Season 3 – Episode 4 – Act V

            “So I’m going to this party on Saturday that has nothing whatsoever to do with being gay.  Wanna come?”

            Shauna looked at Leanne wryly. 

            “Come on, I swear it’s just a party.  A guy I know invited me.  A guy.  Not a lesbian.  It’s downtown.  A Halloween party.  People wear costumes.  Nothing gay happens.”

            Shauna refused the invitation without even thinking about it but Leanne persisted and finally Shauna agreed to go.  She didn’t even know if she liked parties.  She’d never been to one where she’d had a good time but maybe things would be different now.  Probably not but there would at least be free beer there probably.

    Cerise decided to go as a devil and she asked Terry to be an angel so he agreed.  He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to read any symbolism into the costumes but whatever, he dressed like a roman gladiator type dude except with little feather wings on his back.  It was a pretty cool costume.  And Cerise looked totally hot.  She wore a shiny red suit that was way tight but not like totally slutty tight.  In fact, if it had been in a different colour and not shiny she’d look like a business woman.  But as is, with the inclusion of a tail and horns, she looked pretty sinful.  It was awesome. 

    They arrived to the party with Nick, who was dressed like a ‘20s gangster and Karine, who was a cheerleader from the ‘50s, like with a sweater with a big letter on it, instead of a sexy modern cheerleader.  Her new boyfriend, Brady Bunch was along for the ride and his costume consisted of a Rastafarian hat.  Apparently he was really going method with it too, ‘cause he already reeked of pot.

    They joined Sarah, who was already there with her boyfriend, though Terry couldn’t for the life of him remember his name.  Whatever, he’d just call him the huntsman, ‘cause he had an axe.  Sarah was Little Red Riding Hood. 

    A giant elephant lumbered over to them, no doubt containing Vani, Karl, Willy and Jay and his stupid hair.  It was actually pretty genius of them to stay covered up for the evening.  They’d probably get more action that way. 

    A mime came along and greeted Cerise, telling her she looked way cool.  A second later Terry realized it was that Tom guy from her band.  Cassie was with him and she was dressed as a sexy cat, but it wasn’t that sexy.

    “Hey, I see you took my devil suggestion,” said Jeff, strolling over in a kilt and Braveheart makeup.

    So then maybe Cerise’s costume wasn’t symbolic.  Maybe she was just dressing sexy for some other guy.  Terry swallowed his jealousy, knowing he was being irrational.  Cerise wasn’t into this loser.  Was she?

    Terry surveyed the place. It was a small apartment but big enough that he figured Jeff had a roommate.  Surely he couldn’t afford all this on his own.  The music was loud and the place was packed and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  Terry couldn’t help but feel another twang of jealousy, this time for the coolness of having one’s own place.

    A Nazi walked by and Cassie made a noise of disgust, saying she couldn’t believe she’d ever gone out with him.  It took Terry a second to realize the Nazi was Lee.  He’d forgotten all about Lee, even though they’d worked together at the bakery just a couple months ago.  Wow, time really flew when you were having a shit life.

    “Whatever happened to him?” asked the elephant.

    “He’s a year ahead of us.  At McGill now I think,” the elephant replied.

    “I didn’t even know he was older.”

    “Hey Lee!”  The elephant traipsed off awkwardly, following the Nazi as best it could.

    They stepped into the room only to jump back when an elephant accosted a Nazi.  They got in a tussle and ended up on the ground, with legs flailing all over the place.  Shauna giggled as she and Leanne stepped around them.

    “See, everyone’s in costume.  You stick out like a sore thumb,” said Leanne.

    Shauna had elected not to wear a costume because she hadn’t wanted to be made fun of but she realized now that Leanne was right and she was the one who was out of place.  Although she supposed people might figure her costume was ‘90s emo kid or something.

    “Hey, there’s my friend,” said Leanne, tugging on Shauna’s wrist and then pausing a second later.  “Oh my.  I didn’t know she’d be here.”

    Cerise was rather appropriately dressed as a devil and she looked very, very good.  Her boyfriend was an angel.  A guy in a suit approached them.

    “Hey Leanne!  You supposed to be an ancient Greek?”

    Leanne nodded.  “I’m Saphos.  She was…”

    “I know who Saphos is.  Real subtle, Leanne,” the guy rolled his eyes.  He looked familiar.  Shauna must have seen him hanging out with Cerise and her boyfriend before.

    “Like you should talk.  God, any excuse to wear that fucking fedora.”

    “I look good in this hat!” he insisted with a laugh.  “So who’s your friend?” he smiled.

    “This is Shauna.  She’s not gay.”

    The guy laughed as Shauna tried to sink into the ground and die.

    “This is Nick.” 

    Shauna nodded and avoided eye contact.

    “You know, you look kinda familiar,” he mused and she shrugged.

    “So who’s throwing this shin-dig?” asked Leanne as they walked towards a table laden with Halloween themed food, like eyeballs in punch and finger cookies that looked like actual fingers. 

    They all helped themselves to some punch as Nick explained that it was being thrown by some guy Jeff who was in a band with Terry’s girlfriend. 

    “Ok, so point out this Terry guy you’re so enamoured with.”

    “Shut up.  It’s the guy dressed as like an archangel.”

    “Well, well.  Dancing with Cerise.”

    “Yeah, that’s Terry’s girlfriend.”

    “Oh wow, small world,” Leanne laughed.

