Season 3 – Episode 5 – Act V

            "Kornin' Marine," said Vani, greeting Karine as she joined the guys in the Munch Box.  "Hey, marine is an actual word."
             Karine returned the greeting and sat down before Cassie and Sarah could get there.  She knew they were coming and she’d busted her ass to get there before them.  When they arrived they glared at her and then stood in line at the counter, whispering together.

            “So how come the chickies hate you?” asked Vani with genuine curiosity.

            “’Cause they’re fucking bitches!” Karine spat back and then deflated.  “I actually don’t know.”

            “Maybe they think you’re Erica Mackey,” suggested Willy.

            “What does that mean?” demanded Karine.  “I’m nothing like Erica!”

            “Certainly not,” smirked Karl.
            Ugh.  What  a bunch of assholes.  Seriously, everyone always accused her and Erica of being mean girls but really, this group of boys was just as bad.  What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. 

Cerise was at her locker, staring at Terry’s things.  Maybe one of them should put in a request for a locker change.  Or maybe she should just carry her things around with her all day.

“Hi.”

She turned around to see Jay smiling at her.  She smiled back and once again they had a staring contest.  She quickly closed the locker, not wanting Terry to catch them.  Not that they were doing anything wrong.  Even if they were going out now, which she wasn’t even sure was the case, it’s not like that was betraying Terry, since he’d totally broken up with her and everything.

They walked towards the Munch Box and Jay hesitantly took her hand.  Oh god.  Did this mean they were officially a couple?  It was going to be so weird when they got to lunch.  Everyone would stare at them. 

How right she was.  They walked up to the table and sat next to each other, releasing each other’s hands, but everyone had seen.  Karl lifted an eyebrow and Willy narrowed his eyes.  Vani exaggeratedly bugged out his eyes while Karine laughed openly.

“Are like, you guys together now?” she asked.

“Buh-zuh-guh-wah?  When did this happen?” Vani exclaimed.

They both shrugged in response. 

“That’s some quality swooping-in, Jay,” Vani giggled.

“Seriously, the body’s not even cold yet,” snickered Karine.

“Yeah,” nodded Willy with a sharp glare.  “Pretty fucking interesting turn of events.”

“Fascinating,” nodded Karl.

Cerise wondered if her entire face was as red as it felt.  She was actually sweating, even though this school was always freezing.  Why was she so nervous?  Why did she care what everyone thought?  Did she?  Or was she just worried about how Terry would react once he found out.  How would he react?  Would he totally freak out?  Should she even care?  He’d said it was over.  Wasn’t being with Jay what she’d always wanted?  Why did she feel like she was doing something wrong?

“Well I say congratulations,” smiled Vani.

“Really?” asked Karl sceptically.

“Well, naturally my first instinct is to try and sabotage any chance Jay may have for happiness but whatcha gonna do eh?  I mean, when you really think about it you guys are the perfect couple.”

“Oh yeah?  How so?” asked Jay suspiciously.

“Well think about it.  Jay’s a big loser and Cerise isn’t.”

“What?” both Jay and Cerise asked.

“Opposites attract!”

Cerise rolled her eyes.  “That makes no sense, Vani.”

“Cerise, if everything in the world made sense then all the people who’ve been abducted by UFOs would be considered crazy.”

They all stared at Vani.

“Ok, next topic,” he declared.  “Me.  Does my hair make me look more like Trip or Reed?”

“Who are Trip and Reed?” asked Karine.

“From Enterprise.”

“The rental car?”

“The show,” explained Karl.  “It’s from like, a decade ago.  It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad show but Vani’s obsessed.  He got the DVDs.”

“Oh my god, they put out DVDs for that train-wreck?” gasped Cerise, glad for the change of topic.

“So, Trip or Reed?” asked Vani, patting his hair.

“They have the exact same haircut,” said Jay.

“Just answer the question, girlfriend-stealing boy!”

“He didn’t steal me!” Cerise protested, perhaps a little loudly.  “I mean I’m not property.”

“Relax,” advised Vani.  “I just really need to know if I should grow Starfleet issue sideburns.”

“Can you even grow sideburns?” snickered Willy.

“I can only assume that question is meant to imply I’m so infantile that I don’t have the ability to grow hair.  But you forget, I’m Indian.  I’m from the hair-belt.  I had a full beard at age eight.  It’s not a matter of growing sideburns so much as shaving away the excess.”

“Are you fucking serious?” scoffed Karl.  “You’re only half-Indian and obviously your hairless half dominates because you’ve never been able to grow proper facial hair.  All you’ve ever been able to manage is that fucking pedo mustache of shame.  Even I have to shave more often than you do and I’m half German, half Scandinavian!”

“More like half android, half cyborg, am I right?” said Willy, wiggling his eyebrows as best he could.

“So Cerise, Jay, are you guys like a thing now?”

They all looked up to see Cassie and Sarah hovering over the table, lunches in hand.  Cerise stood up and tried not to wring her hands like a guilty murderess or something.  “Is that ok?  I mean both of you guys have dated him.”

“Oh please.  I’ve so moved on,” Sarah scoffed.

“I’m way over him,” Cassie confirmed.  “God, I was never even under him.  Like literally, actually.”

“You prefer being on top?” asked Sarah.

“I guess I like being in control,” nodded Cassie.

“Yeah but there’s something to be said for like, letting the guy do all the work,” said Sarah.  “That way you can just lie back and enjoy it.”

“What about from behind?” wondered Cassie.  “’Cause you know, I could never get into that.  Does that make me a priss or something?”

