Monday, December 12, 2011

Season 2 – Episode 7 – Act II

            Cerise felt like shit.  Part of her felt sad and guilty that she’d hurt Terry but another part was angry that she’d ended up apologizing to him for having sex with another guy.  They were broken up! She could do whatever and whomever she wanted!  Still, he had a good point.  He’d never pressured her and her fears when with him had been pretty lame.  No doubt losing her virginity would have been a lot more special and enjoyable if she’d done it with him.  Being with Tom was pretty much one of the biggest mistakes she’d ever made and she had no idea how to get out of it now.  More than ever she wanted to get back together with Terry but she had so completely fucked everything up that she seriously had no idea where to even start. 
            With classes officially over the school was deserted and the Munch Box wasn’t even open but the gang had gathered there anyway, buying lunch from vending machines.  Cerise didn’t even have an exam that day but everyone else seemed to so she’d agreed to come to school just to hang out.  It was a good excuse to not be alone with Tom, who was similarly unencumbered by exams. 
            They’d spent the last two days in the library working on all their final essays, which Cerise would have preferred to write at home but Tom wanted them to be together so Cerise made sure Cassie would also be there.  For probably the first time ever, Cerise had no problems with procrastination when it came to schoolwork.  It was amazing how much she could accomplish when she was avoiding being alone with her boyfriend. 
            In the meantime he’d managed to completely infiltrate her life.  Karl was over his heartbreak enough that they’d started gaming again and Tom had recently made a character.  Good for him but shitty for Cerise.  Now it would be even harder to dump him. 
            As they ate chips and chocolate bars, Vani talked about all the awesome things they’d do over the holidays while Jay periodically interrupted to complain about how he wouldn’t be available on this or that date because of familial obligations in Toronto.  He was always duly mocked, which just made him all the more whiny.  Was it Cerise’s imagination or was Jay becoming more annoying as time went by?  She mused that it was probably a good thing he was getting on her nerves because that meant she was officially over him once and for all.  Although… it was pretty cute the way he absent-mindedly yanked on his hair every time he complained about exams or other things that were stressing him out.  As a result of all the recent hair yanking, the curls near his forehead were sort of stretched out and the frizzy bangs constantly flopped over his eyes.  It looked absolutely ridiculous and the boys had made a point of ribbing him about it nearly a zillion times that day alone.  Of course this just made him fuss with his hair all the more.  Why didn’t he just cut it?  He probably hadn’t seen a pair or scissors since grad last year.  His afro would soon be spilling over into mullet territory if he didn’t get it under control soon.
“Hey you!”
They all looked down the hall and saw Lee running towards them, his trench coat flapping behind him.  He ran towards them purposefully, looking angry as usual but just as he reached their table he kept going and ran right past.  They all laughed and he came skipping back.  Cassie greeted him enthusiastically and Vani made some comment about how he hadn’t gamed in a while.  He retorted with some nonsense about killing lab rats or something.
            “We’re all going to Karl’s cabane for Christmas!  Well not for actual Christmas but at some point during the break. You should totally come!” Cassie gushed.
            “You’re all going?” Lee inquired.
            “Apparently,” drawled Karl with obvious annoyance.
            “Ok well I guess that’d be cool.  I assume it’s BYOB.”
            “It’s bring your own beer, it’s bring your own food, it’s bring your own fucking sleeping blanket if you intend to not freeze to death.  It’s not a fucking chalet, people, you understand that, right?  It’s a literal log cabin.  It’s not gonna be comfortable or fun or anything.”
            “Obviously,” sighed Vani.
            “It’s gonna be one long gaming session and if that’s a problem for anyone they are perfectly welcome to not come!”
            “So beach blanket bingo then?” Lee smirked.
            “Yeah!” laughed Cassie, hugging Lee’s arm with affection while he looked down at her like she was a fungus. 
            God, what an asshole.