    “You know her?”

    “No, but Shauna does.”

    Nick looked at Shauna and realization dawned on his face.  “Oh right.  That’s where I know you from.”

    Shauna guzzled her punch and imagined a meteor hitting the Earth at this exact moment.  That would be awesome.  Nick muttered something and took off as Leanne smiled and ate a finger.

    “Cerise, your stalker is here!”

    Both Cerise and Terry turned to Nick as he nodded his head off to the side.  They looked in that direction and saw Shauna hanging out with a girl in a toga. 

    “You think she followed you?” asked Terry in concern.

    “I highly doubt it,” said Cerise, though she wasn’t actually so sure.

    “I think it’s my fault,” said Nick. “She came with a friend of mine, who I like, invited.  I didn’t know she’d bring anyone.”

    “The girl in the bed sheet?  How do they know each other?” asked Terry.

    “I dunno,” shrugged Nick.

    “Whatever, it’s fine,” insisted Cerise.  “It’s a big party, we can easily avoid her.”

    “So you’re not pissed at me?” asked Nick.

    Terry shrugged.  “I’ll beat you up later.”

    Nick laughed and said he’d schedule an appointment in his agenda.

    “Look at her!” screeched Cassie, dragging Cerise away from the boys.

    “Who?” asked Cerise.

    “Karine, duh,” replied Sarah. 

    Karine was sitting on a couch with Brady.  There were cobwebs hanging over them and they were playing with the little plastic spiders hung throughout.  They were also drinking and laughing and making out.  Cerise asked what was wrong with that.

    “Ugh!  Everything she does just pisses me off!” insisted Cassie.

    “I know, she’s so smug,” agreed Sarah.  “Always has been.  I can’t believe I wanted to be her friend so bad in high school.  She was always such a mean girl.”

    Cerise couldn’t help but chuckle.  “Um, pot calling kettle black much?”

    Sarah and Cassie glared at Cerise.

    “You guys are being super catty!”

    “But she deserves it!” whined Cassie.  “I mean she basically stole our boyfriend away from us.  Like the same guy from all three of us.  And like, why?  Just so she could reject him and make him feel like shit and rub it in all of our noses?”

    “Yeah, I guess,” Cerise sighed.

    “We should do something,” said Sarah.

    “Like what?” asked Cassie with way too much interest.

    “I dunno,” admitted Sarah.  “But we’ve gotta think of something.”

    Cerise nodded though she wasn’t sure she agreed.  What exactly did Sarah have in mind?  Usually Sarah was so nice.  Why was she being so vengeful all of a sudden?  Had she really cared about Jay that much or was it more the principle of the thing?  Cerise wondered if that was the case with her.  Did she still have feelings for Jay or was it more that Karine had screwed up her chances?  Not that she’d had a chance anyway.  Or had she?  Would she have wound up with Jay if they’d gone to grad together?  Probably not but she’d always wonder, wouldn’t she?  She chastised herself for still caring, even after all this time, even though she was with Terry, who was infinitely superior to Jay in every way. 

    “We should do recon,” suggested Cassie but before they could respond Jeff appeared and asked them if they were having a good time.

    “Sure,” Cerise smiled.  “Good costume.”

    “It was the easiest thing to do.  ‘Cause I’m Scottish so I have a kilt anyway.”

    “Cool,” she nodded politely.

    “You look way hot,” he leered.

    Cerise wasn’t sure how to respond so she didn’t.  She simply walked off with  Cassie and Sarah, leaving Jeff to his own devices. 

    “Do you think you could be anymore obvious in your attempts to go after Cerise?” asked Tom.

    Jeff shrugged.  “I’m not trying to hide it.  I’ve told her point blank I’m after her.”

    “And what does she say?” Tom grimaced.

    “She says she’s with what’s-his-face, but I’m wearing her down.”

    “And you don’t think you’re being an asshole by going after my ex?”

    “Yeah, sure I’m being an asshole,” Jeff shrugged.  “What you gonna do about it?”

    Tom narrowed his eyes.  “Mime!”  He began to mine at Jeff, aggressively doing that stuck in a box thing.  It was pretty hilarious.

    Jay wasn’t sure why he hated these guys so much.  They were alright.  Not that he really hated them; he just wasn’t sure why he had to waste valuable brain power trying to remember their names.

    “Get back in here!” yelled Vani, grabbing Jay and trying to drag him back inside the elephant. 

    Jay did some kung-fu moves to get away and insisted he wouldn’t get back inside that stinky, sweaty hell hole until he was good and ready.  He drop-kicked Vani into the elephant, or kind of half-assedly pushed him and then ran off to the kitchen. 

    The kitchen was really more of a closet with a fridge and stove in it.  Except it was so small you couldn’t open both appliances at the same time.  And there was no dishwasher, just a tiny sink that was already overflowing with empties.  At first Jay had been envious of Jeff, all living in a cool apartment and stuff, but this totally sucked.  Having to wash dishes by hand was totally medieval. 

    But at this moment he was glad for the tight quarters because Karine was in the kitchen, leaning into the fridge.  She extracted a beer bottle and hit it against the counter to open it. 

    “Nicely done,” Jay smiled, leaning against the counter with the stove.  Their faces were maybe like a decimetre apart.

    “Hey, having a good time?” she smiled.

    “Yeah, you.”

    “Yep.”

    “Where’s Brady Bunch?”

    “Bathroom.”

