“Are you excited?” squeeled Cerise as she hopped into Terry’s car.
“About what? The other day? Yeah, it was awesome.”
Cerise had finally gone down on Terry and it had been great. Maybe that talk she’d had with Karine and Sarah had convinced her to chill out on the whole sex thing because she’d been more aggressive lately and they’d gone further than ever before, though they still weren’t going all the way, which was fine. Terry was just glad he was finally getting his dick sucked.
“No, wacktard. About today. First day of school, duh.”
“Oh yeah, right. I guess.”
Terry had picked Cerise up bright and early and they were going to JAC to meet up with everyone before classes started.
“I’m excited,” Cerise giggled and actually clapped her hands. “I’ll be so fun!”
“You know what else is fun?” asked Terry, sneaking at look at Cerise when they stopped at a red light. “When you sort of pull on my ball sack and then twirl your tongue around the head of my cock…”
“Terry!” Cerise shrieked, hiding her face in her hands. “You say that shit just to see me squirm!”
“I like it when you squirm,” he chuckled.
“Shut up!” she laughed and slapped him on the arm.
Cerise didn’t actually mind it when Terry talked dirty. In fact, she kind of liked it. She liked it so much that she was sort of starting to get horny and that just wouldn’t do because it was the first day of school and if they didn’t hurry they’d be late.
Terry manoeuvred his way through the student parking lot behind John Abbott College
“We have to goooo,” she said, trying to drag him through the parking lot.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “What’s the rush?” he whispered into her ear, nibbling on her earlobe.
She closed her eyes and allowed herself to melt into him, just for a moment. “We’re gonna be late,” she said.
“We’ve got plenty of time,” he insisted, stroking the skin at her waist.
“Come on, seriously!” She snapped out of it and tugged at his hand.
He stood still, looking at her with his smouldering eyes.
“Terry!” she squealed, shaking his arm. He didn’t even budge, though his smile crept into a satisfied smirk. She made noises of frustration and pounded on his chest. He laughed and finally started walking.
She took the lead and they crossed through two sports fields and another, smaller parking lot. She broke into a jog and Terry took wide strides to keep up with her.
When they came around the side of the school grounds she saw the gang assembled on the front lawn and Cerise ran up to join them.
“Hey!” said Sarah enthusiastically, putting her phone away. “Karine will be here in two secs.”
“Well done, all. I’m impressed by our collective ability to actually follow through on the plan and like, all manage to be here at the right time and place,” said Vani.
“Except for Willy of course, who doesn’t count anyway. So indeed, well done,” agreed Karl.
“Ok, so does anyone actually have any idea how to navigate this place?” asked Jay.
“I do!” beamed Sarah.
“Naturally,” nodded Karl. “You went on the tour didn’t you?”
“Of course I did! And I invited you to come along but you were all, that’s lame, I’m a big loser.”
They all laughed because Sarah’s impression of Karl was eerily accurate. Jay tried to keep the joke going and mimed Karl complaining and stomping on the ground.
“Are you being Godzilla?” asked Karine as she joined them.
“I was being Karl, so yes,” smiled Jay, no doubt happy to have his presence acknowledge by the object of his perpetual desire.
Cerise looked at her schedule while Terry nuzzled behind her ear and stroked her waist. She swatted his hands away and said that she had to get to Casgrain, as did Karine.
“Wrah! Die Japanese people!” said Jay, still stomping the grass.
“Casgrain is that building,” said Sarah, pointing to the building to the left of the main entrance. “The theatre’s in the basement.”
“I will crush you,” mumbled Jay.
“Looks like I have pretty much everything in Hochelaga,” said Karl.
“Me too. Wrah,” nodded Jay.
“Yeah, me too,” said Sarah. “It’s the one behind Herzberg, which is the main one.”
Terry was kissing Cerise’s neck and she turned up her face so he could kiss her lips. “You have to go to Penfield,” she said between pecks.
“Yeah, it’s that one,” he said, pointing to a building without even looking up.
“Yeah,” nodded Sarah.
“Ok so let’s go then. Stop sucking face, fucking love-birds,” said Karine with perhaps more irritation than was necessary.
“Should we all meet up at some point?” asked Cerise. “For like lunch or whatever?”
“Well I have a pretty full schedule,” replied Jay. “My plan is to go to all my classes and fully establish my secret identity as a cegep student. Then when everyone is secure in the knowledge that I’m Jason Harris, intrepid college boy I’ll whip out the cape and fight crime in my spare time!”
“Yeah, I have like no breaks,” nodded Karl.
