Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Act V

            They met up at the Colisée in Kirkland and saw a movie set in space that Cerise chose.  Terry picked up Karine and Cerise while Sarah and her clones arrived by bus.  The skinny blonde dude with glasses who always wore green brought the nerds in a total shitmobile.   
            As they exited the theatre, Cerise and her dorks immediately began ranting about the movie.  They were saying how it didn’t have internal consistency or something and how the space scenes were totally unrealistic.  Terry kept his mouth shut.  He’d thought it was pretty good.  In fact, he’d really liked it.  As they kept complaining, Terry exchanged a look with Karine.  She was obviously as unimpressed with their ranting as he was. 
            “I kinda liked it,” said Mel in a quiet voice.
            “Me too,” admitted Steph, looking to Sarah for confirmation.
            Sarah shrugged.  “Well, it was fun,” she said diplomatically.  “But the guys are right.  I mean, they completely ignored the laws of physics. I’m sorry, but space travel will never work that way.”
            “Exactly!” the skinny blonde dude exclaimed.  “It was wackotic!  I mean I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll forgive lens flares and sound in space, I mean all movies do it.  You suspend your disbelief.  But their fucking magical fuel source?”
            “They didn’t even try to explain the FTL.  It was just lazy writing,” agreed Sarah.
            “Because it wasn’t really sci-fi!” said Cerise with agitation.  “It starts out and you think it’s gonna be sci-fi but it just devolves into action.  It was just Die Hard in space!”
            “Yeah, it was cool,” Terry finally said.  He smirked at Cerise in amusement.  She was so cute when she took her science-fiction stuff seriously.
            Cerise laughed, as did Sarah and Karine.  The Green Girls followed suit, although they seemed less sure of what they were laughing about.  The dorks all looked at each other with knowing glances.  Terry knew they were silently telling each other that he was dumb.  They could go ahead and think it if they wanted, and maybe they were right but they were all hard-up virgins who were gonna go home that night and masturbate to fucking Star Wars porn or some shit and he was gonna go home with a real girl, so fuck them.
            “Ok, so where to now?” asked Cerise.  “You guys wanna eat?”
            They all murmured their agreement but no one had any suggestions on where to go. 
            “Ok well you guys decide,” said Sarah.  “I’m gonna to go the bathroom.”
            “I’ll go with you,” said Cerise, walking off with Sarah.
            The Greens immediately followed and after a beat, Karine shrugged and went with them as well.  The fat dude watched Cerise walk away.  All the time that she’d been talking about the movie he’d been staring at her chest.  The guy wasn’t even subtle about it; what a fucking perv.
            “Girls always go to the bathroom together,” said Hangman.
            “They’re like wolves, they travel in packs,” said the fat guy.
            “Plus they’re evil,” said Hangman.
            “Wolves aren’t evil,” said the skinny blonde dude.
            “They’re killers!” insisted Hangman.
            “Survival of the fittest,” shrugged the skinny guy.
            “They go by instinct,” noted the fat dude.
            “Vindictive by nature,” nodded Hangman.        
            “They stalk their prey, sometimes to hunt, sometimes to check out their asses,” said the fat dude while waving his fingers around.
            Hangman and the skinny dude laughed at Jason Harris, the stupid hair guy.  He was obviously embarrassed.  Probably an inside joke.  Terry wished for a moment that Karine or one of the girls had stayed behind with him.  Being alone with these geeks was weird.  Not that he was intimidated by them.  Stupid bunch of spazzes.
            “So Terry,” said Hangman, rocking on his heels.  “Tell us about Cerise.”
            Terry smirked.  “Whataya wanna know?”
            “Is she a good kisser?”
            “Vani, shut the fuck up,” said the stupid brillo pad hair guy.
            “Inquiring minds want to know,” smiled Hangman.
            “Don’t you guys already know everything about her?” asked Terry.
            “We don’t really know anything about her,” shrugged the fat guy. “Except that she’s hot.”
            Terry raised an eyebrow and stared at the fat guy.  Sure enough he turned away, intimidated. 
            “And she’s equally versed in the nuances of Star Trek and Stargate,” said the skinny one.  “And Supernatural, Ordinary Family, BSG, Dexter, Fringe…”
            “She likes TV,” nodded Hangman.  “But other than that we know nothing!”
            “We don’t even know when she was born!” said the fat guy.
            “Yesterday,” smirked hair boy.
            “She’s smarter than you,” said the skinny dude.
            “No, I mean literally.  Her birthday was yesterday.  May 5th.”
            Terry was stunned.  Yesterday had been Cerise’s birthday?  And she hadn’t even told him?  What the fuck?  All the nerds seemed equally stunned and they stared at Jason Harris and his stupid ‘fro.
            “I went to her house.  Her family had a birthday dinner for her,” said ‘fro boy smugly.
            “Oh, did you go too, Terry?” asked Hangman.
            Terry shrugged nonchalantly.  “I’m not into family shit,” he said.
            “I hear ya,” Hangman nodded sagely.  “I’m not really into family shit either.”
            The skinny guy snickered.  “You do realize that comment would sound more convincing if we couldn’t see the apron strings.”