    Jay nodded.  Well, that had pretty much exhausted his small talk abilities.  This was so weird.  He never had any problems talking to Karine at their windowsill in Hochelaga.  Why was he so nervous now?  “So things are going good with him?” he asked lamely.

    She smirked.  “Why?  Jealous?”

    “No,” he shrugged.  “Yeah,” he admitted.

    Karine laughed and then leaned forward.  He froze, wondering if this was really happening.  It was like time was in slow-mo as she did the most awesome thing ever.  Her face got closer and closer to his until finally her lips were right up against his.  She pressed down on them softly and then leaned back, grinning.  He had no words.  She laughed again and sauntered off, taking another swig of beer.  Well shit!

    Fingers dug into Cerise’s right arm while her left hand was tugged violently.

    “Did you see that?” hissed Cassie.

    “How could we not?” Sarah whispered angrily.

    They all scooted to the side as Karine walked by them, seemingly oblivious to their presence.  She was so wrapped up in her own world she didn’t even care that they’d all just seen her totally kiss Jay! 

    “I’m gonna fucking kill her!” Cassie growled.

    “Totally,” agreed Sarah angrily.

    Cerise didn’t feel angry.  She just felt hurt.  It surprised her how much.  She still liked Jay and she still hated that he was into Karine.  And Karine didn’t give a fuck!  She’d probably just kissed him to prove a point, just like Cassie and Sarah had said.  She just wanted to prove how she owned him and they didn’t.  And Cerise never would.  He’d never care about her.  No one ever would ‘cause she was such a fucking loser.  She felt tears swelling in her eyes and shuffled off in embarrassment. 

    She opened and door and stepped inside, finding a small bedroom.  She sat on the bed and let the tears flow, not even completely sure why she was crying.

Season 3 – Episode 4 – Act IV

It was a rainy autumn day and it had that rain smell, like maybe it was dead worms or something.  Shauna was busy smoking a cigarette when Leanne joined her with a big smile.  She didn’t light up or anything, she just stood there.  Shauna narrowed her eyes.

“I’m not saying anything,” Leanne smiled.

Shauna sighed and kept smoking.  After a while the silence was too much for Shauna to bear, even though she usually liked quiet.  “I’m not… gay,” she insisted.

“Ok,” Leanne smiled.

Shauna sighed again and noticed Cerise’s boyfriend and his big friend coming towards them.  She quickly finished off her cigarette and scooted inside.

“You got a cigarette?” asked Terry.

“Yeah,” replied Nick, taking out a pack and handing a cig to his friend.

“Thought you were quitting,” said Terry as he lit up.

“Am.  It’s for just in case.”

They leaned up against opposite sides of the walls around the little smoker’s alcove outside Casgrain.  It was always so dirty here, but this little spot had a roof and it was drizzling and Nick hated the rain.  He said it fucked with his hair.  Terry didn’t mind it.  This was his favourite time of year.  The air was crisp and smelled good and it was so cute the way Cerise loved crunching leaves under her little baby feet.

“So how’s Britt?” asked Nick as he puffed on his own cigarette.

“Ok I guess,” Terry shrugged.  “Her teacher had this idea about her going to a child psychologist or some shit and Vicky’s all over that.  But she can’t afford it.  But my dad can and now Vicky’s all reconsidering the joint custody thing.  I mean she could make him pay for it anyway she’s being nice I guess.  Sometimes I think she wants to get back with him.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Anything involving my father is a bad idea.”

“That would make your sheer existence a bad idea.”

Terry shrugged, not wanting to get into an existential conversation.

“So have you made up with Cerise yet?”

He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Dunno.”

“You gonna?”

“Well how come it’s always gotta be me making the first move?  How come she can’t come to me?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Nick nodded.

Cassie and Sarah dragged Cerise into the washroom, which was sort of annoying.  Couldn’t they have this conversation in the hallway, where it didn’t smell like bleach?  Oh well, at least it didn’t smell like urine.

“So,” Sarah began.  “Are you like aware that I only broke up with Jay ‘cause Karine told me to?  ‘Cause like, she said you were into him.”

Cerise was taken aback and unsure of how to respond.  “I was with Terry at the time.  Why would I care about Jay?”  Cerise couldn’t entirely remember how she’d felt when Sarah and Jay were together but now that it was being brought up again she found herself very against the idea of them hooking up again.  Maybe that’s just because she was going through a rough patch with Terry. 

“And you were gonna go to grad with Jay, right?”  Cassie confirmed.

“Well, yeah I guess.”

“And Karine ruined it.”

“Yeah, I guess she did,” Cerise admitted.

“She’s just a big destroyer of relationships!” spat Cassie.  “Jay and I were fine until she stuck her nose in our business!”

“Well, she has this weird hold over Jay,” said Cerise.  “He’s like in love with her.  And she just keeps stringing him along.  Always flirting with him but never actually going out with him.  It’s pretty shitty when you think about it.”

“It’s not just shitty, it’s totally evil!” exclaimed Cassie.

“Yeah, it is pretty messed,” nodded Sarah. 

“She’s such a fucking bitch!” growled Cassie.

“I can’t believe we’re friends with her,” said Sarah.

Cerise nodded, conceding the point.  Why were they friends with Karine?  She wasn’t exactly the nicest person on the planet.  The only reason Karine even deigned to hang out with Cerise is because Terry insisted.  She was sure if Terry wasn’t in the picture Karine would still be hating Cerise as much as she did in high school.  She seriously was a total bitch.

