Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act V

            Cerise walked downstairs with Karine, or rather behind Karine, as though she could provide some kind of protection from the stares of others.  But as usual, once they joined the rest of the party no one even seemed to notice her.  Most of the people at this party didn’t even know who she was and those who did probably didn’t give a shit what she was up to.

            But as soon as she joined Janice and Cassie she was accused of being a giant ho-bag.  It was said in jest but still.

            “Good thing no one uses that room, Cerise, ‘cause like, eww,” Karine scolded her mockingly.

            They all laughed for a while and then Janice asked for details, supposing Tom was probably pretty good in the sac because it’s always those you least suspect.  Cerise eyed Karine and they both burst into laughter.  She knew it was mean but she admitted that Tom had been somewhat lacking in both skills and equipment.  Janice pretty much lost her shit and proceeded to recount an amusing tale of a terrible experience she’d nearly had but had salvaged by being completely awesome and whatnot.  She assured Cerise that Tom could learn if Cerise had the patience to teach him a few things.

            “Um, Cerise?” asked Tom, sheepishly joining the group.

            Janice shrieked and demanded that Tom not sneak up on her when she was talking about him behind his back. 

            “Maybe I should put a bell around my neck,” he laughed weakly.  “Cerise, can I like uh, talk to you?”

            Cerise nodded and they walked off together.  God, it was so awkward.  Cerise wanted the floor to swallow her up.  There was nothing in the world she wanted less than to talk with Tom but what could she do?  He asked her if she was ok and he seemed so sad, so hurt, so possibly aware of what Cerise had said about him.  Had he overheard everything?  How loudly had Janice been talking when she’d given her advice?

            She tried to look him in the eye as she assured him she was fine.

            “So like, um, like well fuck ok, like I mean, not fuck.  I mean, fuck!  I mean, was it like, the worst thing ever?”

            Cerise opened her mouth to respond but couldn’t come up with a lie.  She stared at him, mouth agape while he tried not to cry.

            “Ok, so it was bad.  I mean, I know I was bad.  I didn’t really know what I was doing.  I admit that.  And I’m sorry.  I but I mean, I can learn.  I’m sorry if… I’m sorry if you didn’t like it.”

            “No, it was fine,” she tried to smile.

            He looked at her with a pained expression, like the lie was the worst part of the whole experience.

            “It’s just that I’d never done that before,” she explained.  “I was nervous and kind of out of it.  I didn’t know what I was doing either.  I mean, I was bad too, right?  Like you didn’t seem to be enjoying it any more than me.”

            Tom’s jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out.  “No!  It was awesome!  I mean, I know it wasn’t great.  I know I didn’t do much.  But I, I mean.  It was what I always wanted.  Or what I’ve wanted since I met you.”

            Cerise raised an eyebrow.

            “I mean not that that’s all I want from you.  I mean, I want us to be a couple, you know?  I mean I was nervous so like, I think that’s why I sucked.  I bet I could learn to be better.  I mean that’s what Janice said, right?  I mean there’s the internet and they probably have like classes and workshops and stuff…” he trailed off and then laughed at himself and Cerise couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

            “Well practice makes perfect, right?” she giggled, not realizing what she was implying until it was too late.

            “Right!” he enthused happily.  “So we’re good then?  We’re still going out?”

            Cerise nodded and forced a smile. 

            “Ok good, that’s a relief,” he smiled goofily.

            “Ok well, I’ve gotta go now.  I mean, I’ve gotta go join the girls.  ‘Cause um, that’s what girls do after they do stuff… with their boyfriends.”

            “Boyfriend,” he grinned.  “I like that.”

            “Ok so see ya,” she took a step back.  “Wait.  You’re not gonna go all bragging to your friends are you?”

            “Uhh, no?”

            “Tom!  I don’t want people all thinking I’m like a ho or whatever.”

            “I can’t even tell my friends I lost my virginity?  Can I tell them we’re going out?”

            Cerise realized she was being a total bitch and gave him permission to tell whoever he liked whatever he liked, but she walked away with a knot in her stomach all the same.

            “Your first lovers quarrel?” smirked Janice as she rejoined her friends.

            “No,” Cerise sighed.

            “So what’s wrong then?” asked Cassie.

            “He thinks we’re going out.”

            “Well aren’t you?!”

            “I guess so,” shrugged Cerise.

            “Oh, but in your mind it was just a booty call,” nodded Janice knowingly.  “A one-night stand, cherry style!”  She thrust her hips forward and then started grinding up against Cerise.  “Where da cherries?  Where da cherries be at?”

            They all laughed and then Cerise insisted she wasn’t a one-night stand type of girl.

            “But I am?” hollered Janice.  “Fuck you, bitch!”

            “Stay focused, people,” Karine rolled her eyes.  “Cerise, if you don’t wanna go out with him you don’t have to but like, I think you guys could be good together.”

            “I think so too,” nodded Cassie.

            They went back and forth in that way for a while, Cerise unable to decide if she liked Tom enough to date him and then remembering that she’d already agreed to do so and realizing she’d be even more of a bitch now if she broke up with him two seconds after agreeing to go out with him.  Not to mention that breaking up with him meant she was a one-night stand type of girl, which Janice definitely was and needed to find someone to fuck ASAP otherwise she’d be a total loser.

            Cerise finally declared she wanted to go home but then realized she had no way to leave because Tom was her ride. 

            All the girls laughed in her face, none of them acknowledging the seriousness of her dilemma.  Even Cerise had to admit that having a boy be into her was a pretty paltry problem to have.  She decided that she’d give Tom a chance.  Just because tonight had been depressing didn’t mean it would always be that way.  She’d give him a chance and maybe he’d grow on her.