            “Cerise says she hasn’t even told her family she’s going out with you,” said the stupid hair jerk, smirking at Terry. 
            “It’s between us, not the whole world.”  Terry narrowed his eyes, peering at the circus freak asshole defiantly. 
            “I don’t see what the big deal is.  Her mom’s pretty cool,” the shit-head smiled.
            “I’m going out with Cerise, not her mom,” said Terry condescendingly.
            “Still, kinda weird she didn’t even tell them about you,” the fucking spazzy loser shit-for-brains drawled, all proud of himself and his stupid hair.
            Finally the girls came back, all giggles and nudges and sly glances.  
            “So did you guys pick a place to eat?” asked Sarah.
            “Let’s just go to Jack Astor’s or something,” said Terry.
            The girls agreed and they all followed Terry as he walked outside, putting his arm around Cerise’s shoulders. 
            At the restaurant, Terry and the girls sat at one end of a long table and the nerds sat at the other.  But Terry spoke loudly enough that they’d hear.  He wanted that stupid hair kid to know that Cerise was Terry’s girlfriend, not his.
            “So I was thinking about grad,” he began.
            “Oh?” said Cerise with interest.
            All the girls looked up from their menus and watched Terry expectantly.
            “Yeah.  Do you want me to pick you up or do you wanna do a whole limo thing?”
            “I dunno,” Cerise shrugged.
            “Karine, aren’t the others doing a whole limo thing?” he asked.
            “Yeah,” Karine confirmed.
            “Do you wanna go in on that or just do our own thing?”
            Cerise looked to the Green Girls, who shrugged, their eyes wide.
            “’Cause I’m cool either way,” said Terry.
            “Well I’ve never been in a limo,” said Cerise.
            “But I don’t really wanna ride with Erica.”
            “Don’t worry about her,” Terry said reassuringly.  “If she gets her bitch on we can always just show her a mirror and she’ll turn to stone.”
            Everyone laughed, even the nerds.
            “But maybe we could do a limo thing with the girls,” said Cerise, indicating the Greens, who perked up, practically hopping out of their seats with excitement.  “And um, speaking of which, do you have any single friends?  Like your hockey friends?  Anyone on the team who would be free on prom night?”
            Terry smiled knowingly.  “You girls need dates?”
            “Not me,” said Sarah.  “But Mel and Steph do.”
            “I’m still available!” Hangman yelled above the ruckus of the restaurant.
            Luckily the other nerds laughed at him, so the girls didn’t have to feel so bad about rejecting him.  Mel and Steph giggled awkwardly and tried to avoid looking at Hangman.
            “But Melanie, we’re both Indian!  It’s meant to be!” he went on.
            “Um, I’m Sri-Lankan,” Mel said.  “Besides um, aren’t you Hindu?  I’m only allowed to date Muslims.”  She looked at Terry meaningfully, trying to get him to understand she didn’t mean it.
            “Don’t worry Vani, I still love you,” said the fat dude with a smirk.
            Hangman put his hand to his brow in exaggerated relief and then he and the fat dude pretended to make out.  It was gross, but pretty funny.  Terry couldn’t help laughing along with the others.
            “No but so seriously,” said Mel, leaning across the table and whispering at Terry.  “Can you like seriously set us up with a couple hot guys?”
            “Yeah like hot hockey player guys?” asked Steph pleadingly.
            Terry grinned.  “I’ll see what I can do,” he promised even though he had no idea who he’d recruit. 
            They smiled happily and Cerise squeezed his hand, clearly pleased.  That’s right, he was an awesome boyfriend.  He ordered a round of garlic bread for the table. 
            The rest of the night went pretty well.  The nerds pretty much kept themselves entertained, talking about geek stuff and Terry hung out with the girls.  He had to admit it was pretty fun hanging out with a bunch of girls.  It was different from hanging out with guys.  With guys it was always about who was coolest, but with girls there was no question.  They all thought he was cool.
Cerise and the Green Girls all piled into his backseat while Karine sat up front.  It seemed to make more sense for his girlfriend to sit in the passenger seat but Karine had called shotgun before they’d even left the restaurant.  Once he’d dropped her and the Greens off, Cerise climbed in next to him and he drove her home.  She leaned over and kissed him after undoing her seatbelt.
            “Thanks for tonight.  You know, for making an effort,” she smiled. “And thanks for getting dates for Mel and Steph.  You think you really can?”
            “I’ll try,” he said.
            “Thanks.  Ok, well goodnight.”
            “Cerise,” he began.
            “What?” she said apprehensively, sensing his mood.
            “How come you didn’t tell me about your birthday?”
            “My birthday?”
            “That Jay guy said it was your birthday yesterday.  Is that true?”
            “Yeah,” she admitted.
            “How come you didn’t tell me?”
            “I dunno.  It didn’t seem important.”
            “Of course it’s important!” he snapped, his voice rising.  “I mean what the hell?”
            She slunk back in her seat, clearly uncomfortable.  “Sorry,” she shrugged.
            He took a deep breath to calm himself down and spoke evenly.  “Cerise, we’re a couple.  We’re supposed to tell each other stuff like that.  I mean if I’d known I would have gotten you a gift.”