That night Cerise walked over to Jay’s garage and watched the boys working on the elephant.  It was pretty much complete and all they were doing was sitting around drinking beer.

“Hey Cerise, you gonna be in the elephant this year?” asked Vani.

“Am I invited?” she replied.

“The more the merrier I suppose,” shrugged Karl.

“So how come I wasn’t invited last year?”

“Were you expecting an engraved invitation delivered by doves or some shit?” snarked Karl. 

“Besides, you were funking over Terry Trebifunksky last year,” said Jay.

“I guess I’m funking over him this year too,” she mumbled under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she replied, turning around and going back home.

She sat on her bed and was about to text him but then decided a phone call would be better.  He answered immediately.

“So… I don’t really remember what we were fighting about but can we be ok again?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied.  “But for the record we were fighting ‘cause you said I’m not fun anymore.”

“Well to be fair, you’re not.  But I still love you.”

“I love you too.  And I’m still fun.”

“Prove it.”

About a half hour later he was in her bedroom and they were making love.  Cerise supposed everything was back to normal but she wasn’t really sure.  They watched T.V. afterwards and snuggled on the couch but they didn’t really talk.  Not the way they usually did.  It was weird.

It was a relief to have sex again.  Terry hadn’t even realized how much he’d needed that.  It was only when he’d gotten home again that he reflected on the rest of the evening and how thing still felt a little strained with Cerise.  Oh well, time heals all wounds and all that shit.  The next day at the Munch Box things seemed normal enough.  Except Karine brought her new boyfriend to their table and there wasn’t enough room for everyone so she sat on his lap, which was obviously causing much distress to Jay and his stupid ‘fro.  Man, that kid had no ability to hide his emotions, did he?  What a knob.

“Sornin’ Marah,” said Vani as Sarah came along.

“I guess I’m supposed to say Vornin’ Mani?”

“Correct,” he smiled.

Nick stood up and offered Sarah his seat, which was quite gallant of him.  Terry wouldn’t have thought of doing that even if he’d had a seat all to himself (he had Cerise on his lap).  Sarah smiled and took the seat and Nick crouched down at the end of the table, acting like there was a chair beneath him.  Terry was curious to see how long he’d be able to hold the squat before giving up. 

“Ugh! He flaunts his physical prowess!” exclaimed Vani.

“Jealous?” smirked Nick.

“Deeply,” nodded Vani, causing them all to laugh.

“So that guy Jeff from Parrisses Squares is throwing a Halloween party this Saturday,” announced Cerise.

“Jeff?  Which one is he?  Do I like him?” asked Terry.

“No, you worry that I’m too flirty with him.”

“Right.  I hate that guy.”

“So you’re coming?”

“Of course,” he nodded.

“Are we allowed to invite other people?” asked Nick.

“I guess,” nodded Cerise.  “I don’t know how big his place is… he lives downtown.”

“That’s cool,” said Karine.

“Yeah, he goes to Concordia.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty I think,” replied Cerise.

“Bonneville’s having a party on Friday,” said Nick, consulting his phone to be sure.  “But I dunno, did you wanna go to that?” he asked Terry.

“Ehh,” Terry shrugged.  “Bonneville’s kind of a douche.”

“I know.”

“His parties are pretty good, but I’ve already…” he stopped himself, remembering that Cerise was there.  He was going to say that he’d already fucked every girl in that particular circle which was mostly true.  Bonneville still hung out with the same crowd as ever.  “Whatever, we can think about that one.”

“Yeah,” Nick nodded.

“Already what?” asked Cerise.

Terry hesitated and Nick saved him, asking again if he could invite others.  Cerise said the more the merrier.

You invited how many people?

Like a zillion.  And they’re all gonna

show up and we’re gonna totally trash

your place

                        U know I hate you right?

            Cerise smirked at her phone.  She wasn’t sure how flirty she should be.  If Terry were to read these texts to Jeff he’d probably be annoyed.  Not that she was doing anything wrong.  She typed out various responses, always backspacing each one until finally settling on ya right, which was totally lame.

U still wit that boyfriend of urs?

                        Yep, and he’s coming to the party too. 

And he’s bringing all his hockey friends

and their friends and so on

Aweome.  So what’s ur costume?

                                    I was thinking angel

More believable to go devil

                                    Maybe I will

Ok, now do some sexting so I can masturbate

                                    You just made me puke all over myself

Kinky.  Not really my thing but if you insist

            She put down the phone then, deciding the conversation had gone too far.  Should she put a password on her phone so Terry couldn’t read her texts?  Not that he’d ever gone through her phone before.  Should she delete the conversation?  Was it even that bad?  Should she be going to his party?  They were still in a band together, so they had to be friends, right?  His idea for her to go as a devil was actually pretty good.  She could be the devil and Terry could be an angel, like Castiel from Supernatural, which would just entail a trench coat.  Or better yet he could be an archangel with a sword and a cape.  That could be cool.  He’d look way hot like that. 

Cerise was glad to find herself fantasising about her hot boyfriend in a hot costume, relieved to know she was still into him and this Jeff flirtation was no doubt meaningless. 