“Then will come the beatings,” Jay went on. “And I’ll have to admit that much like Kick-Ass I cannot in fact kick ass and don’t even have a reinforced skeleton. But then the true plan will be revealed, for Hit-Girl will reveal herself.”
“There are definite coincide-ation issues schedule-wise,” said Vani.
“I can only hope that Hit-Girl will have reached puberty by then because I don’t want to have to wait for her to mature before…”
“No one wants to hear the end of that story, Jay,” said Karl in disgust.
“Seriously, eww,” agreed Karine.
Jay shut his mouth and looked embarrassed. They all shrugged and started walking off in separate directions. Terry and Cerise shared one last kiss before saying goodbye and he promised he’d text between classes so they could meet up whenever possible. Just as she was catching up with Karine she spied Willy huffing and puffing as he rushed to catch up with the boys.
Karine had seriously considered taking Professional Theatre but that was a three year program and she didn’t want to waste any more time in cegep than was necessary so she chose to do the two year Theatre Workshop program. If she liked it she could go on to do theatre in University. Karine wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to be an actress, like as a job or whatever, but a whole program of doing school plays sounded like way more fun than any other cegep program out there.
With Cerise trailing behind, Karine walked into the Casgrain Theatre and was immediately accosted by a familiar face.
“Oh my god, Karine! You loser!”
“Janice! You fucking bitch!” Karine laughed.
Janice was an old friend from back in the day. She and Karine had gone to primary school together and they’d kept in touch for a few years in high school but they hadn’t seen each other in like, at least three years. It was totally crazy to see her again. Karine never would have guessed that Janice would go into theatre, although now that she thought about it, it did sort of fit since Janice was a total attention whore. She seemed to be keeping up with that tendency by fully embracing the hipster image. Her hair was long and scraggly and adorned with non-functional children’s barrettes. She was wearing a ripped up t-shirt from the ‘70s, acid washed jean shorts and mismatched legwarmers, which must have been pretty uncomfortable since it was a seriously hot day. She was even wearing thick, black rimmed glasses and Karine hoped to god that Janice really did need prescription lenses ‘cause really, being ironic was one thing but being a fucking stereotype was quite another.
For a second Karine regretted wearing jean shorts herself but hers were much tighter and shorter than Janice’s and she was wearing a simple blue and white striped tank top, so she looked classic and non-spazzy.
They chatted for a while and then another blast from the past came along. Karine couldn’t quite remember his name, he was just a guy she’d hung out with before at Clydes a few times. He was cute, one of those black guys who dresses all Sean John, like cool but not all blinged out and stuff.
“Hey, Karine, right?” he smiled.
“Yeah! Hey, oh my god!”
“Peter!” shouted Janice, saving Karine from trying to remember the guy’s name.
“Hey Janice,” he laughed.
“Oh my god, this year is gonna be so much fun,” cackled Janice.
“I know, totally,” agreed Karine.
“Fuck, I almost didn’t recognize you without a pool cue in your hand,” grinned Peter.
“Oh my god! Ok, like full confession. I almost didn’t remember your name,” giggled Karine. “I was all like, hey, it’s Stella Artois
“Hey, you remember my drink?! Awesome!”
Holy shit! It was like the first minute of the first class of the first day and the teacher for Physics, Optics and Harmonics was already like, teaching stuff. He was writing stuff on the board and everything. Everyone else in class was taking out notebooks and writing stuff or even typing away in laptops. Fuck, Jay hadn’t even brought a pen, or paper!
Battling his embarrassment, he sheepishly asked the girl next to him to borrow a piece of loose leaf and she ripped a page out of her notebook while giving him the stink eye. He asked a different girl for a pen and she grudgingly handed him a pencil that was all chewed up and gross. Ugh! Cegep totally sucked!
Way to introduce me to your friends, thought Cerise. She supposed now that they were back in school Karine would go back to being a total snobby bitch. Whatever. Cerise went to take a seat in the audience where a bunch of other kids were sitting. She smiled at everyone but no one in particular. No one smiled back.
Finally two men walked in. They both had grey hair but one looked all proper and British. It was kind of amusing when he spoke, introducing himself as Hugh and indeed, had a snooty British accent.
The other man was sort of like a hippy, or maybe he just really needed a haircut. His name was Fred and he was super enthusiastic. It was funny ‘cause these two guys were like the Mythbusters, sort of similar in appearance but with personalities on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Hugh explained that everyone in the class would pair up and go off to talk and get to know each other. Then they’d come back in fifteen minutes and introduce each other to the class.