            “You make him sound like a fungus,” Janice snickered.

            “No, I really do like him,” Cerise assured them all.

            “But he’s no Terry, right?” Cassie asked.

            “Once you go Terry you never go berry,” Janice jived.  “Heehee! I made a funny.  See ‘cause like, you’re Cherry the Raspberry and so like, Terry can never be you… ok so it doesn’t actually make sense but I am suddenly craving cocoa mini-wheats in a really serious way.”

            They went to the kitchen for snacks and not for the first time, Cerise was grateful to have girlfriends with whom she could discuss her love life, now that she actually had a love life complicated enough to warrant discussing. 

            He was seriously a majorly douchtastic douche of total douchitude.  Terry couldn’t stand himself at this moment.  Whey the hell had he slept with that girl tonight?  He hadn’t even been particularly attracted to her.  Sure, she was hot but apparently that wasn’t enough anymore.  They say you’ll never wish you had less sex on your death bed but if this little indiscretion cost him his relationship with Cerise then it was something to be regretted. 

            As if to highlight what an insanely temperamental douche he was, the poster on his wall that he’d tacked up to hide the hole his fist had made when Cerise broke up with him drooped down and after hanging there for a second, fell to the floor.  He sighed and got up, walking upstairs and then to the garage to look for something with which to better disguise the hole.  He didn’t really know anything about home repair but maybe some calk could fill the hole?  Or maybe some insulation or something?  And then he could paint over it?  Or something?

            He rifled through some junk but quickly realized there wasn’t much to rifle through.  His dad was pretty organized and what he lacked in OCD, Vicky more than made up for.  Everything was in its place and it didn’t seem as though they had any old paint or anything that might be particularly useful.  Vicky and John had always been the types to throw away anything once they were done with it.  What he really needed to do was search through his mother’s garage.  If Vicky was OCD then Louise was a hoarder.  She kept everything, regardless of how useful it could possibly be in the future. 

            But what was this?  As Terry perused the neatly stacked shelves he found a box labelled “miscellaneous” in John’s handwriting rather than Vicky’s which was kind of odd because usually Vicky would reorganize anything John did because she was just that nuts. 

            Terry grabbed the box and went through it just out of curiosity.  It was mostly boring stuff from the olden days, like an expos baseball cap, which was actually kind of retro and cool now.  Terry almost considered claiming it except he wasn’t a baseball cap kind of guy unless he was working and needed some sun protection.  Weren’t baseball caps kind of douchey otherwise?  Like in a frat boy kind of way?  Terry put the cap aside, figuring he’d make a final decision on it at a later date, maybe getting Cerise’s, no, Karine’s advice on the matter. 

            There were other nostalgic things like ticket stubs for concerts and sports events and a couple birthday cards and just random shit.  But at the bottom on the box was another box; a shoe box.  Terry opened it and found it full of photographs.  That was weird.  Usually Vicky was pretty obsessive about photos.  Terry had seen her organize entire photo albums of pics from the pre-digital age and she even liked to print up digi pics and scrapbook them.

            Terry casually went through the photos and gradually realized with a growing degree of nausea why they were hidden in a box in the garage and not out for display. 

Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act IV

            It was only the second time that Cerise had been inside Karine’s house and she marvelled at how well it was kept together, fully aware that Karine had to take care of it all by herself.  She and Tom found a room that was clearly Karine’s bedroom and Cerise steered them away from it, choosing instead a small room which held a sewing machine, an overflowing bookcase, some cardboard boxes and a pale loveseat which had clearly seen better days.  It was covered in magazines and some swaths of fabric that looked to be from the ‘70s.  Cerise gathered up all the junk and laid it on the floor, then sat down, with Tom following her lead.

            They got back to kissing and soon enough, Tom let his hands crawl under her shirt.  Cerise tried to focus on what was happening, tried to enjoy it, tried to stay concentrated on the guy, on Tom, yes Tom.  He was a nice guy.  She should really be paying attention.  But it was hard to keep her mind from wandering, from thinking about Terry.

            Should she be doing this?  Should she stop?  Was it betraying Terry even though they were broken up?  Was it betraying herself because she wasn’t really super duper into Tom?  Well why shouldn’t she be into Tom?  He was nice, cute enough, adequately nerdy.  She should stop being such a priss.  As if anything besides this moment mattered.  It felt good so might as well carry on.  But what if everyone saw them go upstairs?  Karine and Janice and Cassie had certainly seen and while she could probably count on Cassie’s discretion Janice would surely be telling everyone about this even if they hadn’t figured it out for themselves, which they probably had because she and Tom hadn’t exactly been subtle about it.  Holy shit, everyone would think they were having sex!

            Well so what if they did think it?  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for Cerise to get a reputation.  She didn’t want people to think she was a prude.  She really should go ahead and have sex with Tom.  No, that was crazy cakes.  She couldn’t lose her virginity to Tom.  He was nice and all but still.  Still what?  He wasn’t a great kisser but not bad.  He just… he just wasn’t Terry.  But not everyone could be Terry.  It was probably healthy for Cerise to be with someone else.  Someone who wasn’t him.  But maybe she was just with Tom because he sort of reminded her of Jay, in the way he was sort of awkward and geeky.  Was that weird?  No, he was totally different from Jay.  And who even cared about Jay anyway?  Jay didn’t even like Cerise.  Jay was a total ass.  Cerise seriously had to get over the whole Jay thing.