Season 3 – Episode 4 – Act III

            Terry couldn’t believe he’d ever considered quitting hockey.  It was the one place in his life where he was encouraged to beat the living shit out of everything around him.  All he wanted to do was fucking kill someone, even if that someone took the form of a hockey puck.  During practice he took pretty much every opportunity to hit the puck into the net, even if it was more strategic to pass, which earned him an earful from his coach but he didn’t care about that.  He also took every opportunity to slam his teammates into the boards, getting another lecture from the coach.  Finally he was sent to the locker room to cool down while the others kept practicing.

            He took a long, hot shower, simply standing under the spray, letting the jets pound down onto his sore shoulders.  He didn’t think he’d been there that long but all the other guys arrived and started giving him a hard time.

            “What the fuck crawled up your ass, Trebichavsky?”

            “Prob’ly not getting’ laid.”

            “You know the saying, those who can’t skate, slam.”

            “That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard.  No one says that.”

            “He makes a good point though.  Trebichavsky hasn’t been on his game all year.  He’s fucking useless, he should be benched.”

            “Seriously, what the fuck is up with pushing around your own teammates?”

            “Aww, did it hurt?  You’re such a fucking pussy.  You gonna go cry home to mamma ‘cause you got slammed?  Suck it up, loser.”

            “Fuck you, Morgan, you’re such a fag.”

            “Says the guy staring at my dick.  Jealous ‘cause you can’t find a bitch to suck on that fucking pencil eraser?”

            “Sounds like you’re the one who stares at other guys’ dicks!”

            “You’re both fucking fags, why don’t you make out and get it over with?”

            “Sick man, I’m totally putting that shit on YouTube.”

            Terry had heard enough.  He walked out of the showers without looking at anyone, not even at Nick, who had defended him, and got changed as quickly as he could.  Fuck all those assholes anyway.

            Shauna had her nose buried in a book and she was actually trying to read it.  Most of her classes were terrible but she was trying to pay attention in psychology because maybe she was nuts and maybe this book could help diagnose her.

            She kept her head down when Leanne joined her.  After a moment she finally looked up, knowing Leanne was staring at her.

            “Promise not to yell at me or call me gross or whatever?” asked Leanne.

            “No,” said Shauna, though she couldn’t prevent a small smile from developing on her lips.

            “Ok, so there’s this group.  The Queer Collective.  You could just come and check it out.  You wouldn’t have to join.  You could just sit in at a meeting.  See what’s it’s all about.”

            Shauna glared at her friend.  Leanne stared back.

            “I just wanna help, Shauna.”

            “I don’t need your help.”

            “But Shauna, you could prove me wrong.  If you came to a meeting you could have a better idea of whether or not I’m right.  If you could hear the people talk… maybe you’d see something familiar.  And maybe you wouldn’t.  And then fine, I’d leave you alone.  But it’s like, what have you got to lose?”

            Shauna frowned.

            “Are you like worried that people would see you there?  That people would see you walk into the room?”

            Among other things, yes, thought Shauna.

            “I hate to break it to you Shauna, but you’re not that important.  No one gives a shit if you go to a meeting.  No one’s gonna notice you walk in because no one at the school even knows you exist.”

            It was a valid point.

            “So just think about it.”

            Shauna supposed she would.

            “Check it out,” grinned Nick, standing in front of Terry’s desk and pulling up his shirt.

            Terry saw a huge bruise on his ribs.  The few others who were early to class also turned to look, including a couple cute chicks.

            “Not bad, eh?”

            “That my handiwork?” asked Terry with an arched eyebrow.  He felt bad about how brutal he’d been yesterday during practice but he acted like it was no big deal.

            “Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.  I bet if I hook up with a chick this week I can be like, ow, I’m in pain, you’ll have to do all the work.”

            Terry chuckled.  He looked around and picked the cutest chick.  “How ‘bout it, wanna hook up with this guy?  You’d have to do all the work though.”

            The girl giggled and blushed and looked down at her keyboard.  Nick laughed and took his seat, mock groaning in pain.

            “You’re such a fucking loser,” smiled Terry.

            Nick chuckled and nodded in agreement.

            The Marias and the Captain Von Trapps were on stage, learning their blocking.  Cerise sat in the theatre with Cassie, Tom and Janice lamenting the fact that they never got any rehearsal time. 

            “It’s always about the principle players,” said Cassie.  “So unfair.”

            It didn’t actually seem unfair to Cerise to give the principle players more rehearsal time since they would have to essentially carry the show but shouldn’t the Von Trapp kids be considered principles?  She said as much and the others agreed. 

            “And people wonder why our plays suck,” scoffed Janice.

            “Our plays don’t suck,” rebutted Tom.

            “Well they’re not fucking awesome,” Janice insisted.  “Fuck, I like never get any rehearsal time, it’s totally retarded.”

            As in on cue, Fred called for the Baroness and Janice hurriedly ran on stage. 

            “How come it’s always Karine who gets the lead?” asked Cassie rather bitterly.

            “I know, right?” said Cerise sympathetically.

            “Well she is good,” shrugged Tom.

            “Yeah, but the rest of us are good too,” whined Cassie.

            “It’s ‘cause she’s tall and pretty.  She’s statuesque and she has presence,” explained Cerise.

“It’s because she’s a fucking suck-up!  Always hanging out with Hugh and Fred and acting like they know what they’re talking about.”

“They’re not so bad,” said Tom in surprise.

“Whatever, Karine’s just so fucking manipulative,” said Cassie angrily.

