Total bullshit! This was seriously total and utter bullshit! Without even consulting Shauna, her mother had gone ahead and applied to
in her stead. And somehow she got in. Her mother had filled out all the paperwork and enrolled her in all of her classes. She’d printed out maps of the school and bought Shauna all of her books and only told her a day in advance. Now it was the first day of school and Shauna was dressed in a fancy new outfit picked out by her mom, carrying a fancy new backpack, holding a fancy new laptop. The laptop was the only cool thing about all this. John Abbott College
Shauna’s mother pulled up to the back of the school and turned to Shauna. “I’ll meet you here at four o’clock, understood?”
“I can take the bus, mom.”
“No need. I can pick you up.”
Oh god, was it going to be like this all year? Would her mother be babysitting her all the time? It was so insane. She even had to keep track of everything she spent, writing it all down and submitting the receipts to her parents, presumably so they’d be able to track her movements. Why didn’t they just implant her with a tracking device and be done with it? Good thing she had her own money, so she could buy beer and stuff without them knowing. It would run out fast though if she wasn’t careful ‘cause she’d been forbidden from keeping her job at the bookstore during the fall, which totally sucked. Ms. Simon had expected it; Cerise wouldn’t be working during the school year either but Shauna would have preferred working rather than going to school. School was total bullshit! She’d never be able to handle it! There were so many classes and so many people and everyone was going to hate her!
The only good thing was that Cerise was a student here too. And Shauna really didn’t want Cerise to see her being treated like a baby. “Seriously mom, I can take the bus. I can do all of this myself. I got a job didn’t I? I proved I can be responsible.”
It was such a lie. Shauna was already trying to figure out how often she could skip class and still pass. She’d have to figure out the best way to cheat. Her mother regarded her with concern but finally pushed her out of the car and left her mercifully alone.
She walked into the school and stepped off to one side to consult her maps. This place was so big! She’d never find her way around! She started walking, trying to get a feel for the place. She only had half an hour to find her first class so best get to it. Maybe Cerise would be in her class! That would be awesome. She felt like such an idiot in her pink shirt and beige skirt. If her mom kept picking out her clothes she’d just pack regular clothes and change at school. She hated wearing this shit. She wanted to be back in her baggy pants and grey hoodies. They were so much more comfortable and she felt so much less self-conscious in her own clothes. She had to admit that people treated her better when she wore this preppy-girl shit but wearing a bra was so irritating and these shoes pinched her toes.
She found her class and checked the number on her papers with the number on the door a few times just to be sure. She stepped inside and saw that it was basically the same type of room as in high school. She’d expected college to have those big auditorium rooms where you can just disappear into the crowd. A few people were already in the class, typing away on their laptops. Shauna chose a seat in the back and opened her laptop as well, and started playing freecell.
“I liked all that stuff you said to Willy. You know, about the whole deal with Jenn. Being responsible and stuff,” Cerise said to Terry as they walked into John Abbott for the first time this semester.
This summer had been awesome for Cerise and it was sad to see it end but she was still glad to be back at school. Well, mostly. She was looking forward to Theatre Workshop at the very least and she was also hoping that being back in school would give Terry a better schedule. He’d be busy with hockey again but she could deal with hockey. Dealing with Britt was another story. Maybe now that he was back in school Vicky wouldn’t place so many demands on him. Cerise didn’t voice these hopes though since it seemed to be a touchy subject with Terry. But ever since she’d learned about Jenn’s pregnancy she’d been thinking about kids a lot. And how she didn’t want any.
“Yeah, he’s a ‘tard,” nodded Terry.
They walked to the administration office where they’d get their locker assignments. This year they’d requested to share a locker.
“So what would you do if you got a girl pregnant?” Cerise asked casually.
“A girl? Or you?” he smiled.
“Well you’re on the pill, right?”
They got their locker assignment and found their locker in Casgrain and dumped in their junk.
“God, I feel so bad for Jenn,” Cerise sighed.
“Yeah, but we can’t put all the blame on Willy. Her own stupidity played a part too.”
