Karine’s parties were legendary. Something weird or exciting or at least marginally significant always happened. Many people had hooked up in the extra room upstairs, which was known as the sewing room because it held a sewing machine, though no one had used the machine since the 20th century. The room itself on the other hand was very well used. It held a comfortable couch, which was good for hook-ups. Karine didn’t mind that her house was constantly being defiled by horny teenagers; she enjoyed being known as the girl with the coolest place to live. It was always unpleasant to find used condoms lying around but Terry, Steven and Chrissy usually helped her clean up, so at least she didn’t have to handle the nastiness alone.
Plenty of other interesting things had occurred at her parties as well. Once David Pyeng had gotten so high he’d climbed a tree and fallen from it, breaking his leg. Apparently he made up a story to tell his parents and Karine had to act as a character witness.
Karine used to invite her primary school friends to her parties and once a girl named Janice had run through the street naked on a dare and she’d almost gotten attacked by a dog.
Terry and Andrew once had a bet to see who could kiss the most girls in one night. They were neck and neck but then Erica won by kissing every single guy at the party.
Christina once drank so much that she got alcohol poisoning and had to go to the hospital. Her parents gave her an intense curfew after that but she was good at sneaking out of her house.
In Sec 3 Andrew got attacked by a girl from another school. As soon as she’d walked in and saw Andrew she picked up a vase and threw it at him. Then she tried to hit him with a beer bottle. At first Karine thought it was the chick he’d gotten pregnant, even though she wasn’t supposed to know about that. It was a secret among the guys but Steven told her everything, or at least he used to when they’d been together. In any case it turned out to be a completely different chick and various theories arose about why she’d attacked him. The most popular theory was that he’d given her an STD, which he vehemently denied but everyone sort of believed it anyway.
Karine imagined that something weird would go down tonight but she never expected Jason Harris would actually show up.
Erica was complaining about the lameness of the party as she and Karine and Christina retook their positions along the kitchen counter. Christina started in on another beer, her fourth that night. Karine made sure she ate some chips too, so she wouldn’t drink on an empty stomach. That was when Jay walked in and said hi.
Karine stared at him for a moment. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she said honestly.
“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Right.”
Erica and Christina were equally dumbstruck and they all watched him as he stood there like a complete ‘tard. Finally Karine offered him a beer from the case on the kitchen table. He took one eagerly and tried to open it without success.
“Do you have a bottle opener?” he asked awkwardly
Karine tried not to laugh. “It’s a twist off.”
Jay struggled with the bottle, trying to look as unpathetic as possible. Suddenly the bottle opened and beer spilled down the front of his shirt.
The girls laughed uproariously. Such a classic spaz move. Karine offered him some paper towels and he cleaned up a bit but finally muttered something incoherent and skulked out of the kitchen.
“The hell?!” Erica cackled.
“I can’t believe he actually came!” laughed Karine.
“What a total spaz!” Christina giggled.
“How does he even know where I live?”
“So how did it go?” asked Cerise with a huge smirk on her face when Jay joined her in the hallway.
“Shut up!” Jay snarled as he continued to wipe his shirt with the soaked paper towels. “God I’m such a retard. She thinks I’m a loser now.”
“Um, I’m sure she has the same opinion of you that she always had,” Cerise offered, completely unhelpfully.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Fuck, she laughed at me!”
“Can you blame her?”
“Cerise!”
“I’m sorry! But I mean can you?”
“Shut up!”
Jay walked over to the stairwell and sat down. Cerise hovered above him.
“Don’t worry. I bet she’s probably forgotten all about it by now.”
Jay looked up in annoyance. “Why? ‘Cause I’m just so forgettable?”
“No. You’re actually pretty good at making an impression.” Cerise laughed.
“Screw you!”
Cerise smiled and sat next to Jay, placing her hand on his. “Relax, Jay. So you spilled a beer, so what? It’s not the worst thing that could happen.”
“Yeah well, the night is young, right?” Jay tried to smile.
“Do you wanna leave?”
“Do you?”
