“Ok so anyway, let me finish my story,” said Karine. “So we went to lunch and for dessert we all shared a cheesecake. It was really good. It was at this little café. Fuck, I can’t remember what it’s called! I should really take note of these things. Maybe Sarah did. It would so totally be her to like, take the business card of all the places we go. Or like, note them in her phone or something. ‘Cause it was seriously good.”
“Is that important for the story?” asked Terry, trying to hide his exasperation but quickly losing patience.
“Oh shut up! The point is we were talking about sex.”
Terry perked up and listened a little harder.
“Sarah was all like asking Cerise if you guys have done it, you know? And she was all like, avoiding the question and asked Sarah if she and Karl had done it. And Sarah was like, yeah, and I was like, ok, details. And Sarah said she had nothing to compare it to ‘cause Karl was her first. I mean she’s done stuff with other guys but Karl’s the only guy she’s gone all the way with but I was like, even if you’ve only done it with one guy you still know if you’re doing it right. I mean, if you like it or not. And Sarah said that yeah, she basically liked it and that just like anything else, it gets better each time, you know, like practice makes perfect type of thing, which is totally true. I mean when Steve and I first started, it was like, so not anything at all but eventually it was good. So I told Sarah that and she was glad. Karl is apparently like totally repressed and stuff, I mean not repressed but like, you know, embarrassed maybe? Sarah was like…”
“I don’t really need the details on Sarah’s love life,” Terry said, wondering when Karine would get to the point, or if there even was a point. Or why they’d begun this conversation in the first place. Wasn’t she going to tell him something about Cerise and how she felt about him?
“Ok, anyway, so we asked Cerise how far you guys had gone and she was like, we’ve done stuff but nothing major and we were like, how come? And she was like, all defensive, like all saying how you guys just got back together so like, chill you know? Like what’s the rush? Which is a totally good point. I mean seriously, what’s the rush? How come we started fucking so young? At the time it seemed so important but I mean, why? Was it really so great? God, don’t answer that. I seriously don’t need to hear about all your stupid sexual conquests. I mean do you even remember all the girls you’ve been with?”
Terry was taken aback. Suddenly Karine seemed angry. “Yeah, I remember them. I’m not like Andrew you know. I don’t just fuck girls to prove a point.”
Karine seemed deflated, almost sad.
“I mean, maybe I do. Did. I dunno. So is that the end of the story?”
Karine sighed and recomposed herself. “No. Ok, so like Sarah was all like, trying to get Cerise to go into more detail and asked if maybe Cerise was scared and she said that like, she was nervous. Like, because you’ve been with so many chicks. It was actually kinda funny how she put it. She was like, you banged half the schools… no, half the cheerleaders at half the schools in the West Island
“Really?” asked Terry. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even think of that.”
“Yeah, so anyway, I told her that you’re not as much of a player as she thinks. See? I totally have your back, you ungrateful shit,” Karine chuckled. “Yeah so like, I said that you hadn’t really been with that many chicks but she was still worked up ‘cause like you’re so young, you know? Like how did you even get the opportunity so often? I mean she’s been with no one. She admitted that you’re her first. I mean first everything. First kiss even. So weird. I mean how does someone even do that? Like avoid it for so long? I guess she was saving herself for you, right? Hah! Yeah right. I know it’s ‘cause she’s clueless. Oh don’t give me that look. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just you know, she’s a bit socially awkward. I mean she’s geeky, whatever. She doesn’t know how to read guys. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is she didn’t get how you were so experienced and I said that you started young, like at thirteen or whatever and she was like, what? And I was like, yeah.”
“You told her that?”
“Well it’s true!”
“Yeah, but it makes me sound like…”
“Like a little pre-pubescent horn-dog?”
“Hey, you should talk. You were what, fourteen?”
“This isn’t about me. Whatever. Don’t be all pissed ‘cause I totally saved the situation. I said how like you haven’t been with anyone since you met her. And I don’t mean since you started going out. I mean ever since you met her you haven’t been with any other chicks. I mean, I don’t know, maybe you have, for all I know you fuck a million chicks at all those hockey parties you always go to but I told her you haven’t.”
“It’s true, I haven’t,” Terry nodded.
“Yeah, I thought so. So yeah, I told her that and she was all like, really? And I was like, yeah, he’s totally far gone on you. He’s way into you, like obsesso level.”
“Karine! Fuck. Why didn’t you just propose to her for me?” Terry said in annoyance.
“Oh shut up, like you’re not two seconds away from doing it yourself.”
“The symbiont has merged with you so successfully that now it can’t disconnect,” Karl explained.
“What about me?” asked Jay in a panic.
“You’ll die if you don’t get it back,” smiled Karl.
“So what does this mean?” asked Cerise.
“You’ll have to share it. Every so often you’ll have to meld so the symbiont can support you both.”