            “You get me gifts all the time.  I didn’t think… I mean… you don’t have to get me anything.”
            “But I want to.”
            Cerise looked at Terry but he couldn’t read her expression.  What was she thinking?  He wished she would tell him but he didn’t want to have to ask.
            “I dunno.  I guess I felt like if I told you it would be like I was asking for a gift.  Like I was grasping for attention,” she shrugged.
            “That’s so messed up, Cerise.  I mean, I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to give you attention.”
“Yeah,” she smiled.
“Well happy birthday.”
            “Don’t you wanna know when my birthday is?”
            “October 13th.”
            He looked at her in surprise.  “How’d you know?”
            “Christina told me one time.”
            They sat in silence for a moment.
            “How come you haven’t told your mom about me?”
            “That Jay guy said you haven’t told your family that we’re going out.”
            “You know, when I said I wanted you and Jay to be friends I didn’t mean bosom buddies.”
            “He was trying to prove how he knows more about you than I do,” Terry scowled.
            “Really?” she asked, stunned.
            “He’s obviously jealous.”
            “Yeah right,” she scoffed.
            “You know those dorks want you, right?  I mean the fat one at least.”
            “Eww,” Cerise gagged.
            “Terry, I didn’t think you cared about stuff like family.  Like why would you want me to tell my mom about you?  It’s not like you’ve ever asked to come in.  You’ve never even come to the door.  You always just wait in the car.”
            Terry cocked his head, conceding the point.  “Do you want me to come to the door?”
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“I will if you want me to.”
“Only if you want to.”
They looked at each other and laughed.  Terry leaned over to Cerise and kissed her. 

            Cerise changed her facebook status to “in a relationship” and Terry accepted the request.  It was totally official now.  She googled ‘prom dress’ and scrolled through the images.  All the options were whore dresses.  Did people really wear this crap? 
            “Um, eww,” said Simone, sneaking up behind Cerise.
            She spun around.  “I know, right?  All these dresses are rank.”
            “Are you looking for a prom dress?”
            “Yeah,” Cerise grinned. 
            “You’re going to prom?  Who with?” she asked, an eyebrow raised in amusement.
            “My boyfriend,” Cerise smiled, unable to contain her sense of self-satisfaction.
            You could practically hear a tire screeching as Julie ran into the room like a chicken with its head cut off.  “Since when do you have a boyfriend?”
            “Um, since the grad ski trip,” Cerise smirked.
            “Oh my god!” Julie squealed.  “Wait, is it Jay?” she asked in disappointment.
            “No, it’s not Jay.”
            “Is it the guy with the car?” asked Simone.
            “The car?”
            “Please, Cerise.  The car that’s like constantly picking you up.”
            “Yaeh, it’s the guy with the car,” she smiled.
            “I knew it!” Simone declared triumphantly.
            “What’s his name?” asked Julie.
            “Is he cute?”
            “Yeah,” Cerise grinned.
            “What does he look like?”
            Cerise tried to suppress her smug smile but couldn’t quite manage it.  “6’3”.  Blonde.  Hazel eyes.  He plays hockey so he’s pretty built.”
            Simone and Julie both looked at Cerise skeptically. 
            “Like I’m so sure you’re dating an MVP,” snarked Julie.
            “Does he have all his teeth?”smirked Simone.
“Yes!” laughed Cerise.
“Where is he on the hot scale?” asked Simone.
            A couple of years ago, the Laframboise girls had devised their own personal scale of hotness with which to judge the attractiveness of guys.  It was based on a celebrity standard. 
The first tier on the ladder was called the Degrassi rung, and it referred to boys who were totally normal looking but still cute enough to be on TV, even if it was only Canadian TV. 
The second tier on the ladder was the Disney rung, and it referred to boys like Zac Ephron and the Jonas brothers, who were pretty in a non-threatening kind of way. 
Next came the ABC rung, which referred to the cuteness on display on shows like Lost and Heroes; guys who were hot but who had stupid daddy issues or whatever, which detracted from their attractiveness. 
The next tier was the CW rung.  It referred to the blinding hotness of the men on shows like Smallville and Supernatural.  These guys were so hot that it didn’t matter if they had issues because their sheer hotness overcame all. 
The last tier was the movie star rung and it referred pretty much exclusively to Ryan Reynolds, who was not only cute and ripped but also funny and charming and Canadian.  It was acknowledged to be impossible to meet someone in real life who could reach the top tier, but Terry came close. 
            Cerise paused before answering, building the suspense.  “CW,” she said.
            “Yeah right!” they both groaned.
            “He has the height of Sam and the hotness of Dean,” she insisted.
            Her sisters stared at her in amazement.
            “Ok, show us a picture,” challenged Simone.
            Cerise spun around in her chair and logged on to facebook.  She showed them Terry’s profile.  There were several pics of Terry playing hockey and enough of him in the summer, wearing form fitting t-shirts that Simone and Julie got the point.  He really was that hot.  And just like everyone at school, they were totally jealous. 

No comments:

Post a Comment