            Tom’s hands on her skin felt nice so she went ahead and pulled off her shirt.  He looked at her appreciatively and then pulled off his own shirt, tossing it to the ground.  God, skinny much?  And yet somehow flabby too.  Gross.  Oh god, she shouldn’t be so judgemental.  What if he was thinking she was all fat and gross?

            Was he trying to take off her bra?  He was doing a really pathetic job of it.  This was so dumb!  Just unclasp it, Tom!  He was so incompetent.  Terry had never fumbled like this.  She considered taking it off herself but maybe that was rude, to like, show frustration in his lack of bra-taking-off abilities.  And should she really be taking off more clothes?  She was in Karine’s house after all.  In a sewing room of all places.  Did Karine sew?  That’d be weird.  Maybe her mom sewed.  Not that Karine’s mom was very domestic, from what Terry said.  She was a total absentee parent, and didn’t even exist in like, actual reality.  Oh just take off the damn bra!

            She took it off herself and Tom touched her breasts eagerly, squinting to see them in the dim light.  Cerise was glad they’d left the light off.  She didn’t want him all looking at her and stuff.  Meanwhile he was touching her, but that was somehow different.  It’s easier to remember something you see rather than feel.  Was he trying to undo her pants?  They’d be here all night if she left him to this mad fumbling. 

            Cerise wasn’t so sure this was a good idea.  It wasn’t really appropriate to do stuff like this in someone else’s house.  Of course, she’d fooled around with Terry at Sarah’s house.  She needed to stop making excuses!  Terry was right, she was a total prude.  She should just go ahead and do this!  Just plunge right in.  Go all the way and get it over with. 

            She unzipped his pants and he stood up, pulling them off so quickly it was as though he was afraid she’d change her mind.  This was a legitimate concern on his part, though he probably didn’t even realize how reluctant she was about all this.  She forced herself to push away any hesitations and stood up herself, disrobing completely.  They stood there in the little sewing room, a faint beam of light trickling in from the small window and breathed heavily as they regarded each other. 

            Cerise wondered if they should use a condom.  She didn’t have one on her.  She always knew that Terry would have one if ever it came to that.  Besides, she’d gone on the pill so it wasn’t really an issue.  But she couldn’t do it with Tom unprotected.  What if he had herpes or something?  They’d never even discussed their sexual history.  She was being totally slutty and irresponsible and just like every other stupid teenager who ended up in situations like this because they couldn’t think ahead.

            “Do you have a condom?” she asked, her voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

            “Yes, yeah, yes,” he said, grabbing his pants up off the floor and fishing a condom out of the back pocket.

            “You carry one around?”  Did that mean he was a total man whore?  She’d never even thought about who he might have been with before her. 

            “It’s kind of in the guy handbook.  To be eternally hopeful.”

            She chuckled as he desperately tried to open the packet.  She was growing impatient and almost snatched it away from him but finally he got it open with his teeth.  He very carefully rolled it onto his erection and Cerise scrutinized his penis for the first time.  Oh wow, it was much smaller than Terry’s.  Much, much smaller.  Was Terry unusually large?  Was Tom unusually small?  Maybe he wasn’t fully erect.  Maybe the pressure of the situation was giving him performance anxiety.

            As if in answer to her question he stammered in a whisper.  “I’ve uh, I’ve never done this before.  I mean I’ve done stuff I’ve just uh, yeah I’ve never uh, yeah, I’ve never done this before.”  He looked down at his feet, his shoulders hunched.  He seemed so ashamed.

            “It’s ok, neither have I,” she said soothingly, suddenly much more eager to have sex with him.  She quite liked the idea of losing her virginity to a fellow virgin. 

            “Really?  I thought you and…”

            “Nope, never,” she said, interrupting before he could say that name.

            She sat back down on the little sofa and then lay back on it.  If she were to stretch out her legs, the end of the sofa would hit her knees so she bent her legs and he scrunched up in the space provided.  She opened her legs and he touched her vulva with his fingers, as though trying to familiarize himself with the landscape.  She spread her legs wider, one stretching up over the back of the sofa, the other foot finding the floor.

            He positioned himself on top of her and his knee knocked into her thigh.  “Sorry,” he breathed.

            “It’s ok,” she assured him, taking hold of his hips and guiding him down to her.

            He placed his hands on either side of her head and lowered himself on top of her, tugging her hair in the process.

            “Ow!”

            “Sorry!”

            “Ok, just, yeah…” she said as he tried to put himself inside her.  It wasn’t happening.  His latex swathed penis kept slipping around, never finding the hole.  “I think you have to…”  She grabbed his penis and tugged gently, positioning it correctly.  He pushed and then he was inside her. 

            Terry sat in the living room watching TV when Evan and Jules came downstairs.  Evan asked Jules if she wanted anything to eat but she declined so he went off to the kitchen by himself and Jules joined Terry.

             “Hi,” she said, sitting much closer to him than was really cool.

            “Hey Jules,” he replied, inching a little ways away from her.  “So are you guys like going out now?”

            “I dunno,” she shrugged.

            “Uh huh.  Well, you should be careful, Jules.  I mean Evan is not exactly the nicest guy around.  He kinda hangs around with lots of girls if you catch my drift.”

            “Yeah, I figured.”

            He wanted to ask if Evan had returned the favour after she’d gone down on him, because he didn’t want to think that she’d been taken advantage of but it was too weird to bring up.  She was just a kid!

            “I see you found the cookies I made you,” she smiled, looking at the coffee table which held the empty cookie container.

            He figured she’d brought them over but held on to some hope that Cerise had made them.  He sighed in disappointment and smiled at Jules, thanking her for the treat.