Interesting, thought Cerise. She wouldn’t mind sharing a symbiont with Jay. He didn’t seem too pleased about it though. She asked if she couldn’t simply get it removed but Karl insisted that she’d die if she tried to remove it.
“Yeah, haven’t you ever seen DS9?” asked Vani.
“So Jay and I are permanently connected?”
“Yeah, you guys can never be apart. Unless you wanna die.”
“I’m stuck with her forever?! This sucks!” Jay whined.
“Screw you!” said Cerise with a laugh but she was genuinely annoyed at how badly he was taking it. It’s not like they actually had to be physically together in real life. It was just a game. Why was he being such a jerk about it? What an ass.
“It was so funny ‘cause like Sarah was all like gushing about you and stuff,” laughed Karine. “Like oh my god, she’s totally into you! I think she totally has a crush on you! She was all like, saying how like Cerise is totally lucky to have you ‘cause like you’re so devoted and so sweet and everything. Like how you always kiss her and compliment her and you’re always whispering to her and stroking her hair and sometimes, like seriously, Terry, you just gaze at her. Like she’ll be just doing whatever and you’ll just be staring at her. It’s hilarious but Sarah was all waxing poetic about it all describing the beauty of your eyes and shit, like how they change colour and stuff. Fuck, it was so funny.”
Terry smirked. He didn’t mind Sarah having a crush on him but it was kind of embarrassing that she’d noticed him mooning over Cerise. Had everyone else noticed too? Did he need to chill out?
“And like Cerise was kinda freaked out, right? Like looking at Sarah like she’d lost her mind and she was like, well, isn’t Karl sweet? And Sarah was all like, only when we’re alone. Like apparently when it’s just them he’s nice but it’s always robo-Karl in public. And Sarah was all saying how it’s awesome that you’re not like that. Like you’re affectionate even in public. You don’t care what anyone thinks. She’s got a point I guess. It is pretty sweet.”
As long as Cerise was into it, that’s all that mattered, Terry supposed. But was she into it? He got his answer as Karine went on.
“And Cerise was like, yeah, he’s totally sweet and said that’s why you guys haven’t gone all the way yet, ‘cause you don’t pressure her. She was like saying that you’re gentle and you’ll back off if she hesitates but like you’ll be totally into it if she is and she went on and on about like how great you are and stuff.”
“Like what? What’d she say?” They were finally getting to the good stuff and now Karine chose to get vague?
“Oh you know, just how like you’re nice and sweet and you totally turn her on so she’s into it but she’s nervous about going further and stuff.”
“She said I turn her on?” Terry asked with a wide grin.
“Yeah and then she was like, he’s the only guy I’ve ever liked or ever wanted to be with and I’ve been saving myself my whole life just for him and also, I hate Jason Harris with a red hot passion and I wish he’d just like, shrivel up and die so Terry and I could go live happily ever after with like a picket fence and shit.”
Terry glared at Karine.
“Ok, so I made up that last part but the rest is true!” she laughed.
“Seriously?” he grumbled, hoping Karine was being straight with him.
“Yeah, so don’t worry. She knows how lucky she is to have you. She’s totally into you.”
“Yeah well… so did she get that shirt? The one that was too revealing?”
Karine only giggled in response.
“It’s weird that we can never be apart now,” said Cerise while helping Jay clean up the empty Dorito bags by stuffing them under the couch.
“I know! It’s insane! It’s gonna make it that much harder to on missions. It’s like having extra baggage around all the time.”
“Shut up, loser.”
“Maybe I should just kill you so I can get the symbiont back,” he said with a grin.
“Fuck you,” she said, swatting him with her character sheet.
“If I had known saving your life was gonna be so much trouble I never woulda done it!”
“You’re such a reject!”
“Now it’s like every day I have to plug into you to get my symbiont juices.” He pulled an imaginary cord from his neck and plugged it into Cerise’s neck.
“Screw you, I’m keeping the symbiont!”
She unhooked the plug and tried to run up the stairs but he caught her, yelling that there was no escape. He tackled her and held her down, grabbing her neck.
“Must… have… symbiont!”
“No! You’re draining away all my power!”
“It’s my power!”
He pushed her hair away and clamped his lips around her neck, sucking on her forcefully. Holy shit! He made exaggerated suckling noises but Cerise wasn’t laughing anymore. This was weird. Weirdly erotic maybe? Apparently he realized it too and he pulled away, wiping the drool off his mouth.
“Well, it is my power,” he said awkwardly.
“Yeah well, you can’t have it,” she shrugged.
“Yeah, I figured.”
“Gross, Jay,” she forced herself to laugh and grabbed his arm to wipe the drool from her neck onto his sleeve.
He chuckled lamely and then got up, allowing her to stand as well. She walked up to the top of the stairs and looked down at him. “Ok well, see ya.”
“See ya.”
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