Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Act V

“Today, Karine!” Erica’s shrill voice blasted upstairs.
“Relax,” said Karine as she walked downstairs wearing a sparkly, black, off the shoulder top, a mini-skirt, and knee-high boots with 3-inch heels.
It was 9pm and the gang was gathered in Karine’s living room.  As was their custom when they went clubbing they’d all dug into Karine’s beer supply and her mother’s liquor cabinet to start the evening’s festivities early.  Karine noticed all the boys noticing her when she joined them.  Andrew was never subtle with his leering and he even pretended to drool when she walked past him.  She sat next to Steven on the couch, who put his hand on her bare knee.  Her eyes darted over to Terry, who was always the most discreet of the bunch when it came to checking girls out.  He’d looked up when she’d walked in and his eyes had scanned her from top to bottom but his expression hadn’t changed and two seconds later he’d gone back to examining his beer.
Things were still weird between her and Terry.  He was acting totally normal again but they hadn’t had a chance to be alone since his freakout.  Not that she even wanted to be alone with him.  What if he got all pissy again?  He was probably over it by now but maybe not.  Karine couldn’t be sure if Erica had been telling the truth when she’d said that Terry had requested her presence tonight.  It wouldn’t have been the first time Erica made shit up just to get her way.  But why would she even invoke Terry’s name unless he’d said something?  Did she know how much Karine cared about Terry?  Was she really that smart?  Probably not, stupid cow.  So did that mean Terry really had told Erica to get Karine to come?  As if.  Terry would never ask Erica for anything, even if it was something as insignificant as passing the salt.  Whatever, it didn’t matter.  Karine would simply have to see how things went tonight and that would give her an idea of what was going on in Terry’s crazy little blonde head. 
“Should I have worn a skirt too?” asked Chrissy, looking down at her jeans.
“You look fine,” Karine assured her.  “Totally hot.”
“Totally,” agreed Andrew, grabbing Chrissy and pulling her towards him.
Chrissy giggled as she tumbled down onto Andrew’s lap.
“Ok, let’s go.  Who’s driving?” asked Erica.
Everyone groaned.  It was so annoying how they always had to go through this charade.  If Steven would just agree to drive in the first place it would save so much time. 
“You are,” said Karine.
“Uh no, I’m drinking.”
“Well I’m not driving,” insisted Karine.
“Well me neither.  I’m already drunk,” said Andrew.
“Me too,” nodded Chrissy.
“You’re the one with the car, Erica!” said Steven, clearly annoyed.
“Hey, I’m not the one who wanted to go to St-Laurent, so why should I be punished?”
Terry glanced up at Karine and looked away quickly.
“Terry has a car too you know,” snotted Erica.
“Nice try.  I’ll drive to but I won’t drive back.  There’s no fuckin’ way I’m going to a club if I can’t drink.”
“We could take the bus,” suggested Chrissy.
“Yeah.  I’m gonna take the bus.  Because I really enjoy sitting in other people’s vomit,” snarked Erica.
“She prefers her own,” smirked Terry.
“So what then?” asked Karine, looking at Steven.
“No!  I always end up driving!” he whined.
“And we all appreciate it,” Karine smiled and kissed him.
Steven tried to bitch about her designated driver rule but Karine shot him down with a look and he obediently took the keys to Erica’s car.  Steve didn’t even have a license, just a permit but as far as Karine was concerned that was better than risking more DUI death.

After leaving Shauna’s place Cerise had gone home for dinner and then joined the boys over at Jay’s.  They were in their usual slovenly state, surrounded by empty pizza boxes, coke bottles and bags of M&Ms.  Vani, as usual was dominating the game.  His character had conquered another faction of Jaffa and was now trying to infiltrate the Tok’ra. 
“I’m hungry,” announced Willy.
“So what else is new?” asked Karl.
“We just ate, you fat bastard,” said Vani.
“Like three hours ago!”
“I’m actually kinda hungry too,” said Cerise.
“See?  It’s not just me!  Jay, go get something.”
“You go get something!” said Jay, picking himself up and slamming his elbow down into Willy’s gut.
Willy grunted and pushed Jay down onto the floor.
“Do you have any ice-cream?” asked Cerise.
“No,” replied Jay.  “So where were you today anyway?”
“Nowhere,” she sighed. 
“The plot thickens,” said Vani.  “I bet you went to Fairview.  Girls are always going to the mall.  It’s what they do.”
Cerise glared at Vani and then shook her head in exasperation. 
“How ‘bout popcicles?  Do you have any popcicles?” asked Willy.
“I’ll pop your cycle!” growled Karl as he shot out his leg, kicking Willy’s shin. 
As usual, the gaming session degenerated into a brawl.  Cerise searched through the empty M&M bags looking for remains while she waited for the boys to tire themselves out.

