Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Season 1 - Episode 14 - Act I

            Terry wracked his brain.  He wasn’t really that close to any of his hockey friends.  They mostly just played and got drunk at parties.  He didn’t know which ones were single.  Hell, even the ones with girlfriends sometimes hooked up at parties so he really had no idea who might be available to go to his grad.  But he’d made a promise and he couldn’t put it off any longer.  It was already mid-May and Cerise kept asking if he’d found dates for the Green Girls. 
            He looked up all his friends on facebook and eliminated all the guys with relationship status.  Surprisingly few guys remained.  Was he supposed to just call them out of the blue and say, hey, who wants to go to prom with some annoying chick who can’t get her own date?  This sucked. 
            Hey, Nick Morgan was listed as single.  He must have broken up with that chick he wasn’t sure about.  Morgan was probably the only guy on the team Terry’d ever had a real conversation with so he might as well start there.
            “Hey man.”
            “Uh, hey man, it’s Terry. Trebichavsky.”
            “Yeah, I have caller ID, man, what’s up?”
            “Uh, hey, I saw on facebook you’re single.  Did you break up with that chick?”
            “Oh,” Morgan sounded confused, probably wondering why the hell Terry gave a shit.  “Yeah, why?”
            “Listen, what are you doing on June 22nd?”
            “Uh, I dunno.  Why?”  He sounded suspicious.
            “Listen, I know this is weird, dude, but it’s my school’s grad ball and…”
            Morgan chuckled.  “Hey dude, you asking me out?”
            “Hilarious dude,” said Terry, trying to mask his embarrassment.  “No man, my girlfriend has these two friends who need dates.  They wanna go with hockey players.”
            Morgan laughed again.  “Oh man, puckbunnies need a date to prom?  I’m supposed to go with both of them or what?”
            “Man, they’re always together, they’re fucking interchangeable, I bet they’d be happy to share,” Terry laughed.  “Can you think of another guy who’d be willing to come?  I mean, are you willing?”
            “Are they hot?”
            “Yeah, they’re pretty cute, I’d do ‘em.  Nice tits, nice ass.  Average height.  Long, black hair on both.  One’s black, one’s Indian or something.”
            “Oh, so you called me ‘cause they’re ethnic?” Morgan laughed.  “I’m the only non-white guy you know?”
            Terry paused, confused.  “Uh, what?”
            Morgan sighed.  “Uh, nevermind.  It’s just, I’m Latino.”
            “Oh, I didn’t know.”
            “You thought I was white.”
            “I never thought about it dude.”
            “Yeah, white people never think about it.”
            “Uh, sorry, I guess,” Terry stammered awkwardly.
            “Anyway, what are their names?”
            “Wait, is Morgan a Latino name?”
            Morgan chuckled.  “Aw’right you got me.  My mom’s Mexican but my dad’s white.”
            “Ok, see ‘cause you totally look white,” said Terry with an awkward chuckle.
            “Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks I’m white.  But I mean I’m only half white.  There’s a difference.”
            “Is it, I mean, it’s insulting if someone thinks you’re white?”
            “I guess not.  It’s just, I feel like if I don’t tell people then it’s like I’m trying to hide it but I don’t wanna hide it.  Not that anyone would care but you know, some people would.  My mom’s like actually from Mexico so she has an accent and shit and you wouldn’t believe the fucking discrimination.  People treat her like shit all the time.  In her job she has to deal with these rich white bitches who think she’s retarded just ‘cause her English isn’t perfect.  It’s fucking bullshit.”
            “That sucks, man.”
            “Yeah, uh, sorry dude, you didn’t call to hear about my life.  What was uh…”
            “Do you speak Spanish?”
            “Si,” Morgan said with a laugh.
            “Cool.  Anyway, yeah.  The chicks’ names are Melanie and Stephanie.  Listen, I’m not gonna lie, they’re both pretty chatty.  Sometimes a bit annoying I guess, but they’re real sweet and I think they’re both into hooking up.  Maybe even together.  So you game?”
            “Ok man, sure, why not?”
            “Really?” Terry was surprised.
            “Yeah sure, man.”
            “So which one you want?  Mel or Steph?”
            “Which one’s which?”
            “Melanie is… she’s Sri Lankan.  Well, I mean she’s Canadian obviously but she’s Sri Lankan I think.  Steph is um…” Terry paused, not sure which term Morgan would consider most politically correct.  “She’s black.”
            “Which one’s hotter?”
            “Well what you into?  Tits or ass?”
            “Oh, it’s one or the other?” Morgan laughed.
            “Well no actually.  They’re both the same.  I don’t even know.”
            “Which one would you rather hook up with?”
            “Dude,” Terry considered the question seriously.  “I dunno.  I guess I’m an ass man so… I guess Steph ‘cause she has a bit more booty.  Although Mel has nice DSLs.”
            “Ok, whatever, I’ll take the one with the ass.  Who you gonna hit up to take the other one?”
            “I dunno, you got any ideas?”
            “Yeah, try Scheffer, he’s always up for a new chick.”
            “Aw’right, man, thanks.”
            “So fuck, I gotta rent a tux and shit?”
            “Yeah man, sorry.”
            “Hey it’s cool.  If I like her she can be my date to my grad.”
            “Two proms, shit dude.  I really appreciate this, eh?”
            “Hey, you’ll owe me one.”
            “For sure, dude.”
            Terry called Scheffer next and sure enough he was up for it.  Mission accomplished.