“Well, I can’t argue there,” nodded Cerise.  “She does tend to get what she wants.”

“She’s a total bitch!”

“Bitch is a little harsh,” countered Cerise.

“She’s a fucking asshole!  She totally broke up me and Jay!”

Tom and Cerise stared at Cassie. “What do you mean?”

“She told me he was gonna break up with me, which I’m pretty sure is a lie.  So I broke up with him first.”

“Why the fuck would she do that?” asked Tom.

Cerise pondered.  “You know, back in high school I was supposed to go to grad with Jay but then Karine asked him to go with her.”

“So you were into Jay?”

“I guess I had a bit of a crush on him in high school.  It was really more of a friend thing, but still.  He totally ditched me at the last minute to go with Karine.”

“What a dick thing to do,” said Tom.  “Jay’s a moron.”

“Yeah, it was a dick thing to go, but Karine was even worse.  ‘Cause she gets him to take her and then she ditches him there.  He felt like shit.  It’s almost like she did it all just to laugh at him.  Or maybe just to fuck me over.  She pretty much hated me in high school.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, all Terry’s friends did.  He eventually ditched them all except for Karine.”

“Wow, Terry’s the best boyfriend ever.”  Cassie seemed stunned.

“Yeah, he’s fucking awesome,” Tom muttered sarcastically.

It was true, he was pretty awesome.  Cerise felt bad for fighting with him the other day.  They still hadn’t made up.  She should really text him and say she was sorry.  She knew he was stressed; she shouldn’t be giving him such a hard time.

“So speaking of awesomeness,” said Tom.  “What are you guys’ plans for Halloween?”

“The guys always do this thing with an elephant costume.”

“What about the Saturday before?”

“I’m free I guess.  Karine hasn’t said anything about a party.”

“Like I’d go to one of her parties anyway,” grumbled Cassie.

“Yeah well, Jeff is having a party.  I’m supposed to invite you.  You too, Cassie.”

“Cool,” Cassie and Cerise said in unison.

“Costumes mandatory, apparently.”

“Oh fun!” said Cassie with excitement.

Yeah, it would be fun to go to a Halloween party.  Cerise loved Halloween.  She’s have to make up with Terry pretty quick so they could plan their costumes together.

After class Terry went out for a cigarette even though lighting up made him feel extremely guilty.  Not just because Cerise hated it but because he was being a terrible role model for Britt.  Nick joined him and took a few puffs on his smoke, asking him if he wanted to talk about it.

“About what, me smoking again?”

“About the bug that crawled up your ass, made a nest, laid some eggs and threw a party.  I mean you were way out of control yesterday.  I thought coach was gonna have an aneurysm.  Actually it was pretty funny.”

Terry smiled and considered changing the subject but he figured Nick wouldn’t tell him he was being a pussy if he said it was girl trouble.  “It’s Cerise.  We kinda had a fight.”

“What about?”

“The whole Britt thing.  She’s all like, oh you’re stressed out, you’re no fun anymore… like it’s all about fun.  What the fuck?”

“So she thinks you’re stressed, eh?  I can’t imagine how she could come to that conclusion.”

“You’re hilarious,” said Terry dryly.

“Sounds like she’s concerned.”

“She’s concerned about herself.”

“You think that’s all it is?”

“She’s all on me about the smoking.”

“Which she should be.”

“She’s just bored and she’s blaming it on me.  And you just know…”

“You know what?” Nick prompted.

“You just know she’s gonna run to that fucking Jason Harris and his fucking spastic hair that’s always fucking…”  Terry shook his hands, miming strangulation.

Nick chuckled slightly but he could tell Terry wasn’t joking around.

“She just won’t fucking get over that fucking little shit.  And now she’s all pissed at me so it’s the perfect fucking excuse to go running to him.  She always fucking goes running to him.”

“Does she?  I don’t see her running to him.  I see her running to you.  Every time something happens with you she tries to talk to you about it.”

“Yeah, so she can yell at me and say how I’m stressed out and I should move back home and how I’m not fun and how Jason fucking Harris is her bestest friend in the whole wide world.”

Nick regarded Terry for a moment.  “Sounds like you’re worried you’re losing her.”

“Well fuck!”

“Yeah but maybe, Terry… Maybe you’re driving her away.”

Season 3 – Episode 4 – Act II

            Terry expected to pick up Brittany as soon as he got to her daycare but one of the workers there wanted to speak to him first.  Britt sat in the “alone corner” in the oppressively colourful room while Terry got an earful.

            “She hit another girl with a cabbage patch doll.  Their heads are quite heavy.  The dolls I mean.  The blow gave the girl a bruise.”

            Terry wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond.  Should he apologize on Britt’s behalf?  “Do you know why she did it?”

            “From what I gather they were playing house.  And the other girl didn’t want to be the dog.”

            “Brittany wanted her to be the dog?” Terry suppressed a smile.

            “That’s right.  Does she ever act out at home?”

“She’s three.  She acts out all the time,” Terry said, trying to cover his irritation. 

The teacher looked concerned and said that it was fairly common to see a certain degree of violent behaviour in children, especially boys but Brittany seemed unusually high-strung.  Especially for a girl.  Terry nodded and she went on to ask about Britt’s home life.  “Her parents recently got divorced, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, so she’s upset.  Acting out to get attention, right?  So what are we supposed to do about it?”  Again he tried to maintain his calm.