“I know. But it’s not like this kinda shit only happens to stupid people. I mean, sometimes things just happen. I mean, even the pill isn’t a hundred percent.”
“Yeah,” Terry nodded. “Well if something happened, I mean I’d do whatever you wanted. It’s your body.”
“So you’d stick by me if I wanted to keep it?”
“Of course,” he said like it was obvious. “But would you actually keep it?”
“God, no! I’d totally get an abortion.”
“Yeah, totally,” he agreed.
“No way!” said Cassie as Karine relayed the news about Jenn’s pregnancy.
“Gross,” said Janice. “Can you imagine having Willy’s baby?”
“Well she’s getting an abortion obviously,” said Karine.
Cerise entered the theatre and walked up the steps to where they were sitting. “What’s going on?”
“I was telling them about Furry Jenn and her Furry fetus,” explained Karine.
Cerise screwed up her face like she was offended but didn’t say anything.
“You know, this could be the wake-up call she needs,” mused Janice. “Or she could be one of those chicks who uses abortion as a form of birth control.”
“Does anyone actually do that?” asked Cerise in shock.
“Some people are way white trash,” nodded Janice. “Trust me, I’ve met them.”
“Nasty,” said Cassie in disgust. “So is Jenn ok?”
“We don’t know,” said Cerise. “We were way mean to her. Before we realized what was going on, we all just sat there taking Willy’s side as he bitched her out.”
“Hah! Classic,” laughed Janice.
Cerise looked like she wanted to say more but she couldn’t because Hugh and Fred walked in and started the class. They all vacated their seats and went to sit on the stage so Hugh and Fred could get a good look at them. They did a roll call and some other boring shit and then went on to announce that they’d be doing The Sound of Music this semester! So awesome!
Almost the entire class cheered while a few growlers (Hugh’s term for those who couldn’t sing) moaned in pain. Cassie was a growler and Karine felt bad for her because she’d end up getting a shitty role like a maid or a soldier or some shit. She also kind of felt bad for causing Cassie and Jay’s breakup but when you really thought about it, all she’d done was speed up the inevitable. It’s not like those two were destined for marriage or anything. And seriously, did a growler have any business being in theatre in the first place? Karine was so gonna audition for Maria. She looked around at the other students, wondering if any of them would pose a threat. Karine was second-year now so she was a shoo-in for the best role. She looked at Cerise and wondered what role she’d get. Would Hugh and Fred consider her for Maria? No, they wouldn’t. Would they? Better not. Or else.
Terry entered his classroom for Sociology and immediately walked towards the back of the room but then he noticed Nick Morgan sitting towards the middle. “Hey.”
Nick looked up from his laptop and smiled, returning the greeting and shaking Terry’s hand as he took the seat next to him. “Sociology, eh?”
“Of all the courses I took last year I liked Anthro the best so I figured Sociology might be sorta the same deal.”
“I kinda had the same thought process, but for me last year it was Psych,” nodded Nick.
“I’m avoiding Psych like the plague,” chuckled Terry. “Just ‘cause, you know, everyone takes it.”
“I know, I’m so boring. But fuck, path of least resistance and all that.”
“Totally.” Terry nodded and then switched gears. “You’re on the team again this year, eh?”
“Yeah,” Nick nodded like it was obvious.
“I considered quitting,” Terry admitted, shrugging like it was an embarrassing thing to admit.
“Why?” asked Nick with the exact degree of shock Terry expected.
“I dunno man,” Terry sighed. “I’m just so busy these days. And I dunno if I even like it anymore. Sometimes I feel like maybe I just keep doing it out of habit.”
“But you’re so good!”
“Good at what? Beating people up?”
“Well, yeah,” Nick said with a grin.
Terry rolled his eyes and smirked. Yeah, that’s all anyone thought he was good for. Maybe that’s why he wanted to quit, and why he kept taking care of Britt even though it wasn’t really his responsibility. He wanted to do something good, something constructive, instead of destructive. But whatever. If he quit the team everyone would think he was a pussy.