“No way!” Cerise laughed. “So far this night has been hilarious!”
Jay shoved Cerise and she kept laughing until finally Jay had to laugh too. They got up and went to the living room which was pretty crowded. At one end some kids were sitting on couches drinking. Terry Trebisucky was slouched on a big chair guzzling a beer. Some other kids were dancing, including Karine’s stupid ex-boyfriend who was thrashing around like he was at a death metal concert, even though the music was totally pop. If he didn’t watch out he was going to knock something over or hurt someone. What a complete ass.
Shauna walked into the house behind the Glue Sniffers. Two ethnic girls walked by and Ben tried to grab one of them.
“’Sup, bitch?” said Mike.
“Freak!” yelled the black girl.
“Oh my god! I hate those fucking glue sniffers!” said the Indian chick.
“I know, totally,” agreed her friend, rushing away.
They all followed the chicks into the living room and Ben and Mike proceeded to act super obnoxiously. They shoved people and yelled and laughed and Wendy watched it all with a pleased grin. Shauna didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want people to think she was associated with these jerks but she also didn’t want to seem like she was at the party alone. As she scanned the room worriedly, she saw Cerise staring back at her. She was with one of her boyfriends and looked totally grossed out to see Shauna.
Cerise tried to hide behind Jay but it was too late. Shauna had spotted her. What was she even doing here? There was no way she was invited. Was it possible that she really was stalking Cerise and had followed her here? What if she tried to talk to Cerise and people thought they were friends? She seemed to be with a bunch of rowdy weirdoes and everyone was staring at them with contempt. What if people thought Cerise was also with these losers? What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t let anyone think she’d ever been friends with such a spaz. She couldn’t let Shauna drag her down again, like she’d done at St-Thomas. Cerise had to do something before that happened.
Christina finished her beer and reached for another one but Karine insisted she eat something first. Christina hated eating while drinking because it meant she had to drink more to get drunk but she indulged Karine’s overprotectiveness and nibbled on a pretzel.
“God, he won’t even talk to me,” she whined, tossing away the pretzel.
Erica lunged at her like the evil bitch she was, all bitchy and stupid and evil. “Karine, you’re gonna have to hold me back because I will seriously fucking kill this bitch if she says one more word about Terry.”
God whatever. Christina didn’t even care if Erica did try to kill her. At least that would mean that someone cared enough to do something with her. Karine was nicer. Nice Karine. She was always nice. But it was easy to be nice when she had a boyfriend all the time, even though she totally broke up with Steven, which was way weird but whatever.
“Chrissy, you know, um, it might be time to move on from Terry. I mean, there are other guys on this planet.”
Christina liked hearing Terry’s name. It was such a nice name.
“Exactly.” Erica floated around like a balloon always in her face. Except not light like a balloon, heavy and fat like a fat thing ‘cause she was totally fat. “Just hook up with someone else and shut the hell up for fuck’s sake.” Stupid bitch.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“Ok, pay attention. I’ll talk slowly so your miniscule brain can understand.” Fat bitch. “If you hook up with another guy, Terry will get jealous.”
“I dunno,” Christina shrugged.
“Yeah, that’s painfully obvious. But I do know, ok? Trust me.”
Like Christina would ever trust a fat bitch like Erica. “You think?”
“Yes I think! If he sees you with another guy then he’ll want you again.”
“Nice theory but I don’t know if it’ll work on Terry.” Karine always had to be such a downer.
“He’s just a guy. It’ll work.”
Yeah! Totally. He was just a guy. It would totally work!
Shauna was petrified. People were looking at her. Or rather they were looking at the Glue Sniffers but Shauna seemed to be with them and the looks people were giving weren’t exactly friendly. She thought about slinking out of the room and leaving the party. She wasn’t too far from her house, she could walk home. As she was trying to unobtrusively leave the room, Wendy deliberately blocked her way. Ben and Mike were dancing around and they knocked into Shauna, pushing her towards Cerise. Cerise recoiled and looked like she wanted to puke.
“What are you doing here?” Cerise asked angrily.