“Well I find it’s def something you have to in the mood for.  It’s so like not intimate.  It’s more if you’re like, just fuck me.”

“Ok well maybe that’s it.  I don’t wanna be just fucked.”

Willy was about to say something but Vani quickly muzzled him with his hands and whispered that they were witnessing a chick sex talk and should be taking notes.  Cassie and Sarah obviously heard him and giggled in response.

“Did you ever try it from behind except lying down ‘cause I find…” Karine began.

“Oh, we know what you find, Karine,” snapped Sarah.

“Yeah, we know all about you,” Cassie hissed.

“Anyway, congratulations you guys,” Sarah nodded her head at Cerise and Jay.  “We’re gonna go eat elsewhere.”

Cerise gathered up her things and said she’d go with them, telling Jay she’d see him later.  At this moment the last person she wanted to be with was her new boyfriend.  Wow, it was so weird to call him that.

“What the fucking fuck?!” exclaimed Karine once the girls had gone.  “I didn’t even do anything!  Why are they being such ultra bitches?!”

Jay was kind of glad that the girls were fighting ‘cause it was a good way to deflect from his new relationship with Cerise.

“If they’re so fucking happy that you’re with Cherry pie now then why would they care that I kissed you at Halloween?”

They all stared at Jay and he tried to speak but nothing came out.  Is that why the girls were fighting?  Was it over him?!  That’d be awesome!

“So it’s obviously something else.  But I seriously don’t get it, you guys!  Seriously, if one of you guys knows something, you’d better say!”

“I don’t know shit-all, but I wish I did, because this is the best drama-rama we’ve had in weeks,” smiled Vani smugly.  “Just when you think things are getting dull, a chick acts irrationally.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Tyrion!” Karine spat back.  “You guys are so fucking useless!”  With that she stood up and stomped away, perhaps to join her Brady bunch boyfriend, or perhaps to fight with the girls over Jay.  Maybe she was into him after all!  There could still be time to break up with Cerise and get with Karine.  But how to make that happen?

“So what have we learned today, kids?” asked Vani.

“That Cavity likes to be on top, Sarah likes the bottom and Karine likes it doggy style.  Valuable information,” grinned Willy.  “I wonder how Cerise likes it.”

“I guess Jay will just have to do some recon,” suggested Vani.

“So seriously, how the fuck did you manage to hook up with her?” asked Karl.

“I dunno,” Jay shrugged.  “It just happened I guess.  After you guys left.  After we gamed.”

“So then I inadvertently got you hooked up, since I’m the one who told you to invite her over,” said Vani.  “So I’m your pimp.  So you owe me money.”

“Fuck off.” Jay rolled his eyes. 

“I take cash or cheques.  Or gift cards.”

“Or my fist to your face!”  Jay grabbed Vani’s tiny little child head in his hand and pushed him until he was on the floor.  It was pretty hilarious.

“Are you guys sure you’re ok with this?” asked Cerise as she and the girls sat down in a stairwell in Casgrain.

“Of course, Cerise.  You’ve been crushing on Jay since Sec 5.  You have dibs,” Sarah assured her.

“Are you sure, ‘cause like, we’ve only been together for like, I dunno, twelve hours?  We can still break up.  I don’t wanna hurt anyone.”

“Do you mean Terry?” asked Sarah.

“I don’t know!” Cerise buried her head in her hands while one of them rubbed her back.  Probably Sarah.  “It’s just so fucked up.  I mean, you know, I’ve wanted this for a long time but I mean, being with him is like, it’s like I’ve wanted it so long I can barely process it.  It doesn’t feel real.  We’ve been friends so long.  I don’t know how to act with him.  And yeah, there’s Terry.  For sure I don’t wanna hurt him.  And I mean, if I go out with Jay, does that mean it’s really over between Terry and me.  Like forever?”

“What if it is?” asked Cassie.

“I don’t know,” replied Cerise, staring off into space.  She just didn’t know.

“Well you’ve done it now, Terry,” said Karine with what could only be described as a wicked grin.

She had just joined him and Nick at Terry’s locker.  It was so insane that he still had to share this space with Cerise.  Everyday he had to stare at her bag and her cute little hats and jackets and baby gloves.  She had the tiniest little hands. 

He turned to Karine and lifted an eyebrow. 

“They’re together,” she said.

“Do you mean Cerise and Jay?” asked Nick.

Karine nodded, still grinning.  Her smile suddenly disappeared and she looked instantly sympathetic.  Terry’s face must have betrayed how he felt.  He tried to keep it together.  To not get angry or sad.  He had to stay calm.  He’d expected this.  He had to keep it together!

“Are you ok?” asked Nick delicately.

“Well, that seals it doesn’t it?  She chose him,” he said with gritted teeth. 

“Come on, Terry.  Like you even gave her a choice.  You didn’t exactly leave things open with her.  You just dumped her and told her to fuck off.  What was she supposed to do?”

Terry shook his head.

“Was she supposed to come back and beg forgiveness?”

“Well that’s what I always did!” he spat.

“She’s such a bitch,” Karine offered but then shrugged meekly when Terry glared at her.

“It’s not like she left you for him,” Nick went on.  “You broke up with her.  From her perspective it’s like her boyfriend tells her to fuck off.  So why shouldn’t she try things out with another guy?  And then you basically told him to go for it.  You made your bed, Terry.”

“Fuck!” he yelled, slamming closed his locker.  A second later his fist flew out and smashed into it.  It left a massive dent.  Shit.