“Vornin’ Mani, kornin’
,” said Jay as he joined Vani and Karl at the Munch Box in their usual spot. Marl
“Jornin’ May,” they replied without missing a beat. Jay was pleased to see that his new shtick had caught on so quickly. With the guys you never knew ‘cause they were just as likely to make fun of you as embrace you.
“I got Lewis for
two, ever have him?” Jay asked, digging into his poutine. Cal
“Nope,” said Karl.
“Don’t,” advised Jay.
“You always complain about teachers. It’s not the teacher that matters, it’s the material.”
“The teacher mega makes a difference!” Vani loudly objected.
“It’s not like they make or break the deal,” said Karl.
“They mega make or break the deal! I’d say they are the most important factor!”
“Hey’” said Willy as he joined them.
“Wornin’ Milly,” they all replied.
“If I’m Milly then you’re May,” Willy scowled at Jay.
“Just so,” Jay nodded.
“So how’s your dead fetus doing?” asked Vani. “Little Willy killer.”
“Hey, that’s a tongue twister,” laughed Jay, turning it into a song, to the tune of Little Miss Muffet. “Little Willy killer, met Ben Stiller and killed his baby too. When Ben found out, he punched Willy in the mouth and said boy, what did you do?”
“Well done,” said Vani. “That’s my new favourite song… Whoa!” he exclaimed suddenly.
They all turned to see what he was looking at. Jay couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. “What is it?”
“Cerise’s stalker! The porta-potty chick!”
Jay looked around and finally saw the back of her head and she walked down the hall.
“I guess she’s taking the stalking to a new level,” mused Vani.
“She prob’ly goes here now,” said Karl.
“Imagine that, enrolling in a school just to stalk your prey. I really do admire her level of dedication if nothing else.”
“Whose dedication?” asked Sarah as she and Cerise joined them.
“Porta-potty chick and her dedication to stalking Cerise,” smiled Vani.
“Oh my god, she’s not my stalker!” Cerise groaned.
“We just saw her two seconds ago! She was looking for you!” insisted Vani.
“Not even,” Cerise rolled her eyes.
“We did see her,” Karl confirmed. “I think she goes here now. She had a backpack. It’s a telltale sign.”
“Yeah a backpack filled with surveillance equipment no doubt!” insisted Vani.
Terry Trebineanderthalleadingtheneanderthalishsky came along with one of this hockey buddies in tow.
“Terry!” Vani squealed. “Cerise’s stalker goes here now! We just saw her lugging around a huge camera and telephoto lens, trying to snap a pic of Cerise!”
Terry Trebiderpsky raised his eyebrows in shock.
“At least half of that is a lie,” said Cerise. “If not all of it.”
“At least half of it’s true,” insisted Vani. “So Terry, aren’t you going to introduce your new friend?” He looked at the hockey guy suspiciously.
“You’ve met Nick,” Terry Trebilikewe’resupposedtorememberyourstupidfriendssky chuckled.
“Yes, I supposed we have,” said Vani with narrowed eyes. “Hello Nick.”
“Hey Van,” replied Nick with a confused look.
“So Terry, is Nick your new best friend?” asked Vani.
Karl snickered as Terry explained that Nick was just one of the guys on his hockey team.
“Mmhhmm. Just seems odd that you would bring him here… to our sanctioned meeting place. After all, he’s not part of the group. He hasn’t taken the oath.”
“There’s an oath?” asked Nick.
“He’s just joking,” said Terry Trebiobviouslyembarrassedwhatadouchesky.
“I don’t mind taking an oath,” shrugged Nick.
“Nick, Let me ask you something,” Vani said with hands folded under his chin. “How do you feel about fruity, emotional, needy, stupid, excessively nerdy, excessively non-nerdy and boring people?”
“Um, mostly against.”
“Mostly, mostly you say,” whistled Vani.
“Mostly,” said Cerise in a Newt voice, quoting Aliens.
“’Cause like when you say fruity, what do you mean exactly?” asked Nick.
“Hippies, Nick!” Vani exclaimed. “Dirty, dirty hippies!”
“What counts as a hippy?” he asked.
“People who sell crystals and like, try to align your chakras,” explained Cerise.
