Friday, April 8, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Act I

            Cerise couldn’t spot Terry or the girls when she entered the caf, so she sat down with the guys.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa les moteurs!” exclaimed Vani.
            “What?” she asked.
            “You’re sitting with us again?”
            “Yeah, what happened to the Green Girls?” asked Karl.
            “And Terry Suckichavsky?” pouted Willy.
            Cerise smirked and rolled her eyes, waiting for the boys to finish.
            “You think you can just ditch us in favour of greener tidings and spiky haired boyfriends and then come back like nothing ever happened?” asked Vani.
            “Well, yeah,” shrugged Cerise.
            “Ok, just making sure,” nodded Vani.
            “So what’s up?” asked Cerise with a smile.
            She looked over at Jay but he seemed to be avoiding eye contact.  Or maybe he was just really into his sandwich.
            “People are still totally mega calling me Hangman!  It’s awesome!  You know how in Degrassi a bunch of characters have nicknames?  Like Spinner?  I’m the new Spinner!”
            “You just admitted you watch Degrassi,” said Karl with a raised brow.
            “Hey, Degrassi’s cool,” insisted Vani.  “The chicks on that show are way hot.  I would totally do all of them at once.”
            “No you wouldn’t.”  Karl rolled his eyes. “You’re too chicken-shit to even do yourself lest your mother catch you.”
            “She has eyes everywhere!”
            “Eww,” gagged Cerise.
            Fortunately she was spared further exploration into the masturbatory habits of the guys when Terry walked in and sat next to Cerise.  The boys all stared at him in awe, or perhaps horror.
            “Hey,” said Terry, kissing Cerise on the nose.
            She giggled and returned the greeting, ignoring the boys’ grossed out faces.
            “It’s warm out so everyone’s eating outside,” said Terry.
            “Ok,” smiled Cerise, standing up with Terry.  “See you guys later.”
            “See ya, Terry,” ventured Vani.
            “Later, Hangman,” smiled Terry as he led Cerise away.
            Jay narrowed his eyes and looked at Vani, who seemed to be on the verge of a particularly homosexual orgasm. 
            “Terry just called me Hangman!” he gushed.
            “I’m eating!” bellowed Willy in disgust.
            “What the fuck?” snarled Jay.  “She thinks we’re just gonna be her like interim friends?  Like she can just sit with us when she feels like it and then go off with Ass-breath whenever she wants?”
            “Apparently,” shrugged Karl.
            “At least she’s still talking to us,” said Willy.
            “We shouldn’t have to put up with that shit,” snarled Jay.
            “Why the reversal?” asked Karl.  “When I wanted to pull a prank on her and the Greens you were all like anti, anti and now you’re all trash talking her?”
            “I didn’t want us to do a prank because I thought she still wanted to be friends with us!”
            “But she does still wanna be friends with us!” enthused Vani.  “And she’s bringing her new friends!  Terry is totally gonna be my new BFF!”
            Jay snarled in disgust.  “God, stop sucking Terry Cockikowsky’s cock!  I hate him!  And if Cerise wants to hang out with him then she can’t hang out with us!”
            “You’re right,” nodded Karl.  “No one in this group is ever allowed to socialize with anyone who isn’t at this table!  If ever another girl is charitable enough to actually be seen with us in public I say we shackle her to the table and blindfold her so she can never come into contact with any other people!”
            “Huzzah!  Never again shall Cerise be allowed to become friends with cool people.  She signed a contract after all,” chuckled Vani while Willy snorted his tater tots.
            “She’s being a frakking two-timer!” insisted Jay.
            “A two-timer?” sighed Karl.  “Jay, she isn’t your girlfriend and you don’t own her.  If she wants to hang out with Greens and Cools that’s her business.”
            “We should make her like do stuff if she wants to hang out with us again,” said Willy.
            “Don’t even continue with that train of thought…” Karl interrupted.
            “Like suck my…”
            “What are you losers complaining about?” asked Vani, incredulous.  “Cerise getting in with the ins is awesome!  That she is still willing to speak with us in public means we are now that much closer to being in ourselves!”
            “I don’t wanna be in with the ins!” Jay insisted.
            “Jay, get your head out of your ass!  Terry Trebichavsky just sat at our table, however briefly and responded favourably to my acknowledgement of him.  He didn’t try to beat me up and he didn’t insult any of us.  Cerise going out with him is the best thing that has ever happened to us!”
            “You know, Andrew Lester and Steven Reid haven’t been beating up on us lately,” noted Willy.
            “This has actually been a pretty kick-ass year,” said Karl.
            “All you guys care about is yourselves!” spouted Jay.  “You don’t even give a shit that Cerise is going out with a total skeeve!”
            “Quit the selfless act, Jay,” sighed Karl.  “Your hate of Terry Trebichavsky is motivated purely by jealousy.”
            “I’m not jealous of that loser.”
            “Yeah you are, we all are,” said Willy.  “He gets to mack on Cerise and we get to roll dice.”
            “Shut up!  I don’t even like Cerise in that way,” insisted Jay.
            “Give it up.  We all like Cerise in that way,” said Willy.
            Jay gave up.  There was no point in continuing the conversation.  The guys just didn’t get it.