“She needs a stable structure.  A solid routine.  Firm discipline.  And she needs to know both of her parents will continue to be there for her.  That they both love her.”

“Well…” he wondered if he should mention that his dad had never been there for Britt, even before the divorce.  “We’re doing the best we can.  I mean I’m still there, that’s something.  I took care of her before the divorce and I moved in with her mom so I could keep taking care of her.”  This teacher lady didn’t need to know the real reason he’d moved in with Vicky.  “So that’s something, right?”

“Absolutely.  But maybe Brittany could benefit from some counselling.  I could refer you to a child psychologist.”

“She’s not nuts!  She’s three-years-old!”

“Yes but…”

“Listen, I appreciate the advice, but I’ve gotta get Britt home.”

“If you could have her mother call me…”

Terry nodded and fetched Brittany, pulling her up into his arms as she squealed in delight.  He knew he should be glad that this daycare worker cared so much.  He’d heard plenty of stories about daycares where they seriously didn’t give a shit.  But still, was all of this really her business?  And was Britt really so far gone that she needed professional help?  He’d thought he was doing a good job with her.  It was hard to admit that might not be enough.

“Wait, ok, start from the beginning,” said Cassie, interrupting Sarah as she rambled about the Karine/Jay situation.

They convened in the washroom in Hochelaga, which was always crowded but no one ever cared about what they were talking about and Karine was very unlikely to appear.

“Right, ok, so one time at the bakery after Jay drove you home, I can’t remember how it came up but he was saying he was gonna stay with you even though sometimes you were annoying.”

“Like he’s not?” fumed Cassie.

“I know, right?” Sarah rolled her eyes.  “So like Karine was totally there for that.  She totally knew he wanted to stay with you.  But then like the very next day she shows up at the yacht club, which is like, totally not like her.”

“Yeah, and she acts all like sympathetic to me and I’m like, what the fuck?  And she’s like, oh I thought Jay already broke up with you, ‘cause he’s planning on it so of course I broke up with him first.”

“Of course, duh.  But he wasn’t actually gonna.  I bet you anything Karine made it all up.”

“But why?” asked Cassie.

“Well, later that day she was all consoling him.  I mean we all were, or I mean, some of us were.  The guys were obviously making fun of him.  But Karine was being super nice.  And like, got a lift home from him and stuff.”

“So you think Karine wanted Jay for herself?”

“It’s weird, right?” Sarah admitted.  “I mean they went to grad together but she ignored him the whole night and hooked up with someone else.  I mean almost like she was trying to mean-girl him.  And like, when I was going out with Jay it was Karine who told me to break up with him.  She said it’s ‘cause Cerise was upset ‘cause she had a crush on him or something but Cerise was like the most supportive person when it came to me and Jay.  So maybe it’s just a case of Karine not really wanting him but she wants him to want her.”

“That’s like, so petty.”

“I know, but it’s totally her M.O.  I mean in high school her and her friends were like notorious for that shit.  One time they even made a blog about this girl, Marla and it was all lies.  It was so mean.  She’s just a bitch.”

“What a fucking ho!” fumed Cassie.

“I know.”

“It’s so fucking petty.  ‘Cause like, Karine isn’t even trying to get with Jay.  She’s dating Brady now!  Like that’s not enough for her?  Maybe she’s seeing Jay on the side, like in secret but she’s too embarrassed to admit it ‘cause like she thinks she’s above him or something.”

“God, totally.  What a fucking snob.”

“I know,” Cassie growled.  “What a fucking bitch-ass-whore.”

“If you can’t admit it to yourself, at least admit it to me.”

Shauna blew smoke into Leanne’s face.  “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Shauna, you texted me five minutes ago.  Obviously you don’t wanna be alone.”

“I mean leave this…” Shauna lowered her voice to a whisper.  “This lesbian shit.  I’m not like that.  I’m not like you.”

“Would it be so horrible to be like me?”

Shauna didn’t know what to say.  She knew gayism was supposed to be ok now.  It was cool even.  And her parents watched Modern Family.  But they also said the two gay guys on it were disgusting.  If she became gay her parents would hate her even more.  They’d beat her up or give her a lobotomy or something.  Not that she had anything to worry about because she wasn’t like that.  At all.  “You can be like that but, I mean, just ‘cause I like Cerise as a friend doesn’t mean I like her like that.”

“What do you think about when you masturbate?”

Shauna felt her cheeks turning red.  “I don’t…”

“Come on, Shauna, everyone does it.”

Shauna thought about her leg scratching and how good it felt.  But that didn’t count as masturbation because she wasn’t touching her private parts.  And even when she did touch her privates, if Cerise came into her head, well it was just coincidence because Cerise came into her head all the time for no reason.  It certainly wasn’t because she was into her like that.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” said Leanne with a half smile.

“I don’t!”

“Maybe you should.”

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore,” Shauna said in a whimper, acutely aware that she was about to cry.  She tossed away her cigarette and hefted open the door to Casgrain.  She wasn’t going to cry and Leanne couldn’t make her.

“Well look who’s here,” smirked Karl as they walked into Cunningham’s.

They all turned to see Karine sitting at the bar with Brady Bunch asshole loser dude. 

“Is that why you wanted to come here?” Vani asked Jay.  “To spy on Karine and her new lover?”

“Eww, he’s not her lover.  And I didn’t even know she was gonna be here,” lied Jay.

“You’re like, totally stalking her,” Willy laughed.