Shauna didn’t answer. She stared at Cerise pleadingly, hoping to be rescued from the Glue Sniffers.
Cerise spoke again. “Hello? Are you deaf? What are you doing here? I know you weren’t like, invited.”
Shauna had no idea what to say but she didn’t want to let Cerise know she was intimidated. “Um, we’re crashing your party,” she responded stupidly.
“Yeah, um, it’s not my party.”
“Um, ok, I don’t mean your party. I just mean… the party.”
Shauna hoped desperately that Cerise would take pity on her but instead she took what was left of Shauna’s ego and stomped on it like she was a cockroach.
Cerise wanted Shauna to simply go away. To disappear into nothingness. She also would have settled for her own escape to oblivion. At first Shauna had seemed scared, desperate for Cerise’s friendship but now she was getting bitchy, all up in Cerise’s face. Cerise couldn’t back down. She couldn’t let anyone see her get walked on by such a freak.
“Yeah well, no one wants you here.”
“That’s why we’re crashing,” Shauna said with anger.
One of the creepy guys she was with whispered to his Rastafarian friend. “Dude, we’re crashing?”
“That’s pretty sad, Shauna,” Cerise went on. “Maybe you should spare yourself any further embarrassment and just leave.”
“Uhh… it’s like… listen… we’re crashing ok? So fuck you.”
“Is crashing still a thing?” The creepy guy asked a girl with a zillion piercings.
The pierced girl looked amused but also annoyed and she grinned at Cerise like it was a challenge.
Cerise’s voice rose, as she was no longer able to contain herself. “What the fuck is your damage? No one here knows you. No one here likes you. No one here wants you here. So why don’t you just do us all a favour and gather up your little friends and go?!”
Shauna looked shell-shocked. Jay looked pretty stunned too. Cerise heard a deep laugh and turned to see Terry Trebichavsky looking very amused. Shit. He was going to think Cerise was a total loser. But she couldn’t back down now. She had to make sure Shauna got the message and never tried to talk to her ever again.
This was the most awesome thing that had ever happened at any of Karine’s parties. Her parties were already pretty legend but this turn of events would take the cake. The cute blonde chick was completely obliterating the greasy girl and it was totally hilarious. She owned the room. Hell, she owned the whole party. Terry tried to contain his laughter, not wanting to interrupt this stellar take-down.
“You’re just making an ass of yourself,” the cute chick yelled, still raining down a fire of awesome. “You’re being a total spaz and everyone here is laughing at you so just spare us all, ok. Just fuck off!”
The greasy girl looked like she was going to cry and Terry wished she would. That would make things even funnier. She stuttered, saying the party was lame anyway and rushed out of the room like the retard she was.
The Glue Sniffers looked stunned. Terry had never seen them so quiet before. The awesome chick looked at them with righteous fury and threw her hands out like a silent command to get the fuck out. They actually seemed to get the message.
“Whatever. Bitch,” the girl Glue Sniffer spat out as she left.
“Fucking cunt,” said the Rasta dude while the other kid followed him out.
Terry laughed again. It was just so awesomesauce. How was it possible that four years had gone by with everyone secretly hating the Glue Sniffers but never doing anything about it and now suddenly this random chick had completely pwned them? Terry stood up, determined to get to know this amazing girl.
“What the hell is up that chick’s ass?” screamed Wendy as she walked up to her car.
“Seriously! What a cunt!” Ben slammed his fist on the hood and Wendy shoved him aside.
“Hey bitch!” Mike grabbed Sheila before she could escape. “We’re talking to you!”
“Who the hell was that bitch?” Wendy demanded.
Sheila just shrugged like a completely retarded spaz.
“Hello?” Ben knocked on her head.
“Go fuck yourself, you fucking whore!” Mike shoved her and she stumbled away, breaking into a jog.
“Where the hell did you find that skank?” Ben asked Wendy.
“Her locker’s next to mine.”
“Oh, so we know where she lives. Just wait ‘till Monday.”
“Dude, why wait?” Mike asked.
Wendy liked the look in his eyes. This was gonna be good.
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