            Evan entered the room with a pogo stick and plopped down on the couch with them.  He picked up the remote and scanned through the channels.

            “Well I should probably get home,” Julie mused.

            Evan kept watching TV and Terry tried to glare at him but he wasn’t paying attention so he offered to give Jules a lift.

            “That’d be great!”  She hopped up and headed for the door. 

            So this was sex.  Actual, official, heterosexual, penis in vagina sex.  She’d expected more.  Truth was, she could hardly feel it.  She was surprised by how wet she was, considering how she really wasn’t at all turned on.  It didn’t feel bad but it didn’t really feel good either.  It just was. 

            She wondered what Tom was thinking about, remembering that in the movies they always made jokes about how guys have to think about baseball so they don’t come too soon.  Cerise wished he wouldn’t bother.  She was getting bored and a little anxious and just wanted it to be over.  But Tom just kept on pumping away, huffing and puffing like it was an intense cardio workout and maybe for him it was.  Terry had never seemed winded by any of their carrying on.

            Oh god, what if it was her?  What if she was the boring one?  What if it was her fault this was a completely terrible experience?  It’s not like Tom looked to be enjoying himself that much.  She should move around, participate more instead of just lying there passively.  She should moan or something, thrust her hips maybe?  Should she fake an orgasm so he’d just come already and stop?  No, faking it was a horrible thing to do.  Faking was just a lie.  But wasn’t she already lying by doing this?  By pretending to like him when she didn’t really?  No, she wasn’t lying, she really did like him!  Really she did.  How could she not?  How could she have sex with a guy she didn’t even really like all that much, at least not as more than a friend?  She was a terrible person.

            Was there maybe something wrong with her physically that she wasn’t more into this?  Maybe she had some sort of sensitivity issue.  Wasn’t the first time supposed to hurt?  Maybe it’s not that Tom had a small penis, maybe she had a massive, cavernous vagina.  Maybe he couldn’t even feel anything and that’s why he hadn’t come yet, he was just going through the motions. What if he was faking it?!

             

            But no, there was nothing wrong with her.  She’d always felt something when she’d fooled around with Terry.  Even just his fingers did more for her than Tom’s stupid dick.  Oh god, Terry.  How could she be fucking this stupid loser instead of her sweet, perfect boyfriend? 

            She wanted to cry.  She wanted so badly for this to end.  She wanted him to get off of her but didn’t know how to say it.  Was it mean to push him off before he was finished?  Was it ok for it to end before he came?  What was taking so long?  Boys were supposed to come really quick their first time, weren’t they?  Ugh, this was agony! 

           

            “Well thanks, Terry,” said Jules, lingering in Terry’s car as they sat outside of Cerise’s house. 

            “Jules, don’t um, don’t be surprised if Evan doesn’t call or anything.  He doesn’t really know how to treat girls.”

            “It’s ok Terry.  I’m not some naïve little girl.  I didn’t even give him my cell number.”

            “You have a cell phone?”

            “Duh, who doesn’t?”

            “Cerise doesn’t.”

            “Cerise is a loser.”

            Terry looked at Jules, about to berate her but she looked so haughty and cute that he burst into laughter and so did she. 

            “Aw’right well, g’night Jules.  And remember, you deserve better than my stupid little brother.”

            She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then gazed at him dreamily.  He’d seen that look before.  He smiled tightly and said good night again and finally she got out of the car.

            Why couldn’t Cerise like him as much as her little sister did?

            Finally, finally, finally Tom whimpered and groaned and sort of collapsed on top of Cerise.  She wanted to yell at him to get the hell off of her but instead just sort of nudged him with her hands.  He got up, elbowing her ribs as he did so, apologizing instantly, fumbling with the condom so it wouldn’t spill everywhere.

            She grabbed her clothes and dressed at the speed of light, looking anywhere but at him.

            “Are you ok?” he asked, deeply concerned.

            “I have to go to the bathroom,” she mumbled, racing out of the room.

           

            “What did you and Jules do?” Terry asked his brother as soon as he walked in the door.

            “What the fuck business is it of yours?” Evan shot back snottily, sprawled out on the couch eating chips, leaving crumbs everywhere.  Why was he always so inconsiderate?

            “She’s a nice kid, Evan.  Don’t fuck with her.”

            “Yeah, she’s nice aw’right,” Evan smirked.

            “I’m serious,” said Terry, barely containing his anger.

            “Why the fuck do you even care?  God, get the hell over yourself.  Just because you’re not fucking Cerise anymore doesn’t mean I can’t fuck her sister.”

            Terry lunched at Evan and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him off the couch slightly.  “Do you need me to talk louder, you little shit?”

            Evan shot out his fist and Terry dropped him, deflecting the blows.  “Fuck, Terry, chill the fuck out!”

            “Just don’t mess with her!”

            “What’s the big deal?  It’s not like I hurt her or anything!”

            “You’d better not have!” Terry screamed.

            “What the fuck is up with you?  Like you haven’t screwed around with a million chicks?”

            “You can’t just go around treating girls like shit!”

            Evan laughed bitterly.  “Are you serious?  Like you should talk.  You’re the king of fuck ‘em and dump ‘em.  I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

            “You’ll do what I tell you to do!”  Terry lunged forward and smacked Evan’s head backwards.  He walked away in a huff and heard Evan calling him an asshole as he went.  He may have been a fuck ‘em and dump ‘em type of guy at Evan’s age but that wasn’t him anymore, notwithstanding tonight’s evidence to the contrary.  If Evan was smart he’d take Terry’s advice and learn from his mistakes.

            “Occupied!” yelled Cerise from behind the bathroom door.