            Terry liked the school in this state: quiet and nearly empty.  It was a relief not having to wait in line at the cafeteria.  He’d taken to eating in the caf since he’d abandoned the Munch Box.  Sometimes he’d eat outside but it was getting a little chilly for that.  On Tuesdays his schedule had worked out with Morgan and two other guys from their hockey team so they’d all eat together and on Thursdays he ate with Karine.  They’d already organized their schedules for next semester so they’d still have Thursday lunches together. 
He thought he’d be eating alone today but suddenly there was Karine and Sarah, joining him at his large, empty table.  He asked Karine what she was doing there since she didn’t have any exams and she said she’d come to use the library.  Sarah happily announced that she’d just finished her last exam, which she’d undoubtedly aced.
  Terry welcomed them brightly.  He liked having lunch with chicks because it made him more attractive to other chicks.  Some girl in his anthro class who’d been the only person to stay in the exam room as long as him was totally checking him out from across the caf.  She wasn’t particularly cute but hey, every chick had a cunt and practically any cunt was worth fucking.

            “Is this whole cabin in the woods thing at Christmas seriously gonna be one long gaming session?” asked that Tom guy, Cerise’s new boyfriend.  “’Cause like that’s cool and all but I hope we’ll do some other stuff too.”
            He nuzzled Cerise’s neck and she giggled dutifully but was it Jay’s imagination or was she sort of not into it?  As much as he hated Terry Trebitoolazytocomeupwithamean-nicknameatthemomentsky he had to admit that Cerise always seemed totally into his constant and disgusting public displays of grossitude.  Jay definitely liked Tom better than Terry Trebidoesheevenstillexistisurehopenotsky but this guy was also sort of a drip.  He’d made a character in the game but he wasn’t much of a gamer.  In fact he seemed to have no purpose whatsoever.  Wasn’t he in a band or something?  How utterly hipster and emo and pretentious.  Jay was pretty sure he should expend a little more energy hating this guy; though at the moment he could barely muster the effort to acknowledge his existence. 
            Cerise and her new beau walked off together hand in hand and Willy declared the scene to be vomitorius.  Jay concurred.
            “Damage?” asked Vani.
            “This Tom guy’s not much better than Terry,” Willy grumbled.  “What’s with Cerise and guys with T names?”
            “What’s wrong with Tom?” asked Vani.  “He seems utterly inoffensive.  In fact my only problem with him is how bland and unmemorable he is.”
            “How is he bland?” asked Cavity as though offended.  “He’s like borderline goth and he’s in a band, a geek band.  I would have thought you guys would be totally into that.”
            “And yet he’s utterly forgettable,” shrugged Vani.  “Cerise can do better.  And she has.  Fortunately I’m confident she’ll eventually get back together with Terry, as their pre-established pattern suggests.”
            “Well I think Cerise and Tom make a totally cute couple,” Cavity huffed indignantly.
            “He’s a drip,” Willy snorted.
            “You think everyone’s a drip,” said Karl, “which is ironic considering the source.”
            Willy was about to say something but Karl wouldn’t let him.  He went on to say that Tom was indeed in a band and even though it was a geek band, it was still a very mainstream activity to engage in and therefore worthy of their scorn.  That he would try to geekify something so clearly associated with non-geekitude smacked of pretension.
            “Yeah it’s like he wants it both ways.  He wants to be a geek but he also wants to be cool, which signifies that he is a nouveau-nerd,” Vani expanded.
            “What does that mean?” asked Cavity.
            “Karl explained.  “Nerd culture is becoming more acceptable but only in the most cursory way.  Every normal out there thinks of himself as a geek because they obsess over some particular thing but they don’t understand what geekery actually is.  Obsessing over Gossip Girl or some such is not geekery, it’s entirely mainstream.  By the same token, an attempt to hipify something inherently nerdy is so past the point or irony nowadays that it just ends up going all the way back to utter mainstream ordinariness.”          Lee snorted in derision.  “Eveything you just said describes Vani to a tee.”
            “Agreed,” Karl nodded with a smile.
            “It’s all irrelevant anyway,” Lee went on.  “You don’t need to point to Tom’s pretentions to hate him.  Just point to the dead squirrel he calls a haircut.”
            “You guys are so mean,” pouted Cavity.  “Not to mention full of shit.  You spend so much time deriding anything that’s mainstream but that’s like the most stereotypically hipster thing to do ever.”
            “There’s a difference between deriding something because you truly cannot abide it or even understand it and deriding it because deep down you love it but wish you didn’t,” said Karl.
            “I know for a fact that Vani watches Gossip Girl,” smirked Cavity.
            “I don’t pretend to watch it ironically!” Vani smiled.  “That show’s awesome!  Chuck Bass is totally my hero.  If I had to rank all my heroes I think he’d make fourth place right after Terry and Shatner and Donald Trump.”
            “What about Leonard Nimoy?” asked Karl.
            “Oooh right, list revision… I dunno man, I think I’m gonna need a spreadsheet to properly figure this out.”
            Karl sighed but dutifully opened up his laptop while Cavity rolled her eyes dramatically.  She truly was a simple soul.