            Erica’s voice was seriously the most annoying sound in the Universe.  She kept screeching at Steven to find parking and he kept yelling at her to butt out because he was doing his best.  She did have a point about Steve being too chicken shit to parallel park in a tight spot but at this point Terry just wanted to get out of the car and walk to the club, not that they’d even decided on where to go.  Erica had already given the guys an earful for dressing too casually, which eliminated all the clubs with dress codes.  Terry almost wished he’d dressed even more slovenly so they’d have trouble getting into even the lame clubs.  He probably wasn’t going to enjoy his evening anyway so might as well make it as painful as possible for Erica McBitchypants.

            It was only 10 o’clock when Karl announced he was going.  They all stared at him in disbelief.
            “What is up your ass lately?” asked Vani.  “Are you working on some sort of secret project?”
            “Oooh, are you trying to make a cyborg in the likeness of Summer Glau?” asked Jay.
            “No, but that’s a good idea.  Why don’t you work on the preliminary details and let me know when you’ve gotten to the blueprint stage,” suggested Karl.
            “Check,” agreed Jay.  “This will involve lots of Summer Glau googling.  We’d better get started.”
            Jay bounced over to the crappy old computer sitting on the nearby desk and typed in Summer Glau’s name. 
            “Ok, later,” said Karl as he started walking up the stairs.
            “Stop him!” yelled Vani and Willy launched himself onto the steps, pulling Karl down.
            “Where is your dedication?!” screamed Vani.
            “I’m just tired,” said Karl as he struggled to free himself.
            “Sleep is for pussies,” insisted Vani.
            Cerise swung out her arm and slapped Vani’s shoulder.  “Don’t use the word pussy in a derogatory sense.”
            “Whoa, Cerise totally just said the word pussy,” said Willy, staring at Cerise and releasing his grip on Karl.
            Karl kept walking upstairs but Vani ran over to him and dragged him back down.  “You can’t leave!  I still haven’t defeated the Tok’ra!”
            “It’s gonna take ages to defeat them!  You wouldn’t do it tonight anyway.”
            “My god, Karl, where is your dedication?  Don’t you wanna hear Cerise say pussy again?”
            “Say it again, Cerise!” demanded Willy.
            “Jay, hit Willy for me, I can’t reach,” said Cerise as she lounged lazily on the couch.
            Jay stood up and swung out his arm, smacking Willy in the chest.  Willy fell backwards and reached out to pull Jay down with him.  Jay fell and they wrestled while Vani dragged Karl back to the couch.
            “You’re extended,” huffed Vani.
            “Shut up,” said Karl in annoyance.
            “You’ve just earned yourself an extension.  Trying to leave early will only lead to staying even later than originally intended.”
            “How long do I have to stay?”
            “You dare to question me?  Double extension!” said Vani.
            Karl rolled his eyes and asked Vani how he wanted to infiltrate the Tok’ra.
            “Ok seriously though, food?” said Cerise.  “Willy, go to the dep and buy me some licorice.”
            “Go yourself,” said Willy, getting up off the floor.
            “You have to go!” insisted Cerise.  “It’s your punishment for using the word pussy as an insult!”
            “She’s got a point, Willy,” nodded Jay.
            “But Vani’s the one who said it!”
            Cerise shook her head in disapproval.  “Really, Willy?  You’re gonna try to pass the blame?  Grow up and go get some candy.”
            “Fine!  But I’m only getting stuff for Cerise.  The rest of you assholes can suck my dick if you want candy!”
            “Get some fudgesicles,” instructed Jay as Willy stomped upstairs. 
            Vani pondered.  “I’m pretty sure there’s a gay joke in there somewhere.”

            Erica, Christina and Andrew were dancing among a throng of skanks and douchebags.  Steven had gone off to buy drinks and Terry was finally alone with Karine.  He was trying to think of what to say but nothing came to mind, not that she’d be able to hear him over the music anyway.  Terry didn’t even like dance music that much.  Why the hell had he agreed to come tonight?  He used to enjoy clubbing, it was fun to just let the music pulse in his body and being sandwiched in massive crowds of scantily clad chicks was always fun but he wasn’t feeling it tonight.
Steven came back with two beers and handed one to Karine.  He was about to drink from the other when Karine took it away from him and handed it to Terry.  Steven scowled but didn’t protest.  He was so fucking pussy-whipped.  Terry smirked to himself as he drank the beer.  If he was sufficiently buzzed then the music would become pleasant, like the thumping of his heart.  He really did like dancing, though he often preffered to do it in more intimate settings like house parties.  It was more fun to hook up with chicks in houses than in clubs.