            “Cerise, it’s Karine.  Let me in!”

            She opened the door and sheepishly let Karine enter.  “What?”

            “You and Tom!”

            “Oh my god,” Cerise hung her head in shame. 

            “Oh my god!  You just had sex, didn’t you?” Karine laughed.

            “How can you tell?” Cerise asked in shock or horror or queasiness or something.

            “You reek of it!”

            “Are you serious!  Oh my god!  Everyone knows don’t they?  Everyone saw us go upstairs!  Everyone will think I’m a big, huge slut!”

            “You are a big, huge slut!” Karine giggled, aware that Cerise was clearly traumatized but having too much fun to stop teasing her.  Besides, if she acted like it was a big deal then Cerise would just be even more traumatized and she seriously needed to get over herself.

            Cerise sat on the edge of the tub and rested her head in her hands.  She almost seemed to be on the verge of tears.  There was no way Tom could have like, hurt her or anything, was there?  No, not Tom.  But just in case, Karine softened her voice and assured Cerise that she was just kidding.  No one knew anything and even if they did it didn’t matter because people had better things to worry about than Cerise’s sex life.  She nodded but her mood didn’t seem to change any.  Finally Karine asked her if it had truly been that horrible of an experience.

            “Oh god, Karine.  It was my first time.”

            “I know.”

            “I mean, I’ve done other stuff but intercourse is supposed to be like, this big deal, right?  And I did it with Tom.  I mean of all people!  Tom fucking Brown!”

            “So?   He’s not so bad.”

            “Yeah but I mean, I can’t believe it wasn’t with…”

            “Jay?”

            “No, Terry.  Jay?  Why would it be Jay?” Cerise asked, seemingly perplexed.

            “Well you have a thing for him, don’t you?  Come on, Cerise.  You always have.”

            “I guess, but he was never my boyfriend.  You’ve had more dates with him than I have.”

            Karine wrinkled her nose at that.

            “I mean Terry’s the one who… who I should’ve done this with.”

            “Then how come you never did?”  Karine seriously wanted to know.

            “I dunno.  I guess I was scared.”

            “Scared of what?”

            “I don’t know!  That it would mean too much.  Because doing anything with Terry meant something but doing everything with Tom meant nothing.”

            Karine thought about this for a second.  “So, you were afraid of like, committing to Terry?”

            “No, I don’t think so.  It’s more that Terry was on one level and I was on another and no matter what I did with him I couldn’t get to that level.  Because we had different starting points.  Does that make sense?”

            “So you just didn’t wanna lose your virginity to someone who was basically a man-whore.”

            “I guess, I dunno,” Cerise shrugged.  “It doesn’t matter now.  ‘Cause I completely fucked everything up.  I just slept with Tom fucking Brown and I’m the biggest slut in the world.”

            “Sleeping with one pathetic virgin hardly makes you a slut.”

            “Yeah it does.  I’m worse than Janice because at least when she sleeps with people it’s for her own pleasure.  I just did it, I dunno, to prove a point or something.  To like, catch up with the rest of the world.  I just did it to get it over with.”  Her eyes widened as though she was just coming to this realization now.  “I used him, Karine.  I totally used Tom.  I don’t even like him that much.  I mean he’s fine but I like him as a friend and I totally just used him.  That’s such a shitty thing to do!”

            “Oh please, I doubt he’s all like crying over it.  He probably thinks he’s like a major pimp right now.”

            “I dunno, it was pretty terrible.  If he thinks it was like this awesome thing then I just feel sorry for him.”

            “Cerise, he’s a guy.  They can’t even tell the difference.”

            “Oh come on.  It was seriously like the worst thing ever.  He must have at least some level of self-awareness about the whole thing.”

            “Was it really that bad?” Karine asked, trying to contain her amusement.

            “It was boring.  There was nothing.  Like I barely even felt it and I just wanted it to end, but he just kept going and going and I don’t think he was liking it much either.  I mean why else would he take so long, right?”

            “You didn’t even feel it?” Karine giggled in spite of herself.

            “Oh my god, Karine, he’s like tiny!” Cerise lowered her voice, which was already mostly a whisper.  “I mean Terry’s finger is bigger than Tom’s dick!”

            Karine cackled with delight.

            “God, I’m so mean,” moaned Cerise.

            “It’s not mean if it’s true!  God, what a loser!”

            “He’s not a loser!  I mean even if a guy is small, it doesn’t matter... I mean, if he knows what he’s doing... right?”

            “Yeah I guess.  I mean as long as he has a tongue who cares, right?”

            Cerise finally laughed a little.  Karine told her to cheer up and come downstairs for a celebratory slut drink.  She replied that she’d rather wallow in self-pity but Karine had no intention of letting that happen.  Cerise shouldn’t feel bad just because she finally lost it, she should just go with it.  She didn’t do anything wrong and she shouldn’t feel like shit.  Besides, Karine liked the idea of Cerise with Tom.

Season 2 – Episode 6 – Act III

            Somehow Cerise managed to steer the conversation away from sex and towards Star Trek, a subject she was much more comfortable with.  They decided that First Contact was the best of the movies and when Cerise ordered him to blow up the damn ship he protested by attacking Cerise with a pillow.  They struggled for a while until he let her overcome him and she celebrated by stretching out on the couch, resting her legs on his lap.

            She was acutely aware that she was recreating her first meeting with Terry, right down to the couch on which they were sitting but this experience was different because Tom wasn’t self-confident enough to give her a foot rub.  Oh well, at least he could discuss Star Trek intelligently.