“Uh-oh, puh-poh, Jay’s got the stalking bug!”  Vani did a little dance and Karl and Willy joined in, all chanting that Jay had the stalking bug.

“Shut up!” Jay hissed.

“Check it out, they’re totally kissing,” Willy grinned.

Indeed, the douchenozzle had his tongue shoved all the way down Karine’s throat. 

“Someone’s getting’ jiggy tonight and it ain’t Jay,” snickered Vani.

“Did you really think you’d ever be able to get together with her?” asked Karl with genuine curiosity.

“I admire your dedication to the dream, but eventually even dreamers must face reality,” nodded Vani.

“Aren’t stalkers on the list of those we hate?” asked Willy with a smug grin.

“Jay’s got the bug, the stalking bug,” Vani sang.  “Jay’s got the bug.  The stalking bug.”  They all sang and poked him in the ribs as Jay turned and walked outside. 

Cerise knew Britt was bad but apparently her teacher thought she was like crazo intense bad because she recommended she see a child psychologist.  Terry wasn’t too pleased by the idea but Cerise thought it had merit.  She never wanted to go to Terry’s place anymore for fear of Britt hitting her. She was just a kid but it still hurt!  And it was just awkward to be so hated by someone who didn’t even have the decency to hide their wrath.  Poor Terry.  He was so stressed.  He wasn’t even affectionate anymore.  She couldn’t even remember the last time they’d made love.  Ok, it was his birthday, so not that long ago, but they used to do it everyday.  Now it was maybe once a week. 

She joined the guys and Sarah at the Munch Box for lunch and texted Terry, asking where he was.  He’d be there in a second, he replied.

“Where is everybody?” asked Jay.

What everybody?  Everyone was here as far as Cerise could tell, except for Terry.  But Jay wouldn’t care about Terry.  Oh, he must be asking about his one true love.  “Karine is having lunch with Brady,” she explained as Jay nodded sadly.

“Jay’s got the bug,” Willy smirked.

“What bug?”

“The stalking bug!”  Vani, Karl and Willy all chanted.

Cerise giggled and asked for clarification.

“He totally dragged us to Cunningham’s last night so we could witness Karine macking on Greg Brady.”

“You followed her there?” asked Sarah with great interest.

“Jay’s got the bug, the stalking bug!”

“Well you certainly got over Cassie pretty quickly there, eh Jay?” Sarah smirked.

“Jay’s got the bug, the stalking bug!”

“Now Jay’s a stalker?” asked Terry as he sat next to Cerise.  “Who’s he stalking?”

“Karine,” explained Vani.

Terry simply stared at Jay who concentrated on his poutine, as the boys continued to chant.  After eating, Terry said he was going to go outside for a walk.  Cerise got up to join him, which didn’t seem to please him too much.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as they stepped outside.  Cerise loved Fall, it was so pretty and the air smelled crisp and clean and she loved crunching dead leaves under her feat.  But it was cold and she wished she’d been able to go to her locker first for her jacket. 

“I’m just stressed.  I need a cigarette.”

“Terry, no, don’t start smoking again!”

“I need something to calm me down!” he insisted, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.  Cerise couldn’t believe it.  “So you gonna get pissed now?” he asked angrily as he lit up.

She looked at him, unsure of what to say.  “So how’s Britt?”

“Can you just lay off?”

“So like you don’t even wanna talk to me anymore?!”

Terry sighed and went on.  “Vicky thinks the child psychologist thing is maybe a good idea.  We could get my dad to pay for it.  He wants joint custody.  She was all saying how she could grant him that and then he’d pay.  But you could make him pay anyway.  I dunno, she’s all going against everything she originally said.  I think she wants to get back with him.”

“Oh no,” Cerise shook her head.

“I know, it’s retarded.  She’s all like saying how Britt needs a father and I’m like, yeah, ‘cause my dad’s such a good father.  I mean, the way he lied to me my whole life about my real mother, that was some real quality parenting there.”

“You said that to her?”

“Yeah and she was like, good point.”

“But on the other hand,” Cerise began delicately.  “Maybe if your dad was more in the picture it would lessen some of the burden on you.  I mean is Vicky gonna call you every time there’s something up with Britt?”

“Why shouldn’t she?”

“Terry!  We hardly see each other anymore.  Between rehearsals and hockey and Britt it’s like we only see each other at lunch and it sucks.”

“I know it does, but fuck, what am I supposed to do?  I have responsibilities!”

“But that’s my point.  Britt is not your responsibility.  I mean you’re stressed out of your mind, smoking again.”

“I knew you couldn’t let that go,” he sighed, taking one last drag and tossing away the butt of his smoke.

“You’re always in a bad mood lately.  We never have any fun anymore.”

“Not everything in life is a bed of fucking roses, Cerise.  You only wanna be with me if it’s fun?”

“I’m not saying that,” said Cerise.  “I’m saying that you’re freaking me out.  I’m worried about you.”

“No, you’re worried about you.  You’re worried that you’re not having fun anymore.  Well I have an idea.  Why don’t you go play with your good friend, Jay?  Maybe you can have fun with him.”

He walked away in a huff and Cerise didn’t bother to follow.  What a jerk!  And why bring up Jay, what did he have to do with it?  She’d denied it, but really, why should she keep going out with him if it stopped being fun?  She loved him and she wanted to support him, but if he was going to be a total asshole all the time then what was the point?