Thursday, June 7, 2012

Season 2 – Episode 14 – Act I

What an exhausting day.  After all the insanity in the bakery Terry had to keep going and take his little sister to the park.  Cerise came along and they sat on a bench and watched Britt play in the sand. 
“Let’s move to that bench, where there’s more shade,” suggested Cerise.
Terry liked sitting in the sun but Cerise was always worried about her skin, which was cool, ‘cause it was flawless and she would never become one of those gross old ladies with chicken skin.
“So does Brown make you do stuff like that all the time?” Cerise asked.  “Like the push-ups and shit?”
“Yeah,” nodded Terry.  “He’s always coming up with new ways to humiliate us.”
“But you weren’t humiliated,” laughed Cerise.  “You loved it!  I mean maybe it wasn’t fun but you enjoyed showing-off how strong you are.  Everyone was impressed.”
Terry shrugged and chuckled.  It was true, he had sort of enjoyed it, but he didn’t want to seem like a macho loser.
“Admit it!” Cerise needled him.
“Ok yeah, it was kinda cool.  I liked that you showed up.  How much did you see?”
“Just the push-ups but Karine said you were bench-pressing Vani.  Janice was totally loving it, all saying how hot you are, as usual.  And that new girl, whats-her-face, she was practically humping you.”
“I know, she’s weird.  She’s there all the time.  Like constantly.  I think she has a crush on me.”
“God, what else is new?” asked Cerise with a roll of her eyes.  “Every fucking girl ever has a crush on you.  Sometimes it gets old.”
“Ok, first of all, that Furry Jenn chick has a crush on all of us.  I mean she flirts with Vani and Lee and even Myles.  And Janice is the same, she’d fuck a pointy log.”
“Yeah but still, girls are always into you, it gets tiring sometimes.”
Terry chuckled. “Yeah, ‘cause I wouldn’t know what that’s like.  Always having to watch Tom moon over you.  And Willy, that fucking sleaze.  And that Jeff guy, I’m telling you he digs you.”
She scrunched up her face in confusion.  “I don’t know why you say that.  Guys aren’t into me.  They like girls like Karine.  All boobalicious and stuff.”
“Ok, yeah!”  Terry laughed loudly.  “No guys are into you.  They don’t wet their pants anytime you smile at them.  They don’t mentally undress you every time they see you.”
“Well it’s true!”
“Really?  Guys do that?”
“Of course!  Hello, like this is news?” he laughed.
“I guess not.  So you’re saying you mentally undress other girls?  You like, think about doing stuff with them?”
“Oh, I am not gonna fall for that!” Terry shook his head and raised his hands defensively.  “This is entrapment.”
“So you do!”
“It’s normal to do that.  I mean if I see a hot girl I’m not gonna like, put on blinders and run away and shit.  Yeah I look but it doesn’t mean anything.  You don’t hafta like, worry or whatever.  You’re the only chick for me.”
She smiled shyly.  “And you’re the only dude for me.”
“Then get over here!”  He grabbed her and kissed her as she laughed.
“Stop kissing Cewise!” Britt cried out.  “Me want kisses too!”
The little scamp ran over to them and hurled herself at Terry.  Cerise quickly dodged out of the way and Terry picked up his sister, lifting her up over his head as she squealed with delight.  He brought her down to his lap and kissed her on the forehead.
“You love me da most!” she insisted.
“Yup, you’re the bestest sister ever!” Terry laughed.
“Yeah!”  Britt sneered at Cerise, who responded with a sigh and a tight smile. 

It was pretty cool to have a girlfriend during the summer.  Way cooler than during the school year.  During the year Jay’s parents had always given him a hard time about staying up late but now they were pretty much leaving him alone, even though he always had to get up early to go to work.  He was actually surprised his mother trusted him to get to work on time, especially since he had a tendency to forget to set his alarm.  But it was all good ‘cause Karl had taken to calling him every morning to wake him up.