            “So how come when he breaks his little ships it’s such a revelation for him?  He looks at his little broken models and that turns him around?  I never got that,” Tom confessed.

            “It made him think of the destroyed Enterprise D and he’s all, hey, I’m not even on my original Enterprise.  And I guess it’s not so bad if another one gets destroyed ‘cause it’s about winning the war, not the battle.”

            Tom seemed stunned.  “Oh, really?  That totally makes sense.  You’re smart.”

            She giggled and decided that yes, she was smart and could totally choose what would happen next with Tom.  She was in complete control. 

            Terry had met up with Andrew at Clyde’s and they’d played pool as usual and ogled chicks as usual and drank copious amounts of beer as usual.  Or rather, it was no longer usual but once had been.  Honestly it wasn’t quite as much fun as back in the day and Terry wondered if maybe it would be worth it to dump Andrew in favour of getting back with Cerise.  But no, it wasn’t so much about Andrew himself as the principle of the thing.  Besides, he was footloose and fancy free now and this was the perfect opportunity to get some tail, something he hadn’t done in ages. 

            They rated the chicks in the room and Andrew set his sights on the one he considered hottest, although she wasn’t really that hot in Terry’s opinion.

            “You just like her ‘cause she seems the most desperate.  I mean she’s practically wearing a bikini she’s so not dressed and it’s like, November so it’s like, not even seasonally appropriate so it’s like pretty obvious she’s a total slut.”

            Andrew stared at Terry in disbelief.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

            “Whatever, I want a chick who’s more… I dunno, pretty.”  He was about to point out a girl with short blonde hair but then thought better of it, realizing he was just picking the chick who looked most like Cerise.  He scanned the crowd and picked someone as far away from Cerise as possible, but still cute.  “There, her, the black chick there with the big tits.  I’m going for her.”

            “I’m so over black chicks,” groaned Andrew.  “They’re like, totally stacked but they’re always bitches.  I mean always dude, always.”

            “Well I’ve never been with a black chick so I’ve gotta fill the quota, right?” smirked Terry, acutely aware of what a racist asshole Cerise would accuse him of being at this moment.

            “No doubt, man, no doubt,” nodded Andrew.  “But give the bitch a fake number ‘cause fuck, you don’t want her calling you.  Trust.”

            Terry agreed and off they went to catch their prey.

            Julie basically knew she was a loser for doing it but she still went to Terry’s house even though he was totally her sister’s ex-boyfriend and it was totally gross and incestuous and lame to try and get with him but still, he was totally hot and totally worth it if he’d go out with her so she might as well try even though she was seriously nervous and totally second-thoughting the idea to bring him homemade cookies, which was like totally lame and 1950s and shit, right?

            She held her breath as the door opened and Terry’s little brother, whose name escaped her at the moment, appeared looking confused.

            “Jules?” he asked.

            Wow, how totally embarrassing.  He totally remembered her name and she had no idea what to call him.  “Hey, yeah, hi,” she smiled.  “Um, is Terry here?”

            “You wanna see Terry?”

            “Um, yeah?  I like, brought him some cookies.  I made them myself,” she said lamely.

            “You made cookies for Terry?” he looked incredulous.

            “Like um, yeah?”

            “Why?”

            “Uh,” she paused, wracking her brain for the answer.  “I dunno.  I haven’t seen him in a while. I was wondering how he was doing.”

            “Oh.”  He stared at her.  “Well he’s not here but I am and I like cookies too.”  The way he smiled was totally like Terry’s smile.  Totally hot!

            She stepped into the house with a giggle.

            Was it something to do with that couch?  How come every time Cerise came to Karine’s house she hooked up with some guy on her living room couch?  It was pretty clear they’d be hooking up before the night was over.  Cerise has her legs draped over him and he was holding her knees, rather awkwardly, what a loser, and they were laughing and talking excitedly and stuff.

            Another successful party, Karine supposed.  Janice had apparently recovered from her fall and was now dancing with a bunch of random guys Karine couldn’t identify. 

            “So you wanna dance?”

            Karine turned to see that Peter was still with her, having followed her into the room.  She’d totally forgotten about him.  But why?  He was totally hot in his own way.  What was Karine’s deal?  She said she was in too much pain to dance, which was true but mostly she didn’t feel like it.  There weren’t any seats left in the room so she strode over to Cerise and her embarrassing flirtation with that Tom guy.

            “Use up all the couch space much?” she smirked.

            “Oh sorry,” said Cerise, straightening up.

            She and Tom scooched to one end of the couch while Karine sat down, with Peter snuggling up next to her.

            “That good?” asked Peter.

            “No, but it’s fine,” Karine said dismissively.  At this point she was more interested in eavesdropping on Cerise’s retarded conversation with nerd boy.

            “I always thought Picard and Dr. Crucher should have gotten together,” she was saying.

            “Well they did in the possible future in All Good Things.”

            “Yeah but we never got to see it.  I just thought they should be together especially after they got psychically linked in that episode where they get psychically linked.”

            Peter was nuzzling Karine’s neck and she thought for a moment that it was kind of rude of him to try to pick her up when she was clearly still in a lot of physical pain.  Then again, it had been awhile since she’d gotten her neck nuzzled and it did feel pretty good.

            “Yeah really, there’s all that tension and then it just fizzles,” said Tom.

            “I know!  These mega revelations and then nothing.  It’s like, why didn’t you ever tell me you were in love with me?”

            “You were married to my best friend.  But he’s dead now so screw it!”

            And then Tom actually kissed Cerise and she kissed back.  Wow, way to go nerd boy.