            It wasn’t as though Karine was completely avoiding Peter but it’s not like they’d made any real commitment to be exclusive either.  They’d had a few dates and she really did genuinely like him.  He was cute and even kind of hot but whenever she wasn’t actually with him she sort of forgot he existed.  It was always a bit of a surprise when he called or texted because she always had to take a moment to realize, oh yeah, she had a boyfriend, sort of.
            So she shouldn’t have been jealous when some skanky ho came up to their table in the caf to bug Terry while she and Sarah were having a perfectly pleasant lunch with him.
            “Hi Terry,” the skank said, trying to be sexy but just coming across as a Snooki impersonator. 
            “Hey,” he said lazily, barely lifting his eyes.  God, he was such a flirt.
            “So like, do you wanna get together tonight and study?”
            “Study what?  We just finished our exam,” he smirked and Karine and Sarah giggled.
            “Oh right well, wanna get together and like, celebrate?”
Terry seemed to actually be considering the offer, which was pretty disappointing because if he was suddenly going to drop his standards so low then she really didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.  She had no choice but to take matters into her own hands.
            “Terry’s busy tonight,” she said.
            “Oh really?” the skank replied, all dripping in skank juice.
            “Yeah, we’re going out.” 
            The skank asked where they were going and for some reason Terry actually told her they were going to Cunningham’s.  Sarah interjected to invite herself along, which was bad enough but the skank saying she too would show up was beyond what any mortal could be expected to endure.
            “Actually,” Karine said sweetly.  “Tonight is ladies’ night and they won’t be letting in pathetic skank whores.  So… I don’t think so.”
            “Excuse me?” the skank said, mouth agape.
            “You’re excused.  In fact, you’re dismissed.”
            She gasped and momentarily looked to Terry for support.  He simply chuckled and looked at her wryly.  It was pretty awesome.
            “Well fuck you!” the skank said, more to Terry than Karine, which made it all that much more hilarious.
            Even Sarah was suppressing a laugh although she also said that Karine had been inexcusably mean.  Terry grabbed Karine’s hands and examined her fingers.  When she asked him what he was doing he said he was looking to see if she’d retracted her claws. 
            “I’m just trying to protect you, Terry.  That chick is totally rank.  I’m not gonna let you start dating hos just because you’re single now.”
            “I wasn’t gonna date her.  Maybe just fuck her once or twice,” he snickered.
            “Eww!” squealed Sarah.  “You don’t know how many diseases she has!”
            “The point is you can do better,” insisted Karine, looking at Terry pointedly.
            “Oh yeah?” he asked with a sly grin.
            “Yeah!” agreed Sarah a bit too enthusiastically.  Was it Karine’s imagination or was Sarah smiling at Terry a little too much and leaning in towards him a little too strongly?  No way in hell would Karine let some other bitch move in on her guy!