Cassie’s parents were fairly strict, more so than Sarah’s had been but she was still able to stay out ‘till at least midnight every night.  It had become standard procedure for the gang to congregate at the bakery every day but before they headed that way Cassie would always come to the yacht club first.  They’d often make out in the tool shed and once, when the Commodore was at a regatta at another club, Jay brought Cassie up to the Commodore’s office and she went down on him.  It was pretty awesome.
Finding opportunities to have sex was tough, but not impossible.  Whenever their parents were out they’d go to each other’s houses and one time they did it in Jay’s mom’s car, which had been uncomfortable but worth it. 
            Jay felt sort of bad comparing Cassie to Sarah but was glad to find it was a favourable comparison.  Cassie was more his speed, which is to say she let him take the lead.  He didn’t get embarrassed and feel inadequate the way he had with Sarah. 
            Speaking of Sarah, she seemed to be into this other instructor at BYC.  He was kind of a douche but whatever, Sarah could do what she wanted. 
            “Let’s go, lovebirds,” said Karl, interrupting Jay and Cassie’s make-out sesh.
            They collected Sarah from the clubhouse and took the 211 to the bakery.  As soon as they walked in the door, Furry Jenn accosted them.  “I have lollypops!” she exclaimed.
            “That’s great,” said Sarah dismissively, pushing past her to join Janice and Karine and Karine’s retarded Neanderthal boyfriend.  Was it possible for someone to be even more intolerable than Terry Trebiherpderpsky? 
            Jay, Cassie and Karl joined Vani, Lee, Willy and Myles, who sat at a table watching something on an ipad.
            “Where’s Cerise?” asked Cassie.
            “Off babysitting Terry’s little sister,” explained Vani.
            “Oh cute!”
            “Bleh! Babies are gross,” said Jay.
            “No they’re not!  Babies are cute!” insited Cassie.
            “Cute like your face!” Jay exclaimed.  “Ok, yeah, so pretty cute.”  He leaned over and kissed his girlfriend while the guys groaned.  They were so totally jealous ‘cause he was the only one with a girlfriend.  It was pretty sweet.
            “Who wants one?” hollered Furry Jenn, waving around the lollypops.
            They pretty much all said they’d take one and she announced that they’d have to come get them, stuffing all the candy down her shirt, except for one lollypop, which she unwrapped and stuck in her mouth, licking it sensually, or as sensually as was possible for a chick with no tits.
            “Dear god, it’s called subtlety woman, look it up,” said Janice under her breath.
            Karine and Sarah both eyed Janice with smirks.
            “When I do it, it’s charming!  This kid is just a skank.  And she’s underage!”
            It truly was disgusting.  Here was this child, trying to be sexy and failing miserably and yet the boys seemed to be into it, staring at her openly with mouths agape.  Both Lee and Willy stuck their hands down her shirt and pulled out lollypops as she squirmed and squealed.  So nasty.  At least Mike didn’t seem impressed.  Karine didn’t think she’d be able to keep seeing a guy who would fall for such obvious bullshit.
            “She’s not even sexy,” said Sarah.  “She has the body of a boy.  I mean not to say that different body types can’t be attractive but seriously?”
            “That’s why she overcompensates,” said Karine.  “She wants to take every opportunity to remind the boys she’s a girl.”
            Mike watched her gyrate to the music, bouncing the candy around in her shirt.  “How old is she?” he asked with a furrowed brow.
            “No one knows,” shrugged Sarah.
            “Hey girly,” Karine called out.  “How old are you?”
            Furry Jenn scampered over to their table and asked how old they thought she was.
            “Twelve,” said Karine.
            “Oh my god, I’m fifteen!”
            “Dibs!” yelled Willy.
            Oh gross.  Seriously?

            “Really?” asked Karl skeptically.  “Willy, you’re eighteen.”
