pumped his fist into the air.

“Fascist or not, you still have to learn it!  So come on.”

The teacher forced everyone to get into groups of six, with three boys and three girls.  Shauna immediately started panicking.  No one would want her in their group.  The cuntnugget and all her friends made a group and the ethnic girls were with some random guys.  Cerise paired up with a curly haired chick and three boys.  They still needed a third girl.  Shauna walked towards them slowly, her eyes pleading.  Cerise and all the kids in her group looked completely grossed out but everyone else was in a group so they had no choice. 

They had to stand boy, girl, boy, girl and hold hands.  The boys flanking Shauna definitely sneered with disgust when they had to touch her.  They all had to walk in a circle, first walking to the right and then to the left.  Cerise looked bored and annoyed and she made a face to the curly haired girl and they both giggled.  Her laugh was like an angel plucking the strings of a harp.  Except more evil.  ‘Cause Cerise was totally a bitch.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Terry groaned.

Christina smiled up at him, probably elated to be holding his hand, even if it was during such a lame dance.  Karine had to admit to herself that she didn’t mind holding his hand either.  It was big and soft and strong, more so than Steven’s. 

“Come on you guys!  Doe-see-doe!”  Andrew was skipping ahead of the beat and he flapped his arms wildly, almost lifting Christina off the floor as he yanked on her hand. 

They all laughed and Rosenbaum had to physically push his arms down.  She told him to behave and he pretended to look scared.  This wasn’t actually so bad.  It was retarded of course but so far this was a lot more fun than their usual gym classes.

The boy holding Shauna’s right hand dropped it.  “God, why don’t you sweat a little more?  Gross.” 

He wiped his hand on his shirt and the boy holding her other hand did the same.  Everyone in Shauna’s group snickered, even Cerise, that fucking bitch.  Rosiebum walked up to them all pissed off like she was having an aneurysm.

“Let’s try not to look completely horrified by this experience, people.  Let’s see some smiles.  And hold hands, people!  I swear to fu… hold hands!”

“But she smells!”  The boy to Shauna’s right stepped away from her and protectively tucked his hands behind his back.

Everyone laughed and laughed and never stopped laughing.  The cuntnugget and all her friends were doubled over, their mouths wide like evil devil people watching an execution.  Cerise was just like the rest of them, laughing her ass off, backing away from Shauna like she had AIDS or something.  Shauna hated them all.  They would all burn in agony when she locked them all in the school and set it on fire.