            “That would’ve been a better ending!” said Cerise with a giggle, totally missing the opportunity to get some action in favour of talking about nerd shit.  “Hey, Data, what were you thinking about just now?”

            “Haha!  Cat food!  Just like in that poem you wrote, cat food kissing!”

            “Exactly!  It’s all about Data.  You know, that guy got a lot of action for an android.  I mean he got more than Geordie ever did.”

            “Hah, but that’s not saying much!” laughed Tom.

            “It’s always the wacky characters who get the most action.  Like in Voyager it was the doctor.”

            Seriously?  Was Cerise seriously talking about Dr. Who now or whatever, instead of making out with this cute guy who was maybe not actually cute but definitely nerd cute?  It was so pathetic.  Karine adjusted herself so she could get a better view of their little interaction and nudged Peter away as she did so. 

            “Your back hurt?” he asked.

            “Yeah.  No.  Peter, no offence or anything… but I don’t know if I really wanna do this.”  She smiled, trying not to sound bitchy.

            “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” he asked wryly.

            She laughed.  “No!  Shut up!  It’s just… I don’t wanna have some meaningless hook-up.  I’m not into that kinda thing anymore.”  Yeah, that sounded good.  It was even true.

            “Who said I wanted a meaningless hook-up?  Karine, I’ve had a thing for you since sec 4.  I’d be into… you know, having a real relationship with you.”

            Karine was speechless.  He sounded completely sincere and that was actually genuinely endearing.

            “If you’re not into me it’s cool.  I can take it.  I mean, I’ll just convince myself that it’s another case of the white man brainwashing the white woman into rejecting the black man.”

            She laughed again.

            “It’s just the white man trying to keep us brotha’s down.  Know what I’m sayin’?” he said, suddenly sounding like a gangsta stereotype.

            Karine laughed appreciatively.  “I’m not saying I don’t wanna get together with you.  I’m just saying... I mean, what if we took it slow?  ‘Cause I mean, I’m thinking these days, I should go about things differently than I used to.  ‘Cause the way I used to do things, you know, they didn’t always work out so great for me.”

            He smiled, revealing perfectly straight, glowingly white teeth.  He was kind of a pretty boy, wasn’t he?  Well Terry was kind of a pretty boy, so wasn’t that her type?  He assured her that they could take things slowly if she wanted to. 

            Karine looked over to Tom and Cerise, who were still talking about whatever the hell lame ass nerd stuff they were into. 

            “So uh, how slow is slow?” Peter asked.  “Should I start investing in an RRSP or what?”

            She laughed yet again and then kissed Peter and it was actually perfectly pleasant, except for the ridiculous background noise.  Were they seriously going to talk about nerd stuff all night?

            “All his spirituality crap was so dumb.  It’s like, you’re in space, stop being so cosmic.  All his beliefs were like, whatever.  It was so forced.  Hi, I have a spirit guide, let’s play with my medicine wheel.  It’s like, unless you’re on North of 60, I don’t wanna see it.”

            “That’s so politically incorrect,” laughed Tom.

            “But that’s the point, they were trying to be so progressive and like, sensitive to Amerindians or whatever but it was so forced and unnatural,” said Cerise with more passion that Karine had ever heard before.  “They just didn’t know what to do with him.  Every week he had a new thing. Oh, I’m into palaeontology, I like boxing.  Now I’m a Mars buff and I’m stealing Tom Paris’ shtick.  Pick a thing and stick with it.”

            “He had diverse interests,” laughed Tom.

            Karine kept making out with Peter as Cerise flipped out.  Something about how it was totally lame to like Choco-tay or whatever.  Tom said he was cool ‘cause he got with seven.  Seven what Karine wasn’t sure.  Cerise felt that was the most ridiculous thing ever because Seven, who was apparently a woman, was supposed to be hairy or something.

            “Harry Kim?” laughed Tom.  “He was a putz!  I mean come on, Harry and the Kimtones?”

            “Oh my god, Tom!  You are Harry and the Kimtones!”

            “Oh my god, you’re so right.  Shit!  I’m such a loser!”

            “No you’re not.  I liked Harry,” Cerise said with a voice suddenly seductive.

            “Oh yeah?  Wanna see my clarinet?”

            Wow, ok, nerd double entendres were totally lame.  Karine couldn’t help but laugh and Peter asked her if he was amusing to her, doing his best Joe Pesci, which made her laugh all the more.  It took her a second to notice that Cerise and Tom were now completely making out.  Well, good for them.

            Terry was already inside the girl when he realized he didn’t really want to be there.  As a result, he paid no attention to his performance and ended up coming rather quickly.  He pulled out with embarrassment and tossed the soiled condom into a nearby trash can.  The girl covered her hand in a Kleenex and fished it out, mumbling something about not wanting her mother to find it. 

            They were in the girl’s bedroom and her parents were out for the evening but they’d be home soon, so could he perhaps be on his way?

            Terry wondered if she was trying to get rid of him because he’d been a bad lay.  Great, now he was going to get a bad reputation in the black chick community.  Not that they had a forum or anything.  Or maybe they did, Terry didn’t know.  He certainly hadn’t made any effort to get to know this girl.  At this point he couldn’t even remember her name.  They hadn’t even exchanged numbers.  She was just a girl, an anonymous chick like any of the dozens he’d hooked up with in high school. But this time had been different because he hadn’t even been trying.  It had been as easy as ever.  A smile, the gift of a drink, a quick chat about this and that and whatever the hell.  Then back to her place - walking distance from the bar - for some brief foreplay and then no more than a minute of penetration. 

            “I’m sorry I didn’t last longer,” he said half-heartedly.  “Usually I last longer.  I guess I’m kinda drunk.”