            Cassie seemed horrified, and Jay acted like he was too, but fifteen didn’t seem that young and Furry Jenn was kind of cute in her own way.
            “Google that shit,” commanded Willy.  “Age of consent in Canada.”
            Myles typed into his ipad and read the wiki, which stated that the age of consent in Canada was sixteen but you could have sex with a fifteen year old if you were no more than five years older.
            “Score!  I’m so there,” announced Willy.  “Hey Furry Jenn, wanna fuck?”
            “What?” she giggled.
            “You and me, let’s get it on,” he suggested. 
            “Oh my god!” she laughed, pulling off her t-shirt to reveal a skimpy tank-top underneath.  All the lollypops fell to the ground and she scooped them up and handed them out. 
            Even though she didn’t have tits, she still had nipples and they were pinging like crazy, totally visible under her thin tank-top.  It was hard not to watch her as she danced around, her shirt riding up to reveal tight abs and a shiny belly ring. 
            “Oh my god, I have to tell Cerise about this shit,” said Sarah, typing into her phone.
            “I bet Terise are totally doing the nasty right now,” mused Janice.  “I’m so jealous.  He was so fucking hot today!”
            “Hotter than usual?” smiled Sarah.
            “Totally!  Oh my god, Sarah, you’re such a fucking loser for missing it.  He was doing push-ups and shit while carrying Vani and Tiny-slut on his back.  And he was like, lifting weights with them being the weights.  It was so sexy.  I mean, not the part where Vani and Mini-pops where in the visual field but the part where Terry was proving he’s like, strong enough to lift both those geeks at the same time.”
            “He is pretty strong,” said Karine.  “So are you I bet,” she smiled at Mike, squeezing his bicep.
            “I could fucking carry those two around in my sleep,” Mike confirmed. 
            “Prove it!  Carry me around!” begged Janice. “Oh my god, I’m getting wet just thinking about it!”
            “Eww, Janice.  Stay away from my boyfriend.”

            “Oh my god, apparently Furry Jenn is being a total skeaze, all like, letting the guys feel her up,” said Cerise, reading a text from Sarah.
            “Like there’s anything to feel up,” snarked Terry.
            “So mean!” said Cerise, smacking Terry’s arm. 
            They were sprawled out on the couch, having finally gotten Britt to bed.  Vicky was out for the evening.
            “Now you’ve got something to feel up,” Terry said, putting his hand up her shirt. 
            She laughed and swatted at his hand playfully.  He wrapped her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, dropping her on the bed.  She giggled and he put his finger over his mouth, shushing her.  In an effort to stay quiet she put a pillow over her head while he went down on her.
            Furry Jenn danced with Willy, which was gross ‘cause his fat ass kept getting in the way of Jay’s view.  Cassie had gone to join the girls and Mike Towndouchesend so Jay was free to ogle Furry Jenn and her little nipples as much as he wanted.
            Her phone rang and she whined into it for like a million years and finally hung up, announcing that she had to go home.
            “Ok, bye then!” Karine sang out with a wave of her hand.
            Janice and Sarah giggled as Furry Jenn put her t-shirt back on and slunk out of the bakery.
            “Oh my god!  I thought she’d never leave!” Janice hollered.  “Why are we hanging out with this fucking fetus?!”
            “’Cause she’s hot,” Willy snickered.
            “Oh gross,” Sarah wrinkled her nose.
            “She looks like a boy!” Janice complained.
            “If I knew boys who looked like that I’d be gay,” Willy shrugged.
            “So you admit it!” Vani laughed.
            “Whatever,” said Willy. “I’m totally gonna tap that ass.”
            “Fucking hell, don’t make me visualize that shit,” Janice countered.
            “For once Janice and I agree,” said Karl, cocking his head.
            “Willy are you being serious, ‘cause she’s like way young,” complained Sarah.
            “She’s legal!  We looked it up!” Willy indicated the ipad.