            “And what is with the fucking prep squad?” sneered Erica as Terry approached the group.
            He was with Cherry and all her little Green followers.  They sat at the next picnic table over, since there wasn’t enough room for all those spazzes at their table.  They all dug into their paper bag lunches and Terry shared a giant bag of ketchup chips with them.  God, how inconsiderate, didn’t he remember that Karine hated ketchup chips?  Not that he was offering any to Karine’s table.
            “Seriously,” nodded Christina.  “They’re like always around now.”
            “Sarah’s ok,” said Karine.
            “They’re all ok,” shrugged Steven.
            “Hey, the Green Girls are fine.  Let’s just be glad Cherry’s nerd friends aren’t along for the ride too,” said Andrew with relief.
            “No shit, god.  Can you imagine?” asked Erica.  “I would die.  I would totally die!”
            “No shit,” agreed Christina.  “The fat one creeps me out.”
            “They’re all creepy, and gross and ugh!  Why are we allowing this to happen?” hissed Erica.
            “Allowing what?” asked Karine.
            “This!” yelled Erica, throwing her arms out at the other table.
            Terry, Cherry and the Green Team all turned and stared at Erica.  She sighed and flipped her hair in irritation.
            “So why don’t you do something about it then if you’re so annoyed?” asked Karine in a lowered voice.
            “Well why don’t we?” said Erica.
            “What do you have in mind?” wondered Andrew.
            “Well it’s all Terry’s fault.  I say we cut him off.”
            “Cut Terry off?” scoffed Andrew.
            “Like stop hanging out with him?” squealed Chrissy.
            “Yeah, I mean why should we have to hang out with those losers just ‘cause he does?”
            “What’s so bad about them?” asked Steven.
            “Steven!” snapped Erica.  “We’re trying to have a conversation here, do you mind?”
            Steven sighed and lit a cigarette.
            Karine couldn’t help but chuckle at Erica’s suggestion.  “So you’re gonna give him an ultimatum?  Stop dating Cherry or you’re out?”
            “Yeah,” smiled Erica, obviously pleased with herself.
            Karine shook her head, amazed that Erica could be so clueless.  “God Erica, you are so out of touch.  Like he’d even give a shit.”
            “Yeah seriously,” agreed Andrew.  “This is Terry we’re talking about, not Steven.”
            “The fuck?  How come I’m taking so much shit today?” asked Steve.
            “Terry would throw a fucking parade if you tried to cut him off, Erica.  But go ahead and try.  I’d really like to see how that would play out,” said Karine without bothering to hide her amusement.
            “Would you now?” snarled Erica.
            “Get over yourself,” said Karine.  “Like there’s even anything wrong with Sarah or her clones.  I noticed you were pretty friendly towards her when she was taking pictures for yearbook.”
            “Oooh, touché,” chuckled Andrew.
            “Whatever,” sneered Erica.
            “Yeah, whatever,” smiled Karine, getting up and joining Terry at his table. 
Andrew stood up as well and he forced Chrissy, Erica and Steven to also get up.  He dragged their table closer to Terry’s and they all sat back down.  Erica had no choice but to join them.

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