“You reek of smoke,” said Cerise as Terry joined her in the fishbowl.
            “Sorry,” said Terry.
            “I wish you’d quit.”
            “I pretty much have.  I didn’t smoke all weekend and I haven’t smoked yet today.”
            “Then how come you smell like a homeless man’s ass crack?”
            Terry laughed.  “Come on, it’s not that bad!”
            “It’s pretty bad,” said Cerise.
            “Well it’s ‘cause Karine and them still smoke.  I mean I’m not gonna stop hanging out with my friends.”
            Cerise sighed and eyed Terry with annoyance.  It really pissed her off that he still smoked.  She knew he was cutting down but even one cigarette was seriously unacceptable.  He made a goofy face to break the tension and she laughed in spite of herself and allowed him to give her a little kiss.
            “So how come you couldn’t hang out with me on the weekend?” he asked.  “Too busy hanging out with that fucking hair guy?”
            “Jason Harris?”
            “No, I went shopping for a prom dress,” she smiled happily.
            Terry brightened significantly.  “Oh yeah?  Did you get one?”
            “Yeah, it’s really nice.  It’s a Chinese style dress and it has a flower pattern on it and its royal blue.”
            “Royal blue?”
            “Yeah, like a dark blue but not like navy, like bright.  Kinda like ultramarine.”
            “Oh, that clears it right up,” he said with an amused smile.
            “Well anyway, it’s nice.”
            “Even if you wore a paper bag you’d still look nice.” He leaned in for a kiss and she giggled as she kissed him back.  “Hey, I got dates for the Greens.”
            “Oh yeah?  Are they cute?”
            “I guess,” Terry shrugged.  “Not as cute as me obviously but hey, whatcha gonna do, eh?” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.
            Cerise laughed and hugged Terry.  “Thanks so much, Terry.  I really appreciate it.  Mel and Steph will be so excited!  What are their names?”

            “Ok, you’re going with this guy.  Nick Morgan,” said Cerise.
            “Oh my god, he’s so cute!” squealed Steph.
            It was true, he was pretty hot.  Wavy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes.  There was even a pic of him without a shirt on and he was hella ripped.  Cerise was impressed with Terry’s choice. 
            “Where’s my guy?” asked Mel, pushing Steph aside so she could get a better view of the monitor in the computer lab.  Cerise and the Green Girls were gathered around a computer, logged on to facebook. 
            “His name is Gordon Scheffer.”
            His profile wasn’t accessible so the only pic they had access to was the one of Terry’s entire hockey team.  They could barely see his face.
            “I dunno, is he cute?” asked Mel.
            “He looks ok, I think so,” said Sarah.
            “He doesn’t look very tall,” pouted Mel.  “I mean, look, compare him to your guy and to Terry.  They’re both way taller.”
            “Yeah but Terry is 6’3”,” said Cerise.  “This Nick guy looks like he’s at least 6 feet.  And this Gordon guy is just a bit shorter, he’s gotta be at least 5’10”, which is still taller than you in heels.”
            “Yeah, I guess,” shrugged Mel.
            “Mel!  Come on!  We’re going to prom with hockey players!  And if your guy ends up being a dork, we can share my guy,” smiled Steph.
            “Ok!” squealed Mel.  “So Sarah, who are you gonna go with?”
            “Seriously, you have to get going.  We have less than a month left!”
            “Well I’ve kinda been thinking of someone but he’ll never ask me.  He’s too much of a wuss.”
            “What a loser,” said Steph.
            “Totally,” agreed Mel.
            “Why don’t you ask him?” asked Cerise.
            “Yeah, I guess I’ll have to,” nodded Sarah. 

            “He’s bringing that bitch in our limo?” sneered Erica, leaning against the locker next to Karine’s, oblivious that a kid wanted to get into it.
            “Chill, Erica.  It’s not that big of a deal,” said Karine.  She noticed the kid trying to get into his locker but was content to make him wait.
            “That bitch is so going down,” growled Erica.
            “Well anyway,” said Chrissy.  “I’m gonna tell Andrew to get a red bow tie and cummerbund thingy to match my dress.”
            “Wait, you’re going with Andrew?” asked Erica, trying to hide her surprise and jealousy and totally failing.
            “Yeah,” said Chrissy with a sly smile.
            “Since when?”
            “We’re going out again.  Well I mean, we never stopped really.  We fuck every weekend.  So yeah, we’re going together.”
            Erica was clearly pissed off.  Karine shared a glance with Chrissy and they both fought to keep from laughing.
            “So who’re you gonna go with, Erica?” Karine asked sweetly.
            “Yeah, who are you gonna go with?” echoed Christina.
            Erica narrowed her eyes.  “Terry.”
            Karine rolled her eyes.  “Yeah right.”
            “Terry’s going with Cherry,” said Chrissy.  “Hey, Terry and Cherry.  Did you guys ever notice before that they rhyme?  That’s so fun!”
            “Are you trying to make me puke?” snarled Erica.  “Look, we all know Terry hasn’t even gotten a blow job from that bitch, he is so ready to trade up.  I’ll get him to go with me.”
            “You’re delusional,” smirked Karine.  “Terry is totally far gone on Cherry.  It doesn’t matter that she’s not sucking his dick.  He’s into her.  And you know, for all we know they are hooking up.  I mean you’ve seen the way they kiss.  And I have homeroom with them, every morning they’re practically ripping each other’s clothes off before Taffy shows up.  It’s totally indecent.”
            “So that’s the proof that he’s hard up,” said Erica.
            “Whatever,” said Karine.  “I just hope you’re not counting on going with him.  I mean, I hope you have a plan B.”
            “Yeah, I hope you have a plan B,” nodded Chrissy, barely trying to hide her amusement.
            “Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head, Chrissy.  I always have something up my sleeve,” said Erica in a tone that completely shut Chrissy down.
            Even Karine got a bit scared. 

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