            “Willy, I know you’re desperate, but get some standards,” Sarah snarked.
            “Fuck you, like you should talk, fucking slut,” said Willy.
            “What?!” Sarah practically screamed.
            Karl smacked Willy’s arm.  “Get your shit together, Willy Wonka.  Everything Sarah said it completely true.  You are standard-less.  You’d fuck a hole in the wall if it didn’t defy the laws of physics and close of it’s own accord whenever you came near it.”
            “A bit of a mouthful but still effective,” nodded Vani.
            “They can’t all be gold,” admitted Karl.  “But the point stands.”
            “So you wouldn’t do her?” asked Willy.
            Karl raised an eyebrow and said said Furry Jenn wasn’t to his taste
“Why not?  Her eyes aren’t slanty enough?  ‘Cause it’s not like Sarah’s boobs are much bigger.”
            “Oh my god!” Sarah exclaimed.  “Can I put in a request for Willy’s expulsion?”
            “Noted,” said Karl, typing into his phone.
            “Sarah is way hotter than Furry Jenn,” insisted Cassie.  “Jay, do you think Furry Jenn is hot?”
            Oh god.  Seriously?   How the hell was Jay supposed to answer that? “Well I think it’s kinda mean to say she’s not attractive just because she’s flat.”
            “She’s a zygote!” Janice hollered.
            “She’s only three years younger than us!” Willy spat.  “Why is everyone acting like that’s a big deal?!”
            “Um, dude kind of makes a good point,” Mike Townassend said.
            “Oh my god,” exclaimed Karine.  “So now you’re into her?”
            “I’m not into her.  But it’s not because she’s young.  It’s ‘cause she has no tits.”
            “You’re fucking racist,” Willy spouted.  “Racist against flat chicks!”
            They all looked at each other in confusion and Karl sighed and rubbed his forehead.  “Really, Willy, racist?  It’s no fun when you make it so easy.”
            “Well, prejudiced, whatever,” Willy pouted.
            “Ok, seriously, let’s take a poll.  I wanna know what all the guys think,” announced Janice.  “Mike and Karl are against.  Willy and Jay totally wanna fuck Little-miss-no-tits.”
Jay tried to object but Janice went on to ask Lee’s opinion.
            “I’d fuck her,” Lee shrugged indifferently.  “As long as she’s got a wet cunt I don’t see the problem.”
            “Myles doesn’t look at girls that way.  He’s too pure,” explained Vani.  “But I agree with Lee.  If there’s um, what’s that expression?  Grass in the field or whatever?”
            “I can’t believe you guys are falling for her cutesy shtick,” Janice said with disgust.
            “Oh please, Janice,” scoffed Vani.  “You’re just jealous ‘cause she’s stealing your shtick!  She’s cute and sexy and you can’t handle it ‘cause you’re not the star of the show anymore.  It’s pretty fucking like, non-feminist or whatever to say a girl can’t be sexy just ‘cause she’s flat.  Obviously all you girls are giving her shit just ‘cause you realize she’s better at playing the game than you.  You just feel threatened.”
            They all stared at Vani, and not even Janice had a retort.
            “Hah!” Vani shouted, pointing at all the girls.  “It’s true!  I just deconstructed all of you!  I have access to the female psyche! I’m a genius!”
            Karl, Willy and Lee all nodded their heads in agreement but Jay was too smart to admit Vani was totally right.
            “Oh like even,” Sarah scoffed angrily.
            “I’m totally right!  All you bitches is jealous!  You’se vindictive by nature!” he said with a homeboy accent.  “You’se all vindictive females!  Vindictive!”
            “Dude’s got a point,” Mike Townretardsend coughed into his hand.  “I’m just saying.”
            Karine shot daggers at him and he smiled and shrugged.  Cassie looked over to Jay with a scowl on her face and he whistled nonchalantly.  He wasn’t going to say a goddamned word.

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