            Willy had come back with about two thousand pounds of licorice and they’d all stuffed themselves to the point of agony.  Willy had totally neglected to get fudgesicles, stupid fatty.  They were all lounging on the couches, listening to Vani’s playlist and Willy’s snores.  God, he was so annoying sometimes.
            “Somebody make him shut up,” said Jay.
            “You’re closer,” remarked Vani.
Jay swung his arms but couldn’t reach Willy, who was sprawled on the floor. 
“I can’t reach.”
“I think that means it’s time to go,” said Karl, getting up with much effort.
“Yeah, I guess,” agreed Vani.  “It’s getting pretty late.  But just for the record, you deserve another extension for saying that.”
“Fine, next time we game, I’ll get an extension.”
“But that’s no fair.  If one person gets an extention, doesn’t that mean we all have to be extended?” wondered Jay.  “I mean, no one wants to let the others game without them, except Cerise who has no dedication whatsoever.”
“Hey, what about Willy?  He totally lacks dedication!” whined Cerise.
“Yeah but we don’t expect anything more from that loser,” said Vani, kicking Willy awake.
“Whass’ goin’ on?” Willy wiped the drool from his mouth.
“Get the frakk out of my house, loser,” said Jay.
            “Yeah, freak, way to overextend your welcome,” said Vani as he and Karl walked upstairs.
            Willy got up and followed them upstairs.
            “Do you need help cleaning up?” Cerise asked Jay.
            “Clean what?” asked Jay.  He looked down at the mess on the table and swept it all onto the floor.  “There, it’s clean.”
            “Ok well, see you Monday,” said Cerise, not even laughing at his awesome joke.
            She lingered in the stairwell.
            “What’s up?” asked Jay.
            “Nothing.  Well, I mean… today was weird.”
            “I know, Karl is in a major funk lately.  I think he really is building a cyborg Summer Glau, which would be awesome obviously.  Now that the Sarah Connor Chrominomicles have ended we’re gonna need someone to protect us from Skynet.”
            Cerise didn’t seem nearly as amused by that as she should have been.  “I went to a movie with Shauna.”
            “Porta-potty chick.”
            “Oh.  What movie?”
            “That’s not the point, Jay!  The point is she totally freaked out!”
            “What do you mean?”
            “We went to her house after and I mean… I don’t even know!  But she totally freaked me out.”
            “What’d she do?”
            Apparently Porta-potty chick had gotten drunk and Cerise had seen a picture of them on her desktop, which was admittedly pretty freaky.  Then Porta-potty had tried to hug Cerise and even grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let her go.  Then she pushed her to the ground and tried to kill her or something.  Majorly fucked up shit.
            “You prob’ly shouldn’t hang out with her anymore,” advised Jay.
            “Yeah, ya think?”
            “Maybe she’s Breen,” suggested Jay.
            “How is she Breen?  She’s not from an ice planet!”
            “Yeah but we don’t know anything about the Breen.  Maybe they’re like, totally crazy stalkers with pictures of your on their desktops.”
            Cerise sighed heavily.  Jay shrugged, completely unsure of what to say.  He was just trying to be funny but Cerise didn’t seem to be getting it.
            “Ok, whatever, you obviously don’t give a shit,” she said, walking upstairs.
            What was he supposed to do?  What did she want?  He’d already told her she shouldn’t hang out with her crazy stalker anymore.  What more could he say?  Jay followed Cerise upstairs and locked the door behind her when she’d gone.  He descended back to the basement and wished he’d taken her up on her offer to help him clean up.  The place was a mess. 