            Julie had enough self-awareness to realize she probably hated Tom on sight simply because he wasn’t Terry.  If she were being logical she’d be glad that Cerise had broken up with Terry because it would mean an increased chance of her getting together with him.  Not that Terry would date his ex’s little sister, not that Julie would date her sister’s ex, except she totally would ‘cause Terry was totally hot and it totally sucked that he never came around anymore.  This Tom guy was such a total loser!  He was just like Jay except in darker clothing!  Why did Cerise always like such lame guys, Terry notwithstanding? 
            Simone agreed, at least about the part where Tom was a step-down from Terry.  They peered into the den where Cerise was watching TV with her new boyfriend and had a short discussion wherein they determined that he was totally lame and Cerise was a total loser for dumping the greatest guy ever to go out with this dork.  Not that Cerise had broken up with Terry for Tom but still, it was totally weird.  Julie seriously couldn’t fathom why Cerise had ever broken up with Terry at all.
            All these Trebichavsky thoughts made Julie remember the brief night she’d spent with Evan, Terry’s brother.  She should probably hook up with him again.  He was almost as hot as Terry and seemed like a good enough guy.  She’d facebook friended him and they had a few friends in common so Julie made a mental note to attend any parties where he might show up.  If she couldn’t have Terry, at least she could have Terry 2.0.

            Terry hadn’t planned on getting drunk but he was just a few drinks in and already feeling kind of buzzed.  It didn’t usually take so little to get him going but he supposed all that time spent not drinking with Cerise had lowered his tolerance a bit.  Just another reason it was the right move to no longer be with her.  She’d already changed him way too much.  There was nothing wrong with the him he used to be, before her.  All she did was make him feel dumb and hang out with stupid guys who made him feel dumb and stuff.  Fuck her and fuck them. 
            But not Karine though, she was still cool, matching him drink for drink and seemingly holding her liquor better than him.  Even Sarah was keeping pace.  Sarah was way cute, he should totally hook up with her.  It would be totally awesome if he hooked up with both of them and had a totally hot threesome.  Even Andrew would be jealous then.  He totally should.  Totally, totally should.
            Aww hell, here was Morgan and Townsend and Robertson coming along to spoil everything with their testosterone.  Terry went to make introductions but they’d all met before and started talking about boring ass school stuff.  Then the guys talked about equally boring hockey stuff, all complaining about their coach and shit, like whatever and Karine was getting totally bored.  She said she wasn’t but then Townsend asked her if she wanted to dance and she said ok except that they should all dance so Terry danced with her and Sarah while the guys sort of did that white boy shuffle, except Morgan who was actually kicking ass on the dance floor, which was pretty impressive.  Sarah was impressed too and started dancing with him and Karine got all up on Terry, which was pretty fun.  He totally should have hooked up with her back in the day when he’d had the chance. 
            They all sort of drifted into a circle and took turns going to the middle to do their moves and Morgan was totally killing it.  Terry had to represent!  He took his turn and killed it too!  Dancing was so much fun!  He started grinding with Karine and Sarah both at the same time; it was totally awesome.  He even heard Robertson say to Townsend that both these chicks seemed pretty into Terry and Morgan was like, hey can you blame them?  Yeah, Morgan totally knew that Terry was a total chick magnet and the rest of them shouldn’t even bother competing.  Terry could fuck any chick he wanted anytime he wanted!  He was fucking Khal Drogo except without the dying part!  He was awesome!  Fuck Cerise and her stupid new boyfriend!  Terry didn’t give a shit that he wouldn’t be with her this Christmas!  Who gave a shit!?  So what if he’d been looking forward to it all summer, the idea of being with a girl for a holiday, of having someone with him to help ease the pain of all that family shit, of dealing with his dad, who was totally cheating on Vicky.  Of dealing with the shit he’d found in that photo album in the garage that time. 
            Terry felt a little light headed and went to sit down.  Karine was gonna go with him but he told her to keep dancing.  She was having a good time with his hockey friends, dancing up a storm.  Maybe she’d hook up with one of them, they were obviously all into her, except Morgan seemed more into Sarah, or at least Sarah seemed more into him.  Nick Morgan was a good guy.  Terry would be totally cool with him going out with Sarah or Karine or even Cerise.  He’d be better that that poseur goth guy she was fucking.  Oh god, Cerise.  It sucked so hard that they weren’t together anymore.  Fuck, Terry was so goddamned lonely.

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