            He was completely sober.  Completely cognisant of the fact that he’d just had bad sex with a random girl and the whole time he’d been thinking about Cerise.

            He offered to go down on the girl, to get her off.  He owed her that much.  He couldn’t very well leave without even trying but she wasn’t into it.  So he walked back to Clydes and drove home.  He would be going right past Karine’s house on his way, might as well drop by, just for the hell of it.  But no, even if he did see Cerise, he didn’t want to talk to her when he reeked of some other girl’s perfume.  Cerise didn’t even wear perfume.  Didn’t need to.  She smelled great no matter what.

            When he got home he almost thought he could smell her.  He found an open tin of cookies in the kitchen; Cerise’s cookies!  Had she been here?  Brought them by as a reconciliatory gift?  He stuffed one in his mouth and chewed happily, running upstairs, poking into rooms, yelling for his brothers.  He burst into Evan’s room without knocking.

            “Hey, Evan, did Cerise bring those cook…”

            “Get the fuck out!” Evan yelled from his bed.

            On her knees, in front of him, sucking his cock was a blonde head and just for a second he almost thought it was Cerise but no, it was her sister, Jules.  For the first time in his life Terry knew what it felt like for all the people who had walked in on him doing stuff.  It had never bothered him much when he got caught but being the one doing the catching was different.  It was more embarrassing somehow.  He didn’t even leave the room, as he knew he should, he just stood there, aghast.

            Jules turned around and licked her lips while Evan frantically covered his diminishing penis with a pillow.

            “Hi Terry,” she smiled.

            “Jesus Christ, Evan.  She’s fifteen!” he replied.

            “So am I!  Now fuck off!” Evan screeched.

            Well that was a fair point.  Terry closed the door and walked back downstairs.  He’d certainly been having sex at fifteen, sometimes with girls a year younger.  He had no grounds to give Evan shit.  Still, it was so weird.  Jules seemed like such a little girl.  Cerise was only two years older but she seemed so much more mature.  For the first time Terry wondered how old the chick he’d banged tonight had been.  He hadn’t even asked.  He’d just sort of assumed she was the age she looked, which was about eighteen, but maybe she was just a high school kid.  Some girls developed early.  Karine had fully developed breasts when she was just twelve. 

            Not for the first time, Terry thought about those early years of high school, when he and Karine had become really good friends.  When her father died and he’d comforted her.  He’d thought they’d get together but he didn’t want to push it, what with her grief and all.  And then Steve had swooped in and they were joined at the hip.  What if it had been him?  Well, maybe if he’d hooked up with Karine all those years ago it would have ruined their friendship.  Or maybe they’d still be together, which would mean that he’d never have hooked up with Cerise.  This thought saddened Terry so much that he resolved to make up with her as soon as possible.  He’d give in and give up his friendship with Andrew and everything would be ok.  So what if he was pussy-whipped?  It was worth it to be with her again.  Should he tell her about the girl he’d been with tonight?  No, best not to add fuel to the flame.

            Cerise and Tom were practically eating each other’s faces off.  It was pretty sick and totally hilarious.  Karine joined Cassie and Janice as they watched from across the room.

            “Way to go, Tom,” laughed Janice.

            “Oh my god, I’m so happy for him!  He’s been wanting this all semester.” squealed Cassie.

            “I dunno though.  Total rebound for her,” noted Karine, ever the voice of reason.

            “Not necessarily.  She and Terry have been broken up for like, a month.”

            “That’s like, nothing!” insisted Karine.

            “Oh come on,” drawled Janice.  “It’s a pretty long time.  I’ve never waited more than a week between boyfriends.”

            “Boyfriends?  They’re not called boyfriends unless you go out with them more than one time, Janice.”

            “You callin’ me a slut?”

            “No, just a whore.”

            “Ok then,” Janice cackled.

            “Anyway, Cerise isn’t like that.  She takes this kind of thing seriously.”

            “God, what-ev-er.  The girl has been funked out for ages.  She just needs to get laid and we all know it.”

            “That’s not how she is.  And like, her and Terry were together since high school.  And they’ve broken up before and gotten together again.  So it’s like, pretty major for her to hook up with someone else.  And that’s why you know, this might just be a rebound thing.  ‘Cause like, her and Terry are like, a thing.”

            “What is it, like a soap opera?” laughed Janice.

            “Pretty much,” admitted Karine.

            Cassie stepped in.  “Well her and Tom are kind of a thing too.  They like, always hang out together in class and like, outside of class too and she’s like, a total groupie for his little band and like, I dunno.  I think she might actually be into him.”

            “Hey, don’t get me wrong, I encourage it.  Her and Terry being together never leads to anything good.  It’s like, total progress for her to like, hook up with someone more her speed.”

            “They do kind of like, match,” nodded Janice.

            “Totally.  Way better than her and Terry,” said Karine, agreeing with herself.

            “Oh!  She’s spotted us!” Cassie squealed as Cerise looked up and blushed, realizing she was being watched.

            The three girls looked around nonchalantly but there was no looking away when Cerise took Tom’s hand and led him out of the room.  He seemed stunned, slack-jawed and tripping over his own feet as he followed her upstairs.  Karine, Janice and Cassie scrambled to watch them ascend the stairs without making it obvious that they were spying.

            “Oh my gosheroonies!  Someone’s hooking up!” laughed Janice, loudly enough that everyone in the vicinity looked over.

            “Eww, they’d better not go to my room,” grumbled Karine, eliciting giggles from the crowd that had since turned to watch Cerise and Tom disappear upstairs.