“Oh yeah, ok, that’s lame,” Nick agreed. “But like, my mom works in non-profit and I guess that’s kinda fruity. Like kinda touchy-feely.”
“Mmm, sounds very emotional and needy as a profession,” nodded Vani. “Your case is under review. We’ll consult and get back to you.”
“Ok, I await your response with bated breath,” said Nick with a grin.
This Nick dude was putting up with Vani’s shtick really well but Jay still hated him. He was tall and good looking and built and he had good skin and good hair and he was like the exact definition of that tall, dark and handsome thing people always went on about. What a fucking asshole.
Jay took his leave, explaining that he had to get to class, which was true but he wasn’t sure how much more he could stand of sitting at a table with not one but two Neanderthals. Just as he was leaving Karine arrived and Jay considered skipping his class but no, he couldn’t start blowing off the semester on the first day back!
“Later,” Karine replied to Jay as he shuffled away. The rest of the nerds went with him and Karine sat next to Sarah and across from Terry, who was sitting in between Cerise and that cute Nick Morgan guy.
“They’re not usually so surreal,” Terry told Nick.
“Yes they are,” smiled Sarah
“Yeah, they are,” agreed Cerise. “But you get used to it.”
“And then you get sucked in,” laughed Karine. “And then there’s no turning back. Save yourself while you can, Nick.
“I’ll take my chances,” grinned Nick, revealing a set of perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth. He was kind of like Terry in that he was almost too good looking. He’d be one to watch out for. He went on to compliment Karine on her outfit and then gave Sarah and Cerise each a compliment, confirming that he was indeed one to watch out for. Sarah giggled like a schoolgirl, although Karine supposed they actually were schoolgirls so it was perhaps excusable.
They all took turns getting up to stand in line for food, always leaving someone behind at the table to save their seats and once they were all back together Nick asked what everyone was doing tonight. Sarah said she was free perhaps a bit too eagerly; didn’t she still have a boyfriend? Terry said he was busy taking care of his sister.
“So you live with your step-mom?” Nick asked. “That’s gotta be weird.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s fucked up,” Terry shrugged. “But I like living with my little sister. She needs me.”
“Terry practically raised Britt,” Karine confirmed. “His dad did shit.”
“That’s cool,” said Nick. “I didn’t know you were all family oriented and shit.”
“Well I dunno,” shrugged Terry.
“Your dad doesn’t mind you living with his ex?”
“What’s he gonna do, stop me? I’m eighteen, I can do what I want.”
“Speaking of doing what you want, did you ever end up doing anything with your search for your bio-mom?” asked Karine. Terry sort of glared at her and she covered her mouth. “Sorry, was I not supposed to say anything?”
“No, it’s fine,” he shrugged. “I found out recently that my mom isn’t my like, real mom or whatever. It’s a whole thing,” he explained to Nick.
“Sounds like you’ve got lots of… things.”
“Well I guess it’s all just the one thing,” Terry shrugged again. “I dunno, who wants to tell the tale?” he smiled at the table, blushing slightly.
Karine jumped in to explain the story, about how his dad’s mistress became his mom and how his bio-mom ran off and he only learned this stuff last year of his own accord and it had been like a secret up to that point. Karine could tell Terry was embarrassed but it was nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not like he’d done anything wrong. Nick was sufficiently shocked but he acted really cool about it, saying how everyone’s families had weird shit and everyone had secrets.
Karine mused on her own secrets for a moment, wondering if she was being a hypocrite by telling Terry’s tales instead of her own. But her secret was different. If people knew what the Asshole had done to her they’d think of her differently. She supposed Terry worried about that as well, about how people would perceive him if they knew his family dramas. But Karine thought his story made him more sympathetic, more like the hero. Karine didn’t want to be the protagonist in a story about a chick who seeks out her rapist for revenge.
“So what’s your secret then?” Sarah asked Nick with a glint in her eye. “If everyone has a secret, you must have one too.”
Nick grinned. “That beneath all this devastating handsomeness, lie killer abs.” He lifted his shirt to show them and they all laughed. He really did have an amazing body. Yeah, this guy was seriously one to watch out for.