            Terry leaned against Erica’s car, smoking a cigarette.  Karine skipped over to him on her crazy high heels.  They were almost eye to eye.  She lit up a cigarette and let it dangle from her lips, keeping her hands in her coat pockets.
            “Have a good time tonight?” she asked, slurring her words as she tried to keep the cigarette in place.
            “Not really,” he replied honestly.
            “Yeah, me neither,” she shivered. 
            Her coat only covered her torso so her legs were exposed.  It was crazy cold out.
            “You want my coat?” he asked, pushing away from the car and starting to unbutton his jacket. 
            “No, it’s ok, then you’ll freeze.”
            “I don’t mind.”
            “Steven’s coming, he’ll open the car and we can put on the heat.”
            Sure enough, Steven came over with Andrew and Christina.  They piled into the car and cranked up the heat.
            “So where the fuck is Erica?  I wanna go,” said Terry.
            “Seriously, are we supposed to wait here all night?” asked Andrew from the passenger seat.
            “Let’s just go,” said Terry.
            “We can’t just leave without her!” said Christina.
            “You bet we can,” smirked Terry.
            “But it’s her car,” insisted Chrissy.
            “So that’s our fault?” asked Karine.
            “Yeah, screw her,” said Terry.
            “That’s exactly what she’s doing,” laughed Andrew.  “Screwing.”
            “Seriously, she’s just gonna sleep over at some guy’s place anyway,” said Karine.  “We’re not about to wait here ‘till morning.”
            “Yeah but we can’t just take her car without even telling her,” said Steven.
            Terry was in the backseat and he rolled down the window.  Sticking his head outside, he yelled loudly.  “Erica, you fuckin’ whore, we’re taking your car so screw you, bitch!”  He came back into the car and rolled up the window.  “There, now she knows.  Let’s go.”
            They all laughed but Christina pulled out her cellphone and dialed.  “She’s not picking up,” she announced a second later.
            “So fuck her then,” sighed Terry.
            “You guys, that’s really mean,” said Chrissy.
            “So?” sneered Karine.  “I didn’t even wanna come tonight!”  She looked at Terry as she spoke, almost guiltily. 
            “I didn’t wanna come either,” he insisted defensively.
            “Well then why are we even here?” she asked.
            “Because Erica has fat bitch complex!  Ok, fuck it, seriously Steve, let’s go.”  Terry shoved the back of Steven’s head and Steve swivelled around, swinging his arm out at Terry, who dodged his blow without effort.
            Christina dialed again, asking them to wait five more minutes.  They all started dialing their phones, hoping to annoy Erica into picking up. Finally she answered Chrissy and instructed them to wait.  Terry grabbed Chrissy’s phone angrily.
            “Listen, bitch,” he growled.  “If you’re not here in one fucking second we’re gonna take your fucking car so either get here or don’t, but we’re leaving.”
            He tossed the phone back to Christina and she bit her lip nervously as she listened to Erica bitch.  She passed the phone to Steven and he started driving.
            “We’re gonna go pick her up,” explained Chrissy.
            Half an hour later they were finally on the highway.  Erica was asleep in the passenger seat and Christina dozed on Andrew’s lap in the back.  Karine sat in the middle, next to Terry.  Their legs were touching.  Even though they had the heat turned up high, she still had goosebumps.  He looked out the window and he could see a reflection of her face next to his.  She was so pretty but so complicated too.  There was always a certain sadness behind her eyes, although these days it was more like anger.  What was up with her?  Why was she always so bitchy lately?  She used to be so much fun but now she was different.  Or maybe it was him who’d changed and maybe that was why Karine was so wigged out. 
Terry didn’t even know if he was still upset with her.  It depended, he supposed.  If she was over her damage and willing to be cool with Cerise then he was over it too, but if she was going to keep being bitchy then he didn’t really want to stay friends with her.  It almost made him sick to realize this.  Cerise wasn’t even talking to him.  Why should he jeopardize his friendship with Karine for a girl who didn’t even want to have anything to do with him?  He seriously needed to get the hell over Cherry the Raspberry.  No way was she worth losing Karine over.  Terry closed his eyes and slumped down in his seat.  Maybe he just needed to get laid.  Next time his hockey team had a party he’d find a cute chick to hook up with.  Then everything could get back to normal.

Her life would always be like this, wouldn’t it?  Everything sucked and everyone sucked.  Cerise had thought that coming to a new school would let her make new friends and start a new life but maybe a new life wasn’t even worth it.  Jay was completely clueless and would never like her as a girlfriend.  Hell, even as a friend he wasn’t that great.  Terry was totally cute but he’d turned out to be just as much of a jerk as the jock stereotype assumed.  And Karine was a mega bitch who seemed determined to ruin her life.  And there was clearly no getting away from Shauna.  She was a completely psychotic freak and Cerise would never escape her.  She could move to Mars but it would still be the same.  There would be Shauna, in some half-assed space suit, with old pictures of them posted up in her dune buggy.  And there would be a bunch of useless guys who would never wanna be her boyfriend, and if they did, they’d be assholes.  Life really was just a series of sucky events designed to remind a person to remain hopeless and pathetic and lonely forever. 
Then again… Sarah was pretty cool.  She was like a real friend.  Imagine that, having a real live friend.  And the guys were pretty fun to hang out with too.  Willy was a bit gross, but at least he bought her candy.  And Vani and Karl were hilarious even though they were kind of nuts.  And maybe Jay was totally clueless but he was still cute and funny.  And maybe Terry wasn’t even that bad.  Why did she hate him so much?  Oh yeah, he was perverted and was mean to her friends.  But at least now she had friends.  Cerise’s life actually was looking up after all.  Maybe life was a series of sucky events interspersed with some awesome moments.  And maybe it was the usual suckiness of life that made the less sucky moments seem so awesome.  Perhaps suckiness was necessary for the appreciation of awesomeness.  If everything was awesome all the time, would she even recognize it as awesomeness?
After all you can’t have light without dark.  Or can you?  It’s sort of the other way around, isn’t it?  Darkness is just the absence of light.  So suckiness is just a lack of awesomeness.  Ok, so the metaphor doesn’t add up because really, the default position for life is suck.  And yet, thought Cerise, the fact remained that her life seriously wasn’t that bad, certainly not as bad as it had once been and she really shouldn’t complain.  But still, life sucked.

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