Karine immediately took off with that ridiculous Janice girl and Cerise wished she would have just stuck by Karine’s side and introduced herself to that Peter guy. As it was, he went off with some other guy and Cerise looked around for someone to pair up with. There was an extremely short girl coming her way and Cerise smiled brightly but the girl walked right past her and went off with another girl.
She resigned herself to pairing up with a pimply faced boy who was looking around awkwardly when a skinny guy with hair so black it was probably dyed approached her with his hands stuck in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.
“Hey, uh, wanna pair up?”
“Sure!” she smiled.
“That sounds like a really bad pick-up line, doesn’t it?” he chuckled. “Hey baby, wanna pair up?”
Cerise giggled and they walked off together to find a spot in the hallway. They sat on the floor and looked at each other awkwardly.
“Ok, so tell me everything there is to know about you,” he said.
He was dressed all in black and for that reason sort of reminded Cerise of Simone. He was like a goth kid who couldn’t quite commit, because other than the hair and the clothes, there was nothing else goth about him. No makeup, no jewelry and his sneakers were converse.
“Um well, I dunno. I can’t even think of anything,” Cerise stammered. “There’s nothing to tell I guess.”
“Ok well, how ‘bout we start with your name?”
“Ok,” Cerise sighed. “Brace yourself.”
“How come?” the boy grinned.
“It’s a really bizarre name. Much trauma was experienced in primary school.”
“Intriguing.”
“It’s honestly and truly Cerise Laframboise.”
“That’s awesome! Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“Awesome. That’s hilarious.”
“I know,” she nodded. “And don’t even bother making the jokes. I’ve heard them all.”
“Hmm, a challenge,” he grinned. “Ok well, I’m Tom Brown so I guess that makes me the opposite of you. You have the coolest name in the world and I have the boringest name”
“Most boring,” she quietly corrected his grammar.
“So you agree,” he laughed.
“Hey, nothing wrong with a boring name. Trust me.”
“Ok so what else can you tell me about you?”
“Oh, I dunno. You go first.”
“Ok well, let’s see. Ok well, I’m in a band. Not like a marching band or anything. Like a… a rock and roll band. Man, that sounds really lame when you say it out loud. Rock and roll is such a ‘50s term, right? I guess it’s more of an emo band anyway. But god, I hate the emo tag too, so ‘90s. And it’s not even emo really, it’s more… I dunno, it’s… I dunno,” he chuckled self-consciously and averted his eyes.
“What instrument do you play?” she asked kindly.
“Guitar. Or I guess, like, not. I mean, I don’t play it well. I keep hoping one day I’ll wake up with talent. Hasn’t happened yet,” he rolled his eyes comically.
Cerise giggled and asked what the name of the band was.
Tom hesitated. “Uh… well, we’ve been thinking about changing it, ‘cause no one gets it, but I guess that’s why it’s cool, not that it’s actually cool. It’s not, it’s totes lame.”
“Wow, that’s a long name,” Cerise grinned. “How do you fit it on posters?”
He laughed boisterously, so much so that Cerise wondered if he was faking. “No, hah, you’re funny. No, it’s actually… we’re called Parisses Squares.”
Cerise stared at him for a second. “Parisses Squares? For real?”
“Yeah, it’s just like, an inside joke. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah it does!” Cerise exclaimed. “That’s the game in Star Trek with like, the stupid outfits and the mallet and it’s all like dangerous and stuff but they never actually show it so it’s all like, mysterious and stuff.”
“Dude!” Tom’s face brightened significantly. “You’re the first person ever to get that reference! Shit, I’m impressed!”
“Thanks I guess,” Cerise shrugged and smiled.
“Well shit on a stick,” he enthused, leaning forward, beaming at Cerise. “I’m just freaking out over here. So I guess you’re a fan, then? A trekkie or trekker or whatever the kids are calling it these days.”
“I don’t think the kids are calling it anything besides old. I think the kids today are twihards.”
“Yeah, no shit, fuck, no shit,” he nodded seriously. “Fuck, shit. Sorry, I’m swearing a lot. Shit. Sorry. Fuck, you’re awesome.”
Cerise simply giggled and maybe blushed a little too.
“Ok, so this is Karine Cavalière,” began Janice. “We went to primary school together but we lost touch like, half way through high school and this is like, the first time I’ve seen her in years. But she’s still the same old Karine; totally gorgeous. If I remember correctly, she had like, all the boys in school totally in love with her. In grade 6, there were like, three boys who got in a fight ‘cause they all wanted to be her Valentine. It was hilarious!”
Karine laughed and shrugged as though embarrassed while Janice rambled on. They stood side by side on stage, ostensibly introducing each other to the class. Everyone else sat in the audience, with rapt attention. It was weird, but no one looked bored or disinterested. They were seriously into it. Karine wondered if it was because Janice was so loud and dramatic and over the top or if drama students were just more attentive than the average student. She would have liked to imagine they were interested in Karine herself, because she was hot or awesome or whatever, and while that was perhaps the case for some of the boys, she couldn’t pretend all the girls were so intensely into her.
“Ok, so she just graduated from BHS and in the grad gag thing she was voted hottest female. Big surprise, eh? I know, I’d totally do her,” Janice cackled.
Everyone laughed and Karine rolled her eyes good naturedly.
“And she and her boyfriend were voted most likely to get married but don’t worry guys, ‘cause they like totally broke up, so she’s like seriously on the rebound and looking to hook up. The line will start here.” Janice pointed at herself and then indicated the space in back of her.
Once again, everyone laughed. Karine couldn’t help but wonder to what degree Janice was joking or if perhaps she was actually into chicks now. Most likely she was just being flirty to draw attention to herself. It had always been Janice’s M.O. to do whatever was needed to make everything all about her.
Karine jokingly pushed her aside and took centre stage. “Yeah, so this is Janice Trepanier and she is such a loser for saying all that! Oh my god. But that is so Janice, always joking around and like, so totally being the life of the party. There was this one party in Sec 3 where…”
“Oh my god, don’t, you bitch!” Janice laughed, obviously wanting Karine to go on.
“Oh my god, it was so funny!” Janice attacked Karine and tried to cover her mouth but Karine easily pushed her away. “She like totally took off all her clothes and went streaking down the street and the neighbour’s dog started chasing her…”
“Oh my god!” laughed Janice.
“And it chased her into this other neighbour’s yard and they had one of those lawn ornaments that looks like a deer and so Janice got on it to get away from the dog and so there she is all naked and trying to balance herself on this plastic deer! But the thing totally collapses! And she falls down and the dog attacks her. Bu it didn’t bite her or anything, it just started licking her! So she’s all naked, lying on a broken deer with this like, German Sheppard slobbering all over her. And then this old dude comes out of the house and he’s being a total cliché all yelling about those darn kids getting off his lawn and we had to drag Janice away. It was so awesome!”
Once again everyone laughed and one of the teachers, Fred, if Karine remembered correctly made some comment about having someone in class willing to go all the way in case they decided to do Hair. It was kind of a gross comment, actually.
A few more people went up and said their little speeches and people’s attention did wane a bit. There were a couple kids who really had no business being in theatre if they couldn’t even give a tiny little monologue like this. Eventually Cerise and some half-assed goth guy got up.
“Hey there, ok,” began the guy. “So this is Cerise Laframboise. That’s her real name. Her mother was a cherry and her father was a raspberry. She was supposed to be the messiah of the berry world, meant to bridge the gap between cherries and raspberries because as we all know, those two fruits have been feuding since the dawn of time, each trying to establish their dominance as the favoured berry. But when she was born they saw that a half cherry, half raspberry hybrid was too much of a deviance from pure fruity goodness and no one wanted to put her into cereal or even yoghurt or anything.”
Cerise was blushing furiously and everyone was laughing. Karine had to admit that this guy’s delivery was pretty good. He was quite exuberant.
“So she ran away from home and she went to the magical fruity pebbles fairy who turned her into a human girl. But she still carries the names of both fruits to remind her of her roots. And every spring she reverts into her fruity form and she wanders through the fields of berries searching for a place to call home.”
He took a bow and Cerise looked at him dubiously.
“Ok, thanks for that, Tom,” she drawled. “I guess I hadn’t heard all the jokes about my name. So this is Tom Brown. He’s a really big Pokemon fan. And his life ambition is to live in his mom’s basement and gain two hundred pounds and own a comic book shop. And he’s a third level elf in his Dungeons & Dragons campaign and he hopes to one day be a wizard. And he also enjoys Larping, which is Live Action Role Playing which is like, ok, you know all those people who dress in medieval clothing and make foam core swords wrapped in duct tape and go up to the mountain and duel each other? Yeah, Tom’s their leader. He’s got a vampire campaign going now and every Saturday he puts glitter all over his body and walks around the mountain shirtless. No one has the heart to tell him he can’t really pull off the vampire thing no matter how dark he dyes his hair.”
It was kind of mean but also kind of awesome. Cerise smiled the whole way through her speech so it didn’t come off as too bitchy. Everyone laughed and even Tom seemed to appreciate the joke. He leaned in towards Cerise as they sat down and Karine couldn’t make out what they were saying but it was definitely flirtatious. Hmm, maybe Cherry angel had found herself a non-Terry